LaMare

I was about to.

I haven't been quiet. I've seen you like twice. I want to talk to you and hang out with you. Nate, we got to get you harder, dude. We can't.

Trying to pull out and having your ass hit the dresser. Hit the wall. Oh, shit. That's a new porn genre.

He's dressed like a substitute bus driver. You don't even have an ass anymore. You got a flat white ass. I did lose my ass. How'd you lose your ass?

What?

Thank you.

Yeah.

No, superposition is real. It is real.

Huh? Yeah. I'm more of a quantum computing guy. What's up with that? For sure. It's just infinite storage and infinite memory. There we go. Yeah. What is it? It's just infinite storage and infinite memory. That's basically what quantum computing is.

A lot of spiritual dudes go heavy on quantum stuff. It's really funny. Dude, don't even get Matt started on dark matter. There's been a lot of dark matter discoveries.

The papers are to put out a theory out there so everyone else can start working on it and, like, figure it out. So there's, like, a trail, you know?

You never shit your pants. I don't really shit my pants like that. You don't really?

I don't shit my pants. When's the last time you did?

I try not to fart.

That was because I was poisoned by Nate. I feel like you have to be poisoned a lot.

No, dude, I'm good at holding it and, like, not pooing before I, like, I just poop before I go out. Except for last week. Except for last week. Last week was a shame pool. What was that?

Thank you.

Yeah. You got killed, and you would just release. Yeah.

Yeah, it was definitely in the game.

I'll blow a fucking knee out and smack that. Only if I win.

Yeah, that's got to be the height of it, though.

Yeah, for real.

Video game lying.

Yeah.

It's not binary. Your computer's running on a series of 0-1-1-1-1-1-0-1, male, female, male, female. Non-binary bullshit. Computer computing is gender fluid.

There's a 9 in this computer?

That's definitely taking over.

Thank yous.

He got a sword. He got a foam sword.

It was the funniest fucking thing ever.

The lady had to read the name. She'd be like, uh, thick daddy, uh, butt stuff.

It was me. Brittany was complaining about it. She was like in otherworldly stench. She was like, I don't know who was farting in there. It was Spider, dude. I had to fumigate that fucking room, dude.

Spider. Spider. Fucking disgusting. She ran right into a spider web, dude.

You guys are doing bio-epics here.

My 39th birthday.

Yeah, it was a fucking 12-year-old's birthday. I skateboarded all day and then I smoked weed about the laser day.

Yep. Get in front of the camera.

I'm not a millionaire. I'm not a millionaire, but I do have a show at Cap City Comedy Club. I have two shows, May 30th and 31st at Cap City Comedy Club, Sean Gardini and Friends in Austin, Texas. Please come to those if you can. The link is below. And also Optimum Noctis on June 3rd.

The link is on my page, on my own personal page, if you'd like to come to the show. The link's below. The link is below. Thank you, guys.

And live panties in the mouth, May 25. Where? Where at? At Speakeasy. At Speakeasy's here in Austin? Yep, here in Austin, Texas.

Live panties in the mouth.

Oh, no.

Oh.

The Mexican Navy?

Fuck yeah.

No.

We're all black production staff now. Did you hear about that? What? Red-haired people are black now. It's a big thing.

True.

Bieber. Bieber's on one since the trial started. He's been acting out.

I've just seen... Yeah, maybe. I've seen little clips here and there.

I don't know.

He lives in a ranch in Hawaii that has a 5,000 square foot bunker.

Hey!

Hey, stand up. We're standing up now.

you

You got disrespected at Cabo Bob's? Yeah, I told Matt about this, and I told everybody besides you about this, but I was with... What the fuck are you telling everyone else for and not me?

I didn't mean to disrespect you, I'm sorry, but... It's fine, I'm a disrespect. It was me and all the big guys. So it was me, LaMare, Andy, Pat, and our friend Jake Ricca. Is Jake thick, too? He's about 1,500 pounds man with me at the Cabo Bob's. You guys can't get in an elevator. No, absolutely not. It would have been Final Destination. Nine people.

It was five. And some guy commented about how he was like, why are all you big guys hanging out with this little guy? It's just kind of weird to see. That's funny. He was like, you guys are all so big and he's so little. Who said this to you? A random guy at the Cabo Bob's. It just didn't even work there? No, no. He was just going to pick up his lunch and he commented on all of our sites.

He saw you guys and he probably thought it was some type of weird sexual... I kept joking. He was like, there's their little humper. Yeah, I was joking about that. I was joking about how I had a fat drawn carriage that took me around town. Yeah. You do chill deep with the fats. I know.

I never realized until that moment that it probably is a weird sight to see me hanging out with only people that are about four times bigger.

It's so crazy. It would be cool to roll around in an Escalade. It would look ridiculous. Especially if you pulled up in the Escalade and five fat guys got out.

I like the Accord. It's nice. It is a nice car. The Accord is nice. Gets me where I got to go.