Ian Fidance

Hachi machi gang that back on the block tour is coming to a city near you so grab the entire squad and come on out and see the boys stand up comedy and then we play a little are you garbage with the crowd it's a good good time yeah we got atlantic city san francisco second show out at portland seattle bray california burlington vermont boston atlanta charlotte raleigh richmond baltimore philly rochester and toronto all tickets available to are you garbage.com do

Hachi machi gang that back on the block tour is coming to a city near you so grab the entire squad and come on out and see the boys stand up comedy and then we play a little are you garbage with the crowd it's a good good time yeah we got atlantic city san francisco second show out at portland seattle bray california burlington vermont boston atlanta charlotte raleigh richmond baltimore philly rochester and toronto all tickets available to are you garbage.com do

Hachi machi gang that back on the block tour is coming to a city near you so grab the entire squad and come on out and see the boys stand up comedy and then we play a little are you garbage with the crowd it's a good good time yeah we got atlantic city san francisco second show out at portland seattle bray california burlington vermont boston atlanta charlotte raleigh richmond baltimore philly rochester and toronto all tickets available to are you garbage.com do

No, they were just like, Gail, you're nervous. Drink. What was she nervous about? He was up there vomiting. Yeah, I'm up there.

No, they were just like, Gail, you're nervous. Drink. What was she nervous about? He was up there vomiting. Yeah, I'm up there.

No, they were just like, Gail, you're nervous. Drink. What was she nervous about? He was up there vomiting. Yeah, I'm up there.

It's the place where the DuPonts are from. Dude, dude. It's you and the guy that killed that wrestler. Which you may have been a part of.

It's the place where the DuPonts are from. Dude, dude. It's you and the guy that killed that wrestler. Which you may have been a part of.

It's the place where the DuPonts are from. Dude, dude. It's you and the guy that killed that wrestler. Which you may have been a part of.

Just behind the Minson brothers. How was that? Who's the Menson brothers? The Menendez? No, not the Menendez. Who's Menson? I made it up. Who is Menson? I was improv-ing. No way. Never again. Here's a suggestion.

Just behind the Minson brothers. How was that? Who's the Menson brothers? The Menendez? No, not the Menendez. Who's Menson? I made it up. Who is Menson? I was improv-ing. No way. Never again. Here's a suggestion.

Just behind the Minson brothers. How was that? Who's the Menson brothers? The Menendez? No, not the Menendez. Who's Menson? I made it up. Who is Menson? I was improv-ing. No way. Never again. Here's a suggestion.

Full video available over there on Spotify, part of the Creators Program. The greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. So I'll show you garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And how about a nice big shout out to our good pal back with us again today. He's family. He's absolute family. You can't get rid of me. The meds aren't working.

Full video available over there on Spotify, part of the Creators Program. The greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. So I'll show you garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And how about a nice big shout out to our good pal back with us again today. He's family. He's absolute family. You can't get rid of me. The meds aren't working.

Full video available over there on Spotify, part of the Creators Program. The greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. So I'll show you garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang. Yes, sir. And how about a nice big shout out to our good pal back with us again today. He's family. He's absolute family. You can't get rid of me. The meds aren't working.

That's insulting. I'm a heavy guy. Kimmy, let's talk about factor meals. Shout out to factor, factor, factor. Best in the business, those factor meals. Hey, gang, let's be honest. Summer's coming. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're going to have a big social schedule. You're going to be going here. You're going to be going there.

That's insulting. I'm a heavy guy. Kimmy, let's talk about factor meals. Shout out to factor, factor, factor. Best in the business, those factor meals. Hey, gang, let's be honest. Summer's coming. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're going to have a big social schedule. You're going to be going here. You're going to be going there.

That's insulting. I'm a heavy guy. Kimmy, let's talk about factor meals. Shout out to factor, factor, factor. Best in the business, those factor meals. Hey, gang, let's be honest. Summer's coming. Uh-huh. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're going to have a big social schedule. You're going to be going here. You're going to be going there.

You're not going to have time to cook, so do yourself a favor. Stay on the nutritional tip. Listen, I like them because they taste good. All right. I'm not selling nothing to you here.

You're not going to have time to cook, so do yourself a favor. Stay on the nutritional tip. Listen, I like them because they taste good. All right. I'm not selling nothing to you here.

You're not going to have time to cook, so do yourself a favor. Stay on the nutritional tip. Listen, I like them because they taste good. All right. I'm not selling nothing to you here.

Selling the flavor, baby. They just happen to be good for you.

Selling the flavor, baby. They just happen to be good for you.

Selling the flavor, baby. They just happen to be good for you.

Home run Factor meals. Two minutes. They're ready to go. Unbelievable recipes. Get on it. Yes. Factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast, on-the-go lunches, premium dinners, which I'm a big fan of, guilt-free snacks and desserts. We've been using it. I found Factor probably about five years ago when I was trying to just cut back. I eat a lot of pizza. I eat a lot of sandwiches.

Home run Factor meals. Two minutes. They're ready to go. Unbelievable recipes. Get on it. Yes. Factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast, on-the-go lunches, premium dinners, which I'm a big fan of, guilt-free snacks and desserts. We've been using it. I found Factor probably about five years ago when I was trying to just cut back. I eat a lot of pizza. I eat a lot of sandwiches.

Home run Factor meals. Two minutes. They're ready to go. Unbelievable recipes. Get on it. Yes. Factor powers your day with satisfying breakfast, on-the-go lunches, premium dinners, which I'm a big fan of, guilt-free snacks and desserts. We've been using it. I found Factor probably about five years ago when I was trying to just cut back. I eat a lot of pizza. I eat a lot of sandwiches.

Can I ask you something to break the fourth wall? Uh-huh. Have you had the breakfast? I don't think I have, buddy. Yeah. Talking about breakfast and dinner. How you doing? Guys, to get started, go to factormeals.com slash garbage50off. Oh, boy. And use code garbage50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

Can I ask you something to break the fourth wall? Uh-huh. Have you had the breakfast? I don't think I have, buddy. Yeah. Talking about breakfast and dinner. How you doing? Guys, to get started, go to factormeals.com slash garbage50off. Oh, boy. And use code garbage50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

Can I ask you something to break the fourth wall? Uh-huh. Have you had the breakfast? I don't think I have, buddy. Yeah. Talking about breakfast and dinner. How you doing? Guys, to get started, go to factormeals.com slash garbage50off. Oh, boy. And use code garbage50off to get 50% off plus free shipping on your first box.

Kit, what do you know about Brunt? Shout out to Brunt. Gang, choosing work boots used to either mean that you had to sacrifice comfort or durability.

Kit, what do you know about Brunt? Shout out to Brunt. Gang, choosing work boots used to either mean that you had to sacrifice comfort or durability.

Kit, what do you know about Brunt? Shout out to Brunt. Gang, choosing work boots used to either mean that you had to sacrifice comfort or durability.

If they felt good, they didn't hold up. Nope. And if they held up, they were uncomfortable. Yeah. Feet are killing you at the end of the day. Well, let me tell you something.

If they felt good, they didn't hold up. Nope. And if they held up, they were uncomfortable. Yeah. Feet are killing you at the end of the day. Well, let me tell you something.

If they felt good, they didn't hold up. Nope. And if they held up, they were uncomfortable. Yeah. Feet are killing you at the end of the day. Well, let me tell you something.

Yes. These might be the most comfortable work boots on the planet, but they'll also deliver real performance on the job site. And if you know you can't be showing up to a job site looking like a bozo, everybody's going to razz you. Not with Brunt. They were nice enough. I ordered a pair of Brunt. They came. We opened them. Holy heck, look at this. Ryan D. got on a Brunt. You got him.

Yes. These might be the most comfortable work boots on the planet, but they'll also deliver real performance on the job site. And if you know you can't be showing up to a job site looking like a bozo, everybody's going to razz you. Not with Brunt. They were nice enough. I ordered a pair of Brunt. They came. We opened them. Holy heck, look at this. Ryan D. got on a Brunt. You got him.

Yes. These might be the most comfortable work boots on the planet, but they'll also deliver real performance on the job site. And if you know you can't be showing up to a job site looking like a bozo, everybody's going to razz you. Not with Brunt. They were nice enough. I ordered a pair of Brunt. They came. We opened them. Holy heck, look at this. Ryan D. got on a Brunt. You got him.

Luke started ordering a Brunt. Luke's got him. Everybody's on a Brunt around here. Whether you need waterproof safety toe or soft toe, pull on or lace up, they've got you covered, the good folks over there at Brunt. Brunt isn't just about work boots. They offer a full range of high-performance gear built for tough jobs from heavy-duty work pants to weather-resistant jackets.

Luke started ordering a Brunt. Luke's got him. Everybody's on a Brunt around here. Whether you need waterproof safety toe or soft toe, pull on or lace up, they've got you covered, the good folks over there at Brunt. Brunt isn't just about work boots. They offer a full range of high-performance gear built for tough jobs from heavy-duty work pants to weather-resistant jackets.

Luke started ordering a Brunt. Luke's got him. Everybody's on a Brunt around here. Whether you need waterproof safety toe or soft toe, pull on or lace up, they've got you covered, the good folks over there at Brunt. Brunt isn't just about work boots. They offer a full range of high-performance gear built for tough jobs from heavy-duty work pants to weather-resistant jackets.

Brunt designs durable, reliable workwear to keep you protected and productive in any condition.

Brunt designs durable, reliable workwear to keep you protected and productive in any condition.

Brunt designs durable, reliable workwear to keep you protected and productive in any condition.

Brunt didn't just make adorable work boots. They reinvented comfort for the hardest workers out there. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt by using code garbage at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com. Use the code garbage, and you'll be all set. After the purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Tell them what a boy sent you. A-Y-G boys.

Brunt didn't just make adorable work boots. They reinvented comfort for the hardest workers out there. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt by using code garbage at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com. Use the code garbage, and you'll be all set. After the purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Tell them what a boy sent you. A-Y-G boys.

Brunt didn't just make adorable work boots. They reinvented comfort for the hardest workers out there. For a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt by using code garbage at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com. Use the code garbage, and you'll be all set. After the purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Tell them what a boy sent you. A-Y-G boys.

We love you, and thanks for supporting the show. Now, how'd you get up here? You take the train, the bus? Amtrak. Amtrak. Whoa, fancy. Mom dropped you off. Mom dropped you off. Said goodbye. Took the old Amtrak. You ride up in the front with the conductor? That works. No, but I missed. No, but I'm carrying all that luggage. Are you looking for a cowboy? Merch bag. I'm going through.

