Welcome back to The Viall Files: Going Deeper edition. You’ve seen the lies, the toxicity, and the deceit, all on screen… but what happened when cameras went down? We’re incredibly excited to be joined by Michelle Saniei to share her side of the story on her marriage to Jesse Lally, this season of the Valley, and more. You certainly will not want to miss it. “Do you think he’s a monster?" Listen to Humble Brag with Cynthia Bailey and Crystal Kung Minkoff! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/humble-brag-with-crystal-and-cynthia/id1774286896 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@humblebragpod Listen To Disrespectfully now! Listen on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/disrespectfully/id1516710301 Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCh8MqSsiGkfJcWhkan0D0w Start your 7 Day Free Trial of Viall Files + here: https://viallfiles.supportingcast.fm/ To Order Nick’s Book Go To: http://www.viallfiles.com Are you struggling with any sort of dating, relationship, or life dilemma? Do you want all the answers? Email [email protected] with your question in the subject line to express interest in appearing on the show! To advertise on this podcast please email: [email protected] or go to: https://advertising.libsyn.com/theviallfiles Thank You to Our Sponsors: Bilt - Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits by going to https://joinbilt.com/viall Cozey - Transform your living space today with Cozey. Visit https://cozey.com the home of possibilities, made easy. Wildgrain - For a limited time, Wildgrain is offering our listeners $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box - when you go to https://wildgrain.com/viall to start your subscription. Manscaped - This Father’s Day, skip the boring gifts and give Dad something he’ll actually use! Head to your local CVS today, grab The Lawn Mower® 3.0 Plus Refined Kit, and give Dad the gift of top-notch grooming this Father’s Day Timestamps: (00:00) - Intro (00:13) - Join Reality TV (07:51) - Cracks In The Marriage (14:36) - Fatherhood (25:29) - How Intentional Is He? (30:41) - Family and Loss (35:00) - Infidelity Accusation (37:08) - Money Problems (39:46) - Torture (47:10) - Aaron (49:45) - Friendships and Seating Charts (53:14) - Softer Side Of Jesse? (55:01) - Final Advice and Outro Episode Socials: @viallfiles @nickviall @nnataliejjoy @michelle.saniei @ciaracrobinson @justinkaphillips @leahgsilberstein @dereklanerussell
Chapter 1: What challenges did Michelle face in her marriage?
Ja, ich meine... Er sagt, ja, ich weiß. Ich meine, und du kennst nur den Blick davon. Ich kann es mir nicht vorstellen.
Das ist mein Ziel heute. Ich will alles wissen. Ich will fühlen, als wenn wir fertig sprechen, dass ich... Dass du auch mit Jesse verheiratet bist. Ja. Okay. Ja, I want everyone listening to get the full experience.
I'll try my best, but like after this, I think I'm so sick of his name and him. I'm like, I don't want to talk about him anymore.
That's fair.
Very fair.
But after today. But I mean, I do want, I guess, to start how we often start with these is someone who's been on reality TV. I'm a fan of it. I'm fascinated by it. I know I'm probably more than the average person about how the sausage is made and what it takes. I think lately I've also been trying to communicate to my audience the importance of appreciating what you all do
for our entertainment, you know, reality stars in general. Nelly and I have been asked various times if we would be interested in... Would you? No, absolutely fucking not. Because, yeah, because I think it takes a lot to open up yourself, your life, you know, your family, for us to judge and pick apart and critique and question.
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Chapter 2: How did Jesse's behavior change after they had a baby?
So I am just kind of fascinated, just like what position were you in? What was your state of mind? How were you approached by this whole experience? And what made you say yes in the first place? I'd love to start there.
It is kind of crazy looking back and thinking about it because I say I was a little naive about it. I had never watched reality TV, so I didn't know how crazy it could get. Isabella, my daughter, was about six months old. Wir waren Freunde mit Jackson, Britney und sie haben uns die Idee vorgestellt. Und ich war wie, du weißt, Mom-Welt. Ich arbeitete nicht an dem Zeitpunkt.
Ich war fast nicht auf dem Rest. Ich war müde. Und dann, als er es erwähnt hat, wie, lass uns ein Show machen. Ich bin wie, okay, ja, ja, ja. Ich habe wirklich nie gedacht, dass es passieren würde. And then a couple of years later we get a call and they're like, hey, it seems like we're moving forward and we're going to start in a month. Yeah.
And this was, you know, we weren't, Jessie and I weren't doing so well when she was little. Like that started just our marriage falling apart. But the time that they said we're going to do this show, that's when I was really unclear about what was going to happen. And so I just, I'm very easygoing. I'm just like, yeah, whatever, like, I just said yes. And I thought, okay, we can be open.
