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LaMare

Appearances

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)

1170.782

I was about to.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)

4020.303

I haven't been quiet. I've seen you like twice. I want to talk to you and hang out with you. Nate, we got to get you harder, dude. We can't.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)

4329.83

Trying to pull out and having your ass hit the dresser. Hit the wall. Oh, shit. That's a new porn genre.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 541 - NP-Ari (feat. Ari Shaffir)

553.828

He's dressed like a substitute bus driver. You don't even have an ass anymore. You got a flat white ass. I did lose my ass. How'd you lose your ass?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

1268.629

What?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

2559.364

Thank you.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

2950.307

Yeah.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

3667.259

No, superposition is real. It is real.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

3801.918

Huh? Yeah. I'm more of a quantum computing guy. What's up with that? For sure. It's just infinite storage and infinite memory. There we go. Yeah. What is it? It's just infinite storage and infinite memory. That's basically what quantum computing is.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

3843.371

A lot of spiritual dudes go heavy on quantum stuff. It's really funny. Dude, don't even get Matt started on dark matter. There's been a lot of dark matter discoveries.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

3976.874

The papers are to put out a theory out there so everyone else can start working on it and, like, figure it out. So there's, like, a trail, you know?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

553.996

You never shit your pants. I don't really shit my pants like that. You don't really?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

629.969

I don't shit my pants. When's the last time you did?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

637.734

I try not to fart.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

656.116

That was because I was poisoned by Nate. I feel like you have to be poisoned a lot.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 554 - Shane's Steak and Beanz

666.283

No, dude, I'm good at holding it and, like, not pooing before I, like, I just poop before I go out. Except for last week. Except for last week. Last week was a shame pool. What was that?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 540 - Cosmic Balance

2845.197

Thank you.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

1136.281

Yeah. You got killed, and you would just release. Yeah.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

1143.186

Yeah, it was definitely in the game.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

1222.53

I'll blow a fucking knee out and smack that. Only if I win.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

1226.453

Yeah, that's got to be the height of it, though.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

1901.055

Yeah, for real.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

2398.872

Video game lying.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

2762.24

Yeah.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

3902.604

It's not binary. Your computer's running on a series of 0-1-1-1-1-1-0-1, male, female, male, female. Non-binary bullshit. Computer computing is gender fluid.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

3918.429

There's a 9 in this computer?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

3923.47

That's definitely taking over.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

3935.113

Thank yous.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

621.184

He got a sword. He got a foam sword.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

639.012

It was the funniest fucking thing ever.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

745.402

The lady had to read the name. She'd be like, uh, thick daddy, uh, butt stuff.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

881.008

It was me. Brittany was complaining about it. She was like in otherworldly stench. She was like, I don't know who was farting in there. It was Spider, dude. I had to fumigate that fucking room, dude.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

893.636

Spider. Spider. Fucking disgusting. She ran right into a spider web, dude.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

932.092

You guys are doing bio-epics here.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

963.21

My 39th birthday.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

969.272

Yeah, it was a fucking 12-year-old's birthday. I skateboarded all day and then I smoked weed about the laser day.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1065.734

Yep. Get in front of the camera.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1070.539

I'm not a millionaire. I'm not a millionaire, but I do have a show at Cap City Comedy Club. I have two shows, May 30th and 31st at Cap City Comedy Club, Sean Gardini and Friends in Austin, Texas. Please come to those if you can. The link is below. And also Optimum Noctis on June 3rd.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1093.772

The link is on my page, on my own personal page, if you'd like to come to the show. The link's below. The link is below. Thank you, guys.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1123.874

And live panties in the mouth, May 25. Where? Where at? At Speakeasy. At Speakeasy's here in Austin? Yep, here in Austin, Texas.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1132.444

Live panties in the mouth.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1830.419

Oh, no.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

1830.639

Oh.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

2137.829

The Mexican Navy?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

2218.75

Fuck yeah.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

2557.978

No.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

2562.561

We're all black production staff now. Did you hear about that? What? Red-haired people are black now. It's a big thing.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

2571.304

True.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

3278.493

Bieber. Bieber's on one since the trial started. He's been acting out.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

3288.443

I've just seen... Yeah, maybe. I've seen little clips here and there.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

3425.139

I don't know.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

3439.684

He lives in a ranch in Hawaii that has a 5,000 square foot bunker.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

4150.32

Hey!

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

4196.921

Hey, stand up. We're standing up now.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

4288.33

you

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

488.154

You got disrespected at Cabo Bob's? Yeah, I told Matt about this, and I told everybody besides you about this, but I was with... What the fuck are you telling everyone else for and not me?

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

499.117

I didn't mean to disrespect you, I'm sorry, but... It's fine, I'm a disrespect. It was me and all the big guys. So it was me, LaMare, Andy, Pat, and our friend Jake Ricca. Is Jake thick, too? He's about 1,500 pounds man with me at the Cabo Bob's. You guys can't get in an elevator. No, absolutely not. It would have been Final Destination. Nine people.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

523.565

It was five. And some guy commented about how he was like, why are all you big guys hanging out with this little guy? It's just kind of weird to see. That's funny. He was like, you guys are all so big and he's so little. Who said this to you? A random guy at the Cabo Bob's. It just didn't even work there? No, no. He was just going to pick up his lunch and he commented on all of our sites.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

546.68

He saw you guys and he probably thought it was some type of weird sexual... I kept joking. He was like, there's their little humper. Yeah, I was joking about that. I was joking about how I had a fat drawn carriage that took me around town. Yeah. You do chill deep with the fats. I know.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

564.513

I never realized until that moment that it probably is a weird sight to see me hanging out with only people that are about four times bigger.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

782.868

It's so crazy. It would be cool to roll around in an Escalade. It would look ridiculous. Especially if you pulled up in the Escalade and five fat guys got out.

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 560 - Big Boy Toys

814.045

I like the Accord. It's nice. It is a nice car. The Accord is nice. Gets me where I got to go.