Cousin Sal
Appearances
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I was getting PTSD watching it. That's how he was drafted, the same stomp. He doesn't change the stomp. He stomps down the... Yeah, all right, so that's mine.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, how do certain guys figure it out and certain guys don't? It's just weird. And you wonder if they're practicing at all during the week. But go ahead.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They, yes, he was, at one point it was eight for 22 with like a few dozen yards passing, right? In a close game where you needed him to convert a third down. He wasn't doing it. And you're exactly right. And Steichen has to take shit for this, but the double pass reverse thing,
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
was a better option, even though there was probably a 30% chance that it was a pick six or a fumble, whatever the hell that was called.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Not really.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I think someone was probably supposed to be blocking that guy, but still, that was their best option. It's really bad.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's looking like a really bad draft pick at this point. I feel horrible for the guy, but yeah. Today he was 17 for 38. Yeah, and he made a comeback, like I said. It was eight for 22 at some point. Yeah, so... That goal line thing, because you brought it up, what the hell's going on with that epidemic?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It happened twice today, where the guys are dropping balls like a quarter of a yard before the goal line. I don't know what goes on.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, if there was a big end zone. These guys are professional athletes. Right in front of you before you had the orgasm. Yes, it would be the same thing, but you should be able to figure out where not to drop. This doesn't happen in other sports. Juan Soto's not rounding third, and then when he's between third and home, takes off for the dugout.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I had to mention Juan Soto because he's the greatest player of all time. Maybe you'll get invited in his 22-person suite.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All I took was a suite.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I'm sure Jonathan Taylor was pointing and laughing at Deshaun Jackson or whoever the hell did it in college or anything, right? And then they ended up doing it themselves.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Oh, I'm up. Okay. All right, let's see. I could read you who's left on the board. Well, let me just go with Jameis. I love him, though, too. Damn, I really do love him. But I need to see. There's not the excitement. We're not getting to the top of the roller coaster anymore. We just keep falling. You know what I mean?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, it's not that good. And, you know, he got sacked a bunch and threw four interceptions. But, of course, I had the Browns plus four and a half or five. But, yeah, you can't depend on him at all.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
We should have had house for this. A dessert version of ranking the bad quarterbacks. Krispy Kreme donuts, s'mores. Who gets the Mike and Ikes?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Give me a choice.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Can I go with Howell? We just saw Howell. I can't stand Sam. Mike, I got to... I got to get out of here and go Christmas shopping. I got to go get Jack a Cuisinart. I can't watch this idiot.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
statuesque really good I'll put him on the list because he that was maybe a game they could have played back into teaser territory but not because not while he was in for sure I have I'll take Bryce Young next just because he looked good at the start of the game
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. Uh, that was, um, Against your team, not exactly the 85 Bears. I'll tell you, I was a little depressed, even though I'm out on my team. When we did guess the lines, it was like one and a half. Then it went to two and a half. I'm like, this team hasn't been favored in 34 games, and now my crap-ass Cowboys team catches the two and a half points, but they stood up, man.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I think they got pissed off by that. I really do. That was their best complete game since, I look back, since I think the first time they beat the Bills in the Super Bowl, 52-17. This was the After that, the best game they've played.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, I'll take him. Although, like I said, this is the fat family member to stand next to. You play a team bad enough, and you're going to look good. So Wash Rogers is always there.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
The Jets are like, look, are you sure you want to lose this game at home in front of these fans? We'll give it to you. We're giving you a chance here. Yeah. The fact that Belichick met with them earlier in the year is just, I mean, I do believe it. I do believe it. You hate that.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, but I know. But he's not the most righteous dude in the world. I think your second scenario is pretty... It could happen. Like, he kicked the tires. You don't think he'd take a call from Woody Johnson as much as he hated them? It really depends on how much he wanted to break this record.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Actually, I have something to talk to you about, Phil. Yeah. I know it's going to sound weird. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, and he really pivoted because he made everyone think he wanted to go for the record for most wins in the NFL. But as it turns out, he wants to go for the most losses all time in college football. And that's why he's with Carroll. No, I think it's a good move. I think he did everything right. And I think you probably said it about like doing all the media for a year. He's loose.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