We can show our problems. But like, I didn't know all of this was going to happen.
Yeah, that's wild. Do you feel like looking back because it's, you know, were you friends with Brittany and Jax through Jesse? Like were Jesse and Jax first?
They were, but they weren't friends for many, many years. They had a falling out in New York in their twenties. I, I didn't even know he was friends with Jax until after we were married. He was like, hey, I reconnected with this guy. I want you to meet Jax and Brittany. I didn't know who they were. So the first time I met Brittany, I didn't know she was on reality TV.
Her and I clicked and I just kind of became in that group because I was always hanging out with them.
What made Jesse reconnect with Jax?
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Chapter 3: What were the major issues in Michelle and Jesse's relationship?
Chapter 4: How did reality TV affect Michelle's life?
Wir sind aufgeregt, mit dir zu sprechen.
Ich fühle mich, als ob du ein Held bist. Du bist brav, für das, was du in dieser Beziehung durchgegangen bist.
Ja, ich meine... Er sagt, ja, ich weiß. Ich meine, und du kennst nur den Blick davon. Ich kann es mir nicht vorstellen.
Das ist mein Ziel heute. Ich will alles wissen. Ich will fühlen, als wenn wir fertig sprechen, dass ich... Dass du auch mit Jesse verheiratet bist. Ja. Okay. Ja, I want everyone listening to get the full experience.
I'll try my best, but like after this, I think I'm so sick of his name and him. I'm like, I don't want to talk about him anymore.
That's fair.
Very fair.
But after today. But I mean, I do want, I guess, to start how we often start with these is someone who's been on reality TV. I'm a fan of it. I'm fascinated by it. I know I'm probably more than the average person about how the sausage is made and what it takes. I think lately I've also been trying to communicate to my audience the importance of appreciating what you all do
for our entertainment, you know, reality stars in general. Nelly and I have been asked various times if we would be interested in... Would you? No, absolutely fucking not. Because, yeah, because I think it takes a lot to open up yourself, your life, you know, your family, for us to judge and pick apart and critique and question.
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Chapter 5: What was the impact of Jesse's drinking on their marriage?
Er schaltet es mit jedem an, den er will. Er hat einen sehr guten Weg, er hat einen Lichtschalter. Es ist einfach so, es ist an, wenn er dich mag, wenn er denkt, du hast Geld oder was auch immer der Fall ist, ist es so, er hat dieses Persona, das ist nicht wirklich, wer er ist.
Ja. Ja.
Was war auf dieser Liste? I mean, there was a lot, but the major problems. I mean, every marriage has problems, but when you have a lot of big, big problems, then it's obviously not good for a marriage. One of them was his drinking. He was just at the time drinking heavily. viel zu viel jeden Tag. Er trinkt Botteln von Vodka, Vodka auf den Steinen.
Und wenn du ein Baby hast, ist das einfach nicht nötig. Wir hatten finanzielle Probleme, also dass er war. Ich wollte zu Hause bleiben und das Baby kümmern. Und er war den ganzen Tag draußen, aber er arbeitete einfach nicht. Er war einfach das Gegenteil, rausgehen und Geld verdienen. Und es war einfach wie ein konstanter Kampf über Spenden und Spenden und Spenden.
Und er sagt immer, er sagt es jetzt, wir waren 50% Geschäftspartner, aber er hat 90% unseres Geldes verwendet. Und es war sehr frustrierend, weil ich dachte, ich bin zu Hause, ich kümmere mich um unser Baby, und ihr verwendet all unsere Geld.
Und ich konnte das nicht kontrollieren oder ihn kontrollieren.
Er hat das immer ausgesprochen? Nein. Er sagt immer, oh, ich habe es verdient, oder es war ein Familienreise, also ist es in Ordnung. Und es war nicht in Ordnung.
But he wouldn't deny spending the money. Like if he were here on the couch and I was like, hey, what do you have to say to this? What do you think he would say?
It's hard because every time you ask him the same question, it will be a different response. So it just depends. Sometimes he will acknowledge it and sometimes he's like, she's crazy. I don't know what she's talking about.
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Chapter 6: How did the pandemic influence Michelle's experience as a new mother?
Ich meine, wir haben Jacks vor kurzem offiziell geöffnet über seine Drogenabstimmung zu Kokain. Ich kann mir nur vorstellen, dass das wahrscheinlich etwas mit Jesse zu tun hatte, sich in diesen Weg zu bewegen.
Ja, ich meine, sie haben sich ausgemacht, also ist es offensichtlich, dass er es gemacht hat.
