Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
BONUS EPISODE: John Rushton: Navigating Human Emotions and the Power of Storytelling
Wed, 15 Jan 2025
Send us a textWhat if you could navigate the complexities of human emotion with the guidance of a warm, non-judgmental figure? Join us as we welcome emotions expert and seasoned traveler John Rushton, who shares his unique creation, Auntie Bronwyn, a fictional character beloved by many for her empathetic insights. Drawing from his extensive travels, John reveals how Auntie Bronwyn helps individuals from all walks of life embrace their emotions and embark on a journey of self-discovery. Through his latest book, "The Anthology of Antti Bromwen," and engaging radio stories, John highlights the transformative power of storytelling and empathy in understanding ourselves.Our exploration also leads us to the digital realm, where an online advice platform mirrors the classic "Dear Abby" style, offering straightforward guidance in a world cluttered by social media noise. Listen in as we discuss how this platform has become a haven for authenticity, providing users with practical advice that cuts through societal pressures. The discourse delves into the evolution of this space over a decade, underscoring the timelessness of genuine human connection and insight. Excitingly, John hints at the potential for these stories to spring to life through animated adaptations, promising a multi-medium experience for the audience.We round off our conversation by stressing the importance of self-prioritization. John passionately discusses how valuing oneself as the most significant figure in one's life fosters an invincible inner strength that benefits not only the individual but also those around them. By embracing self-worth, we enable ourselves to better support others. The episode concludes with a heartfelt exchange of gratitude for the rich discussion, leaving listeners with a renewed perspective on personal value and the shared human experience.https://tonymantor.comhttps://Facebook.com/tonymantorhttps://instagram.com/tonymantorhttps://twitter.com/tonymantorhttps://youtube.com/tonymantormusicintro/outro music bed written by T. WildWhy Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Chapter 1: What insights does John Rushton share about his fictional character Auntie Bronwyn?
Can we get a little insight on your most recent book and what it's about?
There's a story to it. It's a long story, but I won't go into that. But it's a story about people's aspects of people's lives. And it came about from my sort of previous books, which are all about emotions, why people do what they do, or maybe they shouldn't do what they do. This came to some radio programs, which I was on, and people were phoning in about various aspects of their lives.
I mean, not just, oh, I feel like, not that kind of, but I mean, real problems which they were having to overcome themselves, some with other people, families, friends, whatever. And it came to a level where it was difficult to respond to them all from a personal point of view, because everybody today is waiting to be offended or upset or something like that.
You know, they're accused of people, oh, I'm me next, me next, please offend me, and all that kind of thing. So we came up one evening with some friends and maybe a couple of glasses of wine that we would actually have a fictitious character. And the formulated one, and we called her Auntie Bronwyn. And she had a, we created her character and her background, the pedigree.
And she was an elderly lady who has been around, done it, seen it, got the t-shirt, the beanie cap, everything. and now she's come home to retire. But she doesn't want to give up life. She's full of life and wisdom, and she likes her gin and tonic late afternoon. So she's everybody's sort of favorite aunt. But she doesn't take any rubbish from anyone.
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Chapter 2: How does storytelling help in navigating human emotions?
She will say exactly what it is, not necessarily being offensive, but she will say exactly what it is and how it should be. She won't tell you what to do, but she'll say, you know, why on earth did you do that? And then when you do that, the person who's actually asking you the question has to explain themselves. And normally the answer comes out why they explain themselves.
And we did this, and it was so interesting that we decided, or I decided,
to make a book of the transcripts of all the radio interviews that we'd had and there was some amazing people some quite sort of taboo subjects as well but they went for it you know we would listen and we would get other people's aspects of life as to why it happened how it happened and sometimes it was quite sort of heart-wrenching as to
how it happened and why it happened, completely different from a viewpoint where you were saying, what about this? Oh, I don't like that, you know, but have you heard it? No. So you say, well, just listen and then make your judgment. And so this is the book, which is coming out shortly. I think it's 150, 160 chapters.
So it's 160 different stories of people's lives and how they came about changing their lives themselves.
When you hear people that call in, they tell you about their lives, they go into different things that happens during their life, how do you react to that? I mean, you've got an unknown person calling in, bearing their souls to you of their deepest heartfelt feelings and emotions. So how does that affect you?
