you will miss them. you will feel like they are still there when they are not. it is a process we all learn to go though. it is the price we pay for loving someone. follow the zurkie show! https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: What does it feel like to lose someone?
Nobody prepares you for the feeling of losing somebody. Nobody prepares you for the weirdness that is that person was once here and now they are not and how you deal with that. And I still don't really know how to deal with it. It's just something that you deal with. Zerky Show, how we doing? I just want to make a quick announcement. This video that you're about to watch is not happy.
Chapter 2: Why is grief such a hard topic to discuss?
It is a very hard topic to talk about sometimes. It is about grief, and there are some tears shed. If that's something that you don't really want to watch, I don't blame you. I have plenty of other videos that are more happy. This one I needed to make. I felt compelled to make it. And if you are going through something, maybe this is the video for you. But either way, I love you.
I hope you're doing good. And just wanted to give a fair warning. Okay.
my grandfather passed away from cancer when I was in college it was my first year being at University of Georgia I remember I was in my apartment I woke up and in the family group chat was a notification that I knew was coming I knew that he was not in a good state but I just was hoping that I could I don't even know I was just hoping that maybe something could happen but
It was reading that notification, that message that said he had passed away in his sleep that really, really hit home. And I couldn't process it then. I had no idea how to process it. And it wasn't until I visited his grave last year for the first time that I just like let go of a lot.
remember my grandfather he he went to his grave with his mom and his dad where he is buried now and he took me and like introduced me to them he talked to them and it was like I was like what is he doing why is he doing this you know But he was doing it like a sign of respect. And he was telling his parents about me. Like, hey, this is my grandson. And I'm very proud of him.
And this is going to be hard for me to talk about. But I just, I don't know. I want people to know about this. So, okay. Let's do this. So... He did that, and then when I visited his grave, I did the same thing. I had told him about what was going on in my life and that I was good. And then I was... And then I missed him.
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Chapter 3: How can memories help us cope with loss?
I really missed him because the last couple of months were really, really difficult. Because... Dang, man. Because he was not himself. He was very sick. And it was hard to see that. And it's weird. It's weird. And what I want to tell somebody who...
is maybe in the beginning of grief, and it's not just losing a family member, maybe it's losing somebody in a relationship that meant a lot to you, is that grief is weird. Grief is weird. It's weird because you do not forget that person. My grandfather is forever burned into my memory in the best way. And the memories that I have with him, I really cherish them. I really care about them.
And I try to cope with this grief by living through my grandfather. Doing things that I know would...
symbolize him he always peeled potatoes when he would make mashed potatoes for dinner and I always peel my potatoes man I always think of him that way and he was always so kind and courteous and happy to see me and I he had this uplifting spirit he really he really messed with me he liked me you know so I really try to share that same love to a lot of other people in my life
We can do everything that comes. Das Handwerk.
And grief is weird. It's weird. The moment after something like losing a partner, figuring out that you're not gonna be together, realizing that no longer the memories that you have are like, that's not gonna carry on, that that's cut. It is something that is so jarring And you will feel you will you will feel emotions about it.
But I didn't feel emotional about my grandfather passing really away until I did something that reminded me of him. And I realized that that's no longer him as in like physically that is no longer him and that I felt kind of a responsibility to carry it on. And don't get me wrong, like, these are tears of, you know, of cope, I guess. And sometimes there aren't words for what you can feel.
Like, you know, this is something that happened in my life. There are people out there that suffer through tragedies and terrible things. But every form of grief... No matter how big or how small, it will impact you. It will. And we will experience this emotion in our lives. It's just a matter of when, not if. It's a matter of when, right?
And there's a part of me that I don't know if we ever fully understand what the process of grief is. Because it's very different for each person individually. Some people, something like that happens and they just lock down. And they don't talk to anybody and they're very internalized with their grief. For me, it's more of a mixture. I process things, I think, alone.
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Chapter 4: What are the different ways to process grief?
I remember when I visited him that I wanted to show him like a bunch of photos from like just college and my wife and he, we just, we never got to have that moment. And part of that is my fault selfishly, but grief is weird. It's weird. And part of it is like, I know that the grief I have at that time was selfish. It was like, I wish you could exist here for me. For me, for your grandson, bro.
