Francis
Appearances
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
welcome back to the base welcome back to the basement yard how's it going francis doing well ah co francisco don't don't do don't don't do that i don't like that i'm very i like my name so i want you to make sure it's proper francisco yeah does anyone call you that i don't think anyone calls you that uh No, my mom, like, you know, the typical, like, when my mom was mad at me.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Um, I would say knowing you, you're probably, I don't hate a three. I don't hate it. I three, not all the time.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I also see a 17. I was going to say 17. I told you. The only thing is... 10 is like you've been through and seen some stuff. 17 I do, but I think mostly I'm like a... Like a two. Two is pretty standard. I would imagine. What's your fall asleep side? Because everyone has one side that they fall asleep. I sleep on my right side. Okay. Or on my back. Oh, no.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So like 13? What is wrong with you? No, I don't wake up with my hands on my side, but I'll tell you this. When I go on trips and I usually share a room with Espo, he fucking sleeps like that. Like he's in a coffin.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. And I'm up. I don't know who sleeps like five except for toddlers. That looks like you got shot in the head. When you sleep, do you have an arm underneath the pillow? Yes. At all times? Yeah. Doesn't your arm fall asleep? Your arm never falls asleep. Sometimes it does, but not always. How do you get the blood back in your arm if it falls asleep? You just shake it? I shake it, and I watch.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
No, that was like the only two good songs on that album that I remember. Whoa, sorry, Cisco. I mean, oh. Yeah, he might be watching. Is Cisco still around? Of course he's around. Is his hair still silver? It's not. I think it's blonde. I love how we're looking at the TV as if Anne thinks we're not asking him subtly.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I look at it. You look at it. Bro, looking at your hand when it's asleep, my brain is just like, I know it's my hand, but I can't feel that it's there, so whose hand is this? Do you like it? I love it. A little bit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It's like moving up, like coming back to life. Jesus, you're horny.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And now you can what? Throw an old timey punch. What the hell was that?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I could sock it to you right now. It is weird to feel like I can't make a fist. I love whenever, seriously, like whenever my hand falls asleep, I look at it and I'm just like, what is this? You know what I mean? Like, I know it's my hand, but I guess just the way that my brain works, it just, it can't compute that it's mine.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know what you're talking about. I've had like my hands asleep and I bite my hand. Oh, I would just do a pinch. I don't bite it. I'm not a rabid animal. I do a little bite. Hard though? Wouldn't you be afraid? No. I remember when we were kids, we'd be at the lake house bringing up Espo. His brother, he would, I don't know how, because, oh, I remember how. He would always sit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
crisscross applesauce style and play video games and he would sit for so long that his one of his legs would fall asleep and i vividly remember this kid standing up and taking one of his legs and hitting the wall as hard as he could because his foot just had no feeling in it it was the craziest thing that is weird yeah it was pretty nuts but all right 10 b What did you fall asleep doing?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know. I have done that too. I do that only, but like it needs to be a pillow sandwich. It needs to be cold pillow sandwich. I need to be the meat in this pillow. Right. You know? I only do that if like it's very sunny in the room. I also... Do you sleep with a sleep mask? No. I might want to start doing that. Give it a shot.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I mean, I'm sure there are companies now that are going to see this and be like, we need Joe. We need him for sleeping. Would you do it? Yeah, but I don't feel a specific way about it. Do you wear pajamas? Pajamas? Sometimes. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. What are your pajamas? Um, it really depends. Like, I have, like, pajama pants. So you wear, like, Star Wars pants?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
See, you know, this is a way— I'm like, that's usually what pajama pants are. You're asking—this is a very leading presumptuous question. No, I'm asking. No, I don't have any Star Wars pajama pants. So what do they look like? I do have a pair of Ninja Turtles ones.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I do have a pair of... Why are you getting angry at me if this is what you... Because the way that you just assumed that I had them... Well, I asked you a question, and you're like, it depends. So I'm trying to get you to answer me. I have the classic pajama pants. It's like the plaid... Plaid. You know, plaid. And then I have a pair from White Family on Christmas.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Anytime Frankie has a question or says anything or goes like this, he's asking you later. I know, but also, it's only when we're looking up stuff. I just want to see a recent image of Cisco. Yeah, Cisco Systems, by the way, Wi-Fi, you fucking ruined an American staple. Hip-hop artist, Cisco.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Well, we have some of those around like Christmas and Halloween. We have like pajamas, like sets for the family. Do you have like a shirt? I don't sleep like a fucking, you know, like Archie Bunker.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know, with like a button up, you know, I don't like that's too much for me, but I have pajama pants. I also sleep. I don't know. Do you do this? How many pillows do you sleep with? And I'm not meaning like on your head. Two. Okay. How?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
uh so they're stacked but this doesn't hurt your neck brother oh yeah so that's the thing like i well if i'm like sleeping on my back yeah like not they're kind of stacked that way but then eventually i just have like a uh one of them is just by itself and i'm laying on that when i wake up okay so i sleep with a pillow here and then i i do a perpendicular pillow
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That I kind of like put my leg over and I grab sometimes. You put your leg around it? Oh, yeah. Do you and Becca sleep opposite ways?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I mean, she is like – pull that image up one more time. It's right there. She is a full-on like – she will sleep like – I'm trying to find it. Like eight. She is out. Jesus. She is out, brother. She like face down, out cold when she sleeps. Okay. Okay. I am a little more like, I like to like, I have like my whole setup. You like a little, you have a little.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I used to sleep with like a ton of pillows. I used to have a body pillow. Loved that. I have a, like a king size pillow that kind of has taken that place. Pillows come in sizes? Yeah, of course I do. What's a king size pillow? A longer pillow. Oh, it's like this? Yeah, because king-size beds... Oh, I see what you're saying. So, like, a standard pillow is like this. A king-size is like... Got it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know. You would put that between your legs. I put it between my legs and, like, so, like, I have something to, like, wrap around. You know? Cuddly little guy. Yeah. But, like, I fall... Like, Beck and I will fall asleep holding each other, but then, like, once we're asleep... It's, you know, time to sleep. We turn around and we do our thing, you know?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know? Like, I understand, like, I'll roll over and, like, I'll put my arm on Becca and, like, you know, like, something like that. But, like, the people that hold each other and fall asleep? I don't think anyone really does that besides those old people in Titanic who ended up dying. You know who those people were? No. Those were the Macy's people. Everything seemed to turn out fine for them.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Well, no, they died. Yeah, but they're... Yeah, but they were like... Have you heard about this?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
In the movie Titanic. That moment in the movie where it's like the old man is lying on the bed with his wife and they're crying as the water's filling up. Heartbreaking.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Get out. Get up. Get this shot. Try. Get up. Get out. The water is pouring into this room. You don't try? Yeah. I know it's like a noble thing. Noble. You're not the captain. Dude, I know. Well, that was crazy. But yeah, so that moment in the movie, it was the co-owners of Macy's were, yeah. Wow. Him and his wife Ida died on the ship when it sank in 1912, so that's what that was. Damn, Macy.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
If only they had seen what happens to their store. Right. There's a big one. I think that was the one, and then it built out from there. Wasn't it the original Macy's, the one in New York? Is that the big-ass one? I believe so. It's a massive one. Did they see... What was the first... Who gives a shit if it's the first one? Did they ever see the parade?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Bro, if they never saw their own parade, that's crazy. The Macy's Day Parade? Thanksgiving Day Parade. I mean, they just sponsor it. It's not like their parade. No, dude. It's their parade. So those are their... They blow those up? I don't know if they're blowing them up, but like they... It's their parade. Like, this is your studio, and I am my own individual. You don't own me, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