Maybe I'm just thick-skinned, but I don't know. But... Quickly, I think within the first couple of minutes, you know the kind of person as to what some people just want to air a view about themselves. If you gave them three days airtime, they would be there three days, non-stop, talking about it. Other people just want to talk about an aspect of life which is troubling them.
And usually you find the people who have that minuscule part, that aspect of life, are the ones who are the most interesting.
That's very interesting. I think I'm going to have you expand on that. Because when people are having problems within their lives, they either go to a therapist or close friends. And then sometimes the best therapy they can get for their mental health is talking with someone just like yourself that they don't know, but have respect for what you've done.
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Chapter 3: What challenges do people face when expressing their emotions?
And that's why we actually developed Auntie Bronwyn, this inanimate person. And we found people would actually talk more in depth to Auntie Bronwyn online. I mean, they couldn't see a caricature. And then when she replied, sometimes making fun of them, I mean, not nastily, but saying, why did you do that? What were you thinking of at the time? Don't you think that sounded a bit stupid?
And there's a silence. And then sometimes they burst out laughing. Well, it was, but I did it. All of a sudden, you have this warm rapport which comes out. And it's a free, as opposed to me telling you and you telling me and all of this kind of thing. And it's quite sort of elevating.
Have you had any people that have contacted you? You listened to their problems. You listened to what they had to say. Then you kind of thought that maybe they had more issues than what you wanted to deal with. But you kept working with them, talking with them. And then all of a sudden, things just changed. They changed their way.
which made you feel like you had really helped them move forward with their life.
Yes, I think quite often people have a list of things. It's like going to the doctor and saying, Doctor, I've got something wrong with my finger. And they're winning. Oh, by the way, I have this and a rash here and a spot there and something else. It goes on and on and on. And it's a bit like that at times.
You find, as you just said, if you just go through the first couple of layers, then the rest seems insignificant. If you actually tell them something to the effect that, well, look, there's one enormous thing in life. which can help you, which will make you overcome all of your problems, which will give you the strength and the courage to go forward. And it's called you.
Go and look in the mirror and see that person and think, wow, I am fantastic. I am brilliant. I'm going to come out over on top of all this. And sometimes it doesn't happen with everybody, but a lot of people, by putting similar things in front of them, They realize that, you know, what they're telling me is all about them, which is quite right. But it is all about them.
There's no other person there to solve it but themselves. You know, the world isn't a merchant want out there.
Yeah, right. That's so true. Have you had anyone that's come to you where you just thought, I don't know what to do with them. They are just so far off center. They really, truly needed some professional help. How did you handle that if you had a situation like that?
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Chapter 4: How can self-worth empower individuals?
And I'll quite often say, well, what I'm actually picking up from you, and I give you all my sympathy and respect and love and everything else, but I think you need help over and above what I can give you, because it seems you're in such a place where I'm not qualified to go there or understand where you're from. And sometimes... When you said that, they backed down like a million miles.
Well, because what has happened, they've built up... They're going to come on the radio, so they've been on the phone or on the PC or whatever, and they've built up a scenario as an entree in their own mind. It's grown and grown. When I get online, I'm going to tell them... And okay, you're online. And out it comes. And it's just like the damn gates opening.
You know, it's more than your faucet in your kitchen or your bathroom. It just comes gushing out in millions of gallons. And when you say that and you say, well, I'm sorry, I can't help you. They suddenly back, most of them suddenly back down. And they're quite meek and mild after that. A lot of it's their own fabrication of their own worth and value and their own problems.
And it's almost selfishness like everything. Everything is about me. Of course, you've got to, there's a degree of, it's got to be about you because nobody else can be about you. But it's all always, you know, so much, everything's about me, my friends, my family, the world, everything. Why do they do this to me? How can they do this to me?
And the answer is quite easily because it's not about you. It's how you react to what is happening when you're not reacting well to anything. This is your own making. And that's sobering.
When you've been on the radio, you've had people call in. Have you had instances where you could actually hear the pain in their voice, in what they're going through, and you could tell that it was real and so real that you had to just take a deep breath and stop for a second to formulate your answer so you didn't push them over the edge and you could still help them? I have.