We love you, and thanks for supporting the show. Now, how'd you get up here? You take the train, the bus? Amtrak. Amtrak. Whoa, fancy. Mom dropped you off. Mom dropped you off. Said goodbye. Took the old Amtrak. You ride up in the front with the conductor? That works. No, but I missed. No, but I'm carrying all that luggage. Are you looking for a cowboy? Merch bag. I'm going through.

We love you, and thanks for supporting the show. Now, how'd you get up here? You take the train, the bus? Amtrak. Amtrak. Whoa, fancy. Mom dropped you off. Mom dropped you off. Said goodbye. Took the old Amtrak. You ride up in the front with the conductor? That works. No, but I missed. No, but I'm carrying all that luggage. Are you looking for a cowboy? Merch bag. I'm going through.

The luggage is insane. Hold on. Who has a neck pillow on a train? Huh? You have a neck pillow out there.

The luggage is insane. Hold on. Who has a neck pillow on a train? Huh? You have a neck pillow out there.

The luggage is insane. Hold on. Who has a neck pillow on a train? Huh? You have a neck pillow out there.

He just darted in from Penn Station. Yes. He has enough luggage for the weekend that he had. Yes. As if he was Zsa Zsa Gabor.

He just darted in from Penn Station. Yes. He has enough luggage for the weekend that he had. Yes. As if he was Zsa Zsa Gabor.

He just darted in from Penn Station. Yes. He has enough luggage for the weekend that he had. Yes. As if he was Zsa Zsa Gabor.

Okay, I apologize. Good. I didn't realize that you made a trip to L.A. Yes. So this was right before the breakup. You have to bring that up again. We were doing pretty well. I'm really going to go there, Henry. I'm not funny anymore.

Okay, I apologize. Good. I didn't realize that you made a trip to L.A. Yes. So this was right before the breakup. You have to bring that up again. We were doing pretty well. I'm really going to go there, Henry. I'm not funny anymore.

Okay, I apologize. Good. I didn't realize that you made a trip to L.A. Yes. So this was right before the breakup. You have to bring that up again. We were doing pretty well. I'm really going to go there, Henry. I'm not funny anymore.

I've got to get to you crying. How does that make you feel? He called you a punta.

I've got to get to you crying. How does that make you feel? He called you a punta.

I've got to get to you crying. How does that make you feel? He called you a punta.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

What do you have left? What's clean? I did laundry in Los Angeles, and I did some laundry at my mom's house, and I'm quite a sweater.

What do you have left? What's clean? I did laundry in Los Angeles, and I did some laundry at my mom's house, and I'm quite a sweater.

What do you have left? What's clean? I did laundry in Los Angeles, and I did some laundry at my mom's house, and I'm quite a sweater.

Is there a creek nearby? I brought my own stairs. I got a washboard.

Is there a creek nearby? I brought my own stairs. I got a washboard.

Is there a creek nearby? I brought my own stairs. I got a washboard.

All right. Yeah. How was Rochester? Good. It's a beautiful town. Comedy Carlson? Yeah. Love it.

All right. Yeah. How was Rochester? Good. It's a beautiful town. Comedy Carlson? Yeah. Love it.

All right. Yeah. How was Rochester? Good. It's a beautiful town. Comedy Carlson? Yeah. Love it.

Don't turn on the Discovery Channel anytime soon.

Don't turn on the Discovery Channel anytime soon.

Don't turn on the Discovery Channel anytime soon.

I think it's just Dirty Jobs.

I think it's just Dirty Jobs.

I think it's just Dirty Jobs.

What? But we're going to pass.

What? But we're going to pass.

What? But we're going to pass.

We're all booked up for the 2025 season. Dirty guy with dirty underwear.

We're all booked up for the 2025 season. Dirty guy with dirty underwear.

We're all booked up for the 2025 season. Dirty guy with dirty underwear.

Jackie Bam Bam's voice has the most Philadelphia. I'm Jackie Bam Bam. And he doesn't look anything like you think Jackie Bam Bam would look like. Give me this pitch again. I thought you were joking. What's the show? All the towns I go to, I do a job. To perform. Yes. When you headline. Yes. I've been on the road every weekend since December. That sounded demeaning for some. I didn't mean it.

Jackie Bam Bam's voice has the most Philadelphia. I'm Jackie Bam Bam. And he doesn't look anything like you think Jackie Bam Bam would look like. Give me this pitch again. I thought you were joking. What's the show? All the towns I go to, I do a job. To perform. Yes. When you headline. Yes. I've been on the road every weekend since December. That sounded demeaning for some. I didn't mean it.

Jackie Bam Bam's voice has the most Philadelphia. I'm Jackie Bam Bam. And he doesn't look anything like you think Jackie Bam Bam would look like. Give me this pitch again. I thought you were joking. What's the show? All the towns I go to, I do a job. To perform. Yes. When you headline. Yes. I've been on the road every weekend since December. That sounded demeaning for some. I didn't mean it.

Playing the big markets. Yes. Rochester, Delaware. Uh-huh. You look like you should be sold outside of a gas station.

Playing the big markets. Yes. Rochester, Delaware. Uh-huh. You look like you should be sold outside of a gas station.

Playing the big markets. Yes. Rochester, Delaware. Uh-huh. You look like you should be sold outside of a gas station.

I've been on the road. When you're out there doing your skit sketches.

I've been on the road. When you're out there doing your skit sketches.

I've been on the road. When you're out there doing your skit sketches.

That's like a weird fetish.

That's like a weird fetish.

That's like a weird fetish.

Nobody. It's all up here. Once... I get it to paper. It's animated. It's stop motion.

Nobody. It's all up here. Once... I get it to paper. It's animated. It's stop motion.

Nobody. It's all up here. Once... I get it to paper. It's animated. It's stop motion.

Yeah, of course. He's fantastic. So he'll open for me and then come and film these things. Very nice. And I'm having a blast, man. It's really, really fun. So you've cut hair. You played with robots. You tattooed somebody. Yes. You got your heart broken. I worked at a lobster shop. Look at you, a little pulling at the heartstrings.

Yeah, of course. He's fantastic. So he'll open for me and then come and film these things. Very nice. And I'm having a blast, man. It's really, really fun. So you've cut hair. You played with robots. You tattooed somebody. Yes. You got your heart broken. I worked at a lobster shop. Look at you, a little pulling at the heartstrings.

Yeah, of course. He's fantastic. So he'll open for me and then come and film these things. Very nice. And I'm having a blast, man. It's really, really fun. So you've cut hair. You played with robots. You tattooed somebody. Yes. You got your heart broken. I worked at a lobster shop. Look at you, a little pulling at the heartstrings.

You can fight it, ladies and gentlemen.

You can fight it, ladies and gentlemen.

You can fight it, ladies and gentlemen.

No, it's cake. I'm sorry. I'm being an ass.

No, it's cake. I'm sorry. I'm being an ass.

No, it's cake. I'm sorry. I'm being an ass.

It's better on film. Talk about Holly weird. Only in New York. You got a job out there and I'm in your town. Hit me up. I'll do it. Let's hang. I'm actually looking for a private eye. It's very fun. Yeah. Yeah. For what? Find my penis. Oh, my God. Dude, are you for real?

It's better on film. Talk about Holly weird. Only in New York. You got a job out there and I'm in your town. Hit me up. I'll do it. Let's hang. I'm actually looking for a private eye. It's very fun. Yeah. Yeah. For what? Find my penis. Oh, my God. Dude, are you for real?

It's better on film. Talk about Holly weird. Only in New York. You got a job out there and I'm in your town. Hit me up. I'll do it. Let's hang. I'm actually looking for a private eye. It's very fun. Yeah. Yeah. For what? Find my penis. Oh, my God. Dude, are you for real?

Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming to me. Thank you for having me, fellas.

Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming to me. Thank you for having me, fellas.

Hey, everybody. Thanks for coming to me. Thank you for having me, fellas.

That was wild. You hang your punchlines down there, too? What the fuck, Henry? Oh, my God. Keep your jokes in your ball bag. You know what the saddest thing is?

That was wild. You hang your punchlines down there, too? What the fuck, Henry? Oh, my God. Keep your jokes in your ball bag. You know what the saddest thing is?

That was wild. You hang your punchlines down there, too? What the fuck, Henry? Oh, my God. Keep your jokes in your ball bag. You know what the saddest thing is?

There's something very Bob Ross about you today, even more so. You have some good color or something. Did you go tanning? Thank you.

There's something very Bob Ross about you today, even more so. You have some good color or something. Did you go tanning? Thank you.

There's something very Bob Ross about you today, even more so. You have some good color or something. Did you go tanning? Thank you.

You're chasing dead money. The house always wins.

You're chasing dead money. The house always wins.

You're chasing dead money. The house always wins.

Put it all on green. Oh, God. Good God. You just want to pile scratch-offs statistically.

Put it all on green. Oh, God. Good God. You just want to pile scratch-offs statistically.

Put it all on green. Oh, God. Good God. You just want to pile scratch-offs statistically.

I wonder what that means. That's good luck. I always walk under piano's ladders. What's a piano? It's not his bad luck to walk under a piano. It wasn't the ones that fall on you, you dumbass. Cartoons.

I wonder what that means. That's good luck. I always walk under piano's ladders. What's a piano? It's not his bad luck to walk under a piano. It wasn't the ones that fall on you, you dumbass. Cartoons.

I wonder what that means. That's good luck. I always walk under piano's ladders. What's a piano? It's not his bad luck to walk under a piano. It wasn't the ones that fall on you, you dumbass. Cartoons.

That penis line was delivered like it was 1963. Dude, in the attic, can you do like my robot and make it go, my penis, my penis, my penis. He's rubbing off on everybody. Well, who are you going to try to find as a private eye? So people message me. I have an email address. You really are a comedian. Well, you are in showbiz. Luke, get me an email address, huh? This is bullshit. I got an email.

That penis line was delivered like it was 1963. Dude, in the attic, can you do like my robot and make it go, my penis, my penis, my penis. He's rubbing off on everybody. Well, who are you going to try to find as a private eye? So people message me. I have an email address. You really are a comedian. Well, you are in showbiz. Luke, get me an email address, huh? This is bullshit. I got an email.

That penis line was delivered like it was 1963. Dude, in the attic, can you do like my robot and make it go, my penis, my penis, my penis. He's rubbing off on everybody. Well, who are you going to try to find as a private eye? So people message me. I have an email address. You really are a comedian. Well, you are in showbiz. Luke, get me an email address, huh? This is bullshit. I got an email.

Wow.

Wow.

Wow.

Actually, you also explained it like I don't know what messages are. Somebody messaged me.

Actually, you also explained it like I don't know what messages are. Somebody messaged me.

Actually, you also explained it like I don't know what messages are. Somebody messaged me.

