I’m a Sociopath: Patric Gagne’s Story
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Welcome to We Can Do Hard Things. We are psyched today. We have a fascinating guest today that I have been listening to and reading and have learned so much, not just about her, but about all of us from her work. Her name is Patrick Gagne, and she is a writer, former therapist, and advocate for people with sociopathic, psychopathic, and antisocial personality disorders. Her New York Times bestselling memoir, Sociopath, so good, so good, shares her struggle to understand her own sociopathy and shed light on this often maligned and misunderstood mental disorder. Welcome, Patrick. How are you?
Thank you. I'm so good. How are you guys?
Really good. We're good. Patrick, what is a sociopath?
All right, so very simply put, a sociopath is somebody who has difficulty connecting to social emotions, who sees or uses manipulation strategies and destructive behaviors as a sort of maladaptive coping mechanism. And that isn't always understood. I understand that a lot of people, when they talk about sociopathy, it's, oh, sociopaths can't feel. But the truth is we very much can in that there are inherent emotions associated meaning everyone is born with them. These are things like anger, anticipation, joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust. These are inherent. But there is another set of emotions known as the social emotions. Embarrassment, love, shame, jealousy, guilt, empathy. These are learned emotions.
Sociopaths have a harder time connecting to these emotions. In the book, I refer to it as an emotional learning disability because I remember being a kid watching the other kids sort of grasp these emotions instantly. And I didn't, I had a very, very difficult time. It's sort of like needing glasses. Without my glasses, I'm physically capable of reading, but it's just that sometimes I have to squint. And that's a lot like how I experienced the social emotions. And it can be challenging because I'm not living in a world that's native to me, so to speak. But I also want to clarify that sociopathy is different from psychopathy. A psychopath is believed to suffer from certain biological impediments that make it impossible for them to move through complex emotional development. So while they can feel those inherent emotions just like everyone else, they are incapable of learning the social emotions, whereas sociopaths are capable and they just struggle.
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