life is suffering.so if we're going to go through hardships regardless, maybe it's worth giving ourselves grace.in my life, I've found the most peace when I consciously decide to look into the positive side of the challenges I face. it isn't easy, but it makes things just that much more better.maybe optimism drives you nuts, but don't knock it until you've given it a fair shot.sending you lots of love and peaaaaaaaace!https://stan.store/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: Why is it hard to be optimistic?
There's nothing more infuriating than somebody telling you to cheer up when everything is just going wrong everything you you have done everything in your power to do something right and still Everything is deciding to be against you and it's funny because I find myself in a very similar situation right now And I'm not gonna I'm gonna keep it a buck.
It's hard to be optimistic when things look bad. It's so hard and And I think that sometimes we conflate being, you know, optimistic with being just like blindly optimistic when really things are things are not good. They're not good. And we have to be honest with ourselves. But without fail, every time that I have looked at the positives, even in in the trenches, if you will.
I've been able to stomach the pain. I've been able to go through the things way easier. Was it still hard? Yes. But it was easier than if I bogged down the negatives. Because at a certain point, you just can't control anything anymore. You have done everything. You have given your order to the server and now you are waiting as they bring out somebody else's food and they walk by your table.
And you're like, bruh. dang it i wanted my triple dipper chilies why did you have to serve them first when it comes to a positive mindset in life you need to ask yourself does it help you that's what you need to ask yourself this is the important thing because let's be so for real some people won't be positive they won't it's just not them at least they don't believe it's them
Some people will always be complaining about everything. Everything is a problem all the time. There's no fixing. I am the victim. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Yeah. And I mean, with that kind of person, there's only so much you can do. You can only point so many times and be like, you're the problem. At some point, you have to let it go.
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Chapter 2: How can we deal with negativity?
And I don't think that maybe optimism is for everybody. Anyone can use it. Everyone can be optimistic, but maybe you being optimistic, it just doesn't, it's not for you. You don't feel like it's helping you and that's okay. But all I ask is that you try it. Whether that be for an hour, a day, a year.
what would it look like if you just took the positives and you weighed them as stronger and heavier than the negatives because oftentimes we give the negatives a lot of weight and let's be so for real right like if your family member is in the hospital and it's not looking too pretty what are the positives in that not many And maybe that's okay.
Maybe the fact that, you know, their health is compromised and there's a good chance that you might have to say goodbye to them soon. Maybe it's just that time in your life. And it will affect everything else in your day. It's not like you can forget about it. Forget about it! No. It's not how this works. You'll feel sad. you'll feel hopeless.
You'll feel like an elephant is sitting on your chest and you don't know what to do. It's like, it's hard. Not to mention, I mean, now we are in a position where there's just a lot going on that is really concerning. It's concerning everyone. It's like no matter what it is, What is going on? Nobody knows what is going on, bro.
But the one thing we do know is that we can at least reflect and be honest with ourselves. And does being positive at this moment help us? Does it help you? For me, it does. It does. It genuinely does. Makes me remember why I am alive and why I am grateful to be where I am. Even though not everything is perfect. No. No, it's not. But I also know it never will be.
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Chapter 3: What roles do positivity and negativity play in our lives?
The way that I suffer now is how I'm going to suffer throughout life. Life is suffering. I'm sorry. You know? That's just what it is. Like, you will go through things. That is the beauty of it. Is that you experience turmoil in the same week that you experience immense joy. You can't have bliss all the time. It's not how it works. But you can choose...
To shape your environment based on how you perceive it and what you see. Because if you are going to spend your entire life being negative and just looking at everything that is wrong, you will only see the wrong in this world. And there is a lot. There is a lot of it. There is a lot of bad things in this world. But there's also a lot of good.
And it really comes down to how you're going to perceive things and how you're going to reflect on the challenges that are being thrown at you. Because you can crumble. You can. No cookie. No sugar cookie that has 4 million calories. No. You're going to crumble. And I don't know about you, but like... For me, it does not help that I'm negative. It just does not. I am a realist.
I know when somebody is cap and they're like, yeah, yeah, I'll do that. No, you won't. Yeah, I'll change. No, you won't. And that's fine. I don't take it personally because I know myself. I know that I'm that way too. I'm not perfect. I've promised so many people in my life. Yeah, I'm going to change for you. And I never do. I never do. The change only comes if I want to see it.
If I feel like it's impacting other people and me, me, it affects me because of that, then I will change. But sometimes we just need to suffer. You need to really reflect on the relationship you have with yourself and you need to ask if it's helping you.
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Chapter 4: How can reflecting on our experiences help?
Because for majority of my life, the relationship that I had with myself was harming me all the time, all the time, mentally bogging me down, slowing me down, making me feel like I am less than other people because of the way that I am, because I cannot replicate the way that they are, because they are different than me. But instead I viewed it as I'm the problem. I'm such a problem.
