before you send that "wyd" text, ask yourself if it's worth the past, the pain and the regret. if it is, yolo. full send it. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: Why is it so bad to get back with your ex?
Why is it so bad to get back with your ex? What's the big deal? Dude, I'm laying at home. It's Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, and I'm laying there. It's a cold bed. I just want a little company. What is so wrong with that? So you hit up your ex boo thing. You slide in the Snapchat DMs and you write H E Y. And then a couple hours later,
You realize you've made a mistake as the person that you remember as this fun, jolly, great person that made you feel so many emotions suddenly is in your presence and you realize, oh, I know why I broke up with them. I really don't like this person. And we've gotten back together. Rip. Genuinely rip. Rip.
Chapter 2: What should you ask yourself before reconnecting?
The next time you have an urge to give in to some instant gratification, to get back with somebody, and it doesn't have to be a relationship, it could be a friendship. It could be somebody who you know is terrible for you and they're not reciprocating any of your feelings, they don't care about you, but you missed them. I want you to ask yourself this question. Is it worth it?
Because, spoiler alert, most times it's not. It's not. Most times we remember the good. We remember, ah, well, it was so nice to have this person next to us. We remember the feeling, not of them, but of the company they provided. And in reality, the minute we hang out with them, we say, oh my gosh, I made a mistake. Literally, you go like the Joker or something. Because we've made a mistake.
We've made a really bad lapse in our judgment by deciding, oh, we're going to bring this person back in. The next time you entertain the idea of getting back with that ex who cheated on you, who manipulated you, just ask yourself, is it worth it? Is it worth it? And try to remember not the fact that, oh, well, but they were there when I felt sad.
What about the minute they cheated on you and you had to find out through Snapchat because you saw them cuddled up to somebody and the hoodie was not yours. It was somebody else's hoodie. And you were like, what is going on here? That is my girlfriend. Why are they next to that person? Maybe let's remember that. Because people don't change, man.
some do and it takes everything in them to do so and hey some people they cheat and they realize you know what that wasn't a good move that was really bad i'm sorry of course but if you're thinking about going back to something that made you feel a type of way Is it worth it? Is it worth it?
All I am asking is for you to genuinely ask yourself, is the potential downside of this situation, of this person's ego attitude, the fact that they willingly don't text you back for hours to make you feel like you did something wrong and then they say, hey, as if nothing happened, is that worth it? Is that really worth it?
Because what a lot of us don't understand is we are accustomed to the love that we experience. We only understand our veil of judgment. So if there's something that is better for us out there and we haven't experienced it, we don't know. It's not our fault. We have no idea.
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Chapter 3: How do past experiences influence our judgments?
So, of course, you're going to want to go back to something you feel comfortable in and you know it takes so much to stick by your gut and be like, no, this is not good. This person is bad news. I don't want to be with this person. Hell nah. Famously hell nah. But in my life, I've gone back with people. I have. I have. I have. And I get it.
I get it because sometimes you think that what you have with somebody that in all honesty isn't good for you is all you can get. It's all that you can deserve. Sometimes you feel like that's the litmus test for a partner is that really toxic, abusive relationship that you had. I'm not going to sit here and act like, oh no, no, you're strong.
Like sometimes we have no idea what's good for us because we haven't experienced something that's good for us. So how do we even have anything to compare it to? And man, certain relationships that are unhealthy, they give us that dopamine that a healthy relationship sometimes doesn't. And it really makes you think because toxicity is addictive. It is. It's a rush.
Chapter 4: Can toxic relationships feel addictive?
It is the ups and downs instead of a comfortable glide through the sky. You're instead making so many tosses and turns you don't even know where you're at. And it's never worth it in the end. It's not. But in the moment... The rush you get from suddenly being in an argument to then not being in an argument. I get it. I get why people are there. I get it.
But when you start questioning yourself in a healthy way and you start asking, wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay, this person, they said they've changed.
they said that they really really love me and they want to accept me for who i am okay but while we were you know dating they cheated on me not once but twice that was a little bit come on like i thought i was pretty decent and obviously not is it worth it uh no i don't think so have they changed Well, during talking to them, not really. They seem the same. They've apologized.
And maybe they even gaslit me into thinking it was my fault. I don't think it's worth it. I'm a pass. Thank you. Have a good day. It's not that easy. It takes a lot of reflection to understand where you sit in a relationship, how it played out, how it affects you. But This goes for opportunities as much as it does relationships. Because sometimes on paper, something might feel like it's worth it.
