We check back in with the laziest Santa we have ever seen, Rose, one last time to tell us how things are going at our Toy Drive. Then, Juju Gotti joins us to give us his picks for Thursday Thunder and recap a truly epic show which featured Greg Cote stealing David Dwork from Roy, Amin talking with a bag full of nickels in his mouth and College Mike's abs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Want to thank everyone who participated with the toy drive this year. We will continue to make that a thing that's less hastily planned by me than this year's was. The Santas got skinnier over the course of the week, but not less entertaining. We went from Tony at Cuban Santa. Very big. Very, very physically big, yes, but fit. And then we went to Roy, who is skinnier or less thick.
And now we are on...
Thanks, Nan.
The skinniest? Well, this is the skinniest Santa I've ever seen, though. The laziest one as well. I don't think in the history of Santas there has been one quite this pathetic, really, if I'm being honest. She's barely given any effort to the beard, but she collected more toys than the rest of you. The rest of you didn't do anything spectacular in the way of collecting toys. You got some.
You did well. But I am told that Rose has done better than any of you. Not that this is a competition, necessarily. It's about the kids.
kids Dan who's making it a competition Rose thank you I don't know do you know where I can find an answer to my question I will conduct an investigation immediately I will put myself in charge of that investigation still dumbfounded don't know how it became a competition uh Rose what is happening out there conclude our toy drive please
Okay, so I have good news and bad news. Good news, my challenge thing worked because I'm drowning in gifts. So thank you Stan, because Stan sent us a lot of things. Bad news, I'm going to have to go skydiving. But we're doing great. Look at this. I think we did pretty great today.
Okay, excellent work. Next year, I think we need to have competitive Santas, rotating Santas, more aggressive Santas to see who can collect the most toys and make it a competition where everyone gets mad at each other.
I can't unclear where this is coming from.
So I'd like to do it that way if we could. We're going to go to Juju in a second. But Rose, thank you for all your hard work. Thank you. Enjoy the holidays. If we don't talk to you again, you're the breakout star of 2024. I believe at the end of the year, we've got a giant run that has you as the breakout star. So thank you for all your work on the show over the course of the last month.
Thank you, bless you, and thank everybody who donated.
We love you. Yes, I'm sorry. I just, yes, I'm sorry. I see a lot of clattering in the background there.
You said that, and Rosa's been an amazing star, but you said the breakout star, and we kind of back here said, well, hold on, there are other names on that list. Like, for instance...
Welcome to the VIP.
Sorry, did Rose break the Bill Belichick story? No, Taylor can't be a star.
Or Freddie Kitchens.
Freddie Kitchens coaching the Fenway Bowl.
He's not listening after Kitchens.
Okay. No, Taylor doesn't get to be famous around here. Les Taylor, thank you. More Juju. That's what I'm saying. Juju is one of one of our growing stars here on the network. And his Thursday Thunder has been hurting. He and Billy Gill, when they give you gambling advice, they want you to win. They care deeply. They don't want to cost you money. It's that damn fourth leg. The fourth leg, yes.
Well, four team parlays, I think. You guys are crazy. You guys weren't winning the three-team parlays, and so you went to the four-team parlays. That does not seem to be the way to do it.
The tricky thing is the third leg can often be tricky as well. So, you know, it's a parlay. It's risk-reward.
To be fair, once they went from three to four, they started getting three legs right. Three, exactly. Atta boy.
Thank you. Like, there's progress here. There has been nothing funnier today than the audio audience hearing you talk each time, knowing that you've got a bag full of nickels in your left cheek. I hear it every time you speak. It's my favorite when you're making serious good points. Can you do me a favor?
Ken, by the end of this segment, you nailed the dismount of this show by making a really great societal point that is filled with a great deal of philosophy, wisdom, and unique, a mean perspective, but is also said in a way that makes it clear that you have a bag full of nickels in your left cheek.
Let's do Thursday as well.
Juju, let's do Thursday Thunder right now. Let's play the imaging for Thursday Thunder.
That's right, Dan. Thursday Thunder, it's brought to you by DraftKings. Stay tuned because you're going to hear more about what DraftKings has to offer throughout the show. DraftKings, the crown is yours. Juju, what do you got?
Yes, I'm happy to be back. Last week, Thursday Thunder was a poop on the street. A stinking turd. Sponsored by me. So I take accountability. I'm sorry, America. What was I thinking? But tonight... I see Justin Herbert throwing to my brother Stone Smart. The biggest, the baddest since Will the Thrill Dishley has been out with an injury.
Stone Smart has stepped up and I dare I say he will catch over 3.5 catches tonight against your Denver Broncos.
I think the way we should sell this is by saying not a poop on the street. This bet, we don't promise much around here. We just promise we'll be above a poop on the street.
