Jay Shetty

Yeah, it is a checklist. Because we all have a scorecard anyway, but we only mark ourselves on the scorecard. And it's all emotional as well. It's all emotional. And you never give the other person a point. So if you wash the dishes, right?

Yeah, it is a checklist. Because we all have a scorecard anyway, but we only mark ourselves on the scorecard. And it's all emotional as well. It's all emotional. And you never give the other person a point. So if you wash the dishes, right?

Exactly. It's like you're always counting everything you do right. That's what we do. We count everything we do right and we count everything our partner does wrong. You will never miss something that you got right and you will never miss something your partner got wrong. But what does that create? It creates distant disconnection and dissatisfaction.

Exactly. It's like you're always counting everything you do right. That's what we do. We count everything we do right and we count everything our partner does wrong. You will never miss something that you got right and you will never miss something your partner got wrong. But what does that create? It creates distant disconnection and dissatisfaction.

Whereas when you zoom out and you start counting every little thing your partner gets right and you start to notice the things you get right and wrong, all of a sudden you start to recognise we're probably more equal than we believe we are. And I think more people would win from that. I've gained so much from that exercise.

Whereas when you zoom out and you start counting every little thing your partner gets right and you start to notice the things you get right and wrong, all of a sudden you start to recognise we're probably more equal than we believe we are. And I think more people would win from that. I've gained so much from that exercise.

The difference between intuition and insecurity is insecurity is based on the past and intuition is based on the present. You don't want a bad past relationship to impact your notes on the relationship you're in today. But you wanna check it. So if you have an insecurity, you should check it. If you have an intuition, you should check it.

The difference between intuition and insecurity is insecurity is based on the past and intuition is based on the present. You don't want a bad past relationship to impact your notes on the relationship you're in today. But you wanna check it. So if you have an insecurity, you should check it. If you have an intuition, you should check it.

And I think the problem is we're trying to make decisions based on intuition or insecurity, when actually what we should be doing is asking questions. So there's two questions I believe that everyone should ask as early as possible in a relationship. The first is, how do you show love? That person may say to you, I show love by always showing up on time. I show love by always picking up the phone.

And I think the problem is we're trying to make decisions based on intuition or insecurity, when actually what we should be doing is asking questions. So there's two questions I believe that everyone should ask as early as possible in a relationship. The first is, how do you show love? That person may say to you, I show love by always showing up on time. I show love by always picking up the phone.

I show love by always responding to a text message. And all of a sudden you realize that you were just insecure about whether they loved you or not, because you were measuring whether they loved you based on how your ex loved you, rather than asking them how do they show love. Because you didn't see them turning up on time as love, you saw it as being timely.

I show love by always responding to a text message. And all of a sudden you realize that you were just insecure about whether they loved you or not, because you were measuring whether they loved you based on how your ex loved you, rather than asking them how do they show love. Because you didn't see them turning up on time as love, you saw it as being timely.

You didn't see them picking up the phone as love. You saw that as being available. You didn't see them as texting back as being love. You saw them as being responsive. But that was love through being available, responsive, because that's how they see love. And you should tell that person how you see love.

You didn't see them picking up the phone as love. You saw that as being available. You didn't see them as texting back as being love. You saw them as being responsive. But that was love through being available, responsive, because that's how they see love. And you should tell that person how you see love.

Now you take away insecurities because now I don't have to guess whether a text or a lack of one is love or not because the person's told me how they show love. And the second question is, What do you need when you're sad? What do you need when you're having a bad day? What would you like me to do? Because the truth is we're all guessing. It's where our intuition fails us sometimes.

Now you take away insecurities because now I don't have to guess whether a text or a lack of one is love or not because the person's told me how they show love. And the second question is, What do you need when you're sad? What do you need when you're having a bad day? What would you like me to do? Because the truth is we're all guessing. It's where our intuition fails us sometimes.

We're thinking, what do I need on a bad day? And we're trying to give it to that person. And what's really interesting is we think people love the way we do. And when they don't, we feel hurt. So we feel, well, if I was stuck or having a bad day, I know I'd want a hug. I know I'd want a really nice message. I know I'd want you to turn up. And so we do that to that person.

We're thinking, what do I need on a bad day? And we're trying to give it to that person. And what's really interesting is we think people love the way we do. And when they don't, we feel hurt. So we feel, well, if I was stuck or having a bad day, I know I'd want a hug. I know I'd want a really nice message. I know I'd want you to turn up. And so we do that to that person.

And that person goes, wait, wait, wait, this is too much. I didn't need this. And we think, oh, well, that person doesn't love me. They don't appreciate me. But actually we never checked in with them. And so to me, intuition and insecurity are all about checking. And these are my two favorite questions. That's so good.

And that person goes, wait, wait, wait, this is too much. I didn't need this. And we think, oh, well, that person doesn't love me. They don't appreciate me. But actually we never checked in with them. And so to me, intuition and insecurity are all about checking. And these are my two favorite questions. That's so good.