Kim Scott

One of my favorite stories about the use of an I-stander comes from a guy who went into a meeting with a colleague who's a woman. They were at a small company. They were meeting with a big company. So they walk into this conference room. And his colleague, the woman, had the expertise that was going to win her team the deal. So she sat at the center of the table.

One of my favorite stories about the use of an I-stander comes from a guy who went into a meeting with a colleague who's a woman. They were at a small company. They were meeting with a big company. So they walk into this conference room. And his colleague, the woman, had the expertise that was going to win her team the deal. So she sat at the center of the table.

One of my favorite stories about the use of an I-stander comes from a guy who went into a meeting with a colleague who's a woman. They were at a small company. They were meeting with a big company. So they walk into this conference room. And his colleague, the woman, had the expertise that was going to win her team the deal. So she sat at the center of the table.

It's this big, long conference table. And the other side came in. There's 15 of them. The first person sat across, not from her, but from him. Then the next person sat across from the guy to his left. And then everybody else filed on down the table, leaving her dangling by herself. And she...

It's this big, long conference table. And the other side came in. There's 15 of them. The first person sat across, not from her, but from him. Then the next person sat across from the guy to his left. And then everybody else filed on down the table, leaving her dangling by herself. And she...

It's this big, long conference table. And the other side came in. There's 15 of them. The first person sat across, not from her, but from him. Then the next person sat across from the guy to his left. And then everybody else filed on down the table, leaving her dangling by herself. And she...

started talking that's often how bias shows up by the way just who sits next to whom or across from whom so she started talking undeterred and when the other side had questions they didn't direct them at her they directed them at her two colleagues who were met it happened once it happened twice finally the third time it happened he stood up and he said i think we should switch seats

started talking that's often how bias shows up by the way just who sits next to whom or across from whom so she started talking undeterred and when the other side had questions they didn't direct them at her they directed them at her two colleagues who were met it happened once it happened twice finally the third time it happened he stood up and he said i think we should switch seats

started talking that's often how bias shows up by the way just who sits next to whom or across from whom so she started talking undeterred and when the other side had questions they didn't direct them at her they directed them at her two colleagues who were met it happened once it happened twice finally the third time it happened he stood up and he said i think we should switch seats

That is all he had to do to totally change the dynamic in the room, because as soon as he did that, the other side realized what they were doing and they knocked it off. They started engaging her. Now, why did he decide to be an upstander in the moment? First of all, there's a practical reason. He just wanted to win the deal. Second of all, there's an emotional reason.

That is all he had to do to totally change the dynamic in the room, because as soon as he did that, the other side realized what they were doing and they knocked it off. They started engaging her. Now, why did he decide to be an upstander in the moment? First of all, there's a practical reason. He just wanted to win the deal. Second of all, there's an emotional reason.

That is all he had to do to totally change the dynamic in the room, because as soon as he did that, the other side realized what they were doing and they knocked it off. They started engaging her. Now, why did he decide to be an upstander in the moment? First of all, there's a practical reason. He just wanted to win the deal. Second of all, there's an emotional reason.

He liked his colleague and he didn't like seeing her get ignored. Third of all, he had some compassion for the people who were making this mistake, for the people who were demonstrating this bias. He knew that we all have bias. He had different biases. And he knew that it would be easier for them to hear it from him than from her. It wasn't that he thought she couldn't stand up for herself.

He liked his colleague and he didn't like seeing her get ignored. Third of all, he had some compassion for the people who were making this mistake, for the people who were demonstrating this bias. He knew that we all have bias. He had different biases. And he knew that it would be easier for them to hear it from him than from her. It wasn't that he thought she couldn't stand up for herself.

He liked his colleague and he didn't like seeing her get ignored. Third of all, he had some compassion for the people who were making this mistake, for the people who were demonstrating this bias. He knew that we all have bias. He had different biases. And he knew that it would be easier for them to hear it from him than from her. It wasn't that he thought she couldn't stand up for herself.

But if he had a little compassion for the people who were making this mistake, it would make it easier for them to correct their mistake. And fourth, there's a self-interested reason for him to do this, because I know that everyone listening to us talk has had a moment probably in the last two weeks where someone said or did something that was so outrageous, it left them just speechless.

But if he had a little compassion for the people who were making this mistake, it would make it easier for them to correct their mistake. And fourth, there's a self-interested reason for him to do this, because I know that everyone listening to us talk has had a moment probably in the last two weeks where someone said or did something that was so outrageous, it left them just speechless.

But if he had a little compassion for the people who were making this mistake, it would make it easier for them to correct their mistake. And fourth, there's a self-interested reason for him to do this, because I know that everyone listening to us talk has had a moment probably in the last two weeks where someone said or did something that was so outrageous, it left them just speechless.

And then you wake up at three in the morning thinking, why didn't I say anything? So it was a self-protective thing. He didn't want, because if you are a silent bystander, you wind up suffering what's called a moral injury. You didn't do anything wrong, but you didn't also intervene. And so you feel slimed by this other person's behavior.

And then you wake up at three in the morning thinking, why didn't I say anything? So it was a self-protective thing. He didn't want, because if you are a silent bystander, you wind up suffering what's called a moral injury. You didn't do anything wrong, but you didn't also intervene. And so you feel slimed by this other person's behavior.