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Jimmy Fallon

Appearances

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The Kidnapping of Ape #8398

116.473

It doesn't look that way.

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The Kidnapping of Ape #8398

1368.975

Welcome back to the show and congrats on getting married. This is a big deal.

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The Kidnapping of Ape #8398

1395.261

We're part of the same community. We're both apes. I love it. This is my ape. This is yours.

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The Kidnapping of Ape #8398

1405.643

It reminded me of me a little bit because I wear striped shirts.

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"Howard Stern"

103.425

I don't have an intro. Sean's got an intro. Look at the cards.

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"Howard Stern"

1075.713

Like self-sabotage? Like you had like this level of indifference?

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"Howard Stern"

1152.79

W4 was a short version of WWW.

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"Howard Stern"

1175.708

You kind of hit bucket. It was like it was not going great, and you was like, might as well throw it all against the wall.

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"Howard Stern"

1225.46

And I'm not sure there's been a new haircut.

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"Howard Stern"

1417.023

But your audience is bigger today than it's ever been, and you're not doing all of those sort of shocking things. You're doing measured, deep... conversations, long-form interviews with very sophisticated people and like, so.

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"Howard Stern"

1505.283

I would say that it would, in a compliment to you, that it was less deliberate or contrived or strategic for you to, oh, let's switch it up now and give the audience something they're not going to expect. I think it's, and I haven't known you for, you know, a thousand years, but...

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"Howard Stern"

1523.783

it does seem pretty obvious that you have naturally just evolved into a more curious, serious, not as a pejorative, person who's interested in different kinds of questions and with different kinds of people.

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"Howard Stern"

1545.326

But you weren't doing it as a ratings ploy. You were being sincere and genuine.

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"Howard Stern"

1558.588

No, but I mean now. Now it was not a ratings ploy.

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"Howard Stern"

1561.589

And you are, hands down, the best interviewer in all of media.

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"Howard Stern"

1567.11

It's true. Without a doubt.

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"Howard Stern"

1577.778

It doesn't matter whether it's comics or athletes or musicians or actors or whatever it is. You question them for us. as us, and it's a layman's point of view, and it's very curious, and you're listening, you have a bunch of fucking cards with questions on it, you're engaged in a conversation, and it was a true inspiration for us. It really was.

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"Howard Stern"

1751.129

How old were you when you still didn't know whether your dad's eye was glass?

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"Howard Stern"

18.219

Here we go. That's us. You guys. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Thank you for being here. You guys aren't really fans. You're friends of ours. So that's very nice of you to show up. Thank you, everybody. Drive all the way out here to Long Island. Pay nothing. Really nice. Pay nothing. Right?

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"Howard Stern"

1842.352

Just a couple.

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"Howard Stern"

1961.65

No one could figure out the lock.

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"Howard Stern"

1998.741

She pops it out to go to sleep.

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"Howard Stern"

2067.581

Is it like a timeshare? Do you get it? No, but do you get it?

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"Howard Stern"

2119.787

You didn't think you were going to love it.

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"Howard Stern"

212.118

Isn't that, wow?

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"Howard Stern"

214.06

How long have you not seen him?

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"Howard Stern"

2140.32

Did Jimmy and Molly somehow convince you and Beth that this is going to be great?

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"Howard Stern"

2153.847

Once a year, she gets out.

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"Howard Stern"

218.504

And he's in the theater with you. You just starred in something. He didn't stick around and say, what a treat.

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"Howard Stern"

2331.334

But don't you also find that your agenda is no longer to provide a show for your listener, but instead perhaps you hope that the people remaining listening to you on that particular day happen to be as interested in the person you're talking to as you are. In other words, you're not... That's right. Yeah, and it's a more honest sort of, you're not pushing, you're not pressing, you're just sincere.

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"Howard Stern"

248.477

For those of you who don't know, Sean's mom famously has one fake eye.

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"Howard Stern"

2511.147

But when I'm in the mood for a long-form thing, it's like there's no one better.

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"Howard Stern"

2595.211

I have to say, I tried to be a guest on your show for so many years. I kept asking my publicist every year, just hoping, like, are things good enough in my career where maybe I could be?