Er würde es wahrscheinlich negieren, aber... Was denkst du, dass sein Vater Jesse bedeutet hat?
Für ihn war es die perfekte Familie. Ich habe meine Tochter, meine Frau, alles sieht gut aus, aber er hat nicht die Arbeit gemacht oder sich über etwas interessiert.
Was war seine Verantwortung als Vater?
Ehrlich gesagt, ich weiß es nicht. Er hat nicht bezahlt, er hat nicht gespart.
Er hat nicht geschützt.
Und ich weiß nicht, was er erwartet hat, weil es Jahre und Jahre und Jahre war, dass er nicht intim mit mir war. Spenden all our money, drinking too much, just not being a good husband. And so finally I fell out of love with him. And then it's very frustrating watching season one because he has this act of he's trying so hard.
But I gave him, I told him the answers like I didn't want to get divorced. I wanted to be married. I loved him very much. And he just didn't do the work. Why do you think...
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Chapter 7: What lessons did Michelle learn from her relationship?
Ich denke, er hat nie gedacht, dass er in einem Millionen Jahren eigentlich weggehen würde, weil ich einmal versucht habe, und er hat mich überzeugt, dass ich bleibe. Also hat er gesagt, ich habe ein Kind mit ihm.
Aber sobald das passiert, weißt du, dass es in deinem Kopf ist.
Ja, das würdest du denken. Und er hat es versucht, für ein paar Wochen. Und dann sind wir in das Marmont-Haus eingegangen. Und es war wie, am Tag, an dem wir eingegangen sind, hatten wir Einwohner. Und er wurde so verpasst mit seinem Freund. Und ich habe das Baby und ich direkte alle Einwohner, was zu tun und alles. Und er war so trank aus seinem Geist, dass er nicht auf sein Bett gehen konnte.
Und ich bin so, das ist wie ein Moment für mich. Ich habe nie in einem Haus gelebt. Es war ein großer Moment, als wir in ein Haus eingegangen sind. Wie dein erstes Haus mit deiner Familie, wie deine Tochter.
Ja, genau.
Und es war einfach ein weiteres kleines Beispiel, dass es ein besonderer Moment sein sollte oder ein schöner Moment. Du musst dich nicht mit deinem Freund auf der Runde trinken, während wir ein Kind haben und versuchen, alles herauszufinden. Fühlt sich das an, als würde er dir besondere Momente zerstören?
Viel. Oft, ja. Wie war dein Geburtstag mit Isabella?
I've mentioned it. It was hard because I was pregnant and I had her in April 2020, which was the worst time of COVID. Every day the law was changing in the hospital, whether a parent could go in or if one person could go in. So I didn't even know. And I was always afraid of giving birth. Like that was my one thing. I hate hospitals, blood, pain, all of that.
So I remember having contractions at like 9pm. This is like April 13th. And he's going to bed and I'm like, I'm starting to feel it. He's like, well, try to go as long as you can, because they always send you back from the hospital if you're not. Wenn du nicht nah genug bist, genau. Also hat er die ganze Nacht geschlafen. Er sagt mir, wach mich auf, wenn du denkst, du bist bereit zu gehen.
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Chapter 8: How does Michelle view Jesse's persona on reality TV?
Wegen dessen, was er wusste.
Ja.
Wow.
Ich meine, es ist wie, wiederum, meine Schwester ist ein holistischer Nutritionist und sie ist in all das. Aber sie ist in der Schule und hat studiert. Und wenn ich ihr eine Frage frage, kann sie einen Punkt der Sicht artikulieren und nicht nur anders sein.
So, long story short, I was at 7 centimeters for 20 hours and I was getting high blood pressure. I was starting to get really ill and the doctor was like, we need to give you Pitocin to help you. And Jesse was very anti, absolutely not. Does he even know what that is? I think he did. He probably did a quick Google search while they said it and then he was like, no, you can't.
So he's fighting with my... Imagine playing doctor at a hospital.
He's arguing with the doctor and like, I barely can breathe and I'm just not feeling good. And finally, I just hear the doctor like, I'm overruling you. This can affect the baby and Michelle. And so he did it. And then finally I had Isabella and he had about 15 minutes with her and had to go home. So I had to be at the hospital by myself. Why do you have to go home? For COVID. COVID. Yeah.
So he was allowed like 15 minutes with her. Wow. Und das war der Anfang.
Ich wollte gerade sagen, und dann kann ich nicht mal vorstellen, wie postpartum, natürlich, du gehst so viel physisch, mentale, emotional durch und wie...
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