How'd you get there? Hip hop Cisco. You spelled Cisco like an idiot. First of all, also, that's not Cisco. Yeah, who the fuck is this guy? Is that Klay Thompson in the first picture? I don't know who that is.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
But, like, Citi Field isn't, like, Citi's Fields-like thing. That's an interchangeable thing that's, like, a sponsor. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's a good point. I think this is different, though. I'm very well versed in parades. Are ya? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Absolutely not. You don't want to be in the parade? You want to wake up at 2 a.m. and start walking? 2 a.m.? Bro, they start prepping that shit in the wee hours of the morn. We're not prep. Well, if you're going to be in the parade, how are you going to be in the parade? Perform? I just want to wave. You got to do that stuff. Like, you need to get there early, dude. No, not 2 a.m. Yes. No.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
rehearsing with the people blowing up the balloons. They might be. Honestly, they might be. They might be as insane. They might be. It doesn't even make sense to do that. Why? Because the parade isn't until 11. No, the parade starts at 8 a.m., Joey. Santa doesn't come until 12. He comes at the end because he's the big attraction. Exactly. But they... They have to do the whole thing.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Even if it's 8 a.m. You better stop. Six hours. You better cut it out. No, because now you're wrong. I know people... No, I know people that have done... Do you know parade people? Yes, I know people. Because you could volunteer. 8.30 a.m. Okay. I know... First of all, crazy. That's what they use to promote it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. I don't even know what that is. Don't tell them. I...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
don't tell him he really wants to know i know people so you can volunteer to be a person that holds the balloons that's so different than a performer if anything that's those people would need to be there later than the performers if wait volunteers are holding the balloons yeah yo that's crazy that's a big responsibility bro and they're big balloons bro what if you just as a crew let go of it you're probably just like yo just on the count of 10 10 way too many
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Just let it go. It's crazy. They're told by trucks. Trucks are driven by members of the union. But like the people that are walking, you can sign up to do it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
type in that's love and hip-hop s-i-s-q-o right i think so yeah i think there's a q in there yep yeah yeah cisco could have given me a thousand tries is that actually wait if that's actually cisco type in thong song cisco 2025 bro if that's cisco today why are you typing in love and hip-hop there he is that was like a hispanic man it looked like that was a that was a yeah
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So I think it's like trucks and then there are people that are literally holding a string and they're waving. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's more for show than anything. It's not like you could let it go.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I don't know the inner workings of the balloon management at the Thanksgiving Day Parade.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I mean, yeah. So I know people that have done it and they're like, oh, it's 3 a.m. I have to be on the west side of fucking...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
central park because they're blowing up all the balloons now yeah him and justin timberlake are over there he's warming up his vocals he's holding the string i think that you are vastly misguided yeah on what the uh the inner workings of a you know what the bases why don't we host next year What? The parade. How do you even host a parade?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think, well, normally it's, you know, like the Good Morning America or Good Day New York people. And they do like, and now coming down the street. Oh, wow. 26 years, 26 years of memories. Pikachu is now joined by his nice little friend, Eevee. Crazy, I just completely misgendered Pikachu. But like, that's who does, it's like Hoda, Codby, and the other lady. Hoda and Jenna?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
My mama loves them. Of course. They talked about us when we did the Pop-Tart thing, and my mama lost it. Yeah, remember one of them was just like, I like the unfrosted chocolate. Psychopathy. Psychopathy. Absolute insanity. Well, regardless, we do have sponsors right now. Oh, okay. Let's get to the first sponsors for today, the first one being SeatGeek. How you doing?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
All right, SeatGeek is where you're going to get all your tickets. You want to go to a Broadway play? You want to go to a basketball game? You want to go to a football game? You want to go to a hockey game? Any sports game? You get where I'm going with this? You can get it through SeatGeek, okay? I've been using them for years. I love their...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
interface i should say you go onto their app and you can see tickets they are color coded so if they're dark green that means it's a really good ticket if it's dark red probably stay away from that you're paying a little too much for your ticket there so i like that there's that transparency there um you can go download seakeek right now we're gonna save you some money on your next batch of tickets okay
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Uh, go to SeatGeek, um, download the, download the app and use the code basement 2025 for 10% off of your next set of tickets with SeatGeek. Okay. That is 10% off any tickets with the promo code basement 2025. So if you want to go to something really nice, you want to take your friends to it, you could save yourself 10%. Don't forget that code is basement 2025.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So go download the app or go to the website, whatever it is, use the check, uh, the code at checkout, uh, basement 2025. Okay. And this podcast is also sponsored by BetterHelp. BetterHelp is online therapy. It's customizable. You can talk to a therapist once a week or once every other week or once a month or whatever it is. You can do so with BetterHelp.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
They have licensed therapists all over their app. 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. You can find the right fit for you. They make it very easy to switch from therapist to therapist so that you know you're finding the right fit, which is important. And I think that everyone should be in therapy. It's something that I've been doing for years now.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think that it's extremely helpful. And, yeah, so go check it out. If you want to dive into the world of therapy, you can do so with BetterHelp. BetterHelp.com slash BasementYard. Today you will save 10% off your first month. All right? BetterHelp.com slash BasementYard. That is 10% off your first month when you use that code. So get to it, folks. BetterHelp.com slash BasementYard. 10% off.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You're welcome. And whatever journey you're on, let us come along that journey with you. And how do you do that? Well, patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. We thank all of our people that have loved and supported us and continue to push us to be better versions of ourselves. Right, Dad? That have brought us to where we are today. And in addition, we want to thank our patrons.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Think that's Francisco Cisco thong song but type in 2025 Cisco like that 2025 Cisco thong song 2025 Do we have what is gonna find it? Oh, that's a maybe he's off the map.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Over at patreon.com slash TheBasementYard. If you sign up for that first tier, you get weekly episodes one week in advance. And then that second tier, you get exclusive, triple exclusive, if Joe's on it, episodes. I'm kidding. Maybe we'll get ants feet on there. You never know. Every single Friday at 7 a.m. So you can start and end your week with The Basement Yard.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We thank you guys so much for supporting us. We are really having some really cool opportunities because of everyone. Not just our patrons, but Patreon is a way to support us directly. So again, patreon.com slash The Basement Yard. And folks, for any of our friends that are coming to... First of all, we got back from Vancouver. Had an awesome time. Penn State, you guys were really great.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We had some really, really, really cool times so far this year at those shows. And we're getting ready for those Europe shows, okay? So Scotland, London, Ireland, we're coming for you, okay? And if you're coming to any of those shows, go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. There's a portion of the shows that we like to be interactive. We talk with you guys.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So if you go to that link, you tell us what show you're coming to, you answer some questions. There are some prompts on there. You answer some of them, and then maybe if they're fun or interesting or whatever, we'll pull them out. We'll talk to you about you, whatever. If you want to be kept anonymous, that's fine too. Or you can just not do it if you don't feel comfortable.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So go check it out at the basement yard.com slash submit, uh, those shows that are there. We added a third London show. That's it. Those are the shows that we're doing over in Europe. Uh, so, uh, go check it out. If you haven't gotten those tickets that they're London show, try to grab them, snag them before they go away. All right. We're really excited to see you guys.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And, um, yeah, let's, let's rock and roll baby.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I wanted to check in on you because, well, you had your dream where it sounds like something that you wanted to say, get off your chest. Um, but you can't again, save space. You can tell me and talk to me about anything. I did want to check in with you and ask if you're okay though, because I know this has been a pretty tough time. What's the joke? There's no joke, dude.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know you openly speak about how just from top to bottom, experience the moment you walk in and out, Hooters has been one of your favorite establishments ever. And that's the joke? First of all, you've been in Hooters way more times than I have. I just, I'm, well, first of all, yes.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
