If somebody came and wiped out my entire reputation and communication history — gone, erased — this is exactly how I’d rebuild it. In today’s episode, I’m sharing the three rules I would live by if I had to start over from scratch. We’re talking about how every word matters, why consistency is non-negotiable, and how welcoming the hard conversations can completely change the game. If you want to be known as someone who leaves a lasting, positive impact — at work, at home, everywhere — this is where it starts. This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Upgrade Your Every Day. Get 40% off at cozyearth.com/jefferson or use code JEFFERSON at check out. Special Offer! To celebrate Moms everywhere, this weekend only, May 2-4, Cozy Earth is giving my listeners a special promo: Buy One, Get One Free bamboo pajamas!! Use code JEFFERSONBOGO to take advantage of this! She deserves the best! Order my new book, The Next Conversation, or listen to the full audiobook today. Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review! Suggest a topic or ask a question for me to answer on the show! Want a FREE communication tip each week? Click here to join my newsletter. Join My School of Communication Watch my podcast on YouTube Follow me on Instagram Follow me on TikTok Follow me on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What are the three rules for building a communication legacy?
If somebody came and erased my entire reputation in communication and I had to start all over from scratch, here's what I would do. On today's episode, I'm going to give you my three rules for building a communication legacy that lasts. Welcome to the Jefferson Fisher podcast, where I'm on a mission to make your next conversation the one that changes everything.
Chapter 2: Why is it important to subscribe to the podcast?
If you're listening to this podcast or watching it online, I'm going to ask you to go to the place, whether it's with your thumb or on a mouse, go to the place where it says subscribe or follow or where there's a heart or a comment. I'm going to ask you to please follow this podcast. Subscribe. Why?
Because it tells the platforms that what you're listening to or what you're watching is valuable content. So from me to you.
this is my promise that i'm going to continue to deliver the best quality content that i can i really try to do quality over quantity and give you stuff that's practical easy and you can use right away and if you find it useful i'm going to ask you to follow or subscribe thank you
Today's podcast is sponsored by Cozy Earth, and I love having Cozy Earth as a sponsor because, well, I use this stuff. I wear it almost every other day, and their sheets are on my bed right now. It's probably the most comfortable bed sheets I've ever used. My wife loves her pajama sets. In fact, my mom, she has heard about it so much. She's getting her own pajama sets. I'm gifting her one.
She's very excited about it. And I just love it. I love it when I travel. If you are like me and you like to wear comfortable stuff, you can go to CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off. CozyEarth.com slash Jefferson and use the code Jefferson for 40% off. I promise you won't be disappointed.
Okay, if my life was on a big whiteboard, and somebody came with a rag and just wiped it off, and I had to start all over in building a reputation in how I'm going to communicate and make people feel, this is what I would do. Here is my blueprint if I had to start all over from scratch. You ready? Number one, I'm going to speak as if every word matters. I'm going to talk as if every word matters.
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Chapter 3: How can words have a ripple effect in communication?
Now, you might think, Jefferson, that sounds like a lot. It's not. I'm not saying you have to go, just a minute, let me think about it every single time you talk. That's not it. It is a mindset. It is a mindset that what you say today, today, affects everything about who you will be tomorrow, how you'll be talked tomorrow.
In my book, The Next Conversation, one of the first things I teach in The Essentials is that your words have a ripple effect, meaning what you say today affects everything else in your life. Communication touches everything. How you talk to the person behind the counter or the waiter or waitress affects how they talk to their family when they go home, how you talk to your friends
Or people that are strangers affect what they think about you. How you talk at work affects how you move up in your job. How you talk to your kids affects how they will talk to their kids. People you will never meet are affected by your words today. And that's including words you say to yourself. I came across something on social media that really hit me hard. I wish I took a screenshot of it.
But the essence was this. Every time you act... You're trying to make two people proud, or you're trying to honor two people. That's your younger self and your older self. And that was almost a mind-blowing concept to me, of when I choose to say something, I am saying it sometimes for my younger self, to stand up for myself, to make them proud of where we've come. You've made it. You're okay.
And also what I say and do for my older self, the person who's going to have to live with the consequences, the person who's going to have to pay the cost. So it was just a great way of kind of putting a...
a spectrum on it, the younger self, the five-year-old, eight-year-old me, I can see it with my big bottle glasses, and my older self, who hopefully still has hair, what am I doing for that person that I could be choosing to do today? Every word matters. Your words have a ripple effect. And so you say, okay, what's the practical effect of that, Jefferson? What do you do? Here's what I would do.
I would understand that when I speak, I'm going to speak in a positive way, meaning I'm going to use positive words. Why? Because then I will be feeling more positive to myself, meaning I'm giving myself positive words and I'm sending out positive words. If I'm being generous with my positive, uplifting kindness, I'm going to receive that back. And it works in a loop.
You know those people that go, oh, they're so nice, they're so pleasant. You know why? Because they're generally nice and pleasant. They say nice and pleasant things. If you say, I really like that person, most likely what you mean is they said nice things to you. Rarely do we see the hidden act of kindness from someone. That's rare. Yes, actions can speak louder than words.