He still gets it. He's still in tune with the football. Even the girlfriend, I get it. I'm sure they're madly in love, but it really does show that he could like wrangle and relate to younger people. This is going to work. I think it's going to work.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And so what, you know, the team was six and four and they lost that last two in a conference where, you know, the team that won the conference is like the 12th seed in the NCAA. Like he could turn it around. It's not, it's not, not impossible.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Well, he's going to recruit 35 guys. And so like eight of them have to hit versus NFL where you can only draft like seven dudes and four of them have to hit. I think the odds are in his favor for sure. No rules is good for him.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's so funny because the reverse that I saw was that the Chiefs have not scored 31 points this year and any, and they compared it to other teams who have not scored 31 and they will have two wins, three wins, four wins. Like they're all junk. And through the years they've all, been junk. So yeah, there's, there should be a happy medium, but yeah, I mean, that's my Super Bowl, Detroit Buffalo.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It was, it was, it wasn't good. I wish that game was, it was entertaining, but it just wasn't good. You never, I never thought the Lions could come back. I mean, I know people get on Campbell for onside kicking there, but the Lions gave up 8.2 yards per play. They kind of had to do something at some point. No, can we argue about this?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You just say it really low. So they kind of can't... Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Allen was jogging for first downs. I mean, he must have looked up and down the roster. So Carlton Davis was hurt. Dorsey was carted off. McNeil, the injury got worse and worse. I get it. He is too aggressive in general. That was too aggressive.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, but it's also screwed up. I know what you're saying. Like, Goff threw five touchdowns, and he had five interceptions against, was it the Texans? And he won that game, but lost this game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, I'm trying to think. The one seed is a little... I saw 43% for Detroit, 34% for the Eagles, and yet Minnesota controls their own destiny. They have tough games, but if they win all three, or I guess four now, they still have to play tomorrow, then they get the one seed.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Your Patriots never did that?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Bill Belichick's defense? No. It sucks for them because if this was the 1950s and we played a 12-game schedule, they would be in dynamite shape.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Even the flip passes on third down that just have to get over the line. Like he's just doing, like I said, he's like jogging out of bounds for seven yards. And maybe it was mostly because it's a lot. I think what we learned from the bills as bad as the defenses and everything is They are a tough out. We saw that with the Rams, right? The Rams had them dead to rights.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They didn't belong in that game at all. They're a tough out, and when they get up, they're going to get up too much, and it's going to be hard to come back on them. So it might just be enough. By the way, that MVP run, it should be an SB probably for multi-view player of the year, but that MVP is over. I don't know if in reality Saquon ever had a chance, but he's minus 900 now, Josh Allen.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's over.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
So, but how many teams could beat him? Like, you know, like, I don't know. They already beat... I know they never count the Chiefs out. Now with Mahomes, it might get sketchy anyway. But who stops them in the AFC? You think like Lamar? Like heads up?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
In August? I thought we did well in August. No, you're right. Yeah. I had enough of the Browns and the Raiders and just shitty teams like that. You learned though. You learned. You learned. I'm still betting Will Levis. I learned a lot.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
But imagine what her reaction would be If she had watched the 10 AM, the 1 PM games out here and then watch Josh Allen. Oh my God, this side doesn't belong in the league or those guys don't want one or the other because they're playing a different brand of football.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I thought really bad. And they only had two drives in the second half, if I'm not mistaken, I look it up and yeah, I think they just walked into a situation where Philadelphia, you know, first of all, the AJ Brown thing, the squeaky wheel, AJ Brown figured it out. Yeah. If I'm Jahan Dodson, the third string wide receiver, I'm complaining all week.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Talk about how he and Jalen Hurts relationship has changed over the last two months. You'll see your targets will go up, but yeah. And Barkley didn't even have that great a game, but he left, he was gone for the whole second quarter. Yeah. I like the Eagles, but I still don't understand. I based it on Russ, and I'm like, this guy's got to have a bad game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