This is wait teams up with the New York Philharmonic Real they can't be real. I don't even know. What is that the Philharmonic? it's like a like a group of like a Harmonica? No, but they're like legit musicians. You've never heard of the Philharmonic? Whoa, dude. You ever hear Cisco hit those notes? I know.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yes. Yes. Hooters! Hooters! Oh, no, I'm not doing it. You love Hooters. First of all, love is a strong word. You're one of those guys who walks into it, you're like, give me the atomic ones. Yeah, I was. Absolutely, I was. I mean, hot sauce is hot sauce, bitch. You get hot sauce wherever you go. You were trying to impress the Hooter girls. You think, hold on. Yes.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I'm going to withdraw what I was going to say. That's why you wore your finest XXL football t-shirt. I could understand. Football t-shirt. Yeah, you're an idiot. Kick me in the front teeth. Hard to miss. You're running with this thing. I don't know why. You have great teeth. Can I say? That's crazy. Can we say something? I didn't even know they served shrimp at Hooters.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
If anyone has ever gotten anything other than chicken wings at Hooters.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
crazy right shrimp what i i don't think i've ever gotten anything other than chicken wings like forget about even burgers like it's crazy to me who goes to hooters and it's just like let me get a burger yeah no you gotta get the wings um well right now it doesn't look like you're gonna be able to get anything because i wanted to check in because apparently they filed for bankruptcy are you okay i'm good what does what does i just realized that the o's are owl eyes
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, I was going to say they look like boobs. Oh, well, maybe that too, but also they're the eyes of the owl. Right. No, that I knew. The Hooters mascot is not the women being objectified for your money. It's an owl, brother. No, no, no. That's of course what they're doing. Yeah, we know that. Do you remember when we were younger, it was like, oh, no, it's fine.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Good for you. That's right. They were just like, we're now allowing anyone to apply.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Massive tits, big tits, just like regular tits.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Also, I think at a time, didn't they, and this is funny that I know this, but like, I think that they like, it was the women that worked there wore short shorts. Yeah. And then they added like leggings to it. Oh, like brown leggings. Well, like, yeah, they were like nude, like nude colored leggings or something.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I mean, I don't know that I've been there and it was like raw leg. I'm sure we have at the time. I think in 2008 they were that progressive where they were just like, you know what, ladies? Put some like Hooters is going to throw you a bone here. Yeah. I mean, I don't want to speak ill of the establishment Hooters. We don't know. It's because you love it. No, no. You love Hooters. I'm just saying.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We are so far one for one with successfully reviving a popular restaurant chain in the United States. One for one for taking credit, for sure. I mean, if it's the American way, that's the way I'm going to do it. That's taking credit for something you talk about once on a podcast. What does bankruptcy really mean?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It means they start liquidating their assets and figuring out ways to stop losing as much money as they are spending.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know. So there's different types. There's different like filing. There's different chapters, I believe. I remember looking this up when I was looking up.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Chapter 11 is just like we are not like going away completely, but like we're going to start restructuring. Can't pay all our bills. Well, bro, look at Red Lobster. They're doing well. They're kind of a success story thanks to us.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
not their new CEO not that yeah not the progressive new CEO that's like trying to find ways to like so chapter 7 discharge in chapter 7 releases debt debtors from their personal debts whatever what's 11 why do they not have the most coolest type 11 oh it's a repayment plan so a 7 is is like wait yeah yeah I don't know whatever dude bankruptcy yeah so do we do we commit to helping Hooters or like you'd love that
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It's not even spicy. Listen, my time at Hooters is long gone. I haven't been to one since like 2016. That's not that long ago. I mean, maybe, honestly, probably before that. Maybe like 2014. Now that we laughed.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Uh, I've been several times and I think I've told this because my fraternity used to do an event at Hooters. Right. It was all you can eat wings. And it was like, you thinking of rushing? Come hang out with a bunch of guys eating wings, eating at Hooters. Did you go to like ever? Like, I guess that's a stupid question. Was it ever like a hangout spot? Like, did they have TVs?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think they did, yeah. I don't remember it's possible I have. Just being like, yo, bros, what are we doing tonight? You want to go crush some wings at Hooters and watch the game? If you had to go eat wings somewhere, where would it be? You're going to make fun of me for this, potentially. You've never been. Buffalo Wild Wings. A lot of people talk shit about their wings, myself included.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Their wings are, like, not the worst I've ever had in my entire life. And you're a flat or a drum? I prefer a flat over a drum. Yeah. You know? Me too. It's just... Buffalo wall wings and, like... It's not awful. Like, it's not the worst wings I've ever had in my entire life. They're usually very big places, right? Buffalo Wild Wings? Well, yeah, because they do what it's like.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Is that Cisco? Frank, this is also an audio show. I think we should ditch the Cisco for now. All right, all right, all right. I mean, wherever Cisco may be, I hope... In a good place. He's doing well, and I hope he is surrounded by... He's performing with the full harmonic. Right. You know? You loved that, though. Who didn't? Don't sleep on Cisco. I'm not sleeping on Cisco.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know, it's like bro culture. It's like, there's wings, there's beard, there's sports. We don't have the tits like hooters, but come on in anyways. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know what gets me every time? Tits? No. Well, but a beer tower. I am a slut for a beer tower. Dude, if you put beer in a giant cylindrical shape. It doesn't matter how much it costs. I'm finishing it. This is a challenge. Yeah, I wrote there was like that that it was like 2012 to like 2015. Every place was just like we had beer towers now. Got me. I was in. I'm in there. I was super in.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I didn't hate them. I haven't been to a place that's offered a beer tower since I think you were with me when we were in Vegas and got it. Were you there? Yes, I was. Yeah, when we went to the pizza place. The pizza place. We got like, and they were like 30 bucks. It was like, you can get a beer for eight bucks or you can get 10 for 30.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Fill it with like champagne dude. That's genius. That's to get a centerpiece Champagne towers. I like this. I like this. I'm gonna get married all over again. Let's get champagne Where we were supposed to get married they had built into the walls they had beer taps Mmm, that sounds pretty cool, too I will say this is cool. When you can see your beer. Yeah. I like beer that I can see.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I like when it's like labeled. It's like at the top. It's like, oh, you're kind of fucked up.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That's not what I meant to say. We had like we had my brothers had that mug from like Spencer's and it was like a giant mug that held like eight beers Or no, no, maybe like four beers and it was just like I know you're gonna tell we'll get to that soon and the first one was just like You're a novice Keep drinking! Whoa, look at the dress on you!
