Ever feel like someone in your life just drains the energy right out of you? In this episode, I’m breaking down six powerful steps to deal with toxic people—whether it’s a coworker, friend, or even family member. You’ll learn exactly how to identify them, set boundaries, and even cut them off if necessary. Don’t let toxic people control your life! Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
Chapter 1: What is the purpose of this podcast episode?
Welcome to today's episode of the Mindset Mentor Podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dial. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode.
And if you're out there and you've realized that you have some patterns, some habits, some ways of speaking to yourself that you need to break and you need a subconscious reprogramming, it's something that you need to do to yourself. I've created a video lesson that teaches you exactly step-by-step how to do that.
It is a morning priming technique, so if you want to download that lesson for free, go to morningpriming.com. Once again, morningpriming.com, and you can download it for free. Today, I'm going to talk to you about how to deal with the toxic people in your life step-by-step. And we all know... at least one person who drains the life out of us.
It might be a coworker that you just can't avoid that thrives on gossip. It might be a friend that only calls you when they need something. Or it could be a family member who constantly criticizes every single step that you make in your life. I want you to realize that toxic people
Chapter 2: How can you identify toxic people in your life?
can be really exhausting they can be very manipulative and quite frankly they are bad for your mental health studies show that people who have toxic relationships actually die earlier than people who have good relationships so this is a very serious thing that you should pay attention to and so if you have them in your life how do you deal with them how do you minimize the impact that they have on your life
Chapter 3: What are the effects of toxic relationships on mental health?
and not bring any unnecessary drama well let's break it down six different steps on how to do so okay step number one i want you to identify the toxic people in your life and let me take a step back before i dive into it i want you to be honest with yourself and stop lying to yourself about who is toxic and who isn't toxic because not everyone who annoys you is toxic
Chapter 4: What are the six steps to deal with toxic people?
When you look at a toxic person, you pretty much know like there's probably already somebody who's jumped into your mind. that's probably the person you need to deal with first. And so a toxic person is someone who repeatedly disrespects your boundaries. They might make you feel emotionally exhausted after you hang out with them.
Maybe they try to manipulate you or they try to give you guilt trips or they try to gaslight you and make you think that you're the bad person. It's also usually somebody who thrives on drama and thrives on negativity. And rarely do these people take responsibility for their own actions.
And so one way that you can really identify a toxic person quickly is if you go and hang out with this person for two hours, how do you feel after hanging out with them? Do you feel excited about life? Do you feel energized? Or do you feel emotionally, physically drained? Because I was taught when I was younger by one of my mentors, there's kind of two different types of people in the world.
There's batteries and there's vacuums. A battery is somebody who you can spend an hour with them and you leave their presence after having coffee and you feel great for another hour. You're excited, you're motivated, you feel good about being around that person. That's a battery. A vacuum is somebody who sucks the energy out of you. You can hang out with them for three minutes.
and you want to nap after, you can think about them right now and start to feel exhausted just thinking about them. So if someone consistently makes you feel bad about yourself or is toxic to you or talks down to you or drains your energy, it's really, really important that you start to rethink their role in your life. Your mental health is extremely important.
You've got to stop acting like this person just deserves all of your time. And so that's the first thing. You just got to get really real with yourself and you've got to identify the people who are toxic. So get that first person in your head right now. Who's the most toxic person in your life? Who's the person that popped up before I even said anything? Okay, so that's step number one.
Step number two... is to either remove them from your life completely, or I understand most of the time you can't remove somebody from your life completely, or reduce time with the toxic people. You don't always have to completely cut toxic people out of your life. Sometimes it's not really realistic.
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Chapter 5: How can you reduce time spent with toxic individuals?
You might have toxic coworkers and you love your job, or at least you need it to pay your bills, and you've got... Tom, who works in your office, who's a dick and you hate him. Well, you can't really like quit your job because you got to pay your bills, but you still got Tom that you got to deal with. Or maybe it's your in-laws in some sort of way.
oh, you can't really get rid of the in-laws, so how do you deal with the in-laws? But with all of that, whether it's Tom or whether it's the in-laws or whether it's brother, sister, mother, father as well, you can limit your interactions with them. You can start to pull back on the time, okay? And here's how you do it. The first thing is this thing that's called the fade-out method.