He really didn't have that terrible a game. He really didn't. They just never really, I don't know. I know time of possession will indicate this, but the drives were great for Philadelphia. They didn't squander any opportunities.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, they have trouble there, too. I think they lost their last nine or last nine against the spread in Philadelphia. So I kind of like everything. I took that. That was a win for me. I took them adjusted nine and a half Philly, which was outrageous because Tomlin as an underdog is usually good. But I just figured. And so now they're locked in as a three pretty much.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I know we're going to play the few, although the Ravens is a big one now. We have the Ravens to win the division. We're back in it a little bit.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. Maybe I think you're right with this weird 10 day stretch. Maybe we do like I do in the NBA where you take both teams minus nine and a half. I don't know what the equivalent would be in football, but it's not, it should be, we should have known this week was going to be weird with the crap fast Thursday game, San Francisco and the Rams. That was so bad too.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Is there an MVP case for George Pickens? Maybe that should be a separate award, right?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. Very weird because it seemed like Baker was going to have a reckless type of game, right? And then he just righted the ship. I feel like Herbert, you know, he was really only like Thursday where he came off the injured list. He did not look good at all. Yeah, he wasn't thrown with force.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Well, yeah, because there are four teams, right? And you kind of have to win like all 12 games before you lose a game, right? To make money. I don't know. It's tough. That game sucked. The whole day sucked. I was so disappointed. It was like nine hours of Tyson versus Paul. Like this was supposed to be a great day. It's still football, so it's great.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Do you think they're afraid of the, well, they're afraid of the result because what were you like 130% conversion on fourth down with Belichick and Brady? Brady had got stepped, I think twice out of 1200 plays.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Right. So maybe that's the thing. I'm exaggerating, but. No, maybe not. Look back. I don't, you know, listen, I have you right where I want you. I want you to be infatuated with this Drake May because otherwise you get sidetracked and we talk about the NBA cup and pretend that it's great for 15 minutes every Sunday. I love it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They were excellent. And I just think we have to look at Josh Jacobs for these next few weeks like we look at Barkley and we look at Henry. He's just going to take control of games. I really do. I don't know what happened. I don't know what kicked into gear. I mean, he's been good all year. Tonight he was special.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. That said, they're plus 180. I mean, the Rams didn't impress me at all Thursday night. I know it was in the rain and everything, but I feel like 49ers dropped seven balls on offense and defense today.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
one of them catch it's a different story but guys quitting on the sidelines they're in the game yeah yeah that's all kind of stuff happening uh plus 180 though for seattle they could they could i know you're down on them right now and you have enough on it but i could see them well gino got hurt what happened to gino right that's true we have to see i know it was a knee injury so yeah how mr howell's not taking him anywhere i was really i gotta say i was really disappointed in seattle
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, that game was disgusting. That Cooper Cup with a massive middle finger to fantasy owners. I mean, no catches. Like an Andre the Giant-sized middle finger. And they still won that game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
But not one game was solidly compelling from start to finish. I'm so disappointed. I didn't even lose that much money.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Well, they end with the two teams in their division, right? I do think this is the one division that'll come down to week 18. They're home against Seattle on January 5th.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
That pass was so bad, too. So bad. That was one of the worst of the day. And because he got sandwiched. Meanwhile, the guy from behind didn't really get him at all. There was nothing illegal or nothing, you know, even close. But from the front, it looked worse than it was. Some of these pass, the roughing the passers are like Justin Fields got one. It's like, I don't know.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
