Tim discusses the White House’s leaked group chat, Rachel Zegler’s response to the internet’s Snow White hate, a Turkish Graduate student who was pulled off the street for supporting Palestine, Door Dash letting customers pay for food in installment loans, and a quick update on rapper Dank Demoss. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://punchup.live/TimDillon SPONSORS: Helix Go To https://helixsleep.com/timd To Get 25% OFF Sitewide (3/28 - 3/31). ARMRA Go To https://tryarmra.com/TIM To Get 15% OFF Your First Order. Stash Go to https://get.stash.com/tim To Receive $25 towards your first stock purchase. DraftKings Casino Go To https://casino.draftkings.com & Use Code ‘TIMDSHOW’ and wager a minimum of $5 to receive FIVE HUNDRED casino spins on a featured game. Morgan & Morgan: Visit https://ForThePeople.com/TIM or Dial #LAW (#529) ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/@TimDillonShow?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1woKiAazAKPWPkHjds?si=e8000ed157e441c8 Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Chapter 1: What are the implications of leaked group chats?
The government is not even real unless we're bombing something. It's not even a real thing. Like, yes, do I agree with all the Elon firings? No, I think some of them are sloppy. But here's the reality. A lot of it's just not even real. Like, these people don't have jobs. They don't even exist.
They're not even real, and they're being paid for by tax dollars to create these things that aren't real, that don't exist. So in order for our government to exist, we have to start bombing people. And then people are going to talk about it. It's just like if you worked at Chipotle. Is it the L-E at the end? Because some people pronounce it the other way. I agree. It's Chipotle. Chipotle.
You're texting about, you know, oh, fucking, you know, that she's a cunt, that dirty bitch. People are going to get sick when she touches their food and stuff because that's that business. They hire some skank who's touching the food and you and your friends are in a group text talking about what a dirty hoe she is that she's touching the rice. That's this. That's what this is.
There isn't more to this. And then people are going to go like, oh, well, people could have found out. Well, so what? So what? Would anyone be shocked if they found out that we were bombing people? I don't understand. I mean, yeah, I guess it's bad because then the people, we're going to bomb them.
And you're saying, oh, yeah, but our enemies could have found this out and tipped them off that they were getting bombed. Yeah, maybe. So we bomb them again. We would just bomb them again. This should be public. This should not even be in a text. That group text should just be on Fox News as the one that goes, you know, that whatever it is on the bottom of the channel. It should just be that.
Strike drones on target. Can you imagine all the boomers going nuts, getting excited, just sitting in their living rooms, eating lemon cake that their daughter brought them from Starbucks, and they're just going, going, the bombs are dropping. They're dropping a bomb. That's just all people. People just want to get involved. People just want to be involved. I'm not outraged by this.
What are we outraged about? Did everyone just realize we dropped bombs on everyone? Or did people text about it? It's their fucking job. That's all it is. There's nothing... Like, imagine a job review. He goes, what are you guys doing? They go, oh, we're just... Are you not bombing anyone? No. What are you doing? What are you doing? Well, we got together and reviewed the intelligence and...
Well, we found out that, yeah, and we're going to bomb them. Right. That's all there is to do. There's nothing else to do. That's the whole reason the government exists. That's it. It's to give people Social Security so I guess they don't have to eat cat food or whatever. And to bomb people. I just like these Houthis. I think this is good to bomb because we can't go to war with Iran.
It's just sticky and messy. And they have allies like China and Russia. But no one cares about the Houthis. The Houthis are an expendable group of people who are just out there. And Iran doesn't really care about them. They just go, yeah, fuck shit up. And then you'll get bombed by America. And Iran's like, I'm going to bomb us. They bomb you.
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Chapter 2: How should we handle group texts as we age?
It's like... I mean, just... They're always acting... They're not humans. They're not people. They must be put in a cage for their own good. For their own good. Here's the guy whose dad produced a movie. You really want to do this?
Yeah, my dad, the producer of enormous piece of Disney IP with hundreds of millions of dollars on the line, had to leave his family to fly across the country to reprimand his 20-year-old employee for dragging her personal politics into the middle of promoting the movie, which he signed a multimillion-dollar contract to get paid and do publicity for.
This is called adult responsibility and accountability, and her actions clearly hurt the film's box office. Free speech does not mean you're allowed to say whatever you want in your private employment without repercussion. Tens of thousands of people worked on that film, and she hijacked the conversation of her own immature desires at the risk of the... Blah-biddy-blue. But here's the point.
He's right. Shut up in the thing. You're Snow White. You're not going to save Gaza... I'm not saying she's wrong about everything she says. I don't know. I don't care. But you're not going to do it. You're just Snow White, and it's fake. You're actually not even her. She doesn't exist. You don't have any powers to save these people who are hurting.
And this idea that you need to speak up, it's not. You don't. You actually don't. You can just shut the fuck up. You can keep your mouth shut immediately. That's what I would say. I would say the movie's coming out now, and I would get everyone in an office, and I would say, hi, so we spent all this money on this movie Snow White, It's about to come out.
And if you open your mouth at all about Gaza, okay, or about trans suicide, I'm going to come and I'm going to kill you. I'm going to come to your house and I'm going to kill you. Do you understand that? I'm going to come to your house and I'll kill you. If you talk about trans kids hanging themselves or Gaza in the middle of the Snow White... Roll out. Here's what I want you to talk about.
I love the movie. It's beautiful. What a story. And I'm so glad we get to retell it and reintroduce it to a whole new generation of children. And then I know you're going to want to say more. I know you're going to want to say more. And you're going to go, and speaking of children, and I'm going to go, shut up. Shut up. Speaking of children, shut up!
Andrew Tate, they're saying he strangled his girlfriend at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I was there that week. I heard nothing. If he sends me crypto, I'll be a character witness for him. Truly, I'll be a character witness for him if he sends me crypto. I will say I was there. It didn't happen. She's a liar. I hate lying. Okay. Yeah.
One of Andrew Tate's girlfriends has accused the self-proclaimed misogynist of choking her so hard during rough sex inside the Beverly Hills Hotel that she later alerted authorities. Oh, enough. You're very lucky to get choked at the Beverly Hills Hotel. You're very lucky to get choked at the Beverly Hills Hotel. I think it's, you know, the entitlement that people have, that ain't a cheap room.
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