Lee
Appearances
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
It's actually Lee, but you are the eight millionth person to get that wrong. So we'll just blame my parents together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Both from England. It's a more British typical name.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
My dad was born in England. My mom's whole family was in England, emigrated to Canada. That's where I was born.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
I live in Greenfield, Massachusetts now. Nice.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Two hours west. It's very close to where you've been, Dax. You recorded The Judge in the town next to us in Shelburne Falls.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
I love it there. We actually got engaged in that town.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
I do. OK, so my story starts in November 2010. I was a junior in college at UMass Amherst. So me and my friends were at one of my friend's apartments. We're partying, drinking, you know, as a junior in college does. Somebody notices our friend Alyssa's calendar on the wall and it says Johnston Family Christmas Party. Alyssa, how drunk are you? Your last name is Johnson.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Do you not know how to spell your own last name? And she was like, wait, you guys don't know this already. My dad was a Johnston and my mom was a Johnson. So she only changed her last name by one letter. Oh. So in our tipsy girlhood state, we all just start laughing and come up with this theory. Her parents were the sweetest couple. We all loved them. So we're like, it's fate, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
If it's one letter different, fate has spoken and you must be together.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Right? Why not? Continue on with our night. Keep drinking. Mostly forget about this until the next night. My best friend and I, Kate, who was at the party as well, part of this conversation. We go to our shift at the dining hall. Quick side note. You guys have already heard about this dining hall.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
It's the same building. Isn't that so funny and simp, right?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
When I heard that story, I was like, what are the chances? And then he's describing the building. I'm like, yes, this is the building I worked in. And I think it's around the same time. I want to say he said 2010, 2011. So we're talking could have been the next day. Who knows? Did you work there? Yes, I was a student worker.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So we actually traded texts back and forth trying to remember who this person was.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So much is going down at the dining hall.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So yeah, this is the same place. So Kate and I go to our shift and our shift was late nights, which basically means serving fried food to kids stumbling and drunk or high, you know, on a study break. Very laid back. And there's usually only like one or two cooks who are the supervisors for the night. And then the rest are just student workers. 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
But a good shift for people watching...
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
It honestly was the best. And it was also great working because you saw all your friends. They came in and said hi. But you also just got a lot of good stories. So yeah, on this particular night, we're setting up our station, Kate and I. We see someone in a cook's outfit walk past and we're like, huh, I hadn't seen this person before. He's walking by and I definitely clock him.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
He's tall, he's handsome, broad shoulders, bright blue eyes. Pooped his pants.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
He caught my eye for sure. Kate, of course, knowing me better than anyone in the world, she clocks me clocking him. She kind of gives me a smirk and she's like, okay, we like him. And then that's when she, I think, remembers the joke. She's like, well, you can't date him unless it's one letter different. There's no way, you know, it's the rule. It's fate. We joke about it.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Then he comes over and is like, hey, I'm the cook for the night, which means he was our supervisor for the night. Oh, in power. Not quite a professor, but almost. I'll take it. He's on making the Philly cheesesteaks and he assigns me to the fry later, which is right next to him frying the onion rings because of course, onion rings, Philly cheesesteaks. It's a good night.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
We're next to each other all night. And to my pleasant surprise, the flirtation is on immediately. We're chatting.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
No, no, no, no, no. The cooks were often just out of college. We're flirting and Kate's clocking it. And being my best friend that she is, she's of course going to give me a hard time about this. So she just keeps as often as she can discreetly being like, doesn't matter if it's not one letter different, you can't date him. Joking.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So anyway, the shift goes on, more flirting happens and we're getting towards the end of the shift. And she's just kind of like, all right, I'm taking stuff into my own hands now because we don't know if we're going to see this guy again because he doesn't normally work with us. So we don't know, like, is he new? Is he from another dining hall? Is he just covering?
