I used to feel guilty for having alone time, until I learned to love and cherish it. being alone doesn't mean you are lonely... https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: What does it mean to be comfortable with being alone?
One thing that nobody tells you about growing older is you have a lot of alone time. And it's weird because I used to think that being alone was a bad thing until I learned that no, sometimes I'm better off alone. I'm better off alone. Getting comfortable with being alone was the best thing I ever did for myself. Sure, it wasn't easy.
Chapter 2: How did college shape my perspective on alone time?
In college, this is where it mainly started, I moved to a new school. I didn't have many friends my first year. And I dreaded the fact that most days I would just go back to my apartment. I wouldn't really have a lot of friends to kick it with. But what I actually realized that I had all this time and I had a lot of time to reflect and I had a lot of time to focus on the things I wanted to do
Chapter 3: What benefits come from journaling alone?
It made me feel really good. I started to pick up things that I didn't before. One thing that I really started to do in college was I wrote a lot. I started journaling every single day. I had this routine in my apartment where I would wake up, I would go to the lobby of my apartment building, I would get a coffee from the free coffee machine. And I would just write for like an hour every morning.
And I loved it. I loved it. I would just write about what was going on, how I felt, the things I was processing. And every day I wrote to the point that I had just like this big journal. And I was so proud of it. And that was something I did alone. That was something I did by my lonely. Started out from nothing. I was hungry. Rest in peace speaker knockers. It's a deep cut.
Chapter 4: Why is it important to reflect during alone time?
Being alone is a beautiful thing. I think a lot of us take it for granted. A lot of us, when we get alone time, we freak out. We're like, what do I do? I'm not with the bros. I'll tell you what you do. You gotta get comfortable with being alone. You gotta get comfortable with spending time with yourself in a non-destructive manner. Treating yourself like you were a five-year-old.
Chapter 5: How can alone time be a positive experience?
Finding things that you're interested in. Reflecting. All of these things make you better off alone. Because one thing I know is that life comes in seasons. There are seasons in your life where you are going to be meeting a lot of people. You're going to be outside. We outside all the time. You're going to feel like, Your social level is just at an all-time high. You feel good.
And there will be moments in your life where it will be dry. It will be drier than my hinge profile. It will be dry. Like, that is life. And if you don't know how to spend time alone... Uh-oh. It will be rough. It will feel lonely. And everyone has the amount that's good for them. For some people, they really value their alone time. They really like being alone.
They don't like being oversimulated by a lot of people all the time. For others, one, two hours a week is enough. They are go, go, go. I get energized by other people. I need my time with other people. There is no arbitrary number There is no, oh, you have to spend two hours every day alone. No. You have to feel it out. What do you crave?
Do you crave having some alone time and spending it with yourself? Or do you crave being outside and meeting people?
Chapter 6: What are different ways to spend quality alone time?
And your alone time can be spent in so many different ways. It's not rotting in bed.
Maybe a good alone time is spent going on a trip somewhere by yourself. Maybe it's going to that new coffee shop and grabbing a book, going to the library, doing some work that you've always wanted to do, designing something in Photoshop that you wanted to design, learning something. There are so many ways to spend alone time. Why do we not take advantage of it?
Chapter 7: Why is there a stigma around being alone?
I think there's a stigma around it. There's a huge stigma around being alone. The main thing is we don't wanna be seen as a loser with no friends. When in reality, I'm gonna burst a lot of people's bubbles. In my opinion, good friends over the quantity of friends. Quality over quantity any day of the week.
Because you have a lot of friends, but when things start to go wrong, it's only a couple that you can really turn to. Right? But it's also weird being alone. We don't really spend a lot of time alone. Most of the time, we're here, scrolling, watching, consuming.
there's a time and a place for that I'm not gonna sit here and act like I don't do that myself oh my goodness I do it every single day probably more than I'd like to admit it is what it is but we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes we are better off alone maybe you're going through a breakup right And your friends are telling you, come on, go with us downtown.
Like, don't worry, we're going to make sure that you rebound. And you're like, I don't care about that. I just want to spend time with myself right now. I need to figure things out. Then spend time alone. Spend time alone. Do things that you like. I love going to parks. Sometimes I go to parks with people. Sometimes, most of the time, I go alone. I like it.
I like being able to have my own thoughts. Go out and explore something the way that I wanna explore it. Sometimes when you're in a group, they don't wanna do the same thing as you. Use your alone time as that chance to do something you wanna do.
go out and explore the things you want to explore maybe go out and volunteer for like an animal shelter i don't know maybe that's what you really want to do and all your friends are like that's lame okay is it lame to you no okay then go out and do it go out and do it Spend that alone time and give it the same respect as you do with your friends. As you do with your loved ones.
Because you matter. And oftentimes we don't want to spend time alone because we get in our own thoughts. We start to realize things that we don't want to realize about ourselves. We don't confront the darkness. In Home Alone, there's a scene, right? Where Kevin... sees this furnace downstairs. And he's scared of the furnace because it turns on and it looks like a monster.
And at one point, Kevin confronts the furnace. And he says, shut up. You gotta do the same with that darkness of being alone. Shut up. I'm gonna enjoy my alone time. I had friends that I would tell, you know, hey, I'm going to spend some time on my own. I don't really want to hang out. And they'd be like, bro, you don't do anything fun anymore. No, I do a lot of fun stuff.
It's just this time, I'm better off alone doing it. Real talk. Because if I take you hiking, you're going to be like, bro, this is so mad. So no, I'm better off alone. I'm just going to do it by myself. And I'm going to enjoy it. I'm going to enjoy it. Because at the end of the day, the way that I want to spend my time is up to me. I decide that.
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