Upstairs Neighbors
Leaving $500 on the Parking Lot Floor | Concrete Dive Early Access!
Wed, 02 Apr 2025
We welcome you back to another episode of Upstairs Neighbors! Today your neighbors are live from the concrete dive to discuss the universe putting them up to the test and fine ass comedians. Enjoy! Ask and you shall receive Patreon is LIVE: Click here to Subscribe to our Patreon Video Available on our Youtube Channel Upstairs Neighbors Podcast ☆ IG: @upstairsneighborspod Tiktok: @upstairsneighborspod Follow our Hosts: Maya IG: Mayamoto_ Maya Tik Tok: Mayahasatiktok Dom IG: Domrobxrts Dom Tiktok: Domnotateenmom
Chapter 1: What happened at the Hollywood improv?
Oh wow, oh wow. I'm getting money. I'm like y'all ain't got no table here. But they did have Capri Suns in the green room.
No, they did have hella Capri Suns in the green room. Guys, what the hell?
Not the Hollywood improv.
Guys, not the Hollywood improv. Insider training. Guys, you know we have no home training. This is our first time doing some for real shit. For real, for real. We were in the green room looking at everyone who's performed here and we were like, uh-uh.
No, because what it's really giving is I'm like, okay, so we done get on the mic, I'm gonna tell y'all real shit every week and it's funny. Women's problems are funny, you know what I mean? I'm like, oh, I guess it's hilarious. And it's funny, yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, oh my God, hello everyone. I'm like this, my Shaylas. Jesus Christ, this is crazy, this is crazy.
How was parking? It was kind of fucked up, right?
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Chapter 2: How did parking affect the event experience?
People found spots. And I love when great things happen to other people. Right, I'm like, okay, that's awesome. Not what happened to us at all, but anyway. Or Sav had to. Sav had to get cash because we live in, I don't know, 800 BC. I was like, girl. And we were all like, Venmo? Zo? He was like, cash. I was like, fuck you. Please. No, Bitcoin? I'm like, hold on, let me sign up.
Damn, y'all don't give a fuck about it.
Girl, anyway. Me backing up, I'm like, anyway. Fine, fine. Because I'm like this, hey, like everyone, shit.
Guys, thank you so much for coming and also for selling this out. Like, that's crazy as hell.
Fucking crazy.
You have to sell it crazy. Because if we didn't sell this out, that'd be a lot.
No, no, I'm really like, woo!
and I'm having a good time you guys also came literally the day before our one year anniversary which has been like some crazy shit so it's giving like season finale my loves like tomorrow we're I was about to say some crazy shit um tomorrow we're celebrating and we're living life and we're gonna still be alive yes yes yes we're gonna be celebrating life playing dress to impress yes we're playing dress to impress tomorrow and you know what
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Chapter 3: What is the story behind the serendipitous meeting?
oh guys we're literally playing it on my macbook pro no so i'm like when you hear that shit trying to fly i'm like um y'all get it like no like we're gonna hit post through my computer's gonna explode like so get in while you can about five minutes but anyway um we're here in hollywood and i just felt like it was appropriate if you like you know if you listen to the pod the story's like cooked as fuck but like this is like where dominic met like as on some crazy shit like on some crazy shit on some like outside the bar shit like on some like
On some serendipitous shit. On some beautiful ass shit. We held like, right?
Like on some serendipitous shit. No, it was gorgeous hell. Let me paint the picture. Y'all have heard this story a thousand times.
Yeah. And I'm like, we got to tell one more, add one more detail. You know what I mean? It makes it sweeter.
Go ahead. Oh my, guys, no table, no water. Like, okay. So I'm like, yeah. And then. So I won't be coughing up here. Okay, fuck me. It was a cold and stormy night. And, you know, I was leaving drunk as fuck out the club. It was someone's birthday. And yeah, my Uber was like two minutes away as fuck. And I go downstairs and I'm like, who's that half Filipino girl who's also like fucked up? Like, no.
Right. Oh my God. And she's going to heaven.
Y'all are going to hell. She's going to hell. I love women. Like, I love when women, like, dot, dot, dot, insert something, like, period. No, I was also, like, uncharacteristically, like, fucked up outside the club. Like, also was on my way out.
Like, wow. Serendipitous. I know. And you always have a glimmer in your eye when you're drunk.
Like, Maya just looks at you, like... Because, personally, for me, in my house, like, I'm one of those drunks where, like... I'm like, y'all ain't ever loved nobody before. It's just fucking weird. I mean, I feel like that's usually my thesis on life. I like to live, laugh, and I like to love when possible, but off the core, I'm like, I'm about to kiss you. I'm about to kiss you platonically.
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Chapter 4: Why should you be cautious about giving your phone during a connection request?
staring down at you, like begging for attention, like, please, please, please look in my direction so I can talk to you, please, please. Wouldn't you be annoyed? Wouldn't you be like, oh my God, leave, like two beautiful girls are talking right now? That's, huh? Yeah, that's what it was giving, down. And of course, Maya is so much nicer than me, okay? She is. This is facts.
I just was like, you know, it's hard. It's hard to go up to somebody and be like, hey, can I see something, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know. And let alone, I couldn't even fucking hear. Apparently, he was hella talking to me, and I was like, he was, and I was like, shh, enough. Which is, like, call this man out his name. I really did. Out his name. Like literally it was like, move.