You're going to gradually spend less time with them. So what I mean by that is over time, you're going to take longer to respond to their text messages. You're not going to get back to them right away. You're going to leave them on read for maybe a little bit longer, right? You're going to be busy, quote unquote, busy more often.
You've got a lot going on in the future when it comes to this person, when they, hey, do you want to hang out on Saturday? No. Yeah, I've got a whole family day. I got to hang out with the kids and I got soccer. And then I told my wife I'm going to do X, Y, and Z. Just be busy more often. You're starting to fade the mouse a little bit.
And then slowly just start to decrease communication in some sort of way. And it's gonna, you're gonna fade out. It's not just like a light switch where like you hang out with them, you don't hang out with them. It's less and less and less so that it almost starts to go unnoticed over time. And what you're gonna do is when you do spend time with them, you're actually gonna schedule it out.
You're gonna do time blocking. If you must see them in some sort of way, like say for instance, you've got to go to a, maybe a toxic person in your life is your brother. Then you've got to go to a family event. If you must see them, like they are a family member or something,
schedule short visits and have a very clear end time when you have to leave and clearly communicate that like almost as soon as you arrive and just have something that's scheduled so that you can get out of there because your mind is going to feel much better when you know okay, I've only got 45 minutes and I'm about to leave. And they know we've got 45 minutes.
So hopefully they don't guilt and shame me. And if they do, then I'm just not gonna take it on. So that's the second thing. The third thing is something that I love. I learned this over the past year and I've never shared this in the podcast, but I've been excited to share it once I created an episode on toxic people. Step three is to start using what's called the gray rock method.
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Chapter 6: What is the gray rock method and how does it help?
So the gray rock method is one of the best tools for dealing with toxic people, dealing with people who like to gaslight you, dealing with people who manipulate you, dealing with people who love drama. And the idea of the gray rock method, you're like, what is that? Why is it called the gray rock method? The idea behind it is to be as boring and uninteresting as a gray rock.
It's like you wanna be as interesting as a rock basically so that they lose interest in you. That's really what it comes down to. And here's how you do it. When they say something to you, you want your responses to be short and very neutral. So it's like, yeah, okay. Like you wanna be boring, as boring as you possibly can.
And what you're trying to do is as you go through this is they're used to in some sort of way getting a response out of you. And people who are toxic, they want you to engage. They want to get a rise out of you. They want to get a response from you. And so you're going to avoid giving emotional reactions to these people.
So they know your buttons, whether it's consciously or unconsciously, and they're going to try to push these buttons in as many ways they can. Nope. Don't be triggered. Try your best just to completely distance yourself and just remind yourself, you're not even you. I'm not Rob. I'm a gray rock. So gray rocks don't get triggered. I'm not going to be triggered.
And really what it comes down to is just you avoid giving them the reactions that they want to get out of you. They're trying to get something from you. You're just not going to play the game. And we will be right back. And now back to the show. Another thing that's really important in this method is to not give any personal details about you that they can use against you from now on.
A lot of times what people who are manipulative like to do is once they learn about what's going on in your life, they usually pull it back in to try to get a rise out of you. So then you get triggered in some sort of way. So you're not going to give them any more personal details from now on. And you're going to show no enthusiasm for their drama. Okay. Yeah.
And so the point is that you want to be so boring, they don't want to hang out with you anymore because they're not getting what they want. They want to find somebody else to feed off of in some sort of way. And if you do happen to notice yourself starting to be triggered, because these are people who know how to trigger you. You've been triggered in the past.
And when you're triggered, sometimes it's an unconscious pattern that you go down. If you notice yourself starting to be triggered... You want to make sure that you remind yourself to breathe through it. And if you need to, you can distance yourself for a moment. You can go to the bathroom if you feel yourself being triggered. They say something. Oh, hey, I got to go to the bathroom real quick.
Go to the bathroom. You know, pretend you're taking a dump. Be there for five minutes. Breathe through it. Do whatever it is you need to do. Get yourself back to breathing. gray rock boringness, and then go back out there and just be a boring person. And this works really, really well with people who are like narcissists. It works with people who are gossipers, energy vampires, the drama people.
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