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Really, just really being fucked up to people that decide they want to wear dresses from other genders. Genders are so, it's all over the place! And then the last one was just like, sorry drunk, I'm not an officer, or something like that. Dude, there was... Just go ahead. Go ahead. Maybe two summers. Two? Four? Four? I don't know how many.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You loved gadgets. I had a lot. It was a thing. For birthday, my sister would get me a beer gadget. I had a ton of them. You had so many gadgets. Inspector Gadget. I had the hat with the two straws that came out. In concept, a great idea. In execution, piss poor because then I had to like... Like, I couldn't, like, I had to turn around very slow. Just keep a drink out of a boot all night.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
No, I'm saying, like, everyone liked the thong song. It was a very popular song. I feel like you liked it a little bit more. Like, you were like, yo, I love thongs. Well, I think I felt cool because I watched the, like, making. Remember when MTV was about music and it used to do, like, the making of the video?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And so I saw Beer Fest, and I was like, this is my whole personality. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is the coolest thing I've ever seen. So someone, I don't even remember, and I know my, I really pray that my father, I don't know why I pray that he still has it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Please tell me daddy has my boot. Anything, anything, I'll do anything for my glass beer drinker. What? Yeah, but it held three cans of beer, and it was legit. Like, the whole turn it thing was legit. Because if not, the bubble would fucking smack you in the face. Dude, just insane. Insane. It was crazy. You wanted me to get started? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We lived in the prime time of Spencer's Gifts drinking paraphernalia. We had the Bongzilla. The beer pong table that lasted forever. We had the beer pong table that not only lasted forever, we brought it with us to several dozen places. It may be still leaning against your house in Connecticut. It might. Honestly, knowing my dad, if it's there, he's kept it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Also, knowing me, it's probably covered with my urine because I've peed next to your house a billion times. Oh, yeah. I will say, this thing was built basically out of cardboard. I don't know how, if it's still around, there's no way it opens up and operates. Yeah, no. That thing was something else, man. It was like the professional beer pong eight-foot table. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
In the middle, it had like the... Yeah, there was a guy like this. Yeah, all right. It's like the NBA. Ah, good times. Good times. What's better than a couple of drinking games? Let's do an episode where we get two beer towers. Frank. And we do a beer tower race. It holds like six beers, Joey. We will be okay. Maybe not in a full episode. Maybe that's more of a standing out of studios thing.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Greg, do me a favor. Can you expense two beer towers for me, please? Frank, can I say something? Can I say something? I'm breaking down the wall right here, okay? Break the walls down. Don't interrupt me real quick. I just want to get this off. Frank? You want to get off? Yeah. You just did it. Frank is not an idea guy. Admittedly, right? Yeah, fully admit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And it was just, like, a 25-minute video of. Women in thongs.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Most of the time, I will say that his ideas are next level bad. Right? Just unbelievably horrible. Like what? That beer tower idea. may have erased your entire past.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
of like we're making something groundbreaking here and it's like cisco playing like the drums on a butt on the beach yeah what's better than that and uh and then at the end they'd be like the worldwide debut of the thong song video that came out and rocked my world as a little seven-year-old let me tell you wow wow i can't believe we were seven years old that came out i felt like i was older
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That would be amazing. I would love that. Jokes aside. And we have to write stuff on it. We have to write stuff like, this is the levels. Look up the drinking beer levels. Look them up. We should have like... Look up drinking glass, big drinking glass that has levels that are insulting. Hey man, just look up beer tower. That are insulting.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Because they're like almost like borderline homophobic like the old ones. It'll just be like, you swallow... I think go to Amazon and type in beer tower.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Beer tower we could get. That's easy. Okay. But we have to like... Frank wants to be degraded apparently. Drink your beer, you whore. Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
She would say Francisco? She'd be like, Francisco! I think I've heard your mom call you that. My mom also called me Cisco for a while, which, you know, in 1999 I was pumped. Yeah, because you loved the thong song. Hold on. You loved the thong song. Don't say that pointing fingers. The world loved the thong song.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think he's alien. Yeah. Well, while we're doing that, we have some more sponsors for this week. I'm so excited. I'm sorry. I'm so excited you said that. I had a good idea. Interruption. Okay, we have Squarespace. Squarespace is where you're going to build your website. They're a platform that they're going to offer all the tools you need to build and operate a successful website.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I've said it before. Your website is sometimes your first impression, so it is very important. If you have a great product but your website is eh, then people are kind of going to be a little iffy about purchasing or whatever it is. But yeah, with Squarespace they have a bunch of templates that will help you get jump started in building a great looking website.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It'll show you the ones in your area and their next available appointments. And like I said, they are patient reviewed. So a score out of five, you know, these people are not paying for those reviews. It is patients who had a good experience. So you can read the reviews and say, OK, this person It's a good doctor. They have availability tomorrow or even today at some point. So that's ZocDoc.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
So it's great. It's a free app and website where you can do that. So yeah, so stop putting off all those doctor's appointments. Go to ZocDoc.com slash basement to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash basement. Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash basement. And lastly here... We have Kickoff. Kickoff is going to help you build your credit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Uh, maybe, maybe, maybe because you were like reading Playboys at that age. I wasn't reading Playboys at seven, was I? There was the one in like that alleyway behind your house. I was seven? I'm pretty sure we were seven years old when we were looking at that. First of all, no one's reading that. I was looking and analyzing, okay? I just wanted to see a boob. Then you probably did at that time.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
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The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
G-E-T-K-I-K-O-F-F dot com slash basement. So it's kickoff without the C. All right. Enjoy. Wow. Okay. Get the beer towers. What's going on over there? Serious talk now. Well, first of all, can you just look up big beer mug with comical things written on it? Sure. Just look at that real quick. You're so adamant about being degraded by your beer mugs.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
But also, it's time to talk about something serious. Go ahead. There, uh, no. We don't have to do this now, Frank. We'll do it eventually.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
What's that one say? I always, what's it, titties and beer? To the right? I don't always. To the left. Down? To the left? Left? Yeah, no, we have a show.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
What's it say? I don't always think about titties and beers. Oh, wait. Yes, I do.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
such a sick are you satisfied now you're satisfied no it's time to talk about something serious so uh you guys have asked uh we have listened are you talking about me the beef boys are back joey and frankie the beef boys are back a lot of people often love our coverage of beef how you're all over beef uh anytime there's beef we both just ate a beef stick Separate beef sticks.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Let's make that very clear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they came out of a box. Yeah. Okay. Joe's beef stick. You ate yours in the bathroom for some reason. I will say. I don't even get that joke. Oh, you thought I was shoving a beef stick in my ass. Got it. Okay. The Beef Boys are back, and this one hits close to home now, Joe. So look at some of the other beefs that we've covered.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We've been all over the Haley Bieber, Selena Gomez beef. I remember that. You remember that beef. The Rizzler and Baby Gronk. Yeah. Quite the thing going on there. Yeah. Now we've got Boy Meets World Beef. Got it. Beef Boys meets Boy Meets World Beef. I see what you're doing. Okay. Have you heard about this? I heard there are Topanga's like upset about something or some shit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I don't really know what it is now. All right. So in summary, basically, so, so summarize, that's what I was going to do. Do it. I was going to do it. Okay. So if you had a popular like kids show or Disney show or whatever in like the 90s or early 2000s, like a lot of them have podcasts now. Remember there was like Ned's Declassified. Chrissy Carlson Romano has one. She just got shot in the face.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Now there's – What? You didn't hear about that? I'm glad she's okay. She was on a hunting trip and she got shot in the face. She's okay, thank God. With a gun in the face? Like a shooting gun. They're all shooting guns! No, like a hunting one. The ones that spray. The one that Dick Cheney shot someone with. Oh, like pellets. Pellets, yeah, yeah. They hunt quail.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And then we've obviously told these stories before, but for people who don't know, new viewers or whatever the case may be, There was a Playboy stuffed into the crack of an old garage at the top of my block that I would go and I don't know how it got there. I think my neighbor put it there, but we would go and be like, oh, and then we look at boobs and we shove it back into the crack.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, dude. It was scary. She posted a picture. I was like, holy shit. Is she all right? She seems okay. She posted a picture saying, like, I'm good. Okay. You tried to glaze over someone getting shot in the face. You can't say glaze and then shot in the face, Joey. That's really out of left field. You can if you don't do that. That's really out of left field.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
