Struggling with your inner voice? In this episode, I’ll show you how to stop identifying with the voice in your head and finally find peace. You’ll learn why your thoughts aren’t you, how to break free from mental chaos, and how to calm your mind without trying to control it. Looking for daily motivation? Get free inspirational messages straight to your phone, plus exclusive podcast recommendations and updates on my free workshops so you never miss out. It’s simple: just send "Quotes by Rob" to this link here 👉 https://my.community.com/robdial Want to learn more about Mindset Mentor+? For nearly nine years, the Mindset Mentor Podcast has guided you through life's ups and downs. Now, you can dive even deeper with Mindset Mentor Plus. Turn every podcast lesson into real-world results with detailed worksheets, journaling prompts, and a supportive community of like-minded people. Enjoy monthly live Q&A sessions with me, and all this for less than a dollar a day. If you’re committed to real, lasting change, this is for you.Join here 👉 www.mindsetmentor.com My first book that I’ve ever written is now available. It’s called LEVEL UP and It’s a step-by-step guide to go from where you are now, to where you want to be as fast as possible.📚If you want to order yours today, you can just head over to robdial.com/bookHere are some useful links for you… If you want access to a multitude of life advice, self development tips, and exclusive content daily that will help you improve your life, then you can follow me around the web at these links here:Instagram TikTokFacebookYoutube
Chapter 1: How can you calm the voice inside your head?
Today, I'm gonna be talking about how to calm the voice inside, the one that's inside of your head And the one that you're thinking, well, I don't know. I don't know if I have a voice inside of my head. That's the voice I'm talking about. The one that's saying that right now. And I want to give you an example I heard. And I've given this example a couple of times in the podcast.
And people always come up to me or send me messages or emails and like, I love that example because it makes so much sense. I heard one time from a spiritual teacher and he shared this story and it really hit home for me. It hit home on other episodes. And so I just want to share it with you again, okay? Imagine that there's a bird. The bird's flying through the air and he's,
Chapter 2: What is the metaphor of the bird and the lake?
He's graceful and he's free and he's soaring through the clouds. And then one day he's looking down as he's flying and he sees this big, beautiful lake. So he comes down from the sky, lands on this lake. And, you know, it's this calm, beautiful lake and sits there and he's like, man, this is amazing. And the bird's like drawn to the calm, tranquil grace of this beautiful lake that it's in, right?
And decides, hey, this is pretty amazing. You know what? I'm just going to stay here for a while. And the bird stays for a while and stays for a little bit longer and stays for a little bit longer. And the bird ends up staying for so long that the bird forgets that he's able to fly.
And, you know, he's been resting on the water for such an extended period, he forgets he can fly and then he starts to actually identify with the lake and think that I am this water. I am this water that's right here. And so he forgets that he could have, you know, pick up his wings and just fly away and that he used to do that in the past.
And this bird that once was capable of flight, and actually still is capable of flight, has basically become a creature of the water. So when the water's calm, it's not really a big deal. He enjoys it. It feels really good. But when the wind picks up, when the water gets choppy, the bird struggles, tries to keep its head above the water, starts to fear that he might drown in some sort of way.
And in turn, when it ends up being calm, he starts thinking about, well, what am I going to do the next time it gets choppy? And it starts to make the bird want to control the state of the water. So even when it's calm, he starts worrying about all of the choppiness that could be coming, hoping that it stays calm all the time, trying to figure out and plan for the next time that it becomes choppy.
And so he's ruining a present moment where it's calm and it's beautiful and the sun is out, trying to figure out a way to manipulate the water so that he can make sure that it stays calm forever. And his attempts to manipulate the water are impossible, basically counterproductive, because the more he moves, the more he's going to turn up the water anyways.
He cannot control an entire body of water. And so he ends up suffering more and more because when it's choppy, he's trying to stay alive. When it's calm, he ends up trying to figure out how to manipulate the water and worrying about when it's not calm.
And so the idea of this whole story of the bird, it's a metaphor for the human condition, specifically our struggle to maintain a sense of control over circumstances that either we cannot control outside of ourselves or our internal state in the voice that's inside of our head.
See, we as humans often forget, and we're usually not told when we're younger, hey, what if, and go on this journey with me for a second, even if you've never heard this before, your BS meter starts ringing off, right? We forget that we're actually the consciousness that's behind the mind. We're the consciousness that's behind the thoughts that we have. We're the observer behind our thoughts.
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Chapter 3: Are you more than the labels and roles you identify with?
We're kind of like the silent witness that's behind all of our programming. And you might be like, this is kind of weird. What the hell does this mean? Well, let me show you real quick, okay? I don't want you to move your mouth, but I want you to try something with me. And we'll just see what happens, okay? I want you in your head, don't say it out loud, to say the word happiness.
We're all going to do it together. Okay? We're all going to say the word happiness without saying it out loud. We're going to say it in our heads. Ready? On the count of three. One, two, three. Okay? Did you do it? Let's try it one more time. Say happiness on three. One, two, three. Okay. Who said that? Think about that for a second. Who said happiness? Okay, now, hold on.
What's crazy about it is not only did you say happiness, did you hear the word happiness at the same time? So who said it and who heard it? See, you said something without saying something. Like you said it without saying it and you heard it without hearing it. So those thoughts, you are the consciousness that's behind all of that that's going on. And so who are you?
We're gonna get kind of deep today. I want you to think about this. Like, who are you? If I sit down and I ask somebody, I'm like, who are you? And I've done this many times. They'll tell me that they're a wife. They'll tell me their name. They'll tell me their age. I'm like, who are you? Tell me more, tell me more, tell me more. I'm a mother. I have a degree from this school. This is my religion.
