as a chronic over thinker, I've learned that sometimes its better to do something, make a mistake, and then learn from it. not everything will be perfect. not everything needs to be perfect. you got this. https://linktr.ee/thezurkieshow
Chapter 1: What does it mean to be an overthinker?
I've always been an overthinker. I've always been that person that overcooks and thinks, well, what if what I'm saying is bad? What if the person is not going to understand what I'm trying to get across? What if me sending this meme to my crush is actually going to result in her blocking me and telling all of her friends? What just happened? No, not really.
I mean, listen, when you send somebody a chopped chin video or a Magusta face or a troll face, it's kind of like the litmus test. I've realized that that's like, you know, it's like accounting. If you're a business major, accounting a lot of the times is the class that will just destroy your GPA if you're not, you know, careful. Thankfully, I didn't take accounting because hell no.
But I've realized over the years that That overthinking, obviously, is not a good thing. It's an important thing. Thinking is very, very important. But something that helps me curb my overthinking, especially, man, when it comes to just like existing, talking to new people, when it comes to making things, that's a huge thing for me. I just remind myself that it's not that deep.
It's never been that deep. What really opened my eye to this was actually learning to be more social when I was in college. I used to think that anyone I spoke to saw every bit of my flaws.
Chapter 2: How can you curb overthinking in social situations?
If I had a pimple on my face, if I, you know, was feeling self-conscious about my weight that day or if I even felt like, man, I'm ugly, they were going to notice and that was going to impact the way that they were going to treat me. And I remember like having a conversation with somebody who, you know, I knew in college we were homies and they were a very attractive person.
And I remember being like, man, it's just like it must be so easy to like talk to people and just be social because like you're like a very good looking, attractive woman. And I'm, you know, whatever. And she was like, no, no. What do you mean? And I was like, I mean, hello, like you, you could be in Vogue. You could literally be invoked.
Chapter 3: Why do we perceive others as noticing our flaws?
You could be living in Paris, eating a baguette and a cigarette for breakfast, and you would be fine. And she's like, Zerky, I deal with the same insecurities as anybody. And I'm like, what? I mean, some days I feel like that girl, but other days I feel fat, I feel ugly, I feel worthless. And most of the time, when people come up to me, it's a good change of pace.
I welcome it because I'm too scared to do that myself. It's interesting when you start to view people as people. You start to view your actions not through the lens of what other people will think, but of what you would think of yourself. And it's a very sobering reality that a lot of us don't act, don't do things because of fear. We're afraid. Right? Like, you don't go up to your crush.
Chapter 4: What are the fears that hold us back from taking action?
You don't DM that person and ask them to go get coffee with you at an overpriced latte shop that sells art to. Which, I mean, that's cool. But, like, why is my coffee $20? It can be $7. And I would still be like, bruh. But, like, at least, okay. But... It really does humanize the other person and it makes you realize that we all we all have insecurities. We all are stressing about us all the time.
And most of the time, it's really not that deep. It's really not that deep. It's the same thing with, I think, trying something new. I had a lot of fear when I first started the Zerky show. I was kind of like, who is going to like this? And I stopped thinking so much about that and started thinking, well, how do I make something good? How do I make something that I would watch and I would enjoy?
And instead of focusing on what would I do to make other people like me? How can I dance? How can I be a marionette on camera for people to be like, oh, he's cool? I thought to myself, what would I want to watch? Like, what if I made something that I enjoyed and I found cool and I found people that shared that like-minded vision?
And what if you approached your beliefs about other people in the same way? What if instead of being like, how do I approach this person that is like intimidatingly attractive, you know, in a certain way for them to like me, like how do I be like the most, you know, how do I sit in an alpha way for them to notice me across the class, which they're not.
Chapter 5: How can vulnerability lead to better connections?
What if you just focused on approaching them the way that you would want to be approached? What if you just focused on doing the action that you would want somebody to do to you? Literally just saying hello. What's your name? Oh, I like your shirt. I didn't know you were a big Lady Gaga fan. That's awesome. I love poker face. That was like my jam in elementary school. You know?
We oftentimes overcomplicate simple things and I do that all the time with like emails or getting back to people or reaching out to people. I think I need to be in a certain position. I need to be at a certain state in order to do it. When you don't, Because you are creating a version of a situation or a person in your mind, which is not grounded in reality. A lot of it is caked in fear.