They're not a replacement for them. It's your words. You remember how a friend talked to you when you were on the playground, when you were six years old, and if it brought you up or put you down. You remember it. You remember what your parents said. You remember how your grandparents treated you. Everybody has a memory that is tied to how people's words affected you. They remember it.
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Chapter 4: Why do every word and positive tone matter?
I'm going to choose a tone that is going to uplift them. I like to say that your tone is your trademark. You say, okay, Jefferson, you sound a certain way. Maybe it's my voice makes people feel something or how I treat them. Everybody has a distinct, unique voice that I can never replicate. And you make people feel a certain way. Your tone is your trademark. So how do you want to be remembered?
Every single word matters. So choose words that serve you better. Choose words that serve the other people better. Cool? Two, second thing I would do is consistency. Meaning I'm going to show up every single time in that same mindset. Let me give a practical application of that. When we get in the conversation, what typically happens is we only think about the words.
We don't think about the feelings after. We only think about the current present moment. We don't think about what comes next. We just think of right now. We don't think about episode eight. We only think about the trailer. We only think about the pilot episode. We're not thinking about what episode 9 is going to look like or episode 10.
So it's very easy for us to say things that hurt or say things that are flippant because we are not paying attention to what comes after. Consistency means I'm going to be very careful that when I say things, I'm going to remember the next moment because I have to continue to show up in that consistent form. What that says is I want you to think of conversations sometimes as you're watching them.
You're watching them happen as if you're in the audience with popcorn and you're watching the conversation. You're going to ask yourself, will I be proud sometimes? of my performance? Will I be proud of how I reacted? Will I be proud of myself? I can't control a lick of what the other person says or does. Not a thing. They have free will. They can do and say whatever they want.
But will I be proud of me? Will I be proud of me? I can remember my parents getting on to me and my siblings, and I would say something, well, my sister did X, Y, and Z, and they're going, I'm not talking to your sister, I'm talking to you. You can't control anything about how they're reacting. I can only tell you about how you're behaving right now. It's that same kind of concept.
You can't control what anybody else is doing. Will you be proud of what you are doing in that instance? Consistency, what I would even, you want to take this even further? There's something in my mind that I kind of have as signature habits. I would create a signature habit. And that is, what are you going to be known for? and what you continually show up to do.
So maybe your signature habit is, I'm somebody who's very quick to apologize. I'm somebody who, if somebody wants to get in line, absolutely, I'm going to let them in. My signature quality is that I don't mind if somebody merges right in front of me, go right ahead.
My signature, my trademark is how I am going to always end the conversation with a compliment or how I shower people with compliments that are genuine or how I end a conversation with, is there anything else I can do to help you? What is your signature quality? action, that it's a habit, that you can continually be as yours. Everybody does one.
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Chapter 5: What role does consistency play in communication?
Rather than giving somebody my remote control for my emotions, I'm going to start my manual very early. Meaning these are my do's and my don'ts, my instructions, my rules of the game for how to communicate with me and how I'm going to communicate with others. That might mean I need to set aside my extremes.
I will always do X, Y, and Z. I will never X, Y, and Z. When I have a, I do not accept, I do not allow, I do not X, I mean, you name it. I'm going to have my, my encyclopedia here of where I need to have a reference guide of if you want to talk to me, here's my manual. So instead of this, you can't talk to me that way.
My manual, if you go to page 8, line 3, paragraph D, you're going to see I don't accept that tone. You hear how that's very different? That's the kind of thing I would start to build right away is making sure I have my manual. I'm not going to people please. I'm not going to feel like I am just getting walked over, that I can't speak or be assertive enough.
I'm going to understand that my manual is something that I'm going to use to my strength. So welcome the difficult conversations. When it comes to building a legacy in communication, you understand that communication touches everything, where you want to be in your life. And if... I would be wagering to bet that if you're listening to this podcast, you know that to be true.
Communication touches every single thing, whether it's at work, how you're doing your job, how you manage other people, your life at home, from the boardroom to the living room, communication touches everything. So when it comes to you building your own legacy, your reputation, what I hope and my prayer for you is that one, you're going to remember that every word matters, and it starts today.
That's the key. Nobody has to erase anything. You can actually start today. You can start today. I can start today. Everything you want to change can be found in the next conversation. You just choose to use better words. Understand every word matters and use words that uplift you, that are more positive. Be very intentional how you give compliments to people and mean them.
Share that act of kindness. Two, show up with consistency. Have those signature habits that you are known for and understand that your tone is your trademark for everyone you talk to. And three, welcome the difficult conversations. When you always avoid them, when you always put them off, are you... hesitate to say the right thing because you're afraid to disappoint them.
That does not help anybody, and it only hurts yourself, especially in the long run. And if you remember, you're doing it for really two people in your life, either your younger self or your older self. For the sake of those two people in your life, you can picture them in your mind. I want you to build a communication and a reputation that's going to make both of them proud. Yeah? All right.
As always, you can try that and follow me.
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