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the zurkie show

it’s time to walk away from them

Sat, 18 Jan 2025

Description

some people should be loved from a distance, others shouldn't be in your life, period. this is how you know the people around you, are actually good for you. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow

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Transcription

Chapter 1: Why should you walk away from bad friends?

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if they're a bad friend they're a bad friend it doesn't matter when you met them it doesn't matter when you thought that you guys were besties no they're not a good friend it's it's done it's over you need to stop hanging out with people who don't see your worth you got to stop doing that you have to stop

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giving in to people who walk all over you who think it's okay to laugh at things you're interested in laugh at you your quirks the things that make you you you need to stop I don't know who needs to hear it but I know why you're doing it because it's it's the reason I did it it's scary It's scary to stand up for yourself.

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It's scary to do something that has your best interest when your entire life you were doing things for other people. But when that friend group is knowingly not inviting you to things and instead you are their lapdog to call on when they need something. If that ex of yours has gone a few weeks and is calling you friend and being very friendly, stop. Use your space. Space is something that's scary.

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I mean, it is. Like, why would you want to willingly distance yourself from people? Why would you want to close yourself off when everyone tells you, when I've told you even, no, open yourself up, meet new people. Because some people in this life are not good for you. Some people in this life, they... they don't, they don't care about you. They don't care the way you think they do.

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And it shows not by what they say. It shows in the way that they act. It shows in the way that you try to reach out and they're cold shouldering. They only hang out with you when you ask And listen, certain relationships are different. We have friends that we text and call every day. We have friends that we talk to once a year. And our relationships with both of them are equal in value.

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We value both of those relationships equally because they serve a purpose and those people care about us. But there are people, and a lot of us, are in relationships with people who do not care. And you feel suffocated because maybe You're starting to realize that this person you idolized and you're friends with now, right? They're not good for you.

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To them, you are not somebody who deserves respect. And that's bad. It's bad because it will not change. At least, I don't think it will. I have been convinced that there are very few people who change genuinely because it takes them to do it. You can't change somebody else. You can't, you can tell them what's up. You can tell them, Hey, I think this would be a very good idea for you to implement.

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Hey, I think you should treat me like a human being. You should acknowledge that I have feelings that I'm passionate about things and you shouldn't just laugh things off, but instead We subjugate ourselves to these relationships. We willingly put ourselves into these things and we don't know how to get out of them. And I'm telling you, the way that you do that is you use your space.

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If you are given time right now from a partner, let's say you and somebody have decided to go on a break. Use your space. Use it. Go and live life without that person and see if there's a difference. Just see if there's a difference. See if you can feel a difference. Do you feel happier? Do you feel more fulfilled?

Chapter 2: How do you recognize toxic relationships?

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They don't see your worth. Maybe they saw your worth at one point and they've changed. And that's not something you should hold it against them for. It's just the course of life. It is what it is. We change. You can feel bitter about it. You can. And it's normal to. But that's not going to change the fact that they don't want to be your friend.

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That's not going to change the fact that they're not interested, that they don't really initiate anything and they don't want to hang out with you. That's not going to change any of that. That will stay the same. It's the same thing with relationships as well, like going on breaks.

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Very rarely, in my personal anecdote of an experience, have I seen a break actually result in a couple being like, you know what, no, we should be together. No. No. They use their space and they figure out we definitely should not. And that's okay. Because maybe you're in a position where you're thinking like, man, I don't know if I really want to be with this person.

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We should take some space between us. And that's a healthy thing. And I think that's that takes a lot of maturity because it shows like, hey, I don't know what the problem is. Let's communicate about it. Let's just like see if some alone time we'll figure out what the problem is and we can regroup and address these problems.

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But some people take the break because they think it'll buy them time for the breakup. It'll be like, OK, I can like, oh, like, just do it. If you if you already have made up your mind and you're like, yeah, it's not it's not it. then do it. End it. It's fine. I want to say I don't understand why people drag things out, but I understand because I do it. I do it.

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A list is in my phone of people I need to call that have texted me, that have said, hey, what's up? How you been? How's Austin? How's Texas? And I'm tunnel visioned. They're not on the priority list right now of things I need to get done. And I feel guilt about it. I do. Because is it right? I don't know. It's debatable. I'd say if they're a real friend, they understand.

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I'll call them when I need to call them. And when we can catch up, we're back to square one, right? We're back to understanding things. But I've dragged out relationships before because I didn't have the guts. I didn't have the... the belief in my decision, which I knew was the right one.

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I knew that it's not going to work, but I just, I wanted to hold on still to the idea of this relationship working out. And sometimes you don't want to seem like a failure. Sometimes you just don't want to have that conversation with your friends. That's like, yeah, we didn't work out. And them saying, yeah, I told you, I told you so. This was not going to work out from the start.

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It's walking back to those people with your tail between your legs. And it's humbling, but that's a part of it. You know? Using your space... really lets you think it really lets you understand if people are good for you and I've distanced myself from people and we never spoke again and I'm okay I'm fine I'm doing great and chances are that decision to distance yourself they might not even notice

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