It's like cake boss, you know? Goated show, by the way. Oh my goodness, I might have to get a cake boss one day, you know, at my birthday, bro. Because those cakes were like, they would make like PS4 cakes. What? Who does that? That's so sick. But you're making this giant cake, which is just not real when you cut into it. You're like, oh, this is not at all what I thought it was going to be.
It's really not that deep. A lot of our simple desires are behind just a question or they're behind just a level of communication, which you have to be vulnerable with. I mean, it takes a lot of vulnerability and humility to go into something being like, I don't know if this person is going to like this, but I'm going to do this in the way that I like it. And hopefully they'll reciprocate it.
And if they don't, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be. And at least you know. Because what is the other alternative? You just don't do it? Really? That's the meta? It's just not? No. No, I'm just going to be nonchalant. Chill back here. Don't mind me. No, be chalant. Be chalant. It's not that deep. It's really not that deep.
I used to get in my head a lot about like talking to people at like a bar when I was in college. I feel like when you, some colleges are like this, others are like a little bit more social, but there are like these weird social barriers sometimes in college, especially when you go to a bar, which is like people stick to their friends and like, it's so odd to me.
I don't know if anyone shares the same sentiment, but I felt like in college, I would go out with a group of people to a bar, right?
and officially we were all of age and we would go to the bar and just like stand around in our group we wouldn't intermingle with the other people that were at that bar which like the bar is a third space I feel like that's a place where you meet people you want to exchange you know new conversations with other people but I felt like during my college experience not gonna lie a lot of people were like
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Chapter 6: What strategies can help simplify decision-making?
kind of in like a diva mode like they were like don't talk to me and I was it you know and it's funny because that was probably an assumption that was wrong and it wasn't that deep and I should have and when I did I had some great conversations I even met people like I met friends and I made friends but it's really the assumptions man that's like no Sam Gallatry it really is the assumptions that gets you down you know because if it's love that you want I'll give you everything
Hello. Bro, if you want insane Riz meta, if you're ever in Austin, Texas, take your hinge date. Not to Chili's. Take them to Mount Bonnell. It is gorgeous. Take them during the times of 3 to 6 p.m. It is one of the most beautiful spots in Austin, Texas. This is in Texas. This behind me. This isn't an AI generated screen. But it's not that deep. It's really not that deep.
It's the same thing with realizing that whatever aspirations, whatever goals you have, they're really not as far as you think. In terms of the steps you need to take to get to those goals are actually usually a lot... A lot lower in threshold. And sometimes we have to change, like, the goalposts.
Like, you know, you might have in your mind, I want to go on a European excursion to Santorini, Greece, where the water is blue. Okay, that's great. Do you have $10,000? Because me? Don't got that right now. Full transparency. But if you still want to travel somewhere with beautiful water, there are places all over the world. All over the world. Maybe you have to get crafty.
Maybe you can still go to Santorini, but you got to go with a couple of homies and split a place. You know what I'm saying? And you guys got to take pictures, you know, take turns of who's taking pictures. So you can post it on the gram. Because why else would you go to Santorini? It's for the gram. I mean, I don't judge it. But it's really not that deep. I think that
We really do stress about a lot of things that are so insignificant. And, you know, sometimes it's cute and it's fun to be like, oh, you know, but other times it's like you got to live your life and you got to come to a realization that you can like you're going to deprive yourself of a lot of opportunities and a lot of action if you just live in fear.
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Chapter 7: How can you approach your goals without feeling overwhelmed?
If your entire existence is rooted in it being deep, oh my gosh, everything is deep. The decision that I go to, you know, where I go to college, oh my gosh, the decision of like which bank I choose, like no, pick one. If there's a fork in a road, pick it up and eat some ravioli with it, some pierogi with it. I don't know. Some carbonara with it. Like who, you know, you got to pick something.
We often get in this like decision paralysis of like, I don't know. Oh my, you know, simplify it. Sometimes it's good to treat your life like it's a Cane's menu. Sometimes it's good to treat it like, okay, there's five things on the menu. What am I picking? Caniac combo. Let me get coleslaw, Texas toast with it. Extra cane sauce. Cause you know, the vibes suck.
For those of you who have never had Raising Cane's chicken, I'm sorry. I really feel for you. I really feel for you, and hopefully one day you will be able to have a beautiful bite of Raising Cane's, because it is a religious experience. It is genuinely what some people take pride in, which is insane.