You, I would have been like, whoa, whoa. I wasn't, you know what I mean?
That was close to what I did. I actually went, are you talking to him? Worse, worse. I should have never, that's horrible. That's fucking horrible and you should never do that because if someone did that to me, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we'd have to turn it up.
Unload the clip. But yeah, that's literally how we met. I hope that rat's doing good though.
He did so much for us, and he'll never know.
He'll never know, and it is hard out here for a piece of cheese. Is it not? Shit, they're taking eggs, next is cheese.
Load up, people. And I can't say I disagree, and I will say, even just thinking about this, it brings up, y'all, there's real scams on the street right now, okay? I've been getting toll ticket tags, blah, whoopty scoopty scoop, okay? But let's talk about the real scam. Woo!
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Chapter 5: What unexpected event occurred at the Glendale Galleria?
It's gone. And we stalled for a cool three minutes.
No, no, no, because we did the thing, right? We were like...
oh fuck yes and then we're like damn but like because see right if it was not right under the car door you know what i mean then we could you know if it was like in the middle of the street then it's really divine like straight up no no i'll take it no because that would no because that was what i had just like if we're being real that's like what i had just spent so like if i would have pocketed that like all this shit would have been free but here's the thing
Here's the thing though, here's the thing, I'm gonna keep it real. Cause I will say that I immediately was like, no. And like, I, in my honest heart, like I'm like, I did not say it was an easy fucking, like I'm not saying that I was like, oh yeah, like whatever bitch. But my thought process was literally like, we sat, we thought about it. And at first we were like, yeah, you know what I mean?
But then it was like, genuinely the thought that had me like, let's go to the car. was like, if I pick this shit up right now, and a fucking camera comes out, and they're dead ass like, oh, bro, like, we just trying to see what you would do, like, if we drop $400, and I'm not ready to be like, yeah, bitch, I took, I wasn't ready, you know what I mean?
Like, in my head, like, I played that out, and I was like, I would hella be like, oh, no, I'm sorry, I feel so, and if that's what you're doing, go ahead and let that shit sit.
See, that's what I mean. Go ahead and let that shit sit. I'm gonna be the honest one, and let y'all.
I'm like, that's my truth, that's my truth, that's my truth.
no no no because i mean it was literally right under the car so it is kind of awky to just like get down on all fours and start barking while i fucking pick up that money like god like a dog i work day and night like i work day and night i work day and night like a dog my urban bag like shit
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Chapter 6: How did Maya and Dom handle finding $400 on the ground?
arguably changed my life at that moment.
But I was just like, ain't no way like karmically, I'm like, I know there's better.
Yeah, having to scrounge for some, that was not changed.
That was not changed though. See, but that's what made it harder. You know, and that's what made it feel like it was a test. Because I was like, $300? Y'all don't give a fuck. If I literally dropped $300, I would literally take one step and be like, my leg lighter, my leg lighter. Like, what the fuck are we talking about? No, dead the fuck ass.
Like, I literally would have been like, where's my fucking money at?
You bring up such a good point. First off, if I had $300 cash, that's going to be on this nipple right here. I'm going to feel that shit the whole fucking time I got $300 on me. Cash, that's going to be this nipple popping out. My best one. You know what I mean? Real bad.
I'm going to hold on to that shit.
Right? Like my sister's keeper. She's holding on to that shit for dear life. Okay? Fuck the noise. So... If they really gave a fuck about that money. They really gave a fuck about that money. Their best nipple would have felt that shit missing and they would have gone back for it. And there was no frantic person running out to the GLC bus down AMG Mercedes.
No, like the air was still.
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Chapter 7: What are Maya's thoughts on Luigi's latest pictures?
That is actually the only fucking argument ever.
That's the fork in the road for us, for sure.
Because like Maya, she sees her Luigi, and she's like, give me that.
Well, because in my head, I'm like, bitch, YOLO. Listen, one of these days, I'm going to drop over dead. And so I'm going to try. Do you know what I mean? And also, here's the thing. Let me try to convince you a little bit. Because here's my thing. When somebody's like really sick, nasty, bad, like pull that shit the fuck out, bad, like bitch, like you're bad. You know what I mean?
Like nobody's denying you're fucking bad as fuck. As fuck. As fuck. I'm like, okay, so I shoot my shot and I fuck and I miss. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts feel about scamming and making mistakes?
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Dead. I swear to God, I literally can't even make this fucking shit up. I was like, I can't be living through this shit, yo. Like, I can't. Like, I can't. Like, bitch, you done stole the fucking mints. You done stole the fucking cookies. Now I'm at hibachi. They're throwing shrimp in my mouth.
And I'm like... Hella throwing egg in your mouth. Like, open up. You're like, bitch, I'm about to... I don't even want the fucking shrimp.
No way. I don't even want the fucking shrimp. Like, dead ass. Like, someone else take it. I love hibachi, though. Insane vibes.
Insane vibes.
Insane vibes. So if you have a nice grandma, make some noise.
Oh, wow. I'm like, y'all can make noise. Like, it's safe.
No, guys, it's safe. Unless if you have a bad grandma. Oh, shit. Okay, I'm with my people. I'm with my people.
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