Even though I was doing just fine. And there's only so many comments that my internal critic can make of me that says you're such a loser and you're so fat and you're so ugly until I'm like shut up. Like smosh. Shut up! It's over. So what? So what, you think I'm ugly inner critic? I don't care, I don't care. I'm not. I don't have to be pretty, I can just be. I can just be.
That shift in my mindset, it helps me. It helps me tremendously. Because I do not focus on how other people look like. I admire when I see somebody running, they got a six pack. It's like, dang, he worked for that. I know he worked for it. You know, he was watching Raw Dog Run Club inspirational videos and David Goggins motivational compilations on YouTube and he was just grinding and respect.
But it doesn't make me feel insecure anymore because I know that I am me. I'm being me at the moment. And if at the moment, I want to have a Cubano. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to have a Cubano sandwich. And I'm not really going to care. And that's a decision that I make.
But if deep down I'm like, I want to get healthier, I want to eat better, and I want to look better for me, then I will do it. And I will work with myself and figure out what helps me. What doesn't help me is running super consistently, funny enough. I need a goal.
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Chapter 5: What is the significance of setting personal goals?
I was the most motivated and the most in shape when I was trying to get selected on the varsity soccer team at my high school, Palatine High School. Shout out. Shout out the northwest suburbs of Chicago one time. Come on. Can we get a shout out?
And the summer that I was supposed to train to potentially make it as a sophomore on varsity, I went to Poland and I remember I was like, okay, I'm on vacation, but this cannot define how my body is gonna look. I wanna make varsity. I'm gonna train like an animal. And I ran every single day. I ran every single day on vacation. I never skipped a day.
I had a rest day once or twice, but I had that goal of like, I'm gonna get better and I'm going to make this thing. And I see that if I don't have any kind of fitness goal, I just kind of, I just go through the motions. I'm not pushing myself. It doesn't help me.
What does help me is some kind of goal and something that I'm like, okay, I am going after this, but I'm going to build my lifestyle around this goal because I want to obtain it. So now I'm kind of trying to figure out what that goal is. It might be a marathon. It might be a half marathon. It might be a 5K. Who cares? The main thing is that I do something.
I have something I can look forward to that helps me. That helps me. We're so quick to disregard any kind of investments in ourselves. None. None. You want to learn a language, but it's like thinking about purchasing a tutor is like, oh my, no, I would never do that. That's, that's, that's a lot. And at some point you need to ask, is that, is it going to help you?
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Chapter 6: Why is self-care important in challenging times?
Obviously, you know, do you have the funds for it? Because a lot of us don't got the funds right now and that's okay. But if you, if you think it would help you, then I feel like it's your job to do it. If your soul is like being lit on fire by this thing and you're just being like, no, I'm not even going to acknowledge this. I'm not going to give this time.
You want to learn how to do glass blowing. But you're like, no, whatever. I'm too tired. It's like, would it help you? Would it re-energize you? Probably. Because what happens is even when I'm tired, you know, I love being around people. I go around people. I'm like, hey, what up? How's the kids? How are you doing? We're so quick to help other people. We rarely help ourselves.
We rarely ask if something will help us and benefit us. Why? Why can't we do both? And it starts with the mindset, man. That's really where it starts. It's like, if right now you being a perfectionist is inhibiting you from making the thing that you want to make, why are you keeping the perfectionist mindset? Why? It doesn't help you. It doesn't help you.
It's the same as like you thrift like a cool jacket at Goodwill and then it sits in your closet and it's like, no, I don't want to get rid of it because I thrifted it and I'm going to make, I'm going to, oh, I'm going to sew something onto it. No, you're not. You're never going to sew anything onto it. You're never going to get it altered. It's done.
It's just going to sit in your closet and you are going to donate it again. So just stop lying to yourself and go donate it. Just go give it to somebody who will use it. We hold on to so much. and we're so closed off to changing, to at least just entertaining the idea that it could be different. That is all I ask, is that you think, what would it look like?
Re-evaluation is so important in your life. It is so important to who you are. You need to take notes on yourself, man. You need to just keep tabs on yourself. Because you are changing. You're always doing new things. And if you are not happy with the output, you need to look at the input. What you consume. I've been trying to say this is so important. It's immensely important.
Now, do I, do I mean you cut out the brain rot? No. It's the same thing as you can go to McDonald's and get a Filet-O-Fish or a Big Mac once in a while. Who cares? But if all you're consuming is negativity, are you really surprised that you are just in this constant state of being upset and aggravated? Because there's so much to be aggravated by. And it is a privilege.
It is a privilege to be like, no, I'm going to choose not to. I'm going to choose not to pick any sides and have it not affect me. It's a privilege, sure. Because some people, they have no choice. They have no choice, and I recognize that. But ask yourself, does it help? Does it help you? And this is tricky, because what might help you might be tone deaf to other people. Hmm. Hmm.
But at the same time like everything is nuanced every person's life is nuanced and you need to. You got to be respectful of other people you got to see other perspectives and sometimes you know you'll learn from other people that your actions actually are affecting them way more than you think and that's why you need to have an open mind but.
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