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"Howard Stern"

2605.624

No, no, no. But my publicist said, listen, Jason, we got news back. It's good news, bad news. Good news is he says he's a fan. Bad news is he says he just genuinely really has nothing he would like to know. No, no, no. I'm paraphrasing. But it was absolutely true.

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"Howard Stern"

261.397

So Sean should be an axe murderer, right? I mean, but he's... Let's see how this goes.

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"Howard Stern"

2635.936

No, no, but seriously, it's much more interesting talking to somebody who's got, like, a weird, fucked up... Here's the thing.

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"Howard Stern"

2688.023

Do you miss playing music at all? Like being a disc jockey?

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"Howard Stern"

2728.748

You had no autonomy. You couldn't launch bands. You had to play.

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"Howard Stern"

2772.239

You did have some sense that you... I had no sense. I was an idiot. You had a sense that your personality might be halfway entertaining. I didn't know.

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"Howard Stern"

2794.088

Why did you think that?

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"Howard Stern"

2800.732

So you weren't always this charismatic? You weren't always this comfortable in talking?

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"Howard Stern"

2871.072

But is that the group that would, if anyone was going to get you starstruck, that or athletes or musicians? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Who? Who's the one that you haven't met you'd be like, uh-oh, I can't talk?

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"Howard Stern"

2918.57

Have you noticed the arrow in the FedEx logo?

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"Howard Stern"

2924.032

I don't know what that means.

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"Howard Stern"

2945.123

I didn't know that, but I put it together.

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"Howard Stern"

2949.888

We could do this all day long. This is going great. Speaking of... Now, wait. So, speaking of... What is happening?

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"Howard Stern"

2966.104

First of all, I don't think we've said it yet. I can't thank you enough for doing this. You don't do this. I've seen you do it for Letterman. I've seen you do it for Kimmel. You don't do this, and I can't thank you enough.

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"Howard Stern"

2999.125

Everybody knows you're recently 70. It's unbelievable.

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"Howard Stern"

3004.671

You have not changed.

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"Howard Stern"

3007.834

Beth, back me up here. Like, what are you guys doing? I know you're not out there, like, running 10 miles on the beach every day. Is it just jeans? I mean, you look exactly the same.

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"Howard Stern"

3019.802

No, no, Howard.

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"Howard Stern"

3028.853

No, I know. I can tell.

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"Howard Stern"

3031.316

This is it.

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"Howard Stern"

3035.74

But you don't have... You're supposed to have like a belly.

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"Howard Stern"

3040.385

You're supposed to... Everything's got to...

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"Howard Stern"

3049.127

You want to go turps off? You want to go turps off? No, no, no. But you don't look like you ache or you're sore. I can't fucking. I'm a mess. No, no.

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"Howard Stern"

3056.77

You seem like you're in great shape. Are you doing anything that we need to know about?

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"Howard Stern"

3066.253

It's incredible, the painting here. I don't know if you guys. Does people know? Okay. And the photography. It's like. Thank you. And the tiny sketching with the magnifying glass. I liked it.

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"Howard Stern"

3079.217

I saw your drafting thing.

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"Howard Stern"

3085.539

I mean, I'm not fucking crazy.

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"Howard Stern"

3128.389

So that's all in 10 years.

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"Howard Stern"

3148.923

Just two laughs for that.

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"Howard Stern"

3200.674

Are you playing classical guitar?

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"Howard Stern"

3230.361

Who's your favorite guitarist? Oh, Jesus. Just name one of them. A few of them.

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"Howard Stern"

3296.458

Was there a fork in the road where had you stuck with that instead of radio, you wouldn't have been that?

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"Howard Stern"

3303.982

So it was never like architecture or... I was five years old.

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"Howard Stern"

3402.876

Why do you think you're so well-adjusted? I'm not. I'm a mess. I'm still with the psychiatrist.

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"Howard Stern"

3422.172

Do you think, do you, well, but like, I don't think that people know, like, if there was one misconception of you, do you have any idea what that might be? I mean, I don't know, but I will say that for me personally, given... your edge of humor, it was really exciting to get to know you a little bit and see how incredibly soft and chewy you are on the inside.