There's been some really bad ones. They're like, oh, well, they hit him high. It's like, yeah, because he went low at the very last second. Otherwise, that's not high.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You're selling Arizonas? You don't like them 7-1 for the division?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Oh, no, no, no, no. They always. Oh, yeah, you're right, because if Baltimore falls in that four or five, they may not give it. They're not putting Lamar in the Shakey's game. He's too good. Right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, yeah, that would be that where that goes. So then the other NFC South gets the Shakey's game where you really think Pittsburgh in the Shakey's.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Oh, yeah, you're right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, I know. You're right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They like a cold one, though. Last year it was the Chiefs, right? It could be Buffalo. They might do Buffalo there. So Chargers at Buffalo, Harbaugh goes to Buffalo? Maybe. Yeah, that's good enough. They got enough to talk about there. Chargers will actually have fans more than they did today. It'll be interesting.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Well, you're right. If Geno Smith's iffy, they don't have a chance. It is weird. He should be better at home, though. We went over stats on the pregame show. The 12th man does nothing for him.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Is the referee's name Dan Quinn? I mean, I know that was... Look, I'm not saying... The league got in their ears because everybody had Washington on a teaser and they needed to screw everyone over. But the refs stopped the clock. Sorry, fast forwarding to 20 to 13. Rattler to Foster Moreau, nine seconds left, clearly inbounds. And the refs stopped the clock for no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And then they score with three seconds left and then they go for two, which would have killed money line parlays, but it was enough at 20 to 19 to kill the minus seven and a half switch went to one and a half. That was bizarre. And then they taught, they, they said they screwed it up after the game and they're like, but we can't review that. We're not allowed to review that.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
So they can make the worst error you can imagine that everybody could see and agree to it right then, but they can't change it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Poor House, I know. But listen, for us, we have to be looking forward to, we have to zone in on who's the team we want to root against in the playoffs or bet against in the playoffs. This Washington team's got all the makings, I think.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, I guess we didn't talk Mahomes getting hurt, but that's about it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
He's definitely not playing this Saturday, right? No question.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, but that said, not playing Saturday and for sure playing. Oh, because they need him on Christmas. He has to play Christmas. Netflix spent way too much money on that game, right?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
He's playing that game. That's what I'm saying. But not this week. And that's why... Yeah, I mean, Netflix offered Jackson Mahomes a stand-up special. They offered... They'll do whatever they can to get him there. The wife could be in Squid Game 3. Whatever they want, he's playing in that game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Well, because they're two up on Buffalo, right? One and a half, technically, because they lose the tiebreaker. So be it if they lose the one game, but then there'll be two left. There'll be a half game up. Also, if I'm them, I'm fine. Oh, no, we're the two seed.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's tough, man.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And speaking of fucking, you're fucking tied with me right now. It's 7-7. I know. I know. 7-7-1, week 16. You haven't beaten me since 1932. Stop it. Before then. I was off on a few, but we'll see. Let's see. I hit this one exactly, though. I know you're going to think that's bullshit, but I did hit the Thursday night one. Guess the lines Thursday night.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And that's what it was today. Does that make sense? Let's think about this. It was three against Tampa. Denver is equal to Tampa, even though the Chargers got slaughtered. I think Tampa's a little better than Denver. Tampa's a little better than Denver, right? Tampa's better, but keep the three because Tampa's better. All right, yeah, that's fine. A lot of Broncos fans.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You didn't even mention the worst one. Who? It was Tua. I mean, it really is the worst. I don't know when in the order you want to get to that game.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And now we're going to bankrupt Fandle as a result. And you can thank my Cowboys for beating the Panthers. You can thank that's one step closer.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
That really helped us. Because it's a big day. Yep. Two Saturday games.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Edge out there. You'll get this next one, though. Texans, too.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Oh, man, you got me. I thought you were going to go lower now. I said three and a half. It's six and a half. So I think we could hedge a little with our Ravens. Yeah, I mean, we could cover this. We won't win both, but we could take six and a half. And they can win an 18-16 game like they played in November.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, we did the whole AFC. Did we do that before the season or like week one? No, we saw like a month of action. They were like, this is stupid. We got it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It is a lot. I wonder what they, they're just predicting, like they're going to melt down at this point. Like they, you know, all right. Tomlin has them over 500 like he always does. And now we see them slip to the six seed or whatever.