Now I have it. Soon everyone will stink. You only got 24 hours to live. You better get your spots in tonight after tomorrow. I'm going to go out and ruin comedy. I'm like Medusa. Don't look at me like that. You don't know who Medusa is. What does Medusa have to do with it? Turns people to stone. Plus I have snakes in my underwear. Give me a pair of sunglasses. I don't want to turn to rock.

Now I have it. Soon everyone will stink. You only got 24 hours to live. You better get your spots in tonight after tomorrow. I'm going to go out and ruin comedy. I'm like Medusa. Don't look at me like that. You don't know who Medusa is. What does Medusa have to do with it? Turns people to stone. Plus I have snakes in my underwear. Give me a pair of sunglasses. I don't want to turn to rock.

Now I have it. Soon everyone will stink. You only got 24 hours to live. You better get your spots in tonight after tomorrow. I'm going to go out and ruin comedy. I'm like Medusa. Don't look at me like that. You don't know who Medusa is. What does Medusa have to do with it? Turns people to stone. Plus I have snakes in my underwear. Give me a pair of sunglasses. I don't want to turn to rock.

What did you go to in Philly?

What did you go to in Philly?

What did you go to in Philly?

Just turn to baloney.

Just turn to baloney.

Just turn to baloney.

It's coming for us all. It's like the Evil Dead Necronomicon. Maybe bad is the new good, huh?

It's coming for us all. It's like the Evil Dead Necronomicon. Maybe bad is the new good, huh?

It's coming for us all. It's like the Evil Dead Necronomicon. Maybe bad is the new good, huh?

Lumpy. Chicks like it when your ears bleed. What? Mine are bleeding. Listen to you. Can I get a fucking protein bar or something? It ain't going to help, pal. Why don't you do a lap? Come back. Me and KJ got it.

Lumpy. Chicks like it when your ears bleed. What? Mine are bleeding. Listen to you. Can I get a fucking protein bar or something? It ain't going to help, pal. Why don't you do a lap? Come back. Me and KJ got it.

Lumpy. Chicks like it when your ears bleed. What? Mine are bleeding. Listen to you. Can I get a fucking protein bar or something? It ain't going to help, pal. Why don't you do a lap? Come back. Me and KJ got it.

Sun's shining. Power lines got you?

Sun's shining. Power lines got you?

Sun's shining. Power lines got you?

Shit. Now we all have it. Luke's the funniest guy in the room. Switch seats real quick, Luke. I'm hyperventilating. This is serious broadcasting, gentlemen. You were never a doctor for a day, were you?

Shit. Now we all have it. Luke's the funniest guy in the room. Switch seats real quick, Luke. I'm hyperventilating. This is serious broadcasting, gentlemen. You were never a doctor for a day, were you?

Shit. Now we all have it. Luke's the funniest guy in the room. Switch seats real quick, Luke. I'm hyperventilating. This is serious broadcasting, gentlemen. You were never a doctor for a day, were you?

What did you do in Philly? Any of the old haunts? Did you go around? Did you get any good food? What's a guy like you? You're headlining a nice weekend down there.

What did you do in Philly? Any of the old haunts? Did you go around? Did you get any good food? What's a guy like you? You're headlining a nice weekend down there.

What did you do in Philly? Any of the old haunts? Did you go around? Did you get any good food? What's a guy like you? You're headlining a nice weekend down there.

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

On air YouTube series.

On air YouTube series.

On air YouTube series.

Is it safe to say you don't have a distribution quite yet? Oh, I can't. That's going to be one of the jobs. You're going to put it on the air. Just waiting for a hot spot. Come on. That was okay. I didn't hear it. Where did we all see? Let's take it from the top and go. Do you got a new tootie? No. I said one of his jobs. He cast out on the tootie. The tootie was the funniest thing.

Is it safe to say you don't have a distribution quite yet? Oh, I can't. That's going to be one of the jobs. You're going to put it on the air. Just waiting for a hot spot. Come on. That was okay. I didn't hear it. Where did we all see? Let's take it from the top and go. Do you got a new tootie? No. I said one of his jobs. He cast out on the tootie. The tootie was the funniest thing.

Is it safe to say you don't have a distribution quite yet? Oh, I can't. That's going to be one of the jobs. You're going to put it on the air. Just waiting for a hot spot. Come on. That was okay. I didn't hear it. Where did we all see? Let's take it from the top and go. Do you got a new tootie? No. I said one of his jobs. He cast out on the tootie. The tootie was the funniest thing.

We started so high. I was saying one of your jobs could be. We heard you the first time. Oh, you did hear it? You did hear it? You stepped on it. That's what happened. I heard it the first time. I stepped on it the second time to save you and the program. No, you didn't hear what I said. What? Say it again. If I did, you'd be laughing.

We started so high. I was saying one of your jobs could be. We heard you the first time. Oh, you did hear it? You did hear it? You stepped on it. That's what happened. I heard it the first time. I stepped on it the second time to save you and the program. No, you didn't hear what I said. What? Say it again. If I did, you'd be laughing.

We started so high. I was saying one of your jobs could be. We heard you the first time. Oh, you did hear it? You did hear it? You stepped on it. That's what happened. I heard it the first time. I stepped on it the second time to save you and the program. No, you didn't hear what I said. What? Say it again. If I did, you'd be laughing.

Otherwise, I'm going to kill myself.

Otherwise, I'm going to kill myself.

Otherwise, I'm going to kill myself.

What'd you do? It was awesome. He's parking. Packed it out. Hey, we're big fans of packing it out. Packing it out. It's not sold out, but it's packed out.

What'd you do? It was awesome. He's parking. Packed it out. Hey, we're big fans of packing it out. Packing it out. It's not sold out, but it's packed out.

What'd you do? It was awesome. He's parking. Packed it out. Hey, we're big fans of packing it out. Packing it out. It's not sold out, but it's packed out.

Not on this show. So you're going to be a DJ, huh?

Not on this show. So you're going to be a DJ, huh?

Not on this show. So you're going to be a DJ, huh?

That's awesome. Yeah. Very cool. It's good.

That's awesome. Yeah. Very cool. It's good.

That's awesome. Yeah. Very cool. It's good.

And so now I have nothing for stand-up, so I'm starting fresh. Okay. Starting fresh. So get out there. Why don't you just, I guess, you can't just use that page? Well, it's for everything with the podcast. Sure. So I don't want to money that water, you know? Sure. I got you.

And so now I have nothing for stand-up, so I'm starting fresh. Okay. Starting fresh. So get out there. Why don't you just, I guess, you can't just use that page? Well, it's for everything with the podcast. Sure. So I don't want to money that water, you know? Sure. I got you.

And so now I have nothing for stand-up, so I'm starting fresh. Okay. Starting fresh. So get out there. Why don't you just, I guess, you can't just use that page? Well, it's for everything with the podcast. Sure. So I don't want to money that water, you know? Sure. I got you.

I'm just in awe. It's how bad I am. It's good to be back together.

I'm just in awe. It's how bad I am. It's good to be back together.

I'm just in awe. It's how bad I am. It's good to be back together.

He looked at me like, I remember when you used to be funny.

He looked at me like, I remember when you used to be funny.

He looked at me like, I remember when you used to be funny.

What?

What?

What?

Now that's comedy.

Now that's comedy.

Now that's comedy.

I think he's doing it on purpose. I thought he was doing it on purpose, and now I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I'm just real desperate. I'm just really swinging. I'm doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's the definition of insanity. Yeah, anybody would know you would.

I think he's doing it on purpose. I thought he was doing it on purpose, and now I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I'm just real desperate. I'm just really swinging. I'm doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's the definition of insanity. Yeah, anybody would know you would.

I think he's doing it on purpose. I thought he was doing it on purpose, and now I don't think he's doing it on purpose. I'm just real desperate. I'm just really swinging. I'm doing the same thing and expecting different results. That's the definition of insanity. Yeah, anybody would know you would.

That's something a crazy guy would say. Okay. What do you got? What? You throw it to me like that? Give me a heads up or something. In three, two, one. What do you got? Hey, everybody out there. Welcome back. Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you can have your question read on the air by Kevin Ryan. Because Foley can't read. This will be my last episode.

That's something a crazy guy would say. Okay. What do you got? What? You throw it to me like that? Give me a heads up or something. In three, two, one. What do you got? Hey, everybody out there. Welcome back. Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you can have your question read on the air by Kevin Ryan. Because Foley can't read. This will be my last episode.

That's something a crazy guy would say. Okay. What do you got? What? You throw it to me like that? Give me a heads up or something. In three, two, one. What do you got? Hey, everybody out there. Welcome back. Gang, as you know, when you sign up for the old Patreon, you can have your question read on the air by Kevin Ryan. Because Foley can't read. This will be my last episode.

Punchline. Close. Host, feature, and headliner. Me. Save a little money. You got more money. I'll bring myself up.

Punchline. Close. Host, feature, and headliner. Me. Save a little money. You got more money. I'll bring myself up.

Punchline. Close. Host, feature, and headliner. Me. Save a little money. You got more money. I'll bring myself up.

Somebody tell Tony I love her. Oh, man. What happened? When? It's like the last 25 minutes. It's like we got so funny that we became unfunny. We were going so hot and it was burning so hot that we flew too close to the sun. And now... Speak for yourself. I'm killing it.

Somebody tell Tony I love her. Oh, man. What happened? When? It's like the last 25 minutes. It's like we got so funny that we became unfunny. We were going so hot and it was burning so hot that we flew too close to the sun. And now... Speak for yourself. I'm killing it.

Somebody tell Tony I love her. Oh, man. What happened? When? It's like the last 25 minutes. It's like we got so funny that we became unfunny. We were going so hot and it was burning so hot that we flew too close to the sun. And now... Speak for yourself. I'm killing it.

And I'm not even doing that good of a job.

And I'm not even doing that good of a job.

And I'm not even doing that good of a job.

Yeah. I saw Ian in the village outside the cellar. He asked me for a cig or a light or something. I said, I quit. His genuine reaction was, what? Why?

Yeah. I saw Ian in the village outside the cellar. He asked me for a cig or a light or something. I said, I quit. His genuine reaction was, what? Why?

Yeah. I saw Ian in the village outside the cellar. He asked me for a cig or a light or something. I said, I quit. His genuine reaction was, what? Why?

I've had a couple. I have to make that public. Yeah? Yeah.

I've had a couple. I have to make that public. Yeah? Yeah.

I've had a couple. I have to make that public. Yeah? Yeah.

I mean, I would say I've quit. But you've had a few. I've had a couple. That's not quitting. Drunk chicks do that. They don't smoke. Are you a drunk chick? Can be. That's what you're into. I'll go home with you if that's what you're asking. I'll cancel my gig this weekend.

I mean, I would say I've quit. But you've had a few. I've had a couple. That's not quitting. Drunk chicks do that. They don't smoke. Are you a drunk chick? Can be. That's what you're into. I'll go home with you if that's what you're asking. I'll cancel my gig this weekend.

