Jay Shetty

When I look at me and Radhi, I look at the fact that when we moved country, when I lost my jobs, when I was transitioning, when we're figuring stuff out, that's what proves to me that she's the one. Not the amazing wedding we had and not the amazing early dates we had. They don't now prove to me that we love each other. So I don't think you get to see that for a long time.

When I look at me and Radhi, I look at the fact that when we moved country, when I lost my jobs, when I was transitioning, when we're figuring stuff out, that's what proves to me that she's the one. Not the amazing wedding we had and not the amazing early dates we had. They don't now prove to me that we love each other. So I don't think you get to see that for a long time.

And it is that investment. And there was a study that I read that showed that to make someone an acquaintance, a casual acquaintance in your life, takes 40 hours. To consider someone a friend in your life, you have to spend 100 hours. And to consider someone a good friend in your life, you have to spend 200 hours. If you haven't spent 200 hours together yet, you really don't know this person.

And it is that investment. And there was a study that I read that showed that to make someone an acquaintance, a casual acquaintance in your life, takes 40 hours. To consider someone a friend in your life, you have to spend 100 hours. And to consider someone a good friend in your life, you have to spend 200 hours. If you haven't spent 200 hours together yet, you really don't know this person.

And I think that's why as adults it's so hard to find adult friends and why it's so hard to date because it's very unlikely that as an adult you have 200 hours to get to know someone. But that's true and I feel that resonates. When I think about anyone I feel knows me deeply and that I know deeply, I've spent 200 hours with them. In your first month of dating, what do you know about this person?

And I think that's why as adults it's so hard to find adult friends and why it's so hard to date because it's very unlikely that as an adult you have 200 hours to get to know someone. But that's true and I feel that resonates. When I think about anyone I feel knows me deeply and that I know deeply, I've spent 200 hours with them. In your first month of dating, what do you know about this person?

You don't know about their relationship with their parents. You don't know about their relationship with their siblings. You don't know about their relationship with their boss. You don't know about their relationship with you in any other circumstance apart from on this interview-like date. You actually know very little about this person.

You don't know about their relationship with their parents. You don't know about their relationship with their siblings. You don't know about their relationship with their boss. You don't know about their relationship with you in any other circumstance apart from on this interview-like date. You actually know very little about this person.

And so until you've actually lived life and experienced different facets of their life, let's not start building a life with someone that we don't know anything about their life.

And so until you've actually lived life and experienced different facets of their life, let's not start building a life with someone that we don't know anything about their life.

and I'm so glad you remembered that and it resonated with you. I'm not saying you're sitting there either judging them as well and going, wait a minute, are they trustworthy? It's not either or. And the reason I say that is because I think we give away trust too easily. If you've not seen someone in multiple moods, And when you're in multiple moods, how can you trust them?

and I'm so glad you remembered that and it resonated with you. I'm not saying you're sitting there either judging them as well and going, wait a minute, are they trustworthy? It's not either or. And the reason I say that is because I think we give away trust too easily. If you've not seen someone in multiple moods, And when you're in multiple moods, how can you trust them?

Because you don't know how they're going to respond to you being a certain way. So you can't trust them in that specific experience. And so your trust is very broad and overarching. And I think at one point, we just have to stop breaking our own heart because we don't fall in love with the person. We fall in love with who we expect them to be. We don't fall in love with the person that they are.

Because you don't know how they're going to respond to you being a certain way. So you can't trust them in that specific experience. And so your trust is very broad and overarching. And I think at one point, we just have to stop breaking our own heart because we don't fall in love with the person. We fall in love with who we expect them to be. We don't fall in love with the person that they are.

We fall in love with the potential that we see for them. We don't fall in love with the acts that they show us. We fall in love with the dreams that we hope they're gonna help us build. And so our constant reality is being lived in our head. And now you're not living in reality. You're living in your mind. And then that person doesn't live up to the picture in your mind.

We fall in love with the potential that we see for them. We don't fall in love with the acts that they show us. We fall in love with the dreams that we hope they're gonna help us build. And so our constant reality is being lived in our head. And now you're not living in reality. You're living in your mind. And then that person doesn't live up to the picture in your mind.

They're living in the real world and now they hurt you. And so we break our own hearts because we don't allow that person to earn our trust. We break our own hearts because we don't, let them prove themselves in different experiences and scenarios. And we break our own heart because we imagined who they were before they showed us they were.

They're living in the real world and now they hurt you. And so we break our own hearts because we don't allow that person to earn our trust. We break our own hearts because we don't, let them prove themselves in different experiences and scenarios. And we break our own heart because we imagined who they were before they showed us they were.

And so we're constantly, we're just constantly breaking our own hearts because You just don't know how someone's going to do something until you see them do it.

And so we're constantly, we're just constantly breaking our own hearts because You just don't know how someone's going to do something until you see them do it.