And sometimes you can hear what they are not saying. And quite often, it's the people who are not saying fully. They're being quite nice about their pain and everything else. They're not screaming and sobbing and...
deep breaths and gesticulating and all of this that you can say they're saying it in such a sort of a pleasant way um and i on a number of occasions i've said oh susan or brian or whoever do you know if i was there i would give you the biggest hug ever and then the tears start then it's all gone I said, all right, in your own time, just say bit by bit what it is.
And afterwards, invariably end up with when you say goodbye, that you're laughing to each other on the line.
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Chapter 5: What is the role of online advice platforms in today's society?
She passed away and then her daughter took it over. And I still believe that it runs in select papers across the country. So do you see a similarity between Our Dear Abby and the one that you created in the UK? Quite similar. Quite similar.
The responses are varied. You get some weird people on board anyway. Hey, that's just par for the course. And you get also those people who want to tell you their life story, you know, and you can't get more than 25 pages before it cuts off. And other people will give you two paragraphs or a paragraph. It's quite succinct.
Those are the people who you find you can help the most because they don't waffle. They don't tell you about the weather and when they were going to the store and someone smiled at them and they wondered why. And now they're going to therapy and all this business. The entrepreneur is quite sharp with their answers because there's no good humoring people. because that gets you absolutely nowhere.
I mean, they may not like it, but that's not a problem anyway. So don't like it. Next. For those in between, we had some very, very good responses back saying, well, I took your advice. I didn't want to, but I took your, well, it wasn't, it was we would suggest. We took your suggestions and it's changed immeasurably. It really does work. I do feel better. I feel more in charge of my life.
And sometimes they're very simple things. But you've got so wrapped up in it, it's become habitual. And it's sort of trying to pull out of the habit.
How long have you been doing this online form as it is today? On and off about 10 years. In the 10 years that you've been doing this, what kind of changes have you seen from when you started to the way it is today and the way they form and phrase the questions that they ask you?
I think I can honestly say about 10 years ago when I started, people were more wholesome. They were more down to earth, they were more brisk with what they had to say. They had a problem and they told you the problem and that was it. Today, there's so much social engineering picked up from Instagram and Facebook and so many people telling you, have you got this? Have you got that?
Get this, this will help you do this. Did you fall down and hurt yourself when you were at school? You may be suffering from trauma. I'm 74 years of age. Hello. You know, haven't you got over it yet? It's a bit late now. And all of these kind of things. And they put all, I think, where did you get all this from? Is that true? Or are you just copying and pasting it mentally from somewhere else?
Because there's a lot of copy and paste. You know, they've heard phrases and sayings from the internet. And they're reciting them. It's not smart. It's not good. It has no bearing on you. It's just something you think sounds good. And that's a bit of rubbish because it may sound good, but it doesn't go anywhere.
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Chapter 6: How does John Rushton handle emotional stories from callers?
You know, if they died tomorrow, you would still keep on living. So what is the problem? It's just getting really down to brass tacks.
So the book's been written and it's ready to go. When is the release date for it?
It should have been this month, November, but we're hoping it will be sort of mid-December.
Oh, that's great. So where do you see this going? What type of person do you anticipate is going to be the ones to go out and purchase this and read it? Because you've got all kinds of stories with different issues that people have gone through. So what are you anticipating on that front?
I think there are three areas. There's the one, the person who's interested in sort of people's lives or social understanding of people. There's the person who likes to travel because you can pick up the book and you can travel and read one chapter or chapter one, then chapter 14, then chapter 73, then chapter 122, and then go back.
So you can pick and choose from the index and what you wish to read. And then there's the other person who really just wants sort of a more grounding knowledge of a wide specter of the population as to how they think and feel. When you've read a few, I mean, from the people I've shown it to already, they said, well, I never thought of that. Gosh, that's opened my eyes a bit.
I never even realized that people like that would think like that. And there isn't, you know, and why not? Well, it's because a lot of times things don't cross your mind. You're living your life as best you can. And you're not going around being an amateur psychologist to everybody around you in the store, your friends, your family or whatever.