I mean, I would say I've quit. But you've had a few. I've had a couple. That's not quitting. Drunk chicks do that. They don't smoke. Are you a drunk chick? Can be. That's what you're into. I'll go home with you if that's what you're asking. I'll cancel my gig this weekend.

Did you really? No.

Did you really? No.

Did you really? No.

See you later, Charleston. Where are you this weekend? Charleston, South Carolina, Thursday, May 22nd.

See you later, Charleston. Where are you this weekend? Charleston, South Carolina, Thursday, May 22nd.

See you later, Charleston. Where are you this weekend? Charleston, South Carolina, Thursday, May 22nd.

Can I give you a heads up?

Can I give you a heads up?

Can I give you a heads up?

Have you ever been to Charleston? Never. Okay. Good kid. You want some comedy advice? Yeah.

Have you ever been to Charleston? Never. Okay. Good kid. You want some comedy advice? Yeah.

Have you ever been to Charleston? Never. Okay. Good kid. You want some comedy advice? Yeah.

Weird eye contact. And strange timing. That's how you get lamps. Yes, it is. No, I was going to say she crab soup. What? She crab soup. What is that? Are you speaking Chinese? You'll know when you see her. All right, I'm back. I got you. Huh?

Weird eye contact. And strange timing. That's how you get lamps. Yes, it is. No, I was going to say she crab soup. What? She crab soup. What is that? Are you speaking Chinese? You'll know when you see her. All right, I'm back. I got you. Huh?

Weird eye contact. And strange timing. That's how you get lamps. Yes, it is. No, I was going to say she crab soup. What? She crab soup. What is that? Are you speaking Chinese? You'll know when you see her. All right, I'm back. I got you. Huh?

The only guy to ask to pick up a waiting table station while he's working. Hey, guys, while the feature's up, I can do some food running. I just won 15% of all gratuity. You know I can park cars until about 30 minutes into the show, right?

The only guy to ask to pick up a waiting table station while he's working. Hey, guys, while the feature's up, I can do some food running. I just won 15% of all gratuity. You know I can park cars until about 30 minutes into the show, right?

The only guy to ask to pick up a waiting table station while he's working. Hey, guys, while the feature's up, I can do some food running. I just won 15% of all gratuity. You know I can park cars until about 30 minutes into the show, right?

You were laughing at that. I was laughing at that. Your timing was back.

You were laughing at that. I was laughing at that. Your timing was back.

You were laughing at that. I was laughing at that. Your timing was back.

For me.

For me.

For me.

I'll host, I'll feature, whatever.

I'll host, I'll feature, whatever.

I'll host, I'll feature, whatever.

It's delicious. All right. It's an unbelievable food scene in Charleston.

It's delicious. All right. It's an unbelievable food scene in Charleston.

It's delicious. All right. It's an unbelievable food scene in Charleston.

You go to Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. Now you're just making all this up.

You go to Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. Now you're just making all this up.

You go to Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. Now you're just making all this up.

You're going to love him.

You're going to love him.

You're going to love him.

Here's a couple. Listen. All right. Come on.

Here's a couple. Listen. All right. Come on.

Here's a couple. Listen. All right. Come on.

The place is Henry's. It's in the French Quarter. Okay. They do an awesome, awesome sheet crab soup. If you want to go to a real nice dinner, you go to- I'm only there for one day. Oh. And he looks like this. Are you going to have your tuxedo on you? I don't know where to buy fireworks or something. Midnight in the garden of good meals. You got to try He-Man lobster.

The place is Henry's. It's in the French Quarter. Okay. They do an awesome, awesome sheet crab soup. If you want to go to a real nice dinner, you go to- I'm only there for one day. Oh. And he looks like this. Are you going to have your tuxedo on you? I don't know where to buy fireworks or something. Midnight in the garden of good meals. You got to try He-Man lobster.

The place is Henry's. It's in the French Quarter. Okay. They do an awesome, awesome sheet crab soup. If you want to go to a real nice dinner, you go to- I'm only there for one day. Oh. And he looks like this. Are you going to have your tuxedo on you? I don't know where to buy fireworks or something. Midnight in the garden of good meals. You got to try He-Man lobster.

I was going to say, I was going to send you to Fig. Fig. Yeah, food is good. Yeah, it's for Henry. They're going to act like they don't know me. So are we. I'm going to put this out on Ian's channel. Starting fresh.

I was going to say, I was going to send you to Fig. Fig. Yeah, food is good. Yeah, it's for Henry. They're going to act like they don't know me. So are we. I'm going to put this out on Ian's channel. Starting fresh.

I was going to say, I was going to send you to Fig. Fig. Yeah, food is good. Yeah, it's for Henry. They're going to act like they don't know me. So are we. I'm going to put this out on Ian's channel. Starting fresh.

It's more of an infomercial. I'm going to strike that joke. Listen to me.

It's more of an infomercial. I'm going to strike that joke. Listen to me.

It's more of an infomercial. I'm going to strike that joke. Listen to me.

I am spiraling over here. I've lost all confidence somehow. Listen to me. If you're going to go to dinner. I know. It's another food wreck. Fig. It's really good. Fig. Yeah. In Charleston. Charleston. Charleston fig. Yes. Delicious. All right. Unbelievable. And Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. For the she crepes. Stop by Kippy's too. Go to Luke's. Go to Luke's. Real judgmental.

I am spiraling over here. I've lost all confidence somehow. Listen to me. If you're going to go to dinner. I know. It's another food wreck. Fig. It's really good. Fig. Yeah. In Charleston. Charleston. Charleston fig. Yes. Delicious. All right. Unbelievable. And Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. For the she crepes. Stop by Kippy's too. Go to Luke's. Go to Luke's. Real judgmental.

I am spiraling over here. I've lost all confidence somehow. Listen to me. If you're going to go to dinner. I know. It's another food wreck. Fig. It's really good. Fig. Yeah. In Charleston. Charleston. Charleston fig. Yes. Delicious. All right. Unbelievable. And Henry's. Henry's. Yeah. For the she crepes. Stop by Kippy's too. Go to Luke's. Go to Luke's. Real judgmental.

Listen, we normally don't break the fourth wall. We could be at three and a half minutes or five hours right now. I've lost all. I don't know where I am. Let's all guess at what minute we're at. I genuinely feel like we've always been here. We're three people that do this for a living for the last five years. What number do you think we're at?

Listen, we normally don't break the fourth wall. We could be at three and a half minutes or five hours right now. I've lost all. I don't know where I am. Let's all guess at what minute we're at. I genuinely feel like we've always been here. We're three people that do this for a living for the last five years. What number do you think we're at?

Listen, we normally don't break the fourth wall. We could be at three and a half minutes or five hours right now. I've lost all. I don't know where I am. Let's all guess at what minute we're at. I genuinely feel like we've always been here. We're three people that do this for a living for the last five years. What number do you think we're at?

I think we might have died when Ian came in, and we are now in the seventh ring of hell.

I think we might have died when Ian came in, and we are now in the seventh ring of hell.

I think we might have died when Ian came in, and we are now in the seventh ring of hell.

I'll say 48. It just says 666. 37 minutes.

I'll say 48. It just says 666. 37 minutes.

I'll say 48. It just says 666. 37 minutes.

Good God. Oh, man. What a fucking time warp, dude. Let's go to a highlight reel or something.

Good God. Oh, man. What a fucking time warp, dude. Let's go to a highlight reel or something.

Good God. Oh, man. What a fucking time warp, dude. Let's go to a highlight reel or something.

Just play There Will Be Blood or something like that.

Just play There Will Be Blood or something like that.

Just play There Will Be Blood or something like that.

I'm a vegetable oil man. Oh my God. What? Did I write that? Fuck. That's crazy. You should have said peanut oil. I don't know why. I'm a tallow man. I'm a grease man. I'm a beef tallow man. It's popular these days, beef tongue. I'm a mayonnaise man.

I'm a vegetable oil man. Oh my God. What? Did I write that? Fuck. That's crazy. You should have said peanut oil. I don't know why. I'm a tallow man. I'm a grease man. I'm a beef tallow man. It's popular these days, beef tongue. I'm a mayonnaise man.

I'm a vegetable oil man. Oh my God. What? Did I write that? Fuck. That's crazy. You should have said peanut oil. I don't know why. I'm a tallow man. I'm a grease man. I'm a beef tallow man. It's popular these days, beef tongue. I'm a mayonnaise man.

You guys are sign language in each other.

You guys are sign language in each other.

You guys are sign language in each other.

Thank you. What's wrong? What's the sign language for bombing?

Thank you. What's wrong? What's the sign language for bombing?

Thank you. What's wrong? What's the sign language for bombing?

Hey, game puts, will ya? Try the lady boy soup. I'd love to.

Hey, game puts, will ya? Try the lady boy soup. I'd love to.

Hey, game puts, will ya? Try the lady boy soup. I'd love to.

Tell the lady boy crabs out there, why don't you pinch me? That's IanFightant666. I'm on lady boy prep. Oh, boy. Going down with the ship, folks. I got a travel show. I'm on the road. That'll save us. Nothing else. Why don't we cut to a piece of that?

Tell the lady boy crabs out there, why don't you pinch me? That's IanFightant666. I'm on lady boy prep. Oh, boy. Going down with the ship, folks. I got a travel show. I'm on the road. That'll save us. Nothing else. Why don't we cut to a piece of that?

Tell the lady boy crabs out there, why don't you pinch me? That's IanFightant666. I'm on lady boy prep. Oh, boy. Going down with the ship, folks. I got a travel show. I'm on the road. That'll save us. Nothing else. Why don't we cut to a piece of that?

All right, Kevin. Wait, are we going to switch to questions? None of one of us has made a coherent sense. Do the weather. I don't give a shit what you do. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods. It's hot. And on that side of the fence, it's cold.

All right, Kevin. Wait, are we going to switch to questions? None of one of us has made a coherent sense. Do the weather. I don't give a shit what you do. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods. It's hot. And on that side of the fence, it's cold.

All right, Kevin. Wait, are we going to switch to questions? None of one of us has made a coherent sense. Do the weather. I don't give a shit what you do. Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods. It's hot. And on that side of the fence, it's cold.

This is what's going out on YouTube. We got a birthday or something coming up. We're going to see a fat chill coming in from the south. That's not it. It should have been a fat cold front. Because that ice, that mic is icy. Fuck. Fat cold sore.

This is what's going out on YouTube. We got a birthday or something coming up. We're going to see a fat chill coming in from the south. That's not it. It should have been a fat cold front. Because that ice, that mic is icy. Fuck. Fat cold sore.

This is what's going out on YouTube. We got a birthday or something coming up. We're going to see a fat chill coming in from the south. That's not it. It should have been a fat cold front. Because that ice, that mic is icy. Fuck. Fat cold sore.

