Dr. John Delony

Is it okay if I just throw it out here?

I think we overuse the word need a lot when it comes to relationships.

And when I say to my wife, I need this, I need this.

What I'm doing is I've got a cinder block that I'm holding and I'm handing it to her and say, it's your responsibility to make me feel X, Y, or Z with whatever that is.

The truth underneath that question is really, here's what I want.

And very few people can answer the question, hey, what do you want?

If you want $10 million, if that's your answer, okay, what is that going to get you?

Time?

Is it going to get you freedom?

Is it going to get you laughter?

Is it going to get you an opportunity to go fishing more?

What do you want?

And in the bedroom, what do you want?

And what do you want to try?

What do you think would be fun?

Where is play?

Where is joy?

Where is laughter?

And our culture so idolizes sex that every encounter has to be the Super Bowl and fireworks.

I think it's the great Esther Perel that says, most of the time, most meals are, you open the fridge and see what's in there, right?