it's a question we all ask ourselves. because the minute you heard it, you thought of someone.
Chapter 1: Did they ever really love you?
Did they ever really love you? It's a question that everybody asks themselves. I mean, I know you already asked yourself because as soon as I asked it, there was someone that popped into your brain and you thought no, or you thought yes. I don't know if she really loved me ever. I don't know. I don't think she did. I think she loved the fact that I gave her a lot of attention.
Chapter 2: Why do we feel we must please others?
And the fact that I was accessible and able to be there and funny and cool. I don't think she really loved me for who I was. Because I never showed her who I was. Because my whole life I've been living a facade of trying to be a people pleaser. And it's hard.
Chapter 3: Can love be genuine if it's based on a facade?
It's a hard thing to come to terms with that the reason your relationships have sucked is because you've been trying to please people in your relationship. Isn't that the whole point of a relationship? It's for two parties to tango, for your lover to love you. And in my life, the only way that my lover accepts me is if I morph into something I'm not. I should be holding the whatever.
Chapter 4: How can we recognize love that was always there?
Did they really ever love you? They probably did. You just had no idea. They probably sat on the other side of the class and you never looked. They probably tried to tell you but you didn't listen. They loved you and you didn't even know. Plenty of times I've had people that I knew they had a crush on me, I knew! And I just, I just didn't. Didn't do it. Why? I don't even know. I just didn't.
Chapter 5: What does real love feel like?
But they loved me. And I knew they loved me for who I was, not for the facade I was trying to put up and for all the, you know, the gimmicks and all the, hey, look at me. Look at how I move. They loved me for me, bro, and that felt so real, so fresh. I believe in love. I've seen love. My parents love each other. They went to high school together.
In Poland, in communist Poland, they went to high school together and then thousands of miles away from the city of Kraków, they found love in a heartless place. We found love in a heartless place, famously, Rihanna. But they found love again in the city of Chicago. I mean, freaking like who would have guessed, right? Two Polish people found love in Chicago.
Chapter 6: How do personal struggles affect our self-worth?
It's like freaking it's like walking to a pond and seeing a duck. so funny but they found love and they truly love each other and me well frankly frankly I don't know if I'm ever going to be lovable you want the honest truth I'll give you the honest truth because I know I'm not alone who would want this Who would want this? I don't have a stable life. I'm 23, I'm unemployed.
I'm burning through savings. I'm going to H-E-B and spending $100. I don't have a stable life. Who would want this? Who would want this sad excuse of a human being who has convinced himself that he's better than other people and there's something worthy to him. But really, he's inconsistent as shit. Doesn't go to the gym half the time. That's enough, but should I keep going? Who want me?
Chapter 7: Why is self-acceptance crucial for love?
Who wants you? A lot of people want you. You have no idea. You have no idea people want you because you don't even want yourself. And if you don't even accept who you are and what you do and how you look, and you're expecting other people to do that, forget about it. Forget about it.
Chapter 8: How can we shift from self-hatred to self-love?
I'm done with this idea that I need to hate myself, that I need to be negative, that I need to just think I'm ugly all the time. I'm not ugly. You're not ugly. The way you think is ugly. Now, let me be real, right? I mean, if you're under 5'2", you're cooked as a guy. I'm kidding. You're not cooked, all right? You're fine. It's okay. I'm 5'8", 5'10", depending on who's asking.
But I wish I had known this sooner. And I did know this. There was a period of my life where I loved myself. I loved every second of being with myself. I loved, you know, playing with myself. Whoa! Oh my... We're going to rewind that. I didn't say that. But you get what I'm saying. Like, I loved just being around myself. And then I had a relationship where...
I, I didn't feel accepted for who I was. And then that made me question things about myself and questioning things about yourself is it's like healthy, you know, it's as healthy as red 40 or yellow five, you know, it's very healthy for you. Um, but you need to do it. You need to question, you know, well, why am I doing this? Why do I feel this way? Totally normal.
But what wasn't normal was it made me question if I, uh, if I was worthy. And if you don't, if you don't answer that question truthfully, which is always yes, it's always a yes. Then you go down the rabbit hole of I'm not worthy. And then you start coping with stuff that like just derails your life. And I'm dealing with that still today. I'm 23 and I'm dealing with things that derailed me at 18.
I can only imagine what people go through their entire life.
We can do everything that comes. Das Handwerk.
Did they ever truly love you?
If that person is you, then you gotta decide. You gotta decide. Do you truly ever love yourself? If the answer is no, you gotta do something. You gotta figure it out. You gotta go out and figure it out. What are the ways you would accept yourself? What are the ways you would love yourself?
It probably isn't getting that knee, you know, that leg surgery that people get that make them, you know, if they're like five, seven, they get, they become six foot. It's probably not that. It's probably not that. It's probably not a facial reconstruction surgery. It's probably not that either. The only way you're going to really love yourself is through action. It's through purposeful action.
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