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Next time he walks up to us, she just goes, hey, I didn't catch your last name. What is it? And he goes, Herrick. And we just are frozen staring at him. So he walks away and our jaws are on the floor because my last name was Derek.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So anyway, he walks away and we're like, we're logical girls. That's crazy. We just talked about this yesterday. There's no chance that this is real. So we come up with, he must have overheard her joking with me. He was standing right next to me a lot. And maybe he got given like a list of staff names of who was working with him that night. And so he just decided to pull a fast one on us.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
So he walks back and Kate, being the future badass lawyer that she is, immediately pounces on him and is like, there's no way that's your real last name. What is it really? He's like, you don't believe my last name? Like, what do you want to see, ID? And we both immediately were like, yes. He takes out his ID and just right there on his Massachusetts driver's license says Robert Herrick. Oh.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Not then, because our jaws were plastered on the floor. And I don't know how you really explain that in a non-creepy way.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
All of my friends have decided it's fate and you now must marry me. And this is now 2 a.m. We're a little delirious. He walks away and we clock out. We go on with our day. But of course, the next day, Kate quickly tells all of our friends, oh, it's fate. Lee's met the love of her life. She's getting married, joking around. And I kind of just blow it off because that's ridiculous. Nothing happens.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
Don't see him again at the shift until a month later, he finds me on Facebook and slides into my DMs.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Armchair Anonymous: Meet Cute II
He just was kind of like, how's it going? You want to go on a date? So we did. Somehow that date lasted four days. Sorry, mom. Oh, wow. It was... Just one of those things where you start hanging out and you never stop. I was still in college. So, of course, I continued on college. But as soon as we graduated, we moved in together. And in 2016, Kate told this story at our wedding.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Hey, Dr. John. How are you?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Well, so my question is, how do I know that it's safe to recombine my finances with my husband? What happened? So my husband, he has a very big problem with addiction. He has gone through drugs. He's gone through alcohol. He's gone through gambling. It got to a point where we didn't have money left in the bank account anymore. And there was just like a time that
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
We needed to have stability in our house, and with the kids, I wanted to make sure that we were able to have them provided for.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Um, well, since then, I mean, we've done a lot of healing. Um, we, um, did therapy and he, is he sober? He is. Yes.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Um, it's been about two years now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
He's still working on it, but it has definitely been a big improvement since it was in the past.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I do. It's more of like, I don't know if I can convince myself of it too, though.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I think it just... Like, I struggle with kind of my mind reminding myself of what it was in the past.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
And so it's like the last two years have been, I mean, outstandingly better. Okay. But it's like... I still struggle to know that, you know?
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Yeah. It's... it's kind of like ups and downs, um, especially with not having them combined. Um, like we decided back then that, you know, his money was his money and my money was my money. And I mean, we would kind of work together as the splitting the bills and everything, but it's, it's been a struggle with, I guess, watching him blow money. Yeah. But it, it's like, I, I,
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
don't want to say anything because I know it's not combined, but it's like, I think I'm a little scared to say something too, just because I've had a lot of those in the past.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Um, yeah, for the most part. Yeah.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
I'm thinking that sounds reasonable.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Well, it's getting close to three months now.
The Dr. John Delony Show
How Do I Tolerate My In-Laws for My Family’s Sake?
Oh, I don't know. It's like, I feel like he might. I don't, it's like, we've tried so hard to just not talk about money because it has been like such a big stretcher point.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
What were the other things on your end? I hesitate to say financially abusive, but whenever we would get a tax refund, The first year that we were married, the first two years we were married, she spent the tax refunds before I had a chance to have any input. And then ever since then, I would spend them without taking any input from her.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
And I would justify that because, oh, well, she spent those two tax refunds. So now these other 12 I've spent. How did you share finances? We did full, you know, just all in on keeping everything together.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Um, I would say that, yeah, it was kind of the house was not so much me, but on her end, the house was always hers, and I didn't really get much of a say in what was, you know, like, hey, I need a trash can here. Can I have that? No, I don't want that trash can there. Yeah. Stuff like that.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
We talked every day, but we'd see each other maybe twice a month. Okay.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Sometimes conjugal visits. I tried to, you know, when we were able to. We had five kids, so I wasn't always able to do that even. But when we were able to, you know, I'd try to make it a date and, you know, spend some time together.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
They are 11, 10, 9, 7, and 6. Golly. How far away are you? I'm on the other side of town.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
How soon is too soon to start dating after a divorce? My wife decided she wanted a divorce and there was some stuff on my end, some pornography addiction and some other things.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Well, I'm, uh, Definitely looking not to make the same mistakes that I did in my marriage. And I'm just looking for a companion, a wife, somebody that I can walk with the Lord with.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Hey, Dr. Deloney. I'm just wondering, how soon is too soon to start dating after a divorce?
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Tell me about your world, man. Well, about... Oh, about a year and a half ago, my wife went to live with her folks to take care of her mom. And then about half a year ago, she decided she wanted a divorce. And there was some stuff on my end, some pornography addiction and some other things that I worked on and tried to save the marriage, but in the end, she went ahead with a divorce.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
I do have a group that I get together with on Tuesdays to go shooting.
The Dr. John Delony Show
Is It Too Soon to Start Dating After My Divorce?
Uh, early in my marriage to my, uh, wife, um, I, uh, I had forced myself on her at one point. Okay. And, uh, I have trouble respecting myself from that.