But so there's a Boy Meets World podcast, and it's three of the heaviest hitters on the show. You got Topanga. You got Hunter. What was his name? Will Hunter? Ben Savage. Nope. No, that's Corey. His name is? Ben something Hunter. Hunter. Hunter. Hunter. You know who I'm talking about.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
The guy that was in Cabin Fever. The cool hair. Yeah. The one whose dad didn't love him. He's like, I'm poor, but I wear leather jackets. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Very expensive leather jacket. Yeah. I add. And then he's like, he got adopted by the teacher who drives a Harley. Sean Hunter. There we go.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
great name that's a sick name and then will friedel friedel friedel i forgive me if i'm butchering the oh and the older brother yeah yeah so they have a podcast where they just talk you know like life happiness joy i love it i'm all about it okay another one of the stars from i don't know about stars a woman that was on the show with them they had her on and her and topanga just started fucking beefing dude
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Who? Which one of the show? There it is. Maitland Ward. I don't remember who she played in the show. Scroll down. She was... Oh, the redhead. The redheaded actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who was with the other guy? I don't remember who she's with. The guy who looks like he's, you know, just the other guy. Who's the brother's roommate. I don't remember that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
but so she gets on and she's just like they start going back and forth why so the story is that maitland ward was like upset she thought that the other people from the show were upset because she was getting a lot of attention and topanga's like yo let's fucking let's like verbally brawl right now let me say something yeah
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
There are a few things in life that are just American and beloved to their core. Okay. I'm not a fan, but. Apple pie. Apple pie. Okay. Bald eagles. Bald eagles. Sparklers. Spark. Fireworks. I mean, I think we got them from the Chinese, but. We did. All right. Sparklers. Maybe they're ours now. I meant like these sparklers, not the club sparklers.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
They're not the ones that come out with bottles, you know, and it says a sign that says like, you're 32, oldie.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know. Aldi. Okay. Other things. Ant, anything? Anything American that you can think of? A really dumb looking USA hat.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
How do we glaze over hot dogs? Here's a question. Clowns? Is that an American thing? I think the... I think... Did we invent clowns? No, no, no, no. Mimes. France. Those are the first clowns. Those are clowns. Are they? Who invented clowns? Mines aren't clowns. Those are very different. Who invented clowns? I think that we invented. Ancient Rome, ancient Egypt, and other cultures.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We were very we didn't want to take it. It was a communal Playboy. It literally anyone else wanted to go and get there. There was an urban legend. Oh, there's a Playboy in the crack of the old garage at the top of the block and you can go get it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Damn. Few things that are just to their core American and beloved. Topanga? Really? You think Topanga? Bro. I love Topanga. Exactly. One of my first crushes. Exactly. Did you have a crush on Topanga? Of course. Who didn't? I had a crush on Topanga too. She's beautiful. You know, like it was at the time. And she's so mature.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
She was always like, she was always like, she always had her head on straight. You know, like Corey was being an idiot. Yeah. He was such a bastard. He was such a little bitch. He was a bitch. He was.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And she was there to be like, dude. And Sean's in the corner with a leather jacket. Like my dad hates me. Yeah, he was... Well, he doesn't even know. I don't think he knows his dad or whatever. Well, if your dad doesn't know you, chances are they hate you. Yeah, he had a lot of more stuff going on. Corey was a bitch because he had a loving family, a great house. Great house?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And a lovely lady. What are you complaining about? What's there to complain about? Your fucking best friend's... Basically homeless, dude.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
He was on the boom and bitch too, but he has more stuff to complain about. It's just, you know, Topanga, you don't go after Topanga. That's the rule. I agree. That is the rule of life. It's also a fun name to say, Topanga. Topanga, Topanga. If you go after Topanga, this boy... He's pointing at himself. ...is going to make sure you meet the afterworld.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
just kill yeah okay i got it you don't attack topanga dude what did she say she said like you know like oh like why don't we talk so topanga was just like yo being topanga she's like let's talk offline so we can squash any beef right topanga that's maturity very maturity yeah mr feeney would be proud very maturity and maitland war was like nah save it for the fuck i'm coming to the podcast and we'll talk there
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
She wanted to air it out. She was like, it'll be good for ratings. And Topanga dropped one of the coldest lines I've ever heard, dude. Oh, fuck. So Maitland was just like, yo, you were upset because I was getting all this attention in 2014. And Topanga goes, I was on the cover of Maxim in 2014. That's crazy. But can we say this? No. She wasn't wrong. It did do good for ratings.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
like it was like being able to play with fossils of dinosaurs and then around the block there was a the pay phone that I would call 1-800 like boobs piss boobs piss and then they would be like too many too many numbers but you know what I meant to you know but it'd be like oh welcome to 1-800 boobs and you just heard a like a woman saying something yeah yeah yeah oh my god we called one of those once on an episode where it was like 1-800 like we called a hundred of them have we
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We're talking about it. That's right. That is what it is.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Maybe cut her in on that deal. That is right. She's not incorrect, but you don't go after Topanga. Yeah. That's just like we are. Maybe they should fight on the undercard of a Jake Paul fight that no one wants to watch. I'm just kidding, dude. I don't want to see that. Topanga's very maturity, so I feel like she's probably taken boxing or like Taibo or something like that. What is Taibo?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think it's a fun mix of working out and dancing. Taibo. Yeah. So what's Tai Chi? Tai Chi is different.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
They'd be at the park and they would just be like. Yeah, I don't... Did you guys have a Tai Chi guy?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Everyone had a Tai Chi guy. Is it Tai Chi or is it... We also want to be careful that we're not offending anyone that may or may not practice Tai Chi, Tai Bo, or any Tai... I'm not offending Tai Chi at all. I think it's awesome. Quan Do or anything, they might fuck us up. Might? How hard would that be? Everyone knew that one Tai Chi guy that was just like, now try to push me. You know what I mean?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I love those videos on the internet of guys being like, oh my. They'll be like standing still. They'll just be like flat footed. They're like, try to push me. And you push them and be like, see, I have completely centered my chi. And like, I am immovable right now. I love the videos of the guy who's like, clearly he's the guy. And then there's people just sitting down. They're watching him.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And he's like, it's just like this. See that's all you have to do it's about energy.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yo, have you ever seen like this Steven Seagal like him performing in like North Korea or Russia? someone will come at him and he'll just like grab their wrists and be like watch this and Yeah, like, what are we doing? And, like, in slow-mo. I agree. Those are... It's like we're, like, sharks. Where people, like... You know how they... You ever seen people hypnotize sharks where they do that?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Where they're just like, sharks are big puppies. Watch this. And there's a great white and they, like, put their hand on its nose and flips it upside down and, like, scratches its belly and shit like that. Apparently that's real. Apparently it is real. Yeah, but... Yeah, but... I don't... I would love to see... I'm riding a wave right now, so do I quit while I'm ahead?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I don't know what you're saying. For a Santagato Studios video, we get someone like a Tai Chi master in here to do those moves on us. Nah, I'd be so embarrassed. I also know someone that went to school for massage therapy, and they were just like, oh yeah, no, there are parts of your body that if I touch, you'll shit your pants. I'm not kidding. This is what this person told me.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I've not asked them to go for it. I'm open to that being real.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