Sometimes on paper, we think, well, this school, it's really high ranked or this class is the best class I can take. But something tells us deep within us that we don't understand that that's not right. That something is not right. And a lot of us disregard that feeling because instead we think, well, what would so-and-so think?
What would my best friends from school who they would literally give anything to have this opportunity think if I just said no? And later down the line, we regret it because usually what ends up happening is our intuition has told us that something's not right. And we listened to our ego instead of our intuition. And I've made certain decisions in my life that I don't know.
On paper, it was like, what are you, what? Why are you going to UGA? What? Why are you yapping in front of the camera? But my intuition told me I should do it. And I asked myself, is it worth it? I don't know. But something's telling me it is. Something's telling me that I should at least give it a shot. Because if something is worth it, maybe it fails.
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Chapter 5: What are the consequences of ignoring your intuition?
Maybe you trying out for that high-level athlete program at a university you want to go to, maybe you fail in it. But maybe that's the thing that actually makes you reflect and say, I don't know if I want to play volleyball professionally in college. I don't know if I really want to do art full time as a job. I don't know if I'm going to be a good quant professor in the future.
I don't think that's what I want. And that's always worth it. Now, I know what you're going to say. Wait a minute, Zerky, can't you say the same thing about getting back with your ex? Isn't it always worth it? It's different when you have context, when you know somebody. And it's really up to your judgment. It's what you feel. Do you think that this person has changed? That is the question.
Do you feel as if their actions support what they are telling you? Because so many people will try to sweet talk you into being there and being back with you because they miss you. But they're going to treat you the same exact way as they did before. The minute they get that leverage, the minute they get it, they're going to treat you the exact same way.
Chapter 6: How to reflect on your relationship decisions?
But there's also people who go through a genuine change. Who they go through an evaluation of themselves and they say, I was bad in this. I want to be better. And I want to come back to this stronger. And their actions support it. I am all for giving somebody another chance if it's sincere. But if it's not... Tough luck. Tough luck, fam. Sorry. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry, but I mean, you had a chance and it didn't work. Sorry. Next. But this is a question you got to ask yourself. You know, this is a question that you got to use your intuition. Something that has helped me is I'll make a list of like, What is good about this and what is bad about this when it comes to a situation? It can be a mental list.
It can be a hashtag journaling list, which I'm a big fan of journaling. I don't know if you guys know that. I love to journal. But writing it down on paper and being like, OK, what are the positives of this? Like, what do I feel is good about this decision that I'm going to make? What do I feel is negative?
And if you see like that the negatives are just like, they make you feel really, really like sluggish, slow, lazy, and unconcerned. And you're like, I don't like this. Like I'm uncomfortable thinking about the negatives of this. I'm going to pass. You got to pass. You got to pass on it. If it doesn't feel right, I'm sorry. It's not good. It's not good. It's the same thing with dating.
I think a lot of people get into relationships just out of desperation. Well, you know, they're there. Yeah, but do you like them? Well, I mean, if you have to convince yourself you like somebody, bro, it's like, is it worth it? No. The answer is no. If you don't like them, you do not like them. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But what if I hurt their feelings? Dude, tough luck.
Think of how many people have hurt your feelings because they didn't like you. At least they were honest. At least they told you. Oh, but I'm 18. This is my only chance. This is not your only chance, okay? It's cool. I felt the same way. It's hard telling somebody that you do not like them. It is difficult. But you know what's even more difficult than telling somebody you do not like them?
Telling them you do not like them after a year of dating them and pretending you like them. That is arguably worse. Arguably worse. Because, oh, well, the whole time I didn't really like you is not going to sound very good when you're in too deep, is it? So just ask yourself, is it worth it? It's the same thing as, you know, making a decision for that job. And I get it.
Sometimes there are circumstances and you don't really have a decision because you need that money. Just give me my money. Hashtag Kysonette, you know, like it's what it is. But if you don't have that kind of pressure and you can make a decision and you have kind of the leverage to make the decision, then you got to make the decision that feels the best, that feels good, that feels right.
And sometimes what feels right is not going to be the comfortable decision. And don't get upset and frustrated with yourself that you've made a bad decision. Maybe this has made you realize, oh my gosh, like I keep doing the same thing. It's fine. It's okay. You're going to make mistakes. I ask myself, is it worth it all the time? And sometimes I make the wrong choice. You're human.
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