Bro, when I went to college, I was in the same town, Athens, Georgia, as the only Cane's in all of Georgia. And there would be a line wrapped around the block to be in the drive-thru for Cane's. Did I wait in that drive-thru? Hell yeah, I did. Are you kidding me? Of course. That Texas toast, I don't know what they do to it, but oh my gosh. Sweet tea, sweet tea. Oh my gosh, it's making me hungry.
But it's not that deep, man. It's not that deep. You know, and don't get me wrong, like, I think that it is good to, you know, care about certain things about your life. Like, you know, you want to look good. You want to dress nice, okay? Totally fair. You can't, you know, some people are going, oh, it's not that deep, like... I can just pull up in my sweatpants. Like, who cares? Sure.
But if you take pride in dressing nice, if you take pride in your image, then, dude, like, why not? Literally, why not? Like, heck yeah. You know, take pride in that. Like, really find things that you like to wear. Find things that you enjoy. If you take pride in reading, you know, don't listen to people that are like, No, like, it's not that deep, bro. Like, stop reading.
You know, bro, obviously not. But if it is something that kind of feels like you are really mulling it over, you're really spending a lot of time on it, and you are almost trying to, like, reason with yourself why your intuition is bad because that's not what other people would think, it's really not that deep. It's really not that deep. We make so many decisions every single day. We really do.
We make so many choices. Like where to take our hinge date. I'm not going to... You know what? The Chili's thing, it's going to stay forever. I know. It's just how it is. It has become ingrained in the OCD in my brain and it will just forever repeat. Chili's. Chili's. It's like a broken record. But it's true. Like... We sweat a lot of the minor decisions. We should just listen to ourselves.
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Chapter 8: Why is it important to not take life too seriously?
We should just listen to ourselves. Because what is the influence of other people really going to do if the decision is the one that we have to live with? No, you should get the Doc Martens, bro. What if I don't want the Doc Martens? What if I want Roshi runs on some 2016 core? Who cares? It's not that deep. Sure. Let me run that. No, but those ain't going like that. Really? I think otherwise.
But no, it's... There is, I think, a chronic overthinking problem that stems from a lot of things. And if you feel like you've been overthinking a lot, I don't want you to feel guilty about that because it is so normal. Think about it. You're exposed to so many different perspectives, so many different things all of the time, literally every day.
Seconds, you see like 5 million different things on your feed every single day. Of course you're going to be like... What is going on? Why do I feel empty inside? Why do I feel like I'm so lost at life? Like, oh my gosh, I need to get my money up. No, no, no, I know I need to invest in this. No, no, no, I need to invest my time in a friend group that, you know, connect, connect, all of that.
Like, it's really not that deep. It's not that deep when it comes to what other people are telling you, you need to lock this in. What is deep is what you are telling yourself, what your desires are. Because I think a lot of us are clouded with the desires of other people. And I've said this before, but I'll say it again because it is so true.
It's really sad to me, people who willingly deprive themselves of experiencing the beauty that is personal growth. And that comes from listening to what your inner child has to say, your introspective side of you has to say, I don't know, what your brain is telling you. Maybe your brain is just telling you, take a break, bro. Like, take a break. Sleep. Sleep for 10 hours challenge, please.
And we get very jaded with these perspectives and these standards and we see like a, you know, a video about, this is how you approach somebody in public and you got... No. You gotta be at this level by age 23 or you're cooked. No. No. It's about deciding what's deep for you. What's important for you. And don't feel shame if it's the same stuff as before. You know? What's important for me?
Okay, money. Money is really important. What is the shame in that? What is the guilt in that? You need money to live, bro. I wish it was another way, but... Okay, not if you want to go on a date. You need money. Not if you want to, you know, drive around. You need money. Dude, traveling, you need money. I mean, it's just like, it is what it is, right?
Maybe another desire of yours is I really want to, you know, start some kind of thing of my own. Maybe I don't know what that is yet, but I have this inclination that I want to run a business or I want to build something unique. There's no guilt in that. That is deep. That's very deep. And that's very cool. And I'm urging you to do that.
Because the sooner you try it out, the sooner you just start on it and you tell yourself, okay, it's not that deep. It doesn't matter how I start it. What matters is that I do it. I try it. You'd be so surprised. You'd be surprised. You would learn if you actually like that thing or you would learn that, okay, maybe not. Maybe I don't want to be a
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