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I know stats-wise he wasn't the worst, and I might just be saying this because he screwed my fantasy season. I switched him out for Bo Nix at the last minute, but Tua is number one. And in terms of who I wouldn't want on my team, and I'm sorry, I know Dolphins fans are going to get mad at me and us, but the way he contorts his body, I mean, there's three things he does that are horrible. Yeah.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, I think it's Eagles-Washington. Yeah, I think you're right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Why not five?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I think that's the only reason. 26-18, the last game, I was in Philly. Yeah, I guess. I'm down on Washington. I don't know why.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They never punted. Yeah, and they were a two-point conversion away from a terrible team from losing today.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I got this exactly three and a half.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And, um, I mean, it's going to be more if there's no Geno Smith, but it seems like he's playing.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, I don't think so. I think he'll just become like a great running back, whatever. He'll go where he goes. I mean, who was the last great one? Bijan? I mean, the last one that went, did he go 10? Bijan was pretty high. Yeah, he was top 10.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Where did they get that from?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I guess as of tomorrow, I guess it will be. So Atlanta's favored by five and a half over the Vegas, but Jaguars, they suck too. I don't know.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
His body language is such that he turns his body, which allows the D-backs to jump the route. No other quarterback really does it like this. And then he puts, you know, I'm glad this guy's in stable condition that they, you know, they had to rip the jersey off and everything. But this is what's going to happen with Tua. Also, he's obviously injury prone.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
There's got to be somebody that has a... Let's go to our next-gen stats and see who fucks up more good passes.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Oh, you get this. I said eight. It's seven. Oh, you're right. I do fucking get it. You get it. You get it, man. Do you not have San Francisco, Miami? Isn't that weird that that's at best a fairly watchable? That game will be awful. No, I know, but it's... Their fans don't want to watch that game. But if I would have told you Tua's the starter for Miami and Purdy's the starter for San Francisco.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I know. It's a brutal watch. You just took Tua at number one in the bad community. I know. I know. A month ago, if you would have said this, but they suck.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
West going east. McVay, yeah, they let down maybe a little bit. They need the game, bro. They have extra rest. We'll see McVay, extra rest, stats and everything. You get it. It's three. I said two.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Also, he can't win in cold weather playing in the AFC East. I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'll keep sending him Christmas cards. I'll never stop. But he's the worst.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All right. I get this. I said Miami by three. It's Miami by two and a half. Oh, wow.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's interesting because they showed the DJ's record against teams that are above 500. But I feel like Shanahan's getting there too. He's getting there too lately.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
We did.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I know. This was the week. That's why today was the day to celebrate, and it's great. But yeah, those Saturday games, screw it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They're good. I said eight. It's ten and a half. This is going to be your week. Eight to five, you're up. I'm going to try not to watch any of that game. Can we see the Falcons a little first before we make them a 10.5 point favorite? Can we see them Monday night? Sunday might be a let's not even do a pod. Is that right? I don't know. Do we even need to do it? Look at these games.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They're terrible. Well, you might, you know, you might. The Sunday night game is Tampa Bay-Dallas.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Vegas zone right there. Good luck to both of those teams.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
There's some bad ones here.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
These are all stay-aways.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, that was bad. He I felt like he broke his wrist the way he's fumbling, fumbling that game away. But yeah, this was 21-14 when they played in October. I had Bengals by six at home over the Browns. I get this. I said seven and a half. It's seven. That's your teaser game. You love it.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. Yikes. I won't be depressed, Simmons, after this game. Thank God. Thank God they didn't beat the Bengals last week because now I would have been looking at seven and seven. Could they catch Washington?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Wait, do I have a chance here? I'm sure you do because you cheat. No, I don't. Well, first of all, I was way off on the Monday, but I have I had three. It's three and a half.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You have a four-point cushion. Best of luck to you. Thank you.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All right. I said eight and a half because I'm an idiot. It's 12 and a half.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Right.