I went to school with ice Mikey. What were you going to say? He's talking to me. It's an old black comic from Philly. Hey, the weather's done. Someone do the sports. I did. I got the neck of the woods laugh. We are building this joke by joke every two minutes. The Ian's lost today, 9-2. Whoa. And the Foley's went bankrupt.

I went to school with ice Mikey. What were you going to say? He's talking to me. It's an old black comic from Philly. Hey, the weather's done. Someone do the sports. I did. I got the neck of the woods laugh. We are building this joke by joke every two minutes. The Ian's lost today, 9-2. Whoa. And the Foley's went bankrupt.

I went to school with ice Mikey. What were you going to say? He's talking to me. It's an old black comic from Philly. Hey, the weather's done. Someone do the sports. I did. I got the neck of the woods laugh. We are building this joke by joke every two minutes. The Ian's lost today, 9-2. Whoa. And the Foley's went bankrupt.

Nine scoreless innings. Luke, sing a song. We're going to do karaoke.

Nine scoreless innings. Luke, sing a song. We're going to do karaoke.

Nine scoreless innings. Luke, sing a song. We're going to do karaoke.

Why do you think I have to comb? It says Red X on it. They're circus lice. Don't worry. I don't even get it.

Why do you think I have to comb? It says Red X on it. They're circus lice. Don't worry. I don't even get it.

Why do you think I have to comb? It says Red X on it. They're circus lice. Don't worry. I don't even get it.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

What is circus lice? Turn the lights down or something. You got a coat on. What's the matter with you? He's going insane. He doesn't feel the heat anymore. You know what's weird when you see a homeless guy wearing a winter coat in the summer? It's schizophrenia. They're always cold. Thanks for the lighter side of the news, gang.

What is circus lice? Turn the lights down or something. You got a coat on. What's the matter with you? He's going insane. He doesn't feel the heat anymore. You know what's weird when you see a homeless guy wearing a winter coat in the summer? It's schizophrenia. They're always cold. Thanks for the lighter side of the news, gang.

What is circus lice? Turn the lights down or something. You got a coat on. What's the matter with you? He's going insane. He doesn't feel the heat anymore. You know what's weird when you see a homeless guy wearing a winter coat in the summer? It's schizophrenia. They're always cold. Thanks for the lighter side of the news, gang.

What's the market at right now? I just checked my phone. I forgot we were on a show. I genuinely pulled out my phone and went through my alerts.

What's the market at right now? I just checked my phone. I forgot we were on a show. I genuinely pulled out my phone and went through my alerts.

What's the market at right now? I just checked my phone. I forgot we were on a show. I genuinely pulled out my phone and went through my alerts.

There's a Fox Philly Soul station? Yeah, it's Fox 29.

There's a Fox Philly Soul station? Yeah, it's Fox 29.

There's a Fox Philly Soul station? Yeah, it's Fox 29.

Rye, I need a cold water. And a couple of punchlines if you got them. You writing out there? Just come over here and knock me out. Just hit me right in the head. If you have a rock, you can smash it into my skull. Get that ball-peen hammer out.

Rye, I need a cold water. And a couple of punchlines if you got them. You writing out there? Just come over here and knock me out. Just hit me right in the head. If you have a rock, you can smash it into my skull. Get that ball-peen hammer out.

Rye, I need a cold water. And a couple of punchlines if you got them. You writing out there? Just come over here and knock me out. Just hit me right in the head. If you have a rock, you can smash it into my skull. Get that ball-peen hammer out.

I feel sweaty. Stinky. I am so sweaty. I feel gross.

I feel sweaty. Stinky. I am so sweaty. I feel gross.

I feel sweaty. Stinky. I am so sweaty. I feel gross.

It's always fun having you.

It's always fun having you.

It's always fun having you.

My nose is running and I'm sweating. Me too, man. It's like I had she-crab soup. I feel like we're going to be zombies by the end of this podcast. Yeah, I'm not making a film. You got too much luggage.

My nose is running and I'm sweating. Me too, man. It's like I had she-crab soup. I feel like we're going to be zombies by the end of this podcast. Yeah, I'm not making a film. You got too much luggage.

My nose is running and I'm sweating. Me too, man. It's like I had she-crab soup. I feel like we're going to be zombies by the end of this podcast. Yeah, I'm not making a film. You got too much luggage.

What? What? What's a luggage?

What? What? What's a luggage?

What? What? What's a luggage?

Beep, beep. Everybody back it out of there. What does too much luggage have to do with it? He said, I'm not going to make it home. I said, yeah, you got too much luggage. He thought it had to do something with whatever he was bombing with. Yeah, the zombies they made in the airport. They got all their luggage.

Beep, beep. Everybody back it out of there. What does too much luggage have to do with it? He said, I'm not going to make it home. I said, yeah, you got too much luggage. He thought it had to do something with whatever he was bombing with. Yeah, the zombies they made in the airport. They got all their luggage.

Beep, beep. Everybody back it out of there. What does too much luggage have to do with it? He said, I'm not going to make it home. I said, yeah, you got too much luggage. He thought it had to do something with whatever he was bombing with. Yeah, the zombies they made in the airport. They got all their luggage.

Oh, God, we lost Ian. You look over, he's turning.

Oh, God, we lost Ian. You look over, he's turning.

Oh, God, we lost Ian. You look over, he's turning.

Did your mom make anything when you were home? Did she cook anything? She made me pastina. What's that? Oh, did she? Yeah.

Did your mom make anything when you were home? Did she cook anything? She made me pastina. What's that? Oh, did she? Yeah.

Did your mom make anything when you were home? Did she cook anything? She made me pastina. What's that? Oh, did she? Yeah.

Now Ian Fidance with the weather. Man, there's plenty of shit in this motherfucker. Gee. Gonna be some wind.

Now Ian Fidance with the weather. Man, there's plenty of shit in this motherfucker. Gee. Gonna be some wind.

Now Ian Fidance with the weather. Man, there's plenty of shit in this motherfucker. Gee. Gonna be some wind.

And a little pastina for my little angel. With a side of cock ring, huh? Come on, that was funny. What? Look, if you don't name this, it's an episode positive for gay guys. Pastina is the little bitty pastas in, like, chicken soup. Yes. You forget you're Italian. Yeah. Or human. One. One.

And a little pastina for my little angel. With a side of cock ring, huh? Come on, that was funny. What? Look, if you don't name this, it's an episode positive for gay guys. Pastina is the little bitty pastas in, like, chicken soup. Yes. You forget you're Italian. Yeah. Or human. One. One.

And a little pastina for my little angel. With a side of cock ring, huh? Come on, that was funny. What? Look, if you don't name this, it's an episode positive for gay guys. Pastina is the little bitty pastas in, like, chicken soup. Yes. You forget you're Italian. Yeah. Or human. One. One.

Made it on the front step this morning. She made it on the front step? No, ate it. Why'd you eat it on the front step?

Made it on the front step this morning. She made it on the front step? No, ate it. Why'd you eat it on the front step?

Made it on the front step this morning. She made it on the front step? No, ate it. Why'd you eat it on the front step?

We were eating soup, drinking coffee, smoking it, doing scratch-offs on the front step. You don't have like a table out there? No. Right on a highway, right? Sit on the steps. No, we're in a neighborhood. What are you talking about? We live behind a highway. It backs up to an interstate. I pictured you guys living in a lumber yard or something like that. Aisle 9 Home Depot.

We were eating soup, drinking coffee, smoking it, doing scratch-offs on the front step. You don't have like a table out there? No. Right on a highway, right? Sit on the steps. No, we're in a neighborhood. What are you talking about? We live behind a highway. It backs up to an interstate. I pictured you guys living in a lumber yard or something like that. Aisle 9 Home Depot.

We were eating soup, drinking coffee, smoking it, doing scratch-offs on the front step. You don't have like a table out there? No. Right on a highway, right? Sit on the steps. No, we're in a neighborhood. What are you talking about? We live behind a highway. It backs up to an interstate. I pictured you guys living in a lumber yard or something like that. Aisle 9 Home Depot.

They're in the PVC fitting lot. They're sitting in a tent at Dick's. No, I was going to say, let's all be on the same side here. Well, yeah, we're all teammates. We got to listen. We're all on the same team. This plane's going down, and we all got to work together to get it back up in the air. Well, we got to put our oxygen on first before we can save anyone else. I didn't hate it. Thank you.

They're in the PVC fitting lot. They're sitting in a tent at Dick's. No, I was going to say, let's all be on the same side here. Well, yeah, we're all teammates. We got to listen. We're all on the same team. This plane's going down, and we all got to work together to get it back up in the air. Well, we got to put our oxygen on first before we can save anyone else. I didn't hate it. Thank you.

They're in the PVC fitting lot. They're sitting in a tent at Dick's. No, I was going to say, let's all be on the same side here. Well, yeah, we're all teammates. We got to listen. We're all on the same team. This plane's going down, and we all got to work together to get it back up in the air. Well, we got to put our oxygen on first before we can save anyone else. I didn't hate it. Thank you.

I'm about to bust out my shoe paints.

I'm about to bust out my shoe paints.

I'm about to bust out my shoe paints.

Piece of shit producer. you want to do a question yeah yeah let's do it so how you guys doing um all right this one's from what are you nuts how good is that that's the name of the episode uh this has to hire this man uh yous ever go to the wrong party I was at my brother's... I'm at it right now.

Piece of shit producer. you want to do a question yeah yeah let's do it so how you guys doing um all right this one's from what are you nuts how good is that that's the name of the episode uh this has to hire this man uh yous ever go to the wrong party I was at my brother's... I'm at it right now.

Piece of shit producer. you want to do a question yeah yeah let's do it so how you guys doing um all right this one's from what are you nuts how good is that that's the name of the episode uh this has to hire this man uh yous ever go to the wrong party I was at my brother's... I'm at it right now.

I apologize.

I apologize.

I apologize.

I was going to my brother's engagement party and saw a bunch of cars parked on the street and people outside, so I assumed this was the spot. I walked around the bit looking for my brother when I found out this party was a celebration of life. Turns out the engagement... Oh, shit, why does everybody look like somebody just died, huh? What the fuck? I know his sex life died, but hey.

I was going to my brother's engagement party and saw a bunch of cars parked on the street and people outside, so I assumed this was the spot. I walked around the bit looking for my brother when I found out this party was a celebration of life. Turns out the engagement... Oh, shit, why does everybody look like somebody just died, huh? What the fuck? I know his sex life died, but hey.

I was going to my brother's engagement party and saw a bunch of cars parked on the street and people outside, so I assumed this was the spot. I walked around the bit looking for my brother when I found out this party was a celebration of life. Turns out the engagement... Oh, shit, why does everybody look like somebody just died, huh? What the fuck? I know his sex life died, but hey.