I'm this skin color. I'm from this part of town. Who are you? Who are you? And they keep going. They'd start telling me all of these, the name and the characteristics and the labels that they have. And they've picked up and kind of placed on themselves like badges through, you know, Girl Scout badges throughout their entire life. But who were you when you were born?
Were you a wife when you were born? No. Were you 37 when you were born? No. Were you a mother when you were born? No. Did you have degrees when you were born? No. Did you have this religion when you were born? No. That was given to you. Did you have school that you went to when you were born? No. So who were you when you were born? You didn't even have a name when you were born.
That was given to you. These are all labels and things that are given to us that we put onto ourselves and say, oh, this is who I am. So just as the bird is no more a creature of the lake, you are more than your programmings, than your labels, than your personality, than the circumstances that you find yourself in. You're also more and way more than just your thoughts.
However, we tend to dwell in the constructs and the labels and the programs that we have for so long that we identify with them. Oh, I've been a mother for eight years. I have three kids. So this is how I'm supposed to act. That's a construct. Oh, I'm a man. And so I'm supposed to act this way and feel this type of feelings. I'm not supposed to feel my feelings as much. No, that's a construct.
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Chapter 4: How can you disconnect from your thoughts?
You went to this school. You're supposed to act this way. You're a construct. You're this religion. You're supposed to act this way. That's a construct. You think you're all of those things, but you are the thing that is behind all of those labels. And then you have these thoughts, which is the hardest thing to disconnect from. Because you can say, okay, yeah, my name is Rob.
Robert, if I'm being exact. I was given the name Robert when I was born. I can see how I'm not Robert. But I can see how I'm not a podcaster and I'm not this and I'm not that. I'm truly behind all of it. But what about these thoughts that are going on in my head? Like, isn't that me? If it's in my head, it's gotta be me. Like, aren't my thoughts me?
And this is where a lot of suffering comes from is that people identify with their thoughts. You think that you're your thoughts. So you say that you are. And as a result, you end up feeling like a victim of your mind rather than the consciousness that's behind all of it. Just as the same as the bird, he forgot he's not the water and he can fly away at any time.
And so it's really interesting when you start to dive deep into this idea of you are not your thoughts, and I've spent hours thinking about this and just really going deep down the rabbit hole, is that you realize a thought is just something that's old.
a thought is just something that's old whether it's something that you learned or something that was you know accidentally programmed into you or something that you just picked up along the way they're never new in the moment thoughts they're always from somewhere else and so anytime that you get caught up in your mind You need to actually remind yourself that you're free from it.
That you're separate from it. And we'll talk about this a little bit more. But, you know, just as the bird. The bird's flying through the air. He lands on a lake. He hangs out for a really long time. He forgets he can fly. So he's there so long he starts to identify with the lake. The bird forgets he can fly. He's programmed into thinking that he's the water. He's programmed out of his flying.
Just as the same way that he is programmed thinking, I am the water. because you've been there for so long, with your mind, you think, I am my thoughts. Your mind is the equivalent to the water that the bird is in. When the water's calm, the bird enjoys it. When the water's choppy, the bird struggles, almost drowns. Same with you. When your mind is calm, No big deal. We don't worry about it.
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Chapter 5: What should you do when your mind becomes chaotic?
But when you're worried, when you're frustrated, when you're angry, when you're sad, when your mind is overthinking and you're stuck in your limiting beliefs and your fears, that's like the water being really choppy. And then it starts, like when it's calm, no big deal. When it's choppy, it's a shit storm, right? And so what do we do? We want to figure out ways to keep the water calm, right?
How can I keep this water calm? How can I keep this mind calm? It's always me versus my mind. It's such a battle. It's so hard in here. So the bird tries to keep the water calm. We try to figure out tips and tactics to keep our minds calm. Maybe I can meditate it away. But the bird can't control the water. Thinks that it can. Must have some form of control over it. Same thing with you.
You want to figure out some sort of way to control your mind. What if you just let your mind be what your mind is and you start disconnecting from it and going, ah, look at that thought. That's a crazy thought. And we will be right back. And now back to the show.
This is one thing I've talked about this in the podcast that I've been working on for years now is I will be driving and I will have a thought. Like I'll see somebody and I live in Austin. So there's a bunch of pretty interesting people that you'll see sometimes walking down the road in Austin. and I'll see somebody and I'll notice my immediate thought is some random judgment.
And instead of being like, oh, I'm such an asshole like I used to, I'm such an asshole, why do I think that? Where's that come from? It's so stupid, that's not how I actually think. I just go, huh, wonder who thought that? Where'd that come from?
So instead of attaching to it the same way the bird attaches to the water, I'm just like, oh yeah, I could fly away anytime I want to and realize that I'm not the water. I'm not that thought. That for some reason could have come from a family member who was really judgmental or me being an insecure kid when I was little. So I used to judge other kids to make myself feel better.
I don't know where it came from. It doesn't really matter where it came from, but I can look at it and go, that thought that used to piss me off because I was like, why do I think that? Why am I that way? I can go, that's ridiculous. I don't know where that came from. Whatever.
So instead of me trying to force it to change, which I tried to do for years, and we all try to do, and we're not suffering because we're trying to change something that isn't really easy to change, I can just disconnect from it and, just like the bird, fly away. So that I don't get caught in the waves.
So I don't get caught in kicking and screaming and end up creating more waves and making it worse. You know? And so life is up and down. It's all over the place. An uncontrolled mind will be all over the place as well. Certain situations, it's cool. It's calm. Certain situations, it's freaking out. There's waves. Ah, fuck, I hate this. Oh my gosh, what can I do about it?
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