it's a good feeling to know you were right all along, especially when someone comes running back to you. but shouldn't we be skeptical? or should we accept them regardless. I think it depends on if they deserve to be in our lives. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: What happens when someone returns after leaving your life?
So they've come crawling back. Your hunch that that person who broke up with you, who told you, no, you're not a real friend, and they left the group chat, got upset because you were trying to tell them the truth, they finally came back. But in the meantime... They did some questionable things. They talked to some questionable people. They said some very questionable things about you.
And now it's a question of not if they're going to be by your side. It's a question of do they deserve to be in your life? And that is a hard question to answer. Well, it's hard... if you make it hard. You get what I mean. They don't deserve you. Or maybe they do. But in this instance, I don't think they do. Your time is very valuable.
You as a human being, you only have so much energy to give other people. You only have so much bandwidth in your beautiful mind to be able to take care of other people. You can barely take care of yourself. How are you expected to deal with people that, quite frankly, just pollute your life? They come and dump toxic waste into your clear waters and then they say, what's wrong?
How am I the problem? What do you mean? What do you mean? It's difficult. to notice that. It's difficult to actually acknowledge that maybe somebody who's like a childhood friend or somebody who you love, who is twin flame, they don't actually deserve you. They actually kind of suck. And it is scary because oftentimes these people, they know how to use words against you. They know how to
take a situation, make themselves feel like the victim, yada, yada, yada. Come on. You've been there. But remember this. Because you're ultimately making the decision of if you pay them attention, if you grant them access to your kingdom, that is your life. And I would argue that If you don't think they deserve to be in your life, they shouldn't. They shouldn't. At least in the same way.
It's hard. Some of us have toxic family members, which is awesome. In that case, you got to learn to love from a distance. You have to learn how to love somebody when they're in their own life and you're in yours. Maybe once in a while you see each other and it's all good, calm and collect. But they don't deserve you. They don't deserve to be all up in your business. No, thank you. Boundaries.
Set them. It is a very, very weird thing to go from knowing somebody and being like, oh my goodness, this person knows me so well, to suddenly realizing One thing happens that opens your paradigm and you realize this person was never good for me. How did I allow this? Well, sometimes it takes getting hurt in order to learn self-respect.
Sometimes it takes having people use us in order to realize, wait a minute, I'm being used. This is not good for me. I'm not happy with this. And with that, we must give ourselves grace. We can't just be like, you know, upset. We have to allow ourselves to acknowledge that we made a mistake. We made a mistake. It's okay.
But it's now how we maneuver past that mistake to figure out, okay, like, what are we doing? Are we gonna continue to allow people who don't deserve us into our life? No, let's not do that. Let's not do that. So how do we not do that? Good question. In my opinion, I think A big part of friendships and a big part of knowing when somebody deserves your time is reciprocation.
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Chapter 2: Do they deserve to be in your life again?
And those kind of people stay away. They don't deserve you. Uh-uh. Jeez. I'm passionate about this because I've let myself get walked over, like all over before, like countless times. And there was a point where I had to catch myself and be like, wait a minute. Hold on, wait a minute. This is happening way too often.
And what a lot of people do is they just continue to let it happen and be like, well, this is the course of how things go. You know, oh, my crush didn't like me back again. No, no, no, no, no. You're putting yourself in those kind of situations to have that happen. And granted, we have to go through that. If you are a young buck right now, if you're a young buck,
teenager who's watching this being like i haven't even had my first love you have to burn your hand on the stove to know it's hot i'm sorry you can be introspective you can be ahead of the curb you gotta you can be cognizant of these things but some things you've got to experience you gotta just kind of go through it but then after you go through it it's up to you to decide how you actually maneuver past it and if you catch yourself because there are a lot of people that they just
They don't see their worth and they don't see a problem with other people not seeing their worth. And that's hard to change. How do you argue with that? If you can't see your own worth and I try my hardest to tell you you are worthy, you won't see your worth. You have to change that perspective. No matter how many
Relationships, partners, experiences you go through, until you change that dynamic, that's not going to fix it. You don't heal through relationships, you heal through your relationship with yourself. And it took me a very long time to realize that. I would try to seek things out in other people and I would always fall on my face and be like, what am I doing?
And it was because I was trying to cope with the relationship with myself, which was not happy through other people. And oftentimes those people, they didn't deserve me. They didn't. And they were limiting parts of me that I wanted to show them. I wanted to be vulnerable about. But I couldn't because I'd get shut down. Or I'd get told, no, that's weird. That's cringe. Ew, stop. What are you doing?
Why are you doing that? Oh my goodness, do you ever feel ashamed of yourself? No, I don't. I do feel ashamed of the fact that I gave you so much time because you don't deserve me. I'm sorry. You don't deserve me if you're going to treat me like this. And it's different when you have a disagreement in terms of your relationship, what you expect. Those are things you got to talk out.
And sometimes somebody might be treating you a certain way because they think that's what you need. That's why communication, yapponomics, is so important. communicating, not assuming, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Talking to someone and being like, hey, how do you feel about this? Can we talk about this?
But at the end of the day, you cannot convince somebody that they are deserving of you if they don't see it. You cannot convince somebody that you deserve respect if you don't respect yourself. You cannot. You can't. And oftentimes, the toxic relationships in our life, they're not deserving of us. They're not deserving of us, but it is so hard to leave.
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