make me shit my pants i would need to experience that like you're telling me someone could just touch this thing and i would just fill my pants fill your shitty pants i would that would be unbelievable and you've been wearing bigger more looser pants now so you could probably fill a lot of crap more crap a lot more crap not only that but i would argue that's cooler than like a card trick
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Well, yeah, because it's being done to your body. Bro, Vegas, this is a great thing.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. And it's just like, oh, you want to fucking do it? Give me your credit card.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think it's possible, and I'll go one step probable. If we had a guy in here who was like, if I touch a part of your neck, you will shit your pants. Do you let him touch it? Not me, not me, no, no, no. Really? I don't need to. What if I got you pants? I don't care what you get me. It's not, first of all, there's no shower in here. Okay, but all those questions are answered.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You can get me whatever you want. What it would do to my, like, confidence. To shit your pants? Yeah, brother, I don't think I'd come back from that. Why? An adult man shitting his pants on the internet? We don't have to post it. I'll just talk about it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
A good magician never reveals their secrets. That's right. I think that's the thing because you love talking about how often you almost crap yourself. No, you talk about me doing that all the time. Because offline you talk about it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yes, you do. How often does he talk about almost crapping his pants? Frank, you're a manipulator, and you tell lies on the show, and you create narratives, and then people just believe them because you create narratives and you make it up in your liar gaslighter. Get Topanga on my side. Topanga, you hear how he's talking about us? Projecting, projecting, projecting.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That's how people in the 80s and early 90s used to get off. Phone sex? It was like they had like chat rooms for fucking phone calls. I'm sure that still exists. Is it like a big industry, like a phone sex operator?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That looks like a sick shirt. I'm sorry. That's a sick shirt. I like that shirt. That is.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Wow, that doesn't look like her at all. I honestly don't even remember her from the show if I hadn't looked up this article. Yeah, she was always with the brother and the roommate and then her. And it was like this weird love triangle, kind of. Do we have to go back and watch all of Boy Meets World?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh. We don't. All right? We don't have to do that. I mean, honestly. What episode stands out? When you think about Boy Meets World, what stands out? Hmm. Ask me again. You tell your answer, then I'm going to drink this water because there's something caught in my throat. Got it. Two answers. One, there was a Halloween episode that scared the shit out of me.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And I was terrified. Yeah. Anytime like a show is like kid shows did a Halloween episode. That's when they were like, we're going to scare the shit out of the kids that are watching this.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think Kenan and Kel did one that fucking petrified me as a child.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I recently rewatched, oh man, I tweeted about this, but I recently was like, it was up one morning, and it was just Miles and I up, and I was like, yo, you want to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark? Yeah. And he was like, yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It's scary. I loaded it up. I was just like, dude, this show, as a kid, it scared the shit out of me. It was really terrifying. There was one episode in particular, Tale of the Ghastly Grinner. I've spoken about it. And I was like, yo, you want to watch it? He's like, yeah. I was like, it might scare you. He's like, I'm good, dude. I'm fine with it. Like, let's put it on.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I ain't a bitch like you, Kiki. And we watched it. And boy, oh boy, did it make me look like a little baby because it was not scary at all. Really? But come on. You could see why as a little kid I was terrified of this.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You know what I'm saying? And he was just like, you found this scary? Damn. Yeah, he hit me hard. then you gotta show him like Insidious or something now I was thinking now next I'm gonna have to show him something crazy but Becca might be a little upset about that one what like something really if you had to show someone what's the scariest movie you've ever seen The Strangers
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Where it's just like, why us? It's like, you were home. Terrifying. That's why? That's what they say. Well, that's why you're barricading all those doors and shit. Damn right, baby. Yeah, I don't like home invasions. I don't like that at all. Who does? I don't like haunted shit, though. That's like, I can get past...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Bro, you used to spend a million hours a night with your girlfriends on the phone. You get it. We weren't doing fucking, like, we weren't talking. I was talking about, like, oh, man, my fucking, this chapter, Catcher in the Rye, really sucks. You think we were going, you think we were doing, like, oh, so, like, what are you wearing? And I'd be, like, Scooby-Doo boxers. Frank.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, and it's like what is that? Like what it was going on with this person that I think there's a demon Becca's like you in that regard like like a sci-fi or like a like a like a Horror movie about like just like a person that's scary. Okay with the moment. It's like supernatural or like religious or like demonic She's just like I'm out
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
i'll watch them the only thing that gets me out of movies is jump scares i hate you you've said this before you do the whole like who's texting me right now i do that all the time or i get something in my eye for like 10 minutes i'm like the fuck no i love i love horror movies love them you like being scared i do i like it like someone going
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And you're like, oh, one of my favorite TikToks is like that. It's like a compilation of people scaring other people. Like they're like, there's like this kid that like scares his grandmother and he just like runs up there and he's like, and she like fucking like freaks out. I'm terrified of scaring old people. I feel like you could. Yeah, they're one step in. Yeah, dude.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
They're one foot in, one foot out. You know what I'm saying? I feel like when you scare someone, like that feeling in your chest, your heart has to like do something. When I was a kid, my sister scared me once so bad that I started crying.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I used to cry all the time for stuff. Yeah. Being scared, that was the least of it. I've cried for numerous reasons, dude. I love a good scare. 90% of the time it was girls. Yeah, we know that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, don't. You cried on a piece of paper and you circled it and you're like, oh, there was a tear. No, it wasn't a real cry. I know.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, wait, yeah, no, you just licked it. Yeah. First time I remember crying for a girl was when I told the girl in second grade that I loved her. Not loved her, liked her. And it was the day after I watched the making of the video of the Cisco Thong song. Full circle. Wait, what? Full circle, baby. It was the day after?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. Same year you stopped talking to me because Kelsey said I was her friend. Best friend, bitch. This girl Kelsey, she gave me a thing on Valentine's Day. When you're a kid, everyone gives stuff out to each other in class. She gave me this thing, and Frankie was just standing next to me.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I know that you've done it. No, I will tell you that, like, when I, yeah, when I got older.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Listen. No! We've established that I am a dominant Leo, and one of my traits is that I am loyal. I'm ride or fucking die for my people. That's not loyalty. That is loyalty, bitch. How is that loyal? Because you were being disloyal.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Your best friend cheated on me. Your best friend cheated. She said I was her best friend.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Why would she say that? Why would she assume that that relationship is there? Can I be honest with you? Yeah. I have no idea. Do you remember me and Kelsey being best friends? I think. I did have a crush on her, though.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
She moved away at the end of the year. So she might have been. This might have been the basement yard with Kelsey and Joe. But it isn't now.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