The engagement party was a quarter mile down the road. That's a great one. So it was a funeral. Celebration of life. Yeah. We're bringing that back up. It's basically what the show is now.

The engagement party was a quarter mile down the road. That's a great one. So it was a funeral. Celebration of life. Yeah. We're bringing that back up. It's basically what the show is now.

The engagement party was a quarter mile down the road. That's a great one. So it was a funeral. Celebration of life. Yeah. We're bringing that back up. It's basically what the show is now.

We should all have quarters on our eyes. I had to pay the bridge man. Pay the bridge man. Pay the boat man. The boat man. They're removing my chains. Get across the river to unfunny town. Oh, buddy, you're the mayor.

We should all have quarters on our eyes. I had to pay the bridge man. Pay the bridge man. Pay the boat man. The boat man. They're removing my chains. Get across the river to unfunny town. Oh, buddy, you're the mayor.

We should all have quarters on our eyes. I had to pay the bridge man. Pay the bridge man. Pay the boat man. The boat man. They're removing my chains. Get across the river to unfunny town. Oh, buddy, you're the mayor.

Easy, Paisley.

Easy, Paisley.

Easy, Paisley.

This is weird. I think we might have all died. I honestly think that. Or I had a heart attack and I'm in hell alone. Sick. No, I'm right there with you, big guy. Fuck, my hell would be sitting next to Ian, and he smells like heaters, and I can't have one. The three of us just bombing. Smells like heaters, WD-40, and Stetson. And a little pastina. What's Stetson? There you go.

This is weird. I think we might have all died. I honestly think that. Or I had a heart attack and I'm in hell alone. Sick. No, I'm right there with you, big guy. Fuck, my hell would be sitting next to Ian, and he smells like heaters, and I can't have one. The three of us just bombing. Smells like heaters, WD-40, and Stetson. And a little pastina. What's Stetson? There you go.

This is weird. I think we might have all died. I honestly think that. Or I had a heart attack and I'm in hell alone. Sick. No, I'm right there with you, big guy. Fuck, my hell would be sitting next to Ian, and he smells like heaters, and I can't have one. The three of us just bombing. Smells like heaters, WD-40, and Stetson. And a little pastina. What's Stetson? There you go.

You know what Stetson is. Cologne? Mm-hmm.

You know what Stetson is. Cologne? Mm-hmm.

You know what Stetson is. Cologne? Mm-hmm.

Fucking played dumb with me. I thought you meant the Stetson hat. Think we need this shit now? We're in a goddamn foxhole. Get me some ammo. Stick your gun out the fucking front and start shooting.

Fucking played dumb with me. I thought you meant the Stetson hat. Think we need this shit now? We're in a goddamn foxhole. Get me some ammo. Stick your gun out the fucking front and start shooting.

Fucking played dumb with me. I thought you meant the Stetson hat. Think we need this shit now? We're in a goddamn foxhole. Get me some ammo. Stick your gun out the fucking front and start shooting.

You would have sucked the nom. Oh, my God. You would have had everything. The headband, the fucking shit on the helmet, smoking weed, dropping acid. First guy shot. Thinking I'm going to rip a weed out of a shotgun. I just blow my head off. Lieutenant. Hey, finance, how long you been here? It's his first day. He's all strung out. He's got all the gear on.

You would have sucked the nom. Oh, my God. You would have had everything. The headband, the fucking shit on the helmet, smoking weed, dropping acid. First guy shot. Thinking I'm going to rip a weed out of a shotgun. I just blow my head off. Lieutenant. Hey, finance, how long you been here? It's his first day. He's all strung out. He's got all the gear on.

You would have sucked the nom. Oh, my God. You would have had everything. The headband, the fucking shit on the helmet, smoking weed, dropping acid. First guy shot. Thinking I'm going to rip a weed out of a shotgun. I just blow my head off. Lieutenant. Hey, finance, how long you been here? It's his first day. He's all strung out. He's got all the gear on.

He's wearing a necklace out of people's teeth. Got these back at base. My dad's an orthodontist.

He's wearing a necklace out of people's teeth. Got these back at base. My dad's an orthodontist.

He's wearing a necklace out of people's teeth. Got these back at base. My dad's an orthodontist.

Man, we're going to take this right up to... This one's going to come right down to the wire, huh, gang?

Man, we're going to take this right up to... This one's going to come right down to the wire, huh, gang?

Man, we're going to take this right up to... This one's going to come right down to the wire, huh, gang?

Tattoos and turquoise jewelry?

Tattoos and turquoise jewelry?

Tattoos and turquoise jewelry?

Luke just texted me, we're at 50. Oh, wait, I mean 20. I almost fucking threw my... I almost threw the computer. Oh, God. I'm eating that sandwich in the fridge.

Luke just texted me, we're at 50. Oh, wait, I mean 20. I almost fucking threw my... I almost threw the computer. Oh, God. I'm eating that sandwich in the fridge.

Luke just texted me, we're at 50. Oh, wait, I mean 20. I almost fucking threw my... I almost threw the computer. Oh, God. I'm eating that sandwich in the fridge.

Huh? What kind of sandwich? Italian.

Huh? What kind of sandwich? Italian.

Huh? What kind of sandwich? Italian.

Shit. Cherokee.

Shit. Cherokee.

Shit. Cherokee.

Shit sandwich? Still Italian.

Shit sandwich? Still Italian.

Shit sandwich? Still Italian.

We apologize. I genuinely don't think I can laugh. I don't know what has happened.

We apologize. I genuinely don't think I can laugh. I don't know what has happened.

We apologize. I genuinely don't think I can laugh. I don't know what has happened.

I forgot. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. What? What is this, nuts? This one's from Dublin Dirtbag. Ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bicycle?

I forgot. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. What? What is this, nuts? This one's from Dublin Dirtbag. Ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bicycle?

I forgot. I don't even know what I'm trying to say. What? What is this, nuts? This one's from Dublin Dirtbag. Ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bicycle?

I'm gonna fucking come in here like a Seminole. We have to cut this, right?

I'm gonna fucking come in here like a Seminole. We have to cut this, right?

I'm gonna fucking come in here like a Seminole. We have to cut this, right?

You know. We fucking... We sat in the pocket. We're nailing it. We threw fucking punches. You know, we're doing great. This is fun. I can't believe you let me die with that bicycle thing.

You know. We fucking... We sat in the pocket. We're nailing it. We threw fucking punches. You know, we're doing great. This is fun. I can't believe you let me die with that bicycle thing.

You know. We fucking... We sat in the pocket. We're nailing it. We threw fucking punches. You know, we're doing great. This is fun. I can't believe you let me die with that bicycle thing.

Calling this one the Suicide Squad. That's really good. Fucking Al-Qaeda. Bunch of suicide bombers.

Calling this one the Suicide Squad. That's really good. Fucking Al-Qaeda. Bunch of suicide bombers.

Calling this one the Suicide Squad. That's really good. Fucking Al-Qaeda. Bunch of suicide bombers.

We got to take this Foley.

We got to take this Foley.

We got to take this Foley.

Say something, will you? I tried with the budget. You're paying for these. I can't breathe. I just forgot we were recording. I was thinking about that Bin Laden documentary.

Say something, will you? I tried with the budget. You're paying for these. I can't breathe. I just forgot we were recording. I was thinking about that Bin Laden documentary.

Say something, will you? I tried with the budget. You're paying for these. I can't breathe. I just forgot we were recording. I was thinking about that Bin Laden documentary.

You know, I mean, listen. What? That was fun.

You know, I mean, listen. What? That was fun.

You know, I mean, listen. What? That was fun.

I got to go. I got to be somewhere else. Stay. I got another podcast to do. I'm not supposed to be here. It's not my time. My whole life ahead of me. I feel like I'm in the Upside Down. We all forgot what we're doing. We're going to wake up covered in goo. Where's Millie Bobby Brown when you need her, huh?

I got to go. I got to be somewhere else. Stay. I got another podcast to do. I'm not supposed to be here. It's not my time. My whole life ahead of me. I feel like I'm in the Upside Down. We all forgot what we're doing. We're going to wake up covered in goo. Where's Millie Bobby Brown when you need her, huh?

I got to go. I got to be somewhere else. Stay. I got another podcast to do. I'm not supposed to be here. It's not my time. My whole life ahead of me. I feel like I'm in the Upside Down. We all forgot what we're doing. We're going to wake up covered in goo. Where's Millie Bobby Brown when you need her, huh?

Stop doing that. It's like from moving the belt holes. It's like the fucking Reaper is going to get me. Fucking telltale heart.

Stop doing that. It's like from moving the belt holes. It's like the fucking Reaper is going to get me. Fucking telltale heart.

Stop doing that. It's like from moving the belt holes. It's like the fucking Reaper is going to get me. Fucking telltale heart.

You bring the spice, I'll bring the flavor. Now, I heard you like to get a little freaky deaky. I heard you like to swing both ways. I have here that you swing both ways. You need a Lord. We would call that the DL. Just a regular black guy trying to figure you out. Our next guest is going straight to hell.

You bring the spice, I'll bring the flavor. Now, I heard you like to get a little freaky deaky. I heard you like to swing both ways. I have here that you swing both ways. You need a Lord. We would call that the DL. Just a regular black guy trying to figure you out. Our next guest is going straight to hell.

You bring the spice, I'll bring the flavor. Now, I heard you like to get a little freaky deaky. I heard you like to swing both ways. I have here that you swing both ways. You need a Lord. We would call that the DL. Just a regular black guy trying to figure you out. Our next guest is going straight to hell.

You guys ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bike? Let's wrap it up. I mean, listen, I don't know what you want from me. We're trying. We got our fucking asses handed to us. We went up there. We fucking all struck out. Hey, everybody out there.

You guys ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bike? Let's wrap it up. I mean, listen, I don't know what you want from me. We're trying. We got our fucking asses handed to us. We went up there. We fucking all struck out. Hey, everybody out there.

You guys ever pushed a bicycle while riding a bike? Let's wrap it up. I mean, listen, I don't know what you want from me. We're trying. We got our fucking asses handed to us. We went up there. We fucking all struck out. Hey, everybody out there.

What's that all about? And where can we find it?

What's that all about? And where can we find it?

What's that all about? And where can we find it?

It's so funny they can't laugh. IanFidance.com for all my dates. IanFidance666 at Gmail for all complaints. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Or maybe we won't. You might never see this episode. I don't know if we can release this. Right?

It's so funny they can't laugh. IanFidance.com for all my dates. IanFidance666 at Gmail for all complaints. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Or maybe we won't. You might never see this episode. I don't know if we can release this. Right?