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You're going to have a 13 point. You'll have a 13 point teaser with Pittsburgh plus 19 and a half Atlanta over the Giants. You'll figure something out. I can't believe the Seahawks let me down like that.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All right. What do I have? Well, a couple of things. My oldest is home. Came back from Oregon like Thursday night. Right. So first night home. He's not going out with his friends. I'm like, oh, that's cool. We'll stay home. We'll watch. We want to watch Goodfellas for the 907th time. He's like, no, let's watch some NBA. I was like, oh, Jesus. So he's an NBA hole.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Listen, he is on the site that this is what he claims. He claims it gives you play money that you can turn into real money, but you can't lose real money. So he's gam. I'm like, all right, I'm not going to investigate further. I know what you're doing. I invented this shit. It's fine. He's got... like six NBA parlays go on. He's live betting all these games. He's like, no, wait till this team.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, if Dallas goes down nine, I'm going to hit him now. I'm like, it's like, my son is like Raheem Palmer. He came home from college. I got a burner room. He's got a burner room. And then like in the NBA, you'll go, there'll be a 19 to two run and you'll be either on the good or the bad side of it. It's amazing. So that was that, that, that scared me so proud.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, I was proud and I was terrified at the same time. So that's him. Quickly, my middle son. Next Saturday is a great sports day. Now, I thought today was going to be a great sports day too, but here's what you got, Simmons. I know you don't care college. Tennessee, Ohio State. All right, the football games are going to be tremendous. Tennessee, Ohio State, Penn State, SMU, Texas, Clemson.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
We talked about Chiefs, Texans, Steelers, Ravens. Usyk versus Fury. Oh, I'm aware. It's a It's a monster day. My guy is sick. Yes. I want to just veg out in front of the TV. I want to lose a ton of money. I want to drink non-alcoholic eggnog, whatever I have to do.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
The problem is my son Jack has a wrestling tournament and he could potentially do well in it because it's a JV tournament and it's all day and it's all the fights way the fuck somewhere else. And here's the thing. There's 40 kids on the team. Only 13 of them right now don't have ringworm or empitago. Empatago is like a staph infection. You get it from the mat.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
These schools say they clean the mat. They don't clean the mat. These kids come back sweaty. They don't shower and they have everybody's dirty sweat closes up. It's the most disgusting sport you can play. It is gross. He's going to wrestling practice. He weighs 126. There's so few kids now. He's rolling with like a 155 pounder. I'm like, what's going on here?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
So I was like, listen, I don't ask for much. but I need Saturday. Please, please do what you can to get Empatago. Please do it. Don't tell your mother. Can you lick the mat? Yes. Go all the roll, stay extra, stay afterwards, whatever you have to do. He's looking at me like I'm serious. Get Ringworm. Do what you can.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
So I will keep you posted, but I need this boy to get Ringworm so I can watch Penn State SMU. Here's $200. I want you to lick the mat after practice for three minutes. After everyone else looks at Matt, give them each 50. What a sports day that is. You're a Usyk.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. I just wish we knew how these guys train.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. Maybe Fury.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Everyone's home. Six refrigerators for different animals.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I don't know what's going on here. We're going to get in Patago drinking all those coffee mates. That's for sure. Did you see...
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, I haven't seen it. I heard we're on a text chain when you were discussing it. He's so evil. He goes evil. He should get off the poster.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I'm going to have to check it out. I got a bunch of my cue. I end up watching dumb shit like the New York Stack Exchange, the Mark Gastineau. I listen to him carry on for an hour and a half. But anyway. Did you watch that documentary? Because I didn't watch it. Yeah, I'm like 40 minutes in. I just can't get enough of that nonsense.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Anything? Oh, yeah. Through the ringer with Tate on Wednesday. By the way, the kid's breaking news left and right. On that show, on December 4th, he can only say so much. He was instrumental in getting this thing going with Lombardi and Belichick. I thought he was going to be there as the athletic director. I think they offer you, but you should be careful.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I think they offer him some kind of ambassadorship or something like to help with the culture or something, but it's good for him though. I mean, this is good. This worked out great for you, right? Like, cause he retires a Patriot. He's not going to go three years with UNC and then end up with Seattle. Right. So that's it. He's a Patriot.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's got to say the bear and then UNC. We're going to see it. I want an hour and 20 minutes and then mention the ring of pregame show. I'm 13 and two with my wisest wager. Good, good job by me. I had the Ravens. Come on.