But, like, when I was, like, at that age where it would be, like, we'd stay on the phone all night. It was not that. It was just, like, let's just sleep and keep the phone there. I don't know. I don't know. I think you're lying. Why would I have to lie about that? I don't know. When did you get a cell phone?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And I remember the next year at the end of the school year, she came back. Remember the last three weeks of school and elementary school were just like toss-ups. No one gave a fuck what you did.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
yeah like what are we doing today we're watching a movie and eating gushers from morning to after it was an ice cream party at miss pogerman's class yeah and she like showed up and people like made a big deal of it like the teachers and everything were like we got a surprise and it was the kid you haven't seen in a year and everyone was just like you would think lebron james yeah well at the time it wouldn't have been lebron james it would have been like derrick jeter or lisa leslie jason kid yeah jason kid i don't know but yeah i remember she showed up and i was like what are you doing here
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, it was like the last episode of like the season finale of Dawson's Creek where it's just like things are gonna happen and it's just like the ex walks in and it's like, what? But you're supposed to have died in a sailing crash. In a sailing crash. That's what it was. But yeah, so that, but you probably weren't happy about that either. No, bitch.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I got rid of you. No, I had a one at that point in time. I had one. So she can come back as many times as she wants. She can come back right now. Get her on the episode. It ain't gonna fucking matter. I wonder what she's doing. I don't care. Hope no one finds her. Even though there's very random. There's a thousand million Kelsey's in the world. Uh, but yeah, her last name was Kelsey.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It was Travis. Oh, I get it. Kelsey. Yeah. It wasn't Travis. Should we end the episode on that? Incredibly over the roaring laughter. All right, guys, we got to get out of here now.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
um dude you know what i would love to do no go through our yearbook in fifth grade and just like our class and just like point people out and just remember stuff about them let's do it i mean we're also we'd be invading people's privacy by doing that uh just first names Okay. But that's just an us thing. We should do that me and you.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I don't think people are going to want to watch an hour of that. I think they would love to hear about these stories. I think only if we got to 35,000 patrons, they'd really. I remember one time I pushed a mirror into a fence and he chased me. Yeah, I remember we were trying to come up with cool nicknames for all our friends. So our friend Eric, we nicknamed him EXM. What is that?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
You were Joe Mudd. I was Fax 2. He needed one, so he became EXM.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I can tell you when that whole stay up all night on the phone thing was. It was after I'd had the phone for a couple years at that point. Phone sex. Phone sex. No, if we did, I'm being very honest. You've never sex on the phone with words? Of course I have. Of course I have, bitch. That's all I'm saying. But I'm saying at the time, that's not what the, it was just for like comfort. I agree.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Sometimes you live dangerously, and that was me. See? Sometimes you live dangerously. I was Ben Savage. I remember we went and we played Spongebob Uno at your crush's Gillian's house, and we didn't know why it smelled so weird. Hindsight, reek the weed.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Her parents were big potheads. They were like hippies, kind of. Yeah, they were like hippies and like... We played Spoons! We played Spoons and we played SpongeBob Uno. And they were like, why don't you guys have to be home? And I'm like, our parents do not give a shit. Yeah. I was like, I have to be home at 7 o'clock for dinner? As they were saying that, they were like, why don't you guys...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
have to be home they were nice people and they had a new apartment yeah it doesn't mean the smoking weed doesn't mean they're bad people very very boomer of you joey wow they they no i just didn't want anyone to think that we were doing that also i went to middle school yeah they weren't rolling up joints in front of us just so we're clear yeah yeah that was not happy but like i remember i went to middle school with her and her dad drove us home one time and
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
in a station wagon yeah something like that really but i'm in the back seat and then he starts going off about graffiti and then i remember being like i don't know i think it's like pretty cool it's like art never saw her again it was like never i legit never got a ride home again but i don't know if that was because of why yeah we just stopped being me and her stopped being friends he might have gotten like in trouble for like you know rolling doobies or something
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Nah, he was just like, no, it's disrespectful to people's businesses. And I was just like, nah, I feel like bubble letters are sick. You definitely love bubble letters. Bubble letter Joe. Bubble letter Joe. You're the one who got in trouble. You always bring that up, but you forget that it was actually you. I got in trouble for it, but no one got in trouble.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
No one got mad at Joe because he was a bubble letter kid because he had cool bubble letters. That's where we're going to end it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That was just for us. But we will get some beer towers in here and it will get a little crazy. I think that we should definitely do that. The beer tower boys. Get on the one. The beer tower basement boys bring. The basement yard beer tower bash. Basement boys beer tower bash.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Go follow me at JoeSanagawaFrank when they find you. Yay. And that is all. We appreciate you guys so much. Don't forget to go to TheBasementYard.com slash submit. If you're coming to shows this year in the UK or in Ireland, hit us up. TheBasementYard.com slash submit. Submit. Submit. Submit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I'm just like, you want to, you know, I just want to know someone's there on the phone. And like, if I roll over and it's like, you can hear someone is, you know, they're there. breathing and snoring and stuff. And is looking at us like we're psychotic right now. You've never stayed up all night on the phone with your girlfriend? No, I have.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I didn't know what a thong was at that time, so I just liked it because it was a catchy tune. Frank, we knew what a thong was. You think in second grade we knew what a thong was?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I'd be like, give me a good night kiss. Yeah. And then he'd be like, that's not a good one. Give me another one. Something like that. Or dial three if you like me or some shit. I don't, I mean, it's honestly, it's not impossible, but I don't think that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
24, exactly. Yeah, you're right. This is too far away. The good old days of being able to just like go up the block and look at a porno in a cracked garage. Back, back. As a child, I probably shouldn't label it that way, but, like, The atrocities of the world were so out of our mindset. We didn't, you know, had a sight out of mind. We didn't care about that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
That was like all the way in Manhattan. All the way across the river. But in Queens. But in Queens, all we cared about, baby, just a... Is the souvlaki guy in the corner because I'm hungry. Hell yeah. Is Babalu who drives the ice cream truck coming around because I want some ice cream. Babalu and also got in trouble for cocaine, but we don't talk about that stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, 1999, the thong song. Uh, probably. I don't think I knew what a thong was.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I mean, listen, I don't know what was in that great white shark popsicle, but it was delicious. So I'll take 100 of them. Yeah. No?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And then you were like, yo, I don't know what was in that great white popsicle, but I had 100. Chill. I mean, everyone remembers great white shark popsicles. Those were whack. You like the wackest stuff. They were delicious. They were lemon.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Delicious! I still get it! No, that one's the wackest one. No, no, no, no, no. They're all the same flavor, I think, too. The people that hate the episodes where we're screaming are a little upset at us right now. Fuck yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And we knew Lita had her thong hanging out of her jeans. Well, Lita wasn't really popular until like 2001, Joey. At the time in 1999, if she was even there, she was with S.A. Rios, who she broke into the WWE, WWF at the time, with. Right. And then she joined in with the Hardy Boys. Did I tell you? I didn't tell you, but I recently watched the TLC match from WrestleMania 17.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We're talking about ice cream here. We love you. No, I, I, the, the Ninja Turtles, they've butchered my boys. Old Ninja Turtles were huge.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
It's not because a person is doing it. It's a machine.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I think, yeah, probably. I think that they probably don't care anymore. I hate when I open it up and it's like, oh, we got an eye here and an eye here. What is this? I mean, honestly, I am fully on board with just replacing those gumballs. They're not gum. I don't know what they are. It's dust. So just take them out entirely and just put...
