there's one skill in my 23 years of living that separates itself from the rest. and that is the art of talking.
Chapter 1: What is the art of talking to strangers?
The worst feeling in the world is when you're talking to somebody, you just told them everything about your life, and they go, yeah, that's really similar to this part of my life, and I totally didn't listen to anything you just said, and instead I'm gonna tell you about me. Who wants to talk to someone like that? Skills pay the bills.
Having something that you're good at opens up doors and opportunities you never thought existed. You're a great cook. You know how to really make some burgers at a tailgate. People are going to tap in. You know how to sing. You're like the next Sabrina Carpenter. Please, please, please. Come on now. I was in choir.
But there's one skill I still think to this day, out of all the ones that I've acquired in my 23 years of living, as Unk, separates itself from the rest. And that is the art of talking. The art of yapping and being a good conversationalist. Now, I know what you might be thinking. Zarky, I want that. I want to know how to talk to people. But it's hard.
To which I say, yeah, duh, of course it's hard. You're going up to a stranger and you're yapping about something. It's going to be uncomfortable. It's going to be weird. You're going to have anxiety. Of course. Of course. But hey, I've decided I want to give you an early Christmas present. And I'm going to teach you everything I know.
To open up conversations in your life that you never knew existed. With people you haven't even met yet. This is how to talk to. The first rule of talking to somebody is you have to initiate. Zerky, no. I want someone to just come up to me. Listen, that's what I thought too.
When I went to college at the University of Georgia, go dogs, I was so excited to walk down my campus and see all the beautiful, young, bright minds that were in Athens, Georgia. But you know what I realized very quickly? Everyone on campus has their headphones in, AirPods blaring the new NetSpend song, and they don't care about you. Because they don't know you. So they just keep walking.
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Chapter 2: Why is initiating a conversation important?
They're listening to whatever they're listening to in their headphones. Maybe they got a podcast in. Maybe they're tapped into the Zerky show. I don't know. But unfortunately, no one's really going out of their way to say what's up. Regularly, right? But everyone would want it. Most people. There are some people that like their space. You got to respect that, obviously.
But if you want to talk to someone, talk to a someone... You gotta be the one. It's gonna be me. You gotta be the one that pulls up and is like, hello. And it might be kind of weird, but if you want to talk to more people, you need to initiate. Zerky, unk, what do I initiate with? This is a great question. The art of noticing.
Every person has a hundred different ways that you can start a conversation with. For me personally, what works is I always try to notice what they're wearing. I love football, soccer. If I see somebody with a soccer or football jersey, if I see they're wearing a jersey, they've got a Holland jersey or a Antony jersey from Man U.
Chapter 3: How can I start a conversation with someone?
My inclination is, oh, I can go up to them and, you know, just start talking about ball. Being like, hey, I, you know, compliment. Hey, I like your jersey, bro. You support blank team? Yeah, dude, I do, man. Oh, you watch Premier League? Heck yeah, I do. Same thing goes for artists, musicians, right? If someone's got... a Daft Punk shirt, I'm gonna be like, yo, what up?
If someone's got the Dreamville shirt on, I might chop it up with them about J. Cole. I'm gonna be like, do you like Forest Hills Drive? And they will say yes because everyone loves that album because it's goaded. So finding the details in that person. Maybe it's not a good idea to be like, oh, that person has a big nose. So I'm going to go and talk to them about their big nose. That's bold.
Just try to go in with something, you know, a little bit chiller, but just be aware. In my opinion, a lot of interesting people wear cool things. They wear their inspirations and their passions on their sleeve, literally on their chest too. So Notice another great way to talk to people is just, you are in the same situation. Both of you have ordered a $10 latte in East Austin. Great.
Chapter 4: What is the three strike rule in conversations?
You can talk about it. You can be like, Hey, what flavor did you get? You got to initiate now. Okay. This is important because this is where I think a lot of people get things wrong. How do I know if this person wants to talk to me? It's hard. Not really. The three strike rule.
If you talk to them three times, you give them three kind of, you know, jabs of conversation and they're being dry, like one word response. They're not asking you any questions back. Drop it. Drop it. It's not worth. No, they don't want to talk to you. Don't take it personally. They're just doing their own thing. You move on. Easy game. What are they interested in?
If they tell you something that they're interested in, oh, I didn't know that you love space. What got you interested in space? The origin. Origin story. Why are they interested in what they're interested in? What do they like about what they're interested in? What do you like about space?
I love space because when I look up in the night sky, I see all these stars and I'm just like, they're so far away. For some people though, it's really hard to pick up on social cues. And if you're one of those people, do your best. If you have good intentions and you're being genuine, it'll be okay. And the conversation will kind of naturally end itself too. So don't worry.
Okay, you're in a conversation now. You're chopping it up with bro, with broette, with whoever. How do you actually have a good conversation?
We can do everything that comes. Das Handwerk.
In my opinion, it's about curiosity.
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Chapter 5: How do I keep a conversation going?
Chapter 6: What to do if the other person isn't interested?
If they tell you something that they're interested in, oh, I didn't know that you love space. What got you interested in space? The origin. Origin story. Why are they interested in what they're interested in? What do they like about what they're interested in? What do you like about space?
I love space because when I look up in the night sky, I see all these stars and I'm just like, they're so far away. For some people though, it's really hard to pick up on social cues. And if you're one of those people, do your best. If you have good intentions and you're being genuine, it'll be okay. And the conversation will kind of naturally end itself too. So don't worry.
Okay, you're in a conversation now. You're chopping it up with bro, with broette, with whoever. How do you actually have a good conversation?
We can do everything that comes. Das Handwerk.
In my opinion, it's about curiosity.
Be curious. Chop it up with them like they're an old friend and you're asking about their life and what they've been up to. Relate to them. You know what? Yeah, I like space too. It's kind of crazy when you think about it. There's so many stars and we haven't really been to any. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it is kind of crazy. You already got a conversation started. Curiosity comes from questions.
You have to ask questions if you want a good conversation. For me, I treat every convo with somebody as an opportunity to learn. Because they've lived an experience with their passions and the things they love. And that is a perspective that I haven't lived through. It's valuable to me. I can learn something. Yesterday, I was talking to a couple. They've lived in Colorado for 40 years.
And they were telling me about all of the beautiful, bougie ski resorts in Colorado. Now, did I have an interest in ski resorts before I talked to them? Like, that's such a random thing, right? Not really, but when we opened that can of worms, I realized, yo, this is actually kind of crazy.
The origins of how all of these ski resorts got started is rooted from like World War II and people from the GI Bill buying up land in Vail and Breckenridge, and now it's worth bajillions of dollars. It was really interesting. I found things to be interested in because I asked questions. You have to ask questions. Have you listened to the new Talk Tua podcast? Great question. Yes or no? Yes.
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