Pull up. But sometimes we have to let people go because they're suffering. That's the worst, man. You don't want to see somebody else suffer. You don't want to see what somebody else is going through. But it's a part of it. It's a definite part of it. And the main thing that helps with grief, bro, is time. It's time. It really is a default answer, but time heals everything. Oftentimes it does.
Chapter 5: How does losing a loved one affect us emotionally?
It does. And there's like certain... Man, like being in a... The grief of a relationship is hard because that person exists, but that...
version of them in your head no longer does it's done that that's that's over with so you have to you have to accept that that is no longer the case and that the memories you made were at a certain period of time and you have to move on knowing that other person is out there and it's in the back of your mind and grief is weird it will hit you
You know, sometimes I get reminiscent and remember certain things, smells, actions, and other people will like remind me of certain relationships that are no longer. And it's painful. It's beautiful, though. Grief is such a beautiful emotion because it is your soul going and immortalizing somebody and being like, this was the period of your life with this person.
Chapter 6: Why is grief considered a personal journey?
And these memories, you're going to hold on to it even if they're not there physically or they're not there emotionally for you anymore. And you never forget those... Those emotions like... All of that still feels very real. And in the future... The other people that you will eventually lose... They will also feel very real.
And... That's why like you... You gotta... You really gotta cherish time bro. You know I... I can't stress that enough. Like, if there's one thing that you learn from the Zerky show, it's you gotta cherish your time with people because you have no clue. Bro, it came out of nowhere. Nowhere. And within months, it was over. From nowhere to over months of time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Grief is weird.
It's very weird. And I want you to know if you're grieving right now that it does get better. You will have to approach it head on. That is the best advice that I got is take your time and approach it head on. And if you do that, you will naturally have to go through the emotions of grief. You will. There's no...
Chapter 7: What lessons can we learn from grief?
cheat code to getting past it you can delay the grief but the grief will never delay you it won't if you keep pushing it away it will just become bigger and bigger and bigger and it'll hit it'll hit at once and you're like, ah, and I think, uh, I think maybe I was, I was delaying my grief a little bit.
Maybe I was, uh, thinking I could outrun it because I was at a new school and I, I didn't have time to think about it, but it will, it will catch up to you. It did for me. And, and that's okay too. Like sometimes, you know, we all grieve different. And Kendrick said that in his album famously, he's like, we, I grieve different, right? I hope I might be butchering that. But you will.
Everyone grieves differently. Like like some people, they really take their time. It really takes a good amount of time. And for others, it's like a couple of months and then it's like, all right, on to the next. Who's got next? Like it's 2K, like it's NBA 2K blacktop. You know? It's a weird emotion.
It's dealing with something that you cannot wrap your head around, that it existed, and now it doesn't. So, like... Yeah. It's just weird. But it doesn't last forever, and I would say that, you know, I think I got emotional earlier because... I have a lot of, I have a lot of love for my grandfather. And he was like, he was, he really, he rooted for me, man. He really did.
And he like always told me that. And I appreciate that so much. I appreciate that so much. And sometimes I wish I could have done it more justice is all. So I know he's proud of me. I know he's smiling. You know, I'm very happy for the memories that I have with him. I'm very proud of those memories. I'm very thankful for them. And I'm very appreciative, man. I'm just appreciative.
I'm appreciative of the people I have around. And I'm appreciative of you guys. I really am. I did not expect this. Wow. I'm sorry. This is... Yeah. This is rough. But it's real. It's real. We can't, you know... There's a lot of... Like, you're gonna feel this one day. And maybe you're not feeling that right now. And that's fine. That's great. But just know, like, when it comes...
You have to endure it. You have to go through it. It's a human emotion. It is something we will all deal with at one point on a multitude of scales. For some of us, that is when the family dog passes. For others, it's, dude, we have tragedies that we can't even speak about in our pasts, right? But the one universal thing is we all grieve. And grief is weird. It is a weird thing, Zerky Show. So...
reach out if you're grieving don't feel like you need to be insular no you can reach out to people sometimes it's great to talk with people about things I had a lot of comfort talking to my family about what I was going through and how I felt and I think it really it bonded me with a lot of my family members like very strongly so it's a good thing But also, don't feel like you need to do that.
You can take your time. You can be alone and process these feelings. It is going to be rough. It won't be easy, but you will go through it and you will understand. And you'll be good. You'll be okay. Zerky Show, I love you so much. I hope you know that. I hope you know that I am proud of the community we have on here.
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