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Something in there, you know, a blueberry flavored eyeball or something. Yeah. Yeah. Or like the eyes in a, in a rabbit, a chocolate bunny. Those eyes are good. Oh, I thought you meant not an actual rabbit, not an actual rabbit.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Do you remember back in the day where it was like your key chain? It was good luck to have a rabbit's foot. Yeah. That wasn't a rabbit's foot. Right? I think it might've been brother. A real rabbit's foot? I think it might have been. And also, why is that good luck? That was so popular. I had one that was red. Yeah, I had one too. Well, yours was probably fake because rabbits are not red.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I remember... They could dye it. Well, I mean, maybe. I mean, Frank, I don't think anyone has... Due to a superstition that originated from folklore with some theory suggesting it might be linked to Hand of Glory, a severed hand of a hanged criminal which was believed to bring luck in European tradition. So this is what we were walking around with on our keys? Yeah.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Type in a rabbit's foot keychain. We had these back in the day. And it was like a cool thing to have in your keychain. And my sister had a bunch. Yeah. It looked like that. Yeah. That was hanging off my keys. Where were they just? Oh, man. But they weren't real. They were like plastic. Some of them look like they might have been. The conviction. No, no, no. Some of them look like they were real.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Maybe. I don't know. Possibly. Possibly. But, yeah, see, I had, like, a red one or a pink one or some shit. I had one of those. I had one of those, too. Or, I mean, at some point. I don't remember exactly when.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah. Listen, the amount of stuff that I had from fairs, they were giving out goldfish, rabbit's feet, Xboxes. They gave out a... It was a lot. When the carnival or the fair or festival, whatever you guys called it, feast someplace is called it, rolled into town, that was a lawless... section of the community at that point in time.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
My mom hated that because me and Keith would come home with some animal and she'd be like, what am I doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Came home with a hermit crab. That sucks, dude.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I was going to say, these things, have you seen a hermit crab, how fast they move? They're pretty slow, brother.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Okay, then you should know that it was probably bullshit from the start. Well, Mrs. Crabtree, Frank, I was a child. Top speed, four inches per second. That's what Joe measures in. First of all, that's very fast. Four inches per second? One, two, three. Whoa, dude. Four inches is not- I think four inches is like- Probably, right? Something like that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Your mom probably got rid of that thing and crushed it in the back alleyway or something.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
No, it wasn't bad either. Oh. You were just in it. Okay. Nothing crazy. Okay. We were in a car. That means you're thinking about me. I think so. Oh, well, let me tell the story. Okay. But we were in a car and I was in the back seat.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And I was like, look at her. She's got her thong out. Oh, yeah. Bro, that's all it took.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Oh, what were you trying to say? I was trying to get your attention so that you'd shake me and I'd wake up. Okay. So I was going,
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Now, if I am a dream expert. Are you? Right now, it sounds like it. I bet. I think this sounds like there might be something that you want to talk to me about, but you may not feel. Right. What's up? Oh, that I don't know. But that sounds like a good explanation. Has there been something on your mind? Do you want to air it?
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
We'll air it out right here in front of just me and you and whoever's watching.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
What is it? I don't know. I hate that when it's just like, or like the one it's like you throw a punch and it's like, bro, I hate that.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
But the thong song, it's an American staple. Yes. Cisco blew up. He was in movies. Remember, there were other songs on that album, too. I don't remember that. Y'all people gonna make me unleash the dragon. Y'all know I don't really wanna unleash the dragon. He loved dragons, Cisco. I think that he liked Cisco more than a lot of people.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the worst feeling in the world to have that. Oh, well, if you want to talk to me, brother, I'm all ears. I don't really have. I think I got it all out in the dream. Oh, you got nothing out. Right. Okay. Speaking of dreams, I saw this thing. And by I, I mean, and it's a collection of 24 different. By the way, I couldn't even have told you 24 different ways to sleep.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Yeah, I didn't. And I mean, I think we know what yours is, Joey. Joey's sleeping in 10. I do not sleep that way.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
Can I guess how you sleep and you guess how I sleep? All right. Okay. I'm going to guess that you sleep. I already see mine, and I know you're not going to get it.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I would say 22. That's how you sleep. No, no, honestly.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
I literally was like, you're winding up. I'm fucking El Duque. I'm about to throw something. No, no, no. That's what I do. I bring my leg all the way, one leg all the way up, one down. I like to stretch it out so there's a real difference between my legs. I like that too.
The Basement Yard
#493 - Joe Had A Dream About Frank
And then I pull one arm under the pillow and I bring it close to me and the other one stays like right here or right here or right here. You know, something in this area. Gotcha. Who in God's name is 10 if not you? I don't know. That is like a crazy way to sleep. Um, I think, cause I've watched you sleep a lot lately. I would say that you're probably, I'm kidding.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
Hey, Charlie, good to talk to you. Yes, you too. President Trump seems to be caving a little bit on labor. I mean, gig economy was important, was hugely important in California. Is he going to be able to free up the gigs again? Is he really going to support? There's a lot of money coming his way from many of the big corporations. It's not lobby money, but I guess it is lobby money.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
Can he shake free of that stuff and free up the American gigger?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
Pro gig economy. Pro our youth being able to do better than the H-1B visa people.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
So, I mean, we're not just talking Uber drivers. We're talking about grandmoms, okay, having to be paid insurance because now they're taking care of their grandkids in California. That's what you're talking about in California.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
I'm not in favor.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
Or restricting giggers.
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
How do you think the labor secretary appointee designate at this point is she's against Sanchez?
The Charlie Kirk Show
Ask Charlie Anything 208: Fat Kids = Child Abuse? Afghanistan Alternatives? Is DCFS Abusive?
Maybe Charlie Kirk is on the college campus.