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"Howard Stern"

3445.788

How incredibly sincere and genuine and attentive you are.

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"Howard Stern"

3456.532

I had a lot of anger. But there's a choice to, like, not be fucked up and just know how to manage that.

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"Howard Stern"

3488.624

You know, your observations were spot on. I was speaking my truth. But it was sometimes painful for folks, and that was the funny part.

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"Howard Stern"

3556.856

Can I tell you a Bradley Cooper story?

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"Howard Stern"

3647.206

How many times did you audition for private parts?

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"Howard Stern"

3730.862

At this time, was there a plan for you to play the part? And they wanted to actually go another direction?

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"Howard Stern"

377.294

Will, you have my phone number, right? Yeah. And my email address? Yeah, I got it all. I don't like clips of things. Do you know who this is? You're too grouchy. He sort of clued me into it. It's our smart list on Moose Boosh today, right?

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"Howard Stern"

3814.337

Yeah, we're done. We're out. We've taken up way too much of your time.

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"Howard Stern"

3828.189

Everybody take a nice break. We'll record in about 20 minutes. What do you mean?

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"Howard Stern"

3881.576

Here's what you can do. Let's get better than that. While you're being quiet and pretending that you're not here when we're doing... No, I'm not going to do it. If I have to be completely quiet, I'm not doing it.

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"Howard Stern"

3940.71

Howard Stern, keep it going. Keep it going. The one and the only. The king of all media. Radio, podcast, television, film.

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"Howard Stern"

3985.638

But he was also incredibly generous and empathetic and probably knows that we're nervous and we're dumb and we have a new show and he's the king.

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"Howard Stern"

3995.848

Tremendous amount of candor. Immediately he took the reins and helped us and he started talking.

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"Howard Stern"

4012.949

Any questions you didn't get to that we should listen to?

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"Howard Stern"

4041.115

So you can see his brain. And he tees himself up for it.

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"Howard Stern"

4046.082

But it's too early to do it now. We're still doing wrap-up. We're wrapped up. Okay, we're wrapped up.

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"Howard Stern"

4080.704

Jesus Christ.

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"Howard Stern"

4083.046

Sorry about that, guys. Sorry about that. But the interview was fun, was it not? It was really fun.

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"Howard Stern"

4094.052

Thank you, guys. And let's go enjoy some Jelly Roll.

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"Howard Stern"

456.618

Okay, you're yelling at me. I'm fucking nervous that you're gonna guess it and I'm gonna be all freaked out. This is coming out at your time, Howard. Five letters, was it five letters?

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"Howard Stern"

488.884

But if you get this, like, you're going to be in my life the rest of my life. That is what I do.

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"Howard Stern"

520.64

Yeah, like, why aren't you a trillionaire on Wall Street?

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"Howard Stern"

527.243

Will, you're wasting this at Stephen Talk House.

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"Howard Stern"

60.765

We're very excited to be doing, like, so we're going to do four live shows.

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"Howard Stern"

674.077

Ever. Yes!

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"Howard Stern"

68.25

Every year. You know, we're going to do the... We're open to less, Scott, but that's fine. We'll do the regular sort of podcast on the computer thing, right? What do you watch it or listen to it on? Whatever it is. And then we're going to do four live shows. This is our first one. Very excited about it. On top of that... We've got our white whale.

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"Howard Stern"

709.447

You've also made Howard the second guest. When's the last time you weren't the lead guest?

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"Howard Stern"

750.096

Since it started. You started it.

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"Howard Stern"

794.31

So we called it... What you did for it, though, because we had all sort of heard that satellite radio was coming, and I was a little circumspect.

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"Howard Stern"

807.62

You're Jason, right?

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"Howard Stern"

810.342

I was like, well, I don't know if I want satellite. I got to get a different radio. When you went to satellite, I was like, oh, it's okay now. It was like when Fincher went to Netflix.

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"Howard Stern"

88.313

People would ask me, who have you not interviewed that you want to? Howard Stern. Because he doesn't do this, and he's the man.