It's so funny they can't laugh. IanFidance.com for all my dates. IanFidance666 at Gmail for all complaints. Gang, we love you. We'll see you next week. Or maybe we won't. You might never see this episode. I don't know if we can release this. Right?

Luke, tell me the lens caps are on.

Luke, tell me the lens caps are on.

Luke, tell me the lens caps are on.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

We'll see you next week. I'll be here. I won't.

We'll see you next week. I'll be here. I won't.

We'll see you next week. I'll be here. I won't.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

So the weekend was good. That was terrible. Weekend was good? Weekend was good.

So the weekend was good. That was terrible. Weekend was good? Weekend was good.

So the weekend was good. That was terrible. Weekend was good? Weekend was good.

Sounds boring as shit. What? The whole weekend sounds like it.

Sounds boring as shit. What? The whole weekend sounds like it.

Sounds boring as shit. What? The whole weekend sounds like it.

You ate a bunch of cheesesteaks, bombed on local TV. I crushed on local TV. Let me tell you. They made a clip.

You ate a bunch of cheesesteaks, bombed on local TV. I crushed on local TV. Let me tell you. They made a clip.

You ate a bunch of cheesesteaks, bombed on local TV. I crushed on local TV. Let me tell you. They made a clip.

Got broken up with in between shows. Now we get to it. Yep.

Got broken up with in between shows. Now we get to it. Yep.

Got broken up with in between shows. Now we get to it. Yep.

Was this the last? Let the mania begin. Didn't sleep much.

Was this the last? Let the mania begin. Didn't sleep much.

Was this the last? Let the mania begin. Didn't sleep much.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they have to be classy.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they have to be classy.

Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are You Garbage? It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find that they have to be classy.

Rethink this. Who's the we? Any other voices in your head? I thought I was at the comedy club. Turns out I was just on 12th and Orange. I'm sorry to hear that, man. Yeah, sorry. Was this a new thing? Was it fresh? It had been a while? We met like two months ago at a whirlwind week in L.A. You had just met the last one when we did your podcast. You had just met said person.

Rethink this. Who's the we? Any other voices in your head? I thought I was at the comedy club. Turns out I was just on 12th and Orange. I'm sorry to hear that, man. Yeah, sorry. Was this a new thing? Was it fresh? It had been a while? We met like two months ago at a whirlwind week in L.A. You had just met the last one when we did your podcast. You had just met said person.

Rethink this. Who's the we? Any other voices in your head? I thought I was at the comedy club. Turns out I was just on 12th and Orange. I'm sorry to hear that, man. Yeah, sorry. Was this a new thing? Was it fresh? It had been a while? We met like two months ago at a whirlwind week in L.A. You had just met the last one when we did your podcast. You had just met said person.

We were razzing you at the time for that.

We were razzing you at the time for that.

We were razzing you at the time for that.

So it was a long distance thing.

So it was a long distance thing.

So it was a long distance thing.

That apartment is grody. I got it cleaned. I saw your Fox Soul segment. And I've never been more in love.

That apartment is grody. I got it cleaned. I saw your Fox Soul segment. And I've never been more in love.

That apartment is grody. I got it cleaned. I saw your Fox Soul segment. And I've never been more in love.

And I was like, all right. They, like, threw me off. The hell do you even mean compatible?

And I was like, all right. They, like, threw me off. The hell do you even mean compatible?

And I was like, all right. They, like, threw me off. The hell do you even mean compatible?

Who live at my mom's. Broke up with me two days later. Hope you like cats.

Who live at my mom's. Broke up with me two days later. Hope you like cats.

Who live at my mom's. Broke up with me two days later. Hope you like cats.

It starts and ends with the rings.

It starts and ends with the rings.

It starts and ends with the rings.

That's too much silver.

That's too much silver.

That's too much silver.

What are you, hunting vampires? The rings are good because when they come off, it means business. My eyes go black like a wing of crow. Ian only fingers. Maybe that was something. Do you have anything in her place that you have to go back and get? Just a bunch of Minion stuff I gave her. Red flag number two. She told me she really loved the Minion rides at Universal. Hey, I told you.

What are you, hunting vampires? The rings are good because when they come off, it means business. My eyes go black like a wing of crow. Ian only fingers. Maybe that was something. Do you have anything in her place that you have to go back and get? Just a bunch of Minion stuff I gave her. Red flag number two. She told me she really loved the Minion rides at Universal. Hey, I told you.

What are you, hunting vampires? The rings are good because when they come off, it means business. My eyes go black like a wing of crow. Ian only fingers. Maybe that was something. Do you have anything in her place that you have to go back and get? Just a bunch of Minion stuff I gave her. Red flag number two. She told me she really loved the Minion rides at Universal. Hey, I told you.

Garbage. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's up on the roof, threatening to jump. Starting that bullshit early this year. I told her, jump. My coach is coming at you right next to me. A little too close.

Garbage. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's up on the roof, threatening to jump. Starting that bullshit early this year. I told her, jump. My coach is coming at you right next to me. A little too close.

Garbage. I'm your host, Dave Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition. She's up on the roof, threatening to jump. Starting that bullshit early this year. I told her, jump. My coach is coming at you right next to me. A little too close.

I've never seen the movie, okay? I said they're kind of cute. I stole her a bunch of Minion stuff and gave her one, and then the more I gave her, the more I had to be like, ah.

I've never seen the movie, okay? I said they're kind of cute. I stole her a bunch of Minion stuff and gave her one, and then the more I gave her, the more I had to be like, ah.

I've never seen the movie, okay? I said they're kind of cute. I stole her a bunch of Minion stuff and gave her one, and then the more I gave her, the more I had to be like, ah.

You and the minions all in the car driving across country. He's in the backseat.

You and the minions all in the car driving across country. He's in the backseat.

You and the minions all in the car driving across country. He's in the backseat.

He asked her to go steady. She said okay because she was afraid in the moment, and then he sent her a bunch of minions. And then a picture with a knife up to his throat. No, no, that was a joke. I didn't send it. Should I? It was a gun. We were bouncing bits. Yeah, it was just a bit. All right, well, I'm sorry to hear that, pal. No, it's totally fine. Well, look at this.

He asked her to go steady. She said okay because she was afraid in the moment, and then he sent her a bunch of minions. And then a picture with a knife up to his throat. No, no, that was a joke. I didn't send it. Should I? It was a gun. We were bouncing bits. Yeah, it was just a bit. All right, well, I'm sorry to hear that, pal. No, it's totally fine. Well, look at this.

He asked her to go steady. She said okay because she was afraid in the moment, and then he sent her a bunch of minions. And then a picture with a knife up to his throat. No, no, that was a joke. I didn't send it. Should I? It was a gun. We were bouncing bits. Yeah, it was just a bit. All right, well, I'm sorry to hear that, pal. No, it's totally fine. Well, look at this.

You got the whole summer ahead of you. Look at that. Freewheeling single Ian. It's the summer Ian. Look out. Yes. I'm on the road. No one's safe. Charles to South Carolina.

You got the whole summer ahead of you. Look at that. Freewheeling single Ian. It's the summer Ian. Look out. Yes. I'm on the road. No one's safe. Charles to South Carolina.

You got the whole summer ahead of you. Look at that. Freewheeling single Ian. It's the summer Ian. Look out. Yes. I'm on the road. No one's safe. Charles to South Carolina.

I don't know, but it ain't cable, baby. This guy's direct TV, huh? Hey, someone go up there and move this guy's dish.

I don't know, but it ain't cable, baby. This guy's direct TV, huh? Hey, someone go up there and move this guy's dish.

I don't know, but it ain't cable, baby. This guy's direct TV, huh? Hey, someone go up there and move this guy's dish.

The signal's coming in fuzzy. Ian, don't work when it's raining. It's all scrambled.

The signal's coming in fuzzy. Ian, don't work when it's raining. It's all scrambled.

The signal's coming in fuzzy. Ian, don't work when it's raining. It's all scrambled.

I don't like the rain. That's one thing you know about me. Bye, guys. I don't like the rain. I don't like the rain. I don't like wet socks. Henny, it's not happening. I don't like what? These high heels are brand new. Dude, actually, the guy.

I don't like the rain. That's one thing you know about me. Bye, guys. I don't like the rain. I don't like the rain. I don't like wet socks. Henny, it's not happening. I don't like what? These high heels are brand new. Dude, actually, the guy.

I don't like the rain. That's one thing you know about me. Bye, guys. I don't like the rain. I don't like the rain. I don't like wet socks. Henny, it's not happening. I don't like what? These high heels are brand new. Dude, actually, the guy.

What's going on there, kid? You just wiped your face off. You just wiped all your features down two inches.

What's going on there, kid? You just wiped your face off. You just wiped all your features down two inches.

What's going on there, kid? You just wiped your face off. You just wiped all your features down two inches.

Etch and sketch finance, everybody. Get near a magnet, your whole face disappears. Stop shaking.

Etch and sketch finance, everybody. Get near a magnet, your whole face disappears. Stop shaking.

Etch and sketch finance, everybody. Get near a magnet, your whole face disappears. Stop shaking.

Nice. Yeah, yeah. He yelled out Mangine at the end of my set. Was that your nickname on the job site? No, I used to do the Mangine and put on the homeowner's clothes.

Nice. Yeah, yeah. He yelled out Mangine at the end of my set. Was that your nickname on the job site? No, I used to do the Mangine and put on the homeowner's clothes.

Nice. Yeah, yeah. He yelled out Mangine at the end of my set. Was that your nickname on the job site? No, I used to do the Mangine and put on the homeowner's clothes.

That's not funny. So what do you have planned for the summer? I'm on the road every weekend, baby. There you go. Let's go. Look at that. All over. Single. Single. Doing your thing. Ready to mingle. Doing my thing.

That's not funny. So what do you have planned for the summer? I'm on the road every weekend, baby. There you go. Let's go. Look at that. All over. Single. Single. Doing your thing. Ready to mingle. Doing my thing.

That's not funny. So what do you have planned for the summer? I'm on the road every weekend, baby. There you go. Let's go. Look at that. All over. Single. Single. Doing your thing. Ready to mingle. Doing my thing.

A lot of cheesesteaks to eat. A lot of...

A lot of cheesesteaks to eat. A lot of...

A lot of cheesesteaks to eat. A lot of...

I eat bad in Philly, too. I eat bad everywhere. I always eat bad in Philly. Ladies and gentlemen, let's just end. Sorry. Late breaking news. I'm fat. Hey. Sorry.

I eat bad in Philly, too. I eat bad everywhere. I always eat bad in Philly. Ladies and gentlemen, let's just end. Sorry. Late breaking news. I'm fat. Hey. Sorry.

