Colin Sledge
Appearances
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Thank you. So I used to work at the mall at Express. One time, these two ladies were in the same fitting room. And when that happens, apparently you're supposed to say, I'm sorry, we only allow one person at a time in the fitting rooms. But what I said was, oh, yeah. In my head, it was really quiet, you know, but they said I shouted it. I always say the wrong thing, you know?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Like, I was hooking up with this girl, and she was like, you know, talk dirty to me. And I was like, what do you want me to say? I'll just say whatever you want, just tell me what to say. And she was like, just make me feel like a slut. I was like, you're such a slut, you're having sex with me. And at the end, she was like, did you even cum? I was like, bitch, did you?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I mean, man. My friends say I have resting serial killer face.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
What would surprise you about me? I quit comedy for eight years and I just sort of got back six months ago.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Yeah, they could tell in high school just the other kids, but I had to pay a lot of money and I didn't get diagnosed until I was like 27 or something. Wow. But yeah, they had me go to like an autistic support group, but I was... Just a bunch of guys staring at the wall? Yeah. I was too high functioning for that. Okay. You were? I was the most charismatic guy there. Jesus Christ.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Must have been a real who's who. Yeah. And so I had to find, like I was too high functioning for the autistic people and not high functioning enough for the normal people, so I started doing open mics and those are sort of- That's perfect, yeah. Bridges the gap, you know? Amazing. Thank you. Amazing, Colin.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I worked at the mall. You did? Wow, what did you do at the mall? I yelled at ladies going in changing rooms.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
I like just cleaning, you know. Cleaning. Yeah, folding shapes.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
This is the only thing I've memorized. Chopstick. This is Charlie Brownshake. Can I have a piano?
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
There is? Yeah, there's multiple pedals. Well, I'm not doing that again.
KILL TONY
#708 - H. FOLEY + KEVIN RYAN
Well, I kept writing for the eight years, so I don't... You have a lot of material. I have a lot of material. Okay.