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You wanted to put them in a teaser. You're like, will it get to 14? Can I tease? I'm like, just take 16 and a half. It's fine. It's good.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Can I simplify it a little bit with another food analogy? He's the Krispy Kreme. He gets creamed. He's the creamed and crispy, but the Krispy Kreme has to be perfect. But whenever you have a Krispy Kreme, they're like, oh no, you have to have it right when it's out of the oven.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Just sitting them in the locker room before the game like, fuck, we got to fucking play the Giants. The Giants want this first pick so bad. They want it so bad. So that's it. Cousin Sal's winning weekend on Friday and against the odds twice a week. We're 12-4 with our NBA picks. Only place you need to go on Ringer if you want to make money betting hoops. There you go.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
You know, if the Giants got Sanders, that would be super fun.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Just watching that Mara, just watching Mara and reading about him. I don't know if he wants to put up with the whole Sanders family. Yeah, I don't think so. I think that's a Cam Ward team, to be honest. Where would you play Hunter, receiver or cornerback? I think it's fun. If the Patriots get him, why do you have to only give them two options? They could do anything. Make him a running back.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
That's going to be the issue, right? But I don't know. Deion himself played wide receiver and deep back, so maybe it could happen.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah. I think he's fine. You should watch it. Did you watch his acceptance speech? I think you'll get on his case. It's four and a half minutes. Just do it. It's better than Jason Bateman. Yeah, it's good. Better than Jason Bateman? Well, I can't compare it. I didn't see.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's gotta be 80 degrees and it's gotta be outdoors and the receivers have to be healthy and he's gotta get rid of the ball in three seconds. But if you have a three-day-old Krispy Kreme or one-day-old or that night, forget it. We're talking about donuts.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
No, I even thought, well, maybe, first of all, it was 78 degrees in Houston. I don't know why I thought that. It was 78 degrees. It's like a Cowboys-type dome where you can still feel the outside and see the sky, but whatever. So he's my number one. I know that's dumb to take him over somewhere.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Yeah, it's like you're in school, brother.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I feel like that's another insurance ad that we'd be pounded with. You're in safe hands with Hayner. And then there he is throwing like, yeah, he had the headshots that got him the job. And then Rattler came in. Yeah, we could talk about the end of that game later. That was insane.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
It's a few reasons. Jacoby would get carpal tunnel syndrome trying to write that article in 2000. Oh my God.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
All right, well, these are going to be personal because I stupidly had Tennessee as my upset. Come on, don't laugh at that. That's not nice.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
I mean, why do I do it, though? I mean, at least you hadn't seen Hainer, right? At least there could have been a surprise in there. How much data do I have to see on Will Levis before I stop betting on him or betting on that team? And I now think of it now as like, These teams like Cincinnati, if they want to look good, play a Will Levis.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Like if I want to look good in a family photo, I'll stand next to my fattest relative, right? This is what the Bengals did. They found the fattest relative as Will Levis. 10 turnovers in that game. Not all Will Levis, although it seemed like it. He's disgusting. He's gross.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
They took him out. They shouldn't have taken him out. They should have punished him further for that.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
My fault.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
That's how you know the difference. All right. Who's your next one? All right. You have a dual entry there. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. Some good ones. You know what? I know there's some lesser experienced guys. I should probably go with Mac Jones. Just like when I had him on my board, of course, how could he not?
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
And, you know, I guess when you have coach middle seat, like everything's going to look bad anyway. But Mac Jones still making rookie mistakes. And I think we saw the same play. They were driving. It was like third and I was like second and second. Right, right, right. And he rolled right. And he had time. He had like everybody beat. He wasn't going to make it to the end zone.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
But he did not have to step out of bounds. And he sure as hell did. He could have flung it into the third row and it would have been fine. And it's like, oh, man, I have money on that guy, too. This is awful. Why are they even playing the early games? Yeah, a little. I always bet against the Jets.
The Bill Simmons Podcast
A Bad QB Draft, Josh Wins Multi-view MVP, Philly’s the NFC Shot Caller, and Guess the Lines with Cousin Sal
Does that scare you a little bit? Because you praise your guy, Drake May, and everything.