The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
PTFO - The Ballad of Saw Man: How to Tear Down (and Steal*) a Goalpost
Tue, 26 Nov 2024
It is a tradition unlike any other: A college-football upset. A sea of fans. A 45-foot yellow structure crashing down on the field and heading toward a river or frat house near you. But the tradition of destroying goalposts is under threat. PTFO correspondent and unhinged amateur thief Mickey Duzyj provides a how-to guide, after speaking with students, administrators, an executive at Big Goal Post and the one true expert who can help save a piece of football history: Saw Man. *Pablo Torre Finds Out does not (officially) condone storming football fields or stealing university property. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the tradition of tearing down goalposts?
Welcome to Pablo Torre Finds Out. I am Pablo Torre, and today we're going to find out what this sound is.
If anyone has dreamed of doing this, if anyone wants to take our point-by-point guide and put this into action, now is the time.
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right in front of the glass where our producers are.
There's books, there's a racially ambiguous Christmas elf, if you recall last year's Christmas episode. There's a PS5 controller, a microphone. It's really a junk drawer of a shelf. My wife has accused me of, and she called me this yesterday, okay? This is some late-breaking insult. I am the master of tchotchkes. I think that's great. I agree.
I think stuff, objects, physical objects in digital time. Yeah. Mickey, you're an artist. You get it. Big time. This is important. It's important to commemorate our history. in front of us in real life, tangibly.
You know, it's very in vogue to have a minimalist aesthetic. Right, Marie Kondo. Yeah, I'm totally against that. I am clutter core to the core. I like to collect objects.
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Chapter 2: How did Vanderbilt upset Alabama?
I will guarantee you that this was not on the Vanderbilt syllabus no matter what the course coming into the semester. How to tear down a goal post. But they chopped and chopped and they finally brought the thing down.
The video that we just played. Yeah. I mean, if you zoom in, you can pretty clearly spot... That's topless Luke right there. Hands both stretched into the sky. In a V. Right beneath a clearly tipping over yellow metal upright. I mean... That's forever. That's so good.
So I was watching from home, and what you see, both online and in the broadcast, you see what reminded me of an army of just completely drunk ants, right? Just like carrying this object that's so disproportionately large, larger than them.
Once they got the goalpost down, they started to parade it around, and then everyone is thinking, okay, let's try and get this out of the stadium, right? On the side of the field that it was taken down, there was a tunnel, and they tried to march the goalpost out of that tunnel. It ends up being too big, but they slam it into the top of the tunnel. It takes a chunk out of the tunnel.
They say, we got to back up. This is not going to work. Where are the security guards at this point? At this point, the security has pretty much given up hope of stopping the mayhem. So the students, they're like, okay, we got to backtrack. They're like, okay, we're going to try and get it out the totally other side of the field. They're able this time to get it out of the stadium.
And suddenly they're out with this giant goalpost just out on campus. Where are they trying to go? So Luke says that even though there was no coordinated plan, the hive mind seemed to want to take this giant goalpost, almost as if the goalpost itself was a giant divining rod, and take it towards water.
A three-mile walk from campus down Broadway into what is the Cumberland River in downtown Nashville.
I knew that when we got on the street that that thing was ending up in the river. It's just kind of this unspoken mass movement in that general direction. And I was like, okay, that's what we're doing. I'm going to keep carrying it, see where we end up. But we end up at the river, and it just was the perfect landing place for it.
I don't know where else we could have put it down there, like in the middle of Broadway. Is that considered littering?
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