Portia
Appearances
20/20
Run, Run, Run
Hi, Dad, it's Portia. I hate to bother you so much. I just haven't been able to talk to you, so things are piling up.
20/20
Run, Run, Run
Next message. Hey, this is Portia. I'm starting to get a complex here because you guys have never not picked up your phone.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
Thank you so much. It's true. I am the eldest of nine, and we were abandoned by our mother, so I have filled in that role as mother to my siblings. My grandmother raised us, but she worked the entire time, so... The relationship I have with my siblings is more of one of a mother-child. And now that I have my own child, I find myself feeling obligated.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
It's just what I'm trying to avoid is I always feel obligated to assist them in a lot of their issues that they're dealing with. And recently, I wasn't able to show up for one of my closest siblings, my little sister, who she's like my daughter, and I just wasn't able to show up for her. And the treatment that I got from her kind of just left me shocked and kind of heartbroken.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
We're saying little sister, how old? I'm 41. She's 35.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
Yeah, we're not talking about little. We're talking about grown women with their own children.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
She's a grown woman, and I had a role. You know, all my mother's children have lived with me, and it's like, but now it's like everybody's already had their chances. Everybody's got to stand up. So I told her no, and she just kind of stopped talking to me, and it just devastated me and made me angry, and I'm never angry with them.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
So I know I need to check myself and however I'm showing up for them because there's some kind of – the balance is not right. So my question for Dr. Tama is how do I –
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
balance my relationship with my siblings where I show up as a sibling and not as like a savior or I feel obligated to my family so often and I don't want to feel that way because it makes me retreat sometimes and become resentful yes and angry and I don't want to have that because I've done so much but I also need to because it's showing up in my intimate relationships as well so my question is I need some balance and I need to stop feeling obligated I don't know why I feel that way
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
Yeah, I do. And the obligation feeling is because I know that I'm blessed to be a blessing.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
And I have taken myself into another area and I have a home where I also provide 24 hour care for young girls who grew up like myself. And that's where my energy is now, because those are people who do not have families and things of that nature. But it's the sense of obligation that I really want to work on.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
Because if I show up in my family and something's not there, I just feel like I need to fix it.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
It's an alignment where my heart's been, so I'm really grateful. I feel blessed. Beautiful.
The Oprah Podcast
You’re WORTHY of the Life You Want
I know it. Yes, I know. I've been taking the little steps and hearing it from, of course, Oprah, my favorite godmother. Of course, it just makes me emotional.
Watch What Crappens
#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
And Portia's like, I don't want him to film anything that's going to compromise the growth that we have had.
Watch What Crappens
#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
So Portia's like, no, no, I wasn't being mean. It was just a stress, you know, like she's like washed from the stress going through divorce. And I understand that because like I've been through divorce. So I understood.
Watch What Crappens
#2765 RHOA S16E02 Part One: Grilling the Hot Dog Man
She's like, I didn't. So I called, she didn't even say anything. Do not say a single thing to me about them working together.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, look at my car, everybody.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, Shamia, it's me, I'm here finally.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
It's me, look at me. It's me reacting to Shamia getting a car.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
She's like, yeah, you look gorgeous.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And then Portia's like, you know, she knows my intentions is always to be there for her. But, you know, when you have a party at that time, the traffic's insane.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Kenya's like, oh my God, so why was Kelly upset?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, oh my God, a little thing can become a big thing. Okay, let's go do it.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she goes, how did I greet you? Did I hug anybody though? Did I hug anybody?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, we're causing trouble. What am I mayhem? Get it?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And so Kelly is like, well, you know, we had dinner the other night, and like me, Shamia, and Britt, you know, and I was like, well, why did Portia take that man's husband?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Portia's like, oh my God, that's your opening line? Wow, what's your name again?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Portia's like, um, I don't want to talk to you.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she's like, yeah, he has more things to be concerned about than the peach.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
I was like, that's her energy. Come on.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Like I'm on my B block too. I don't care.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
Another night? Where's my jaw? My jaw's on the floor.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So she's like, what you're not going to do is let him take you because you're the only one who's been so vulnerable and open and let them spread out the issues. You got this.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
So Portia tells us, I mean, she's like, even right now, Drew's an influencer for my company, Go Naked Hair. But all this behind the scenes bullshit, sneaking around with my child's father, to me, that's just crossing the line.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Portia's like, I can still go there. I'm Nigerian. I, I found out my 44%. So look, I've got one of my sisters right here doing my makeup. Where are you? What's your tribe?
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And she goes, yeah, Yoruba, we're the same. I'm your sister. I used to be, I used to be her wife.
Watch What Crappens
#2757 RHOA S16E01 Part Two: Pretty As a Peach
And Portia's like, yeah, there's a new girl named Kelly, and she apparently owns restaurants, stuff like that. And like, I don't know her. I don't know. I don't know. Whatever. She has waffles. Who cares?