I eat bad in Philly, too. I eat bad everywhere. I always eat bad in Philly. Ladies and gentlemen, let's just end. Sorry. Late breaking news. I'm fat. Hey. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Let me just wipe my face off. It's weight challenge. You're challenged, all right.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Let me just wipe my face off. It's weight challenge. You're challenged, all right.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Let me just wipe my face off. It's weight challenge. You're challenged, all right.

We're trying to challenge you to hit a punchline. That I will not do. Just keep dumping ice on them.

We're trying to challenge you to hit a punchline. That I will not do. Just keep dumping ice on them.

We're trying to challenge you to hit a punchline. That I will not do. Just keep dumping ice on them.

I, too. Two red flags. We're even.

I, too. Two red flags. We're even.

I, too. Two red flags. We're even.

We all do.

We all do.

We all do.

I'm pretty good.

I'm pretty good.

I'm pretty good.

Okay, now you're on the bomb board. He's rubbing off on you. You mean the UN? Do me a favor, edit. Luke. How's your mom? She's doing well. She lost a lot of weight. We really had fun.

Okay, now you're on the bomb board. He's rubbing off on you. You mean the UN? Do me a favor, edit. Luke. How's your mom? She's doing well. She lost a lot of weight. We really had fun.

Okay, now you're on the bomb board. He's rubbing off on you. You mean the UN? Do me a favor, edit. Luke. How's your mom? She's doing well. She lost a lot of weight. We really had fun.

Sure.

Sure.

Sure.

Really?

Really?

Really?

Yeah, yeah. I feel like that would scare her.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like that would scare her.

Yeah, yeah. I feel like that would scare her.

She grew up with Ian. So we, yeah, she's seen it all. She gave birth to the scariest movie of all. Me. She's like, hey, can you turn it up? And his head spins around. She has watched the movie with you sitting on her shoulders like a parrot. Fuck. No, I really got it. I mean, Luke's not even a comic. He's like, this doesn't make sense. His fingers are on fire doing live editing right now.

She grew up with Ian. So we, yeah, she's seen it all. She gave birth to the scariest movie of all. Me. She's like, hey, can you turn it up? And his head spins around. She has watched the movie with you sitting on her shoulders like a parrot. Fuck. No, I really got it. I mean, Luke's not even a comic. He's like, this doesn't make sense. His fingers are on fire doing live editing right now.

She grew up with Ian. So we, yeah, she's seen it all. She gave birth to the scariest movie of all. Me. She's like, hey, can you turn it up? And his head spins around. She has watched the movie with you sitting on her shoulders like a parrot. Fuck. No, I really got it. I mean, Luke's not even a comic. He's like, this doesn't make sense. His fingers are on fire doing live editing right now.

Quick, dump the big man. He don't have it. Blame me in satellite dick. Shit just cuts to just me. All right, well, the big man is currently on the fritz. I got the ips. I really have a feeling I'm never going to say anything funny ever again. I swear to God. You're trying to throw an easy out the first. Some kid's getting donked in the outfield. Sidelines. Yips.

Quick, dump the big man. He don't have it. Blame me in satellite dick. Shit just cuts to just me. All right, well, the big man is currently on the fritz. I got the ips. I really have a feeling I'm never going to say anything funny ever again. I swear to God. You're trying to throw an easy out the first. Some kid's getting donked in the outfield. Sidelines. Yips.

Quick, dump the big man. He don't have it. Blame me in satellite dick. Shit just cuts to just me. All right, well, the big man is currently on the fritz. I got the ips. I really have a feeling I'm never going to say anything funny ever again. I swear to God. You're trying to throw an easy out the first. Some kid's getting donked in the outfield. Sidelines. Yips.

I'm like a catcher in the outfield. Fuck! Catcher in the end zone. Damn it, that was good. Can I have that? Shit. I swear to God, I feel like I'm done. Out in left field with a hockey stick. That's pretty good. I'm like a concession guy with no hot dogs. Because you ate them. Fuck!

I'm like a catcher in the outfield. Fuck! Catcher in the end zone. Damn it, that was good. Can I have that? Shit. I swear to God, I feel like I'm done. Out in left field with a hockey stick. That's pretty good. I'm like a concession guy with no hot dogs. Because you ate them. Fuck!

I'm like a catcher in the outfield. Fuck! Catcher in the end zone. Damn it, that was good. Can I have that? Shit. I swear to God, I feel like I'm done. Out in left field with a hockey stick. That's pretty good. I'm like a concession guy with no hot dogs. Because you ate them. Fuck!

Hey, buddy, lay off the beat, will you? Hey, you sweeping chimneys? He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you, as always. Thanks for tuning in. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.

Hey, buddy, lay off the beat, will you? Hey, you sweeping chimneys? He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you, as always. Thanks for tuning in. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.

Hey, buddy, lay off the beat, will you? Hey, you sweeping chimneys? He is the CEO of Are You Garbage? He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody. What up, gang? Shout out to you, as always. Thanks for tuning in. Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes. Full video available on YouTube.

All we got is apples and bananas left, gang. Like an astronaut who left his mask up. See? I'm done. You'll never work in this town again. Can I ask you this? Ask away.

All we got is apples and bananas left, gang. Like an astronaut who left his mask up. See? I'm done. You'll never work in this town again. Can I ask you this? Ask away.

All we got is apples and bananas left, gang. Like an astronaut who left his mask up. See? I'm done. You'll never work in this town again. Can I ask you this? Ask away.

It hurts in between my ears.

It hurts in between my ears.

It hurts in between my ears.

I'm asking you this respectfully. I'm not being dirty. Here we go. Just because you say your mom lost a little bit of, you know, lost some weight. Does she is she out there? Does she date? Does she?

I'm asking you this respectfully. I'm not being dirty. Here we go. Just because you say your mom lost a little bit of, you know, lost some weight. Does she is she out there? Does she date? Does she?

I'm asking you this respectfully. I'm not being dirty. Here we go. Just because you say your mom lost a little bit of, you know, lost some weight. Does she is she out there? Does she date? Does she?

Hmm. I'm trying to rack my brain right now in what... in what situations I've been in where a good goof would be to call me the shrimp King.

Hmm. I'm trying to rack my brain right now in what... in what situations I've been in where a good goof would be to call me the shrimp King.

Hmm. I'm trying to rack my brain right now in what... in what situations I've been in where a good goof would be to call me the shrimp King.

I love shrimp. And when I eat them, I am the king of shrimp. And I just had shrimp yesterday.

I love shrimp. And when I eat them, I am the king of shrimp. And I just had shrimp yesterday.

I love shrimp. And when I eat them, I am the king of shrimp. And I just had shrimp yesterday.

Honestly, I may have been in a shrimp blackout.

Honestly, I may have been in a shrimp blackout.

Honestly, I may have been in a shrimp blackout.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, everybody.

Hi, everybody.

I'll be on my throne.

I'll be on my throne.

I'll be on my throne.

The only way to navigate class in an upward way now is through looks and exploitation and showing whole. 100% disagree. You got to show hole to get ahead. Yeah, it's easier than ever before to show hole. You used to have to go to LA, hope you were going to show your tits in Playboy, and now it's like, hey, do you have an iPhone? It's crazy.

The only way to navigate class in an upward way now is through looks and exploitation and showing whole. 100% disagree. You got to show hole to get ahead. Yeah, it's easier than ever before to show hole. You used to have to go to LA, hope you were going to show your tits in Playboy, and now it's like, hey, do you have an iPhone? It's crazy.

The only way to navigate class in an upward way now is through looks and exploitation and showing whole. 100% disagree. You got to show hole to get ahead. Yeah, it's easier than ever before to show hole. You used to have to go to LA, hope you were going to show your tits in Playboy, and now it's like, hey, do you have an iPhone? It's crazy.

Why any of us could go on an OnlyFans and we'd make tons of, well, you guys are hot. Me and him, we're not doing it. Me and you are screwed. We got to use our brains.

Why any of us could go on an OnlyFans and we'd make tons of, well, you guys are hot. Me and him, we're not doing it. Me and you are screwed. We got to use our brains.

Why any of us could go on an OnlyFans and we'd make tons of, well, you guys are hot. Me and him, we're not doing it. Me and you are screwed. We got to use our brains.

Yeah, well, I'm more uglier than you.

Yeah, well, I'm more uglier than you.

Yeah, well, I'm more uglier than you.

Average-looking person? If you're attractive, you can move through society in a way that uggos can't. Like, if you're an influencer, if you're a hot guy, a hot girl, you can be born dirt poor, and then you can move classes and be accepted into upper society better than ugly people.

Average-looking person? If you're attractive, you can move through society in a way that uggos can't. Like, if you're an influencer, if you're a hot guy, a hot girl, you can be born dirt poor, and then you can move classes and be accepted into upper society better than ugly people.

Average-looking person? If you're attractive, you can move through society in a way that uggos can't. Like, if you're an influencer, if you're a hot guy, a hot girl, you can be born dirt poor, and then you can move classes and be accepted into upper society better than ugly people.

No, I mean, he navigated through life through lying, cheating, and stealing. And he's successful. Obama. Same thing. Obama was cooler when he smoked cigarettes. The world was a better place when we could smoke indoors and baseball players wore tight uniforms and basketball players wore short shorts.

No, I mean, he navigated through life through lying, cheating, and stealing. And he's successful. Obama. Same thing. Obama was cooler when he smoked cigarettes. The world was a better place when we could smoke indoors and baseball players wore tight uniforms and basketball players wore short shorts.

No, I mean, he navigated through life through lying, cheating, and stealing. And he's successful. Obama. Same thing. Obama was cooler when he smoked cigarettes. The world was a better place when we could smoke indoors and baseball players wore tight uniforms and basketball players wore short shorts.

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you.

These are nine and a half. Are these small feet?

These are nine and a half. Are these small feet?

These are nine and a half. Are these small feet?

These are men's feet. You look like you have club foot. You look like you have a medical condition. Let me see your foot. That's almost the same size.

These are men's feet. You look like you have club foot. You look like you have a medical condition. Let me see your foot. That's almost the same size.

These are men's feet. You look like you have club foot. You look like you have a medical condition. Let me see your foot. That's almost the same size.

And now with AI, you can get a prettier face and body and then make it look like those feet are attached to it.

And now with AI, you can get a prettier face and body and then make it look like those feet are attached to it.

And now with AI, you can get a prettier face and body and then make it look like those feet are attached to it.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I stand by what I said, but I do think there are better takes out there. And I really didn't think the show would take off the way it does. And I didn't know that I would be sharing my take about Hole with Tim Walls and Kamala Harris.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I stand by what I said, but I do think there are better takes out there. And I really didn't think the show would take off the way it does. And I didn't know that I would be sharing my take about Hole with Tim Walls and Kamala Harris.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me. I stand by what I said, but I do think there are better takes out there. And I really didn't think the show would take off the way it does. And I didn't know that I would be sharing my take about Hole with Tim Walls and Kamala Harris.