Mod Sun

And I just took all my drugs in a backpack and went to this Airstream trailer in the middle of Joshua Tree and was holed up in there for two days to the point that my friend, who I was just with last night, shout out Losty, he was my quote unquote assistant, living with me at the time. kind of a caretaker in a lot of ways. Cause I was like in my really bad phase of being an addict.

And I just took all my drugs in a backpack and went to this Airstream trailer in the middle of Joshua Tree and was holed up in there for two days to the point that my friend, who I was just with last night, shout out Losty, he was my quote unquote assistant, living with me at the time. kind of a caretaker in a lot of ways. Cause I was like in my really bad phase of being an addict.

He like had to drive down from LA to Joshua tree, like throw me in the, he found me in an airstream in the middle of Joshua tree, like passed out with like a bag of cocaine on my fucking chest legitimately. And, uh, threw me in the back of the car and like drove me back up to LA. And from that moment on, I went on like a six day bender that if I shut my eyes for maybe an hour or

He like had to drive down from LA to Joshua tree, like throw me in the, he found me in an airstream in the middle of Joshua tree, like passed out with like a bag of cocaine on my fucking chest legitimately. And, uh, threw me in the back of the car and like drove me back up to LA. And from that moment on, I went on like a six day bender that if I shut my eyes for maybe an hour or

every three days during that like i really was like pushed it to my limits and uh like on a suicide mission i really did i really did and um it was also just mixing like whippets and and uh academy and all the all ridiculous like stupid just like ridiculous but anyways um After this, like, long – I wasn't staying at my house. I was staying at my friend's house.

every three days during that like i really was like pushed it to my limits and uh like on a suicide mission i really did i really did and um it was also just mixing like whippets and and uh academy and all the all ridiculous like stupid just like ridiculous but anyways um After this, like, long – I wasn't staying at my house. I was staying at my friend's house.

After this long, like, four or five days of being at my friend's house, just out of my mind, I, like, came back to my house and lined up this, like, really fat fucking caterpillar line of cocaine, snorted it in my eyes, and rolled it into the back of my head. And my guy who I was talking about, Losty, basically, like, found me just fucking –

After this long, like, four or five days of being at my friend's house, just out of my mind, I, like, came back to my house and lined up this, like, really fat fucking caterpillar line of cocaine, snorted it in my eyes, and rolled it into the back of my head. And my guy who I was talking about, Losty, basically, like, found me just fucking –

out, down and out, like on my bath floor, like came to, didn't have to go to the hospital, came to, and was really like, damn, that, that was it. Like, I just got my second lease on life. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done.

out, down and out, like on my bath floor, like came to, didn't have to go to the hospital, came to, and was really like, damn, that, that was it. Like, I just got my second lease on life. I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done.

And I, and, and to everyone out there that is at all thinking of sobriety or what can come with it or, or, you know, how to do it or whatever. Like I look at it in a way, uh, That I also made this great trade. And it's like, again, the world makes you think that it's not OK to ask for something when you're doing something that's like good for yourself. Right. Oh, I asked for something. OK.

And I, and, and to everyone out there that is at all thinking of sobriety or what can come with it or, or, you know, how to do it or whatever. Like I look at it in a way, uh, That I also made this great trade. And it's like, again, the world makes you think that it's not OK to ask for something when you're doing something that's like good for yourself. Right. Oh, I asked for something. OK.

I was like, I have I knew cocaine was going to kill me from literally a year into doing it. I was like, cocaine is going to kill me. Okay? I had these big, wide dreams in my eyes of being super successful as a musician and, you know, getting the big record deal and making it and getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and all that. And...

I was like, I have I knew cocaine was going to kill me from literally a year into doing it. I was like, cocaine is going to kill me. Okay? I had these big, wide dreams in my eyes of being super successful as a musician and, you know, getting the big record deal and making it and getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and all that. And...

I was blocking my blessing because I was bringing around a suitcase filled with shame everywhere I went, okay? I felt shameful every time I did a lot of cocaine, okay? So I can be working as hard as I've ever worked and going so hard and making great things and doing all this, but I am telling whatever is up here, I'm a God person ever since I got sober.

I was blocking my blessing because I was bringing around a suitcase filled with shame everywhere I went, okay? I felt shameful every time I did a lot of cocaine, okay? So I can be working as hard as I've ever worked and going so hard and making great things and doing all this, but I am telling whatever is up here, I'm a God person ever since I got sober.

It brought me to like faith and God and all that. Before it was just like the universe. And you're just telling whatever you believe in that you don't deserve it because you feel shame about yourself. Now, if you're an addict that doesn't feel bad about fucking drinking or doing drugs or any of that, I don't think you're blocking your blessing.

It brought me to like faith and God and all that. Before it was just like the universe. And you're just telling whatever you believe in that you don't deserve it because you feel shame about yourself. Now, if you're an addict that doesn't feel bad about fucking drinking or doing drugs or any of that, I don't think you're blocking your blessing.

I don't think it's great for you, but I don't think you're blocking your blessing because you're not telling the higher power that I'm a piece of shit. I was telling the higher power, I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. And so the second that I got sober, I was like, check it out. I was like, God,

I don't think it's great for you, but I don't think you're blocking your blessing because you're not telling the higher power that I'm a piece of shit. I was telling the higher power, I'm a piece of shit. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve it. And so the second that I got sober, I was like, check it out. I was like, God,