"what's your major?" is a good start, but "what's something that reminds you of home?" shows genuine interest. if you want to connect with someone, open yourself up to learning about them. it also might get you closer to going on a $60 date at Chili's. sending you love and peaaaaace :) https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: Why is asking questions important?
I've assumed so many things about my partners. I just should have asked them. I've assumed so many opportunities in my life. Oh, we're closed. I should have just asked them. I know what you're probably wondering. What are you doing in the middle of this field? How did you get here? Why are you doing this? I like that. What? I like that. What are you saying? I like that you asked that question.
We, as a society, in my opinion, we need to ask more questions. We need to ask more questions of each other. We need to ask more questions in general. We need to ask more questions. I feel as if there used to be a curiosity towards daily life. At least growing up, that's how I felt. I couldn't help but be curious about everything. When my grandma...
took me to the Verizon store, random memory incoming, to change her phone, I would be asking the Verizon employee about the Blackberry. You guys remember Blackberries? Showing my unk status. I'd be like, how does this work? Why are there keys on it? Why is this not the same as a keyboard on a computer? I would just ask questions.
And I would ask questions to learn, of course, because I think, you know, knowledge is power and knowing things is good. You never know when you might need some info. But I mainly ask questions to connect with people, to understand. Just get like a read on somebody. So many times, like, I've realized, oh, hell no, when dating, when I ask somebody a simple question.
When's the last time you talked to your ex? And they say, well, it's a little complicated. You see, like we're on break, but like we're not really on break. Like I'm going to break up with him. It's just like right now it's a little bit weird. I'm just like, yeah, I'm just figuring things. You're on break. Okay. All right. I'm trolling. No, bro. But like ask questions. Ask questions.
Man, I think that. There is so much power in being interested in people and treating every kind of conversation you go into as, what can I learn? What can I learn? People love to talk about themselves. I don't know if you've tapped into this meta, but you talk to anyone, you compliment them, you say, oh, like, I like your shirt with the bear on it. Where'd you get that?
And they'll be like, oh, man, bro, like. I, like, picked this up. Like, my grandma got this for me, man. She's a G. It just opens up a door. You asking a question opens up a door. It opens up an avenue to go down with someone and relate to somebody. Because a lot of us, like, don't do that. I've talked to a lot of people. Talked to a reference? Absolutely.
But I've talked to a lot of people who just, like, oh, yeah. Oh, for real? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Hmm. No, it's interesting. And I mean, hey, I've also talked to people who straight up, like, did not give a sigma about me. They did not want to talk to me. And I get the vibe and I'm like, I'm going to move elsewhere where my business is needed. But...
Du liegst in der Badewanne und hörst deinen Podcast. Doch hui, das Plätschern des Wassers wird zum Meeresrauschen und plötzlich fliegst du in den Süden. Ägypten, Kanaren, Griechenland, Türkei, Karibik. Der warme Sand zwischen den Zehen, ein kühles Getränk in der Hand und die Sonne auf der Haut. Nicht träumen, Alturs buchen. Alles drin, alles gut, alles für dich. Alturs, alles aber günstig.
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Chapter 2: How can curiosity enhance your interactions?
I was very like, this is my problem and nobody's gonna understand this, just me. I'm not gonna share this with anyone because no one's gonna get it, so what's the point? Until one day I heard one of my really good friends mention, like, yeah, man, it's the negative self-talk that's getting to me. Just casually he dropped it.
As we were coming back from soccer practice, I was like, man, why are you getting so frustrated at yourself? Like, you're playing great. He's like, bro, because, like, I don't believe in myself. That's really what's going on. Like, I just, you know, parts of my brain are telling me I suck all the time. And I was like, whoa. And I had an option. I had an option. Do I?
be like oh cool story just let it let it be or do i ask more questions and i chose this and i'm like what do you mean like do you feel as if you are like leading yourself to believe things that aren't true about yourself and he's like yeah actually precisely oh that's weird man i i do the same thing Really? Yeah, bro, I do that all the time.
That's why I get so frustrated too when I play and sometimes I yell at you. It's me, it's not you. You're not doing anything wrong. I just take it out on other people and it's not fair. Wow, dude. I didn't know that. Bro, I feel you. I'm here for you if you need me. Just because I asked. We were able to support each other. It made it a little bit easier. Did it solve the problem?
Like, no, no, but it made the bond a little bit closer because I asked. And some of us gotta check in on our friends We really got to check in on our friends because not everyone is open with their emotions and not everyone needs to be open with their emotions. You don't need to be vulnerable if you don't want to be vulnerable.
But there are friends that I'm glad I asked the question of, are you doing good? Because they really weren't. They really weren't. And they just needed someone. They just needed someone to be there. And talk to. That's all they needed. And sometimes I just need that. I just need someone to. Vent a couple frustrations to. And. Say thank you afterwards.
But that doesn't happen if we don't ask questions. If we just assume. Oh everything's. Oh no. Everything's chill. It's like. If you feel like someone's off. Like just ask. Say what's like. Hey what's going on man. And. And. Yeah, I mean, it's real. It's real. And I get it. You know, I internalize a lot of things. I think I... I like to keep a lot of things to me.
I don't want to like burden people with my problems, but sometimes it's not even a burden. Sometimes it is really like you just, you need, someone needs to hear you out and validate how you feel and be like, bro, like I feel the same way. It's okay. It's fine. You don't need to be perfect. You don't need to be, you know, just expecting so much out of yourself. It's fine. So ask that question.
I think you should also ask more questions that are uncomfortable. I'm not talking about offensive, just uncomfortable. And I think we gotta ask more questions when it comes to like dating. I've been so quick to wanna get into something with somebody because I just wanted, I wanted the relationship. And I didn't really put an effort in to get to know the person. That's not a good thing.
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