You have a thing called to live, which is called your own life. And that's the most important thing, because if you're not important to yourself, then nobody else will be. And so it's just those three things. We've even had an interest in a company doing some animation, basically sort of Simpsons style, but not like that.
Having characters and caricatures of the characters involved in various aspects. So there was one in particular, There was an elderly couple, and this is a religious thing, and the husband kept the wife almost locked in at home. He would allow her to go to the store, and she was 45 minutes and any more than that, and he would hit her and everything else. Anyway, this went on.
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Chapter 7: What transformative experiences have people shared with John?
She had no freedom. She didn't know who was who, what's what. And so she went out and asked her and said, are you all right? She said, no, I'm not. She said, I'm lost. She said, where do you live? She said, around the corner. She said, I've never been further than the store. Anyway, they phoned her son, and her son came and took her in, and now she's absolutely enjoying a fabulous life.
And there are lots of stories similar to that where people have just said, enough is enough, and they haven't gone hysterical or going mental. They've just got up and moved.
There's only one person who can do this, me. That's such a great story when we think of mental health. We think autism, ADHD, bipolar, and all those things. Yes. We don't think about mental health being just the everyday burdens of life that some people have to go through.
Yes, that's it. Well, that's what the book contains, a lot of sort of everyday aspects of life, which for some don't go well. And it's not mental health. I mean, both parties are all right, but one has a controlling interest in the other, or some other aspect. And it's that person just saying, I've had enough. I'm going. I don't care why, how, I'm going. And they go.
And it's quite a revelation in what they say and do. And it's quite inspirational, even to myself, that they do that.
Yeah, stress and outside burdens like that put so much on a person and that can affect their mental health just like anything else can. It comes down to, like you said before, how they view themselves, how they view the world, ultimately how they view themselves in that world.
Hopefully, stories like that that you're telling and they're reading will give them the inspiration to change their lives as well.
Yes, yes, yes. Well, there are quite a few like that in the book in different aspects. And that's one of the reasons why I thought I ought to put this down pen to paper and put some of the transcripts down because they were, I thought they were inspiring. And a lot of these people were not loud or brash or anything, but they just had enough.
Yeah, absolutely. Now, you've been on TV, you've been on radio, you've done all the press and all that. Have you done book signings where people have come up to meet you, where some of the people that told their stories that made it into the book, you got to meet face-to-face?
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Chapter 8: How can listeners embrace their self-worth?
Yeah, that's pretty awesome, actually. I think this will be a completely different scenario for you because you're going to get a chance to meet some of these people that will give you a completely different perspective rather than reading something that you see in the forum. Yes. Or from the ones that called in. I mean, you can feel the pain through words.
You can feel the pain through them calling in. This time, it might be a little bit different because you'll actually see it in their face as they tell you their stories again. Yes.
Yes, yes. Well, the few people I sent the book to for sort of reading prior to getting it published came back and I was quite actually surprised at what they said. It was quite an emotional thing because some of them resonated with quite a few things in the book. And then they also said on things which they had never thought of before, oh, I never, gosh, I never realized that.
Or it never came to mind.
Yeah, yeah, I get that. You know, people are all the same. It doesn't matter whether they're from the US, the UK, Europe, Australia. People around the world are pretty much the same. They are. People don't realize this. They think they're different because they're from someplace else, but they're really not. They may speak different. They may have different things they do from day-to-day life.
Pretty much, no matter where we're from, we're all the same. We all have the same problems. The only difference is the location that we live and how the country handles it. Yes. Yes. The beauty of this book as I see it is that it has common sense practices. You give great ideas and great resolutions. People have the same problems worldwide.
So hopefully someone reads this no matter where they live, gathers something from it, and it helps them so that they can move forward with their life wherever they are.
Well... In my previous life, I was traveling a lot around the world. So I've been to Africa, India, China, South America, Europe, across the states, Canada, New Zealand, Indian Ocean Islands, all of these things. And I was doing that because of my job and I was traveling nonstop. And just what you said was absolutely spot on. Everybody in every country has the same problems.
It's just that they deal with them differently. In Africa, they have a lot of cultural differences, so they deal with things because of cultural differences. In the Middle East, because of their religious things, they deal with things in a different way. But it's the same problem.
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