They told us aging meant fading into the background—HA, not a chance. In this unapologetic episode, Hilary is flipping the script on what it really means to be a powerful woman over 50. After her viral episode “How I Turn Heads Over 50”, the internet had a lot to say—some women embraced the message, others questioned the need for attention, and plenty misunderstood the real point. But she’s here to set the record straight: this isn’t about validation, and it’s definitely NOT about seeking male attention. Episode Highlights: The straight-up LIES you were fed about aging, beauty, and self-worth Why your value has NOTHING to do with male attention (seriously, let’s retire that nonsense) The myth of the “invisible woman” and why YOU get to decide if you fade into the background How to walk into any room like the queen you are—without seeking validation from anyone The three mindset shifts every badass woman over 50 needs to make yesterday Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Introduction [03:19] External Validation and Self-Worth [04:01] Aging and Societal Perception [05:57] Claiming Personal Power [07:01] Becoming Rejection-Proof [09:09] Turning Heads with Energy Referenced Episode: “Forget Invisible Woman Syndrome - How I Turn Heads Over 50” : https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-hilary-silver-podcast/id1739660144?i=1000676193898 Hilary is dropping truth bombs, dismantling outdated beliefs, and handing you the permission slip to become the most magnetic, self-assured version of yourself—on your terms. Ready to ditch the old narratives and claim your space? Listen in, take notes, and start showing up like the powerhouse you were born to be. 🎧 Listen now & step into your power! 💫 Subscribe to Hilary's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HilarySilver?sub_confirmation=1 🔥 Grab my FREE training, This Changes Everything (and other free resources!) at : https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ 👉 Follow Hilary on Instagram: @iamhilarysilver 💬 What’s one outdated belief about aging you’re DONE with?
Chapter 1: What sparked the viral conversation on aging and attention?
I recently did an episode called how I turn heads over 50 and it's gone somewhat viral. I've had more emails and DMS about it and more listens views and comments on YouTube than any other episode I've done. It sparked a lot of great conversation about how we feel about our appearance and about ourselves and about aging. Some of the comments were related to getting male attention.
Some women thrilled they still get it, others lamenting its loss, and some relieved to be free from it. But here's what's so very interesting about that. Nowhere in that episode did I ever say anything about him. Not once. That episode was not about seeking or desiring male attention.
In fact, I specifically made the point that turning heads isn't about needing or seeking attention from anyone, including men. So the conversation today is a very important one.
Chapter 2: Why should women not seek male attention for validation?
I'm telling you how to claim your own personal power at any age, what it takes for older women to be more magnetic and extraordinary than ever, and yes, how to turn heads when you walk into any room and why that is a good thing. This is a thought revolution, so I hope that you will stick around for some serious badassery. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast.
Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too.
It makes sense why some of you went right to thinking about male attention when I spoke about turning heads when I walk into a room. Because from the time that we are little girls, we are conditioned to believe that our worth and our value is derived from external sources.
Chapter 3: How are women conditioned to seek external validation?
We learn that there is a certain way to be in this world and if we are not that, then we will not be accepted, liked, approved of, that we aren't enough or that we won't belong. We learn that our worth is tied to what we achieve And we get praised when we do well and maybe even criticized if we fall short even just a little bit.
We are encouraged to go with the flow, be nice, don't rock the boat, help others, and be a good girl. It's really all about what will other people think. And there is a lot of pressure on how we look, on our appearance, all so that we can get the guy and therefore we are then deemed lovable and desirable.
We are only desirable when someone desires us, rather than just believing that we are worthy and desirable because we simply are. Maybe you've heard this. This is what I used to get. Be ladylike. What boy will want to go out with you if you act like that? We are conditioned to please and accommodate and be agreeable. And it has us seeking approval and acceptance and attention.
And that external validation is what makes us worthy and enough. And this is the most diminishing and disempowering message that we can give to girls. It is literally giving our power away. and handing it over to other people and other circumstances that we cannot control. And it's what most of us grew up with, even from well-meaning parents and moms.
And so then it follows, right, that as we age and our faces change and our bodies change and all the ways that it does, and in ways that we believe society or men or others don't value or find attractive, then therefore we aren't valuable or attractive anymore. We don't deserve the limelight, that we are systematically ignored and we become the invisible woman.
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Chapter 4: What is the myth of the 'invisible woman'?
That's what I talked about on the other episode, so I'll make sure to put the link in the show notes for you. But listen, my friends, this is all total and complete bullshit. All of it. And I just won't have any of it. And I don't want you to buy into it either. It's only real if you believe that it is. And I personally do not see it happening anywhere. And I do not feel it in my life at all.
Chapter 5: How can women over 50 reclaim their power and confidence?
I'm 52 and I am only just getting started, yet people continue to talk about this. And I'm actually sick of hearing people talk about what society thinks of women or how we are portrayed. No one else gets to decide that for us. We decide that. Jane Fonda, who I actually love, has a quote, women are not forgiven for aging. Robert Redford's lines of distinction are my old age wrinkles.
But who is not forgiving us? And why do we need forgiving? And says who? Are we not more than half of society, all of us? We allow this to happen and we perpetuate it by buying into it. And then unknowingly, we continue to pass it along to our kids. We are complicit and in collusion and we don't even know it. When you keep telling the same story over and over again, it only reinforces it.
So this has to stop. It stops with you. It stops with me. It stops with us right now. Just stop. We have to stop talking it into existence. Just stop telling the story. period. That is how you change a narrative. You literally stop talking about it and start only talking about the reality that you want to experience instead.
So there are three very important points that I want you to take away from this conversation today. First, To claim our personal power at any age is to be defiantly committed to being true to ourselves, rejecting the impositions and expectations that we must be a certain way or look a certain way to be good enough or worthy or desirable. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of you.
Your opinion of you is what matters and yours only. You are not here to make other people happy. You are here to make you happy. And you are not here to live a life someone else wants you to live. You are here to live the life you want to live. So stop chasing and seeking and proving your worth. No one else gets to determine that for you. Your worth is already inside of you.
It always has been because you were born worthy and you still are. Nothing has changed no matter what you have experienced in this life. When you operate under this assumption, you are impervious to external influences and become completely rejection-proof. You are self-defining and self-determining, an autonomous and fully sovereign being. Isn't that so fucking cool?
So that leads me to my next point. As we get older, we become what I call fully steeped, like tea. stronger, bolder, and more distinct in flavor, more fully who we are. And it's easier to care less and less about what other people think of us and to be more fully and fearlessly authentically ourselves.
It would be nice if this had been the case for us all along, and likely it wasn't for most of us. And we can only hope that the next generation of girls will get to be different. But we have to own this right here and right now. We have something the younger version of ourselves didn't yet have.
The perspective, the wisdom and experience and the confidence and the knowledge of someone who has been there and done that. We carry a sense of certainty if... we give ourselves that credit and we let go of self-doubt. We can see looking back at all that we have learned. It's what we know to be true. And this is sexy and powerful and magnetic and radiant.
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