why is it so hard to be honest with yourself? it's because we value other people more than we value ourselves.
Chapter 1: Why is it hard to be honest with ourselves?
Why is it so hard to be honest with yourself? It's because I think sometimes we value other people more than we value our own selves. Does this sound familiar to you? You were talking about somebody else and they found out.
And instead of just coming clean about what you said and why you said it and the fact that you weren't really trying to hurt their feelings, you were just trying to speak facts. You lie and you say, no, I never said that. I would never say that. Why would you ever think that I would say such a thing? That was me all throughout my teenage years. Until I learned to be more honest. Lying is great.
It's the best thing in the world. You don't want to take accountability for something. You just say, it wasn't me. And nobody will question it. Except everyone will question it. And eventually everybody is going to find out. But lying starts to impact some of the more deeper parts of you. It starts kind of weighing heavy on your conscious because you know something that a lot of people don't.
Chapter 2: How does lying affect our consciousness?
You know that you haven't been truthful and a lot of people are believing a side of you that isn't even real. You have fabricated completely. And it weighed heavy on my soul. Lying isn't a good thing. It's not a good practice. Funny enough though, a lot of people do it. We get lied to like every single day. But for me, I decided one day I wanted to make a change.
I didn't wanna keep lying all of my life. I honestly would rather be as honest as possible.
to the people in my life to my loved ones and most importantly i wanted to be honest with myself the other day i'm at a bar i'm watching the uga ut game phenomenal game go dogs w's in the chat stockton put up a game anyways i'm watching the game and there's this beautiful girl who's at the bar she has this black coat kind of fluffy And I think, man, I want to talk to her.
Chapter 3: What are the consequences of lying?
I just want to talk to her. I want to use some of the advice that I've been given out. And I cowered out. I didn't do it. I found lies in my brain that supported my assumption of like, nah, nah, she wouldn't. Nah, nah, she's with her friends. Nah, nah, nah. When I should have just been more honest and I should have just gone up and talked to it.
I'm catching myself on this because when I don't do what I really want to do inside, I end up feeling really miserable. I feel like I don't do something. And hey, sometimes you won't execute on something. You will have an opportunity and it just will pass you by. It happens. It happens all the time.
But when you know you have an opportunity, you know you want to do something or say something and you decide against it because you lie to yourself and you find some kind of excuse to not do it. That's you not being honest. That's you lying to yourself. Right now, the new year's coming up, right? I really want to go back into the gym and put my head down and lose some weight.
Chapter 4: Why did I decide to be more honest?
I'm a little overweight. It is what it is, right? But I know I can change it. And I've been working out for the past four months. But real talk, I've been lying to myself. I told myself I've been good. I've been grinding like audio book on the treadmill, headphones in, level 12, incline, grinding. but the diet hasn't been there.
Bro, you come to Austin, Texas, and you have a P. Terry's burger, you can eat that every single day. It is that good. We have In-N-Out in Texas. I never had In-N-Out. I dreamed about going to In-N-Out as a kid. Now I have one like 10 minutes away from the crib. Sheesh. The diet hasn't been there. And the thing is, I've been lying to myself.
I've been telling myself, well, I've been doing so much work and it's not showing. Be for real. The reason it hasn't been showing is because of the double-double animal style. That's why. Now, it's okay to indulge once in a while, but that's the reason. It's easier to be honest sometimes to other people than it is yourself. Why is that? Why is it so hard to be honest with yourself?
Chapter 5: How do we lie to ourselves in daily situations?
It's because I think sometimes we value other people more than we value our own selves. The biggest thing that helped me start being honest with myself is actually spending more time with myself. And I used to think that spending time with yourself was something that losers did. You should be surrounded by the bros all the time, by a posse, by a friend group.
But there's a lot of power in knowing how to be alone. When I go out with my friends, I get ready, I get dressed, spray a little bit cologne, you know, you gotta smell good. But when I go out to grab food for myself, I go out in sweats, I probably haven't showered in a few days, I don't treat it the same way. And I'm not saying that you have to.
But there's something to be said about the way in which we treat the time we spend with ourselves. When was the last time that you treated yourself, that you went out and did some things that you actually wanted to do? Not chores, not errands. You said, you know what? I've been good. I deserve a Korean corn dog. I'm going to go and get a Korean corn dog that has that cheese pull to it.
When was the last time you told yourself, you know what? I've been grinding at work. I deserve to go on a little vacation. We're going hiking this weekend. Just me and the schlaug. Just me and myself. Just me, some headphones, and a hiking trail, and the new Kendrick album downloaded, ready to play front to back. Squabble up. Squabble up.
Chapter 6: What role does self-acceptance play in honesty?
When was the last time you treated yourself and you were honest that you needed some time off? You have to be honest with yourself. Because you being honest with yourself allows you to automatically be honest to other people. If you know what's going on with you, it's harder to fake that to others. It's harder to be like, oh, wow, I didn't say that. No, I said it. I said it.
I think you've been rude to me. That's why I haven't texted you in a while. I think you've been really rude. I don't like the way that you're passive aggressive. I'm just I'm not on that timing. It's over. Being more honest takes time. You have to be patient with yourself.
If you're accustomed to not being honest with yourself, right, and not being honest with other people, you have created a life for yourself. You created a paradigm that you live your life through. It's going to be hard. You're asking yourself to change literally everything, everything you've learned, everything you've known, like that. It's not how it works. It starts small.
Chapter 7: How can spending time alone help with honesty?
It starts with just being honest of what time you're going to show up to the party.
We can do everything that comes. Das Handwerk.
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I'd be having a party and I'd say 7 p.m. and people would be pulling up at 8.45. Be honest, let me know. I don't care when you pull up, but just let me know so I can have the hot cocoa ready and the candy canes ready because we're having a Christmas party. It is what it is. Honesty comes with being real about how you feel. That's a huge one.
Sometimes we lie to ourselves about what we're actually feeling. We're like, no, I have to be, I'm happy, I'm happy. You're not happy. People are telling you to be happy because of your situation, but you're not actually happy. And it's okay. And it's fine to feel those emotions. It's fine to be sad. It's fine to, you know, have days where you're not on top of your game. but be more honest.
Denial is easy. It's a river in Egypt, but it's also very easy to be in denial. You need help. You need to be honest. You need a friend. You need to be honest. I moved halfway across the country from Chicago to Athens, Georgia, but I felt alone. I felt lonely. And so, instead of being like, I'm on the Sigma grind set. I don't need friends. I just need lock in, lock in. I was honest.
Hey, my name is Zerky. I just moved here. I don't have any friends. You want to be my friend? Yeah, of course, dude. Having a barbecue. Come on. Come on by. It's going to be fire. Be more honest. I try to live my life through honesty. I really do. But sometimes it's hard. I'm no perfect man. I still lied to myself sometimes, of course. But every time I do it, I catch myself.
I might say a lie and then immediately be like, that's not true. It's not true. And that's what it's about. It's progress. And you'll never be perfect. There's always going to be a part of you that feels comfort in lying.
But if you can just put enough effort into living a more honest life, one aligned with what you truly believe and one aligned with who you truly are, you'd be surprised as to how happy and fulfilled you'll be. Zerky Show. Change of scenery. It's not snowy, but it's also beautiful, and this earth is so beautiful. Go out and explore. I don't care where you live.
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