Yes, and you can also catch this fade, you know, or not catch this fade. It's up to you, ladies and gentlemen. Moving on to the league that needs a three-point dunk instituted some kind of way in the paint. Walker Kessler, gangster, the biggest gangster in Utah, Walker Kessler. He will get over 10.5 points tonight against your Detroit Pistons.
Forgive me, on the screen right now, I have 9.5 points. I have on the screen 9.5 points.
Yes, sir.
So Juju's saying 10.5 points. You're saying Kessler's going over both of those.
You know what that is? That's an early birthday present for our big brothers and sisters at DraftKings, baby. On the spot. You just witnessed a live miracle. So, yes, over 9.5 points tonight from big gangster Kessler. You dig me? And the third leg. The third leg, we gon' travel, we gon' stay in the association, but we gon' visit my brother, Tom Haverstraw Land.
Because if you didn't know, Tom Haverstraw is on the call for the Portland Trail Blazers every day. Check my boy out. So you got to know, I'm going with my dawg, Toumani Khmer, tonight, over 8.5 points. Because, bruh, he from Georgia, he went to Georgia with Ant-Man. I always love his game, and I know that after this break, he is invigorated. He wanna give us nine points tonight, so...
Over 8.5 points tonight for two money. Come here. All right.
He cares about this deeply. He and Billy. I don't know what happened. Do we know what happened to BBB this week? It took a shit, Dan. Yeah. I think he got them all wrong. Don't worry about it. That's old stuff. Don't worry about old stuff. No, the only reason I bring it up is because he's mad at me because I brought a lot of attention to it.
And Juju and Billy, they care about this in a way that's not reasonable. Like, I want them to just make the picks and let go of it and be good with it, but they feel all sorts of bad for costing people money.
Making picks is hard, dude. You're riding us hard, dude. It's high pressure. We want to win for the people. I don't need to be reminded that making picks is hard. I know plenty damn well that making picks is hard. How about you make a damn pick? You know what?
I want to. Listen, we're in a DraftKings contract here, and I should tell DraftKings, DraftKings, you want me to be a part? I've never been about commercialized content. I've never done it before. I don't do that. But I might be willing to do it as part of negotiations.
It's an interesting thing to say during a sponsored segment, but go for it. Keep cooking, Mike.
I'm saying me personally.
You're in the segment, buddy.
Making picks... And putting my ass on the line the way Juju and Billy are, that's not something I've ever done before. That's a big line.
Ass on the line. My ass is on the line. And guess what? Gambling problem, hope NY. Dial it right now because guess what? We gamble responsibly around here.
That is correct. Juju, what else do you have in the way of critique on today's show, on people being mad or titillated by anything we did today? I'm hoping they found this funny every time. If you listen to this just on audio, I'm hoping they found this funny every time I did the way Amin sounded, reminding me that his face doesn't work.
That was a shocker to a lot of people today. Also, too, before I get to this, I mean, great point with the go Paul George thing with the underdogs you did. Oh my God, off the top rope, frog splash. But the question that has the internet ablaze today is does college Mike have abs? Rumor. Holy moly. Without working out, 75% of the audience says no, he does not. I'm sorry, Mike.
Maybe you should start exercising. There were two abs that seemed like they were sitting atop a beer gun. The studio monitors are all kind of wonky. Get rid of the lower third. I definitely see four. He's got four and a half.
Yeah. I think those are abs, especially coming from a sit-downer like myself. Those are abs. I wish I had those abs. Really?
I'd kill for those abs.
It kind of just fades away, though, after the first two rows.
Yeah, he's got to do some leg raises.
If you live in an ab house, don't throw stones, however that works. What else you got for us, Juju? Well, sticking to the code, can you have six-pack abs without working out? 72% of the audience says no, you cannot.
Where are we on this? Are we going to come to a conclusion on this? Roy was a pretty good example.
Roy had six-pack abs, and he wasn't really doing that. Then he turned 35. Let's see, Roy.
It stopped.
No, I am not lifting my shirt. I'm 190 pounds now.
I got a homeboy named Saul Solomon. He had the house. He had six-pack abs his entire life, and he hasn't worked out a day, and he drinks more than everybody. So that person does exist, but, yeah, he's just not as common.
He does not drink more than Greg Cody. Chris, I was with your dad last night. Can we put this up again on the screen, please? I want everyone to see.
What it looks like when a 70-year-old man who's already eight beers in and he decides to do a tequila shot off of a hockey stick ends up next to David Dwork in a moment of real community, and the two of them throw their arms up in the air triumphantly. I did not have any of that happening at the holiday party.
It was a moment of soulful connection that I was just shocked by, primarily because Dwork was right in the middle of it.
Like a dry Roy in the background, too.
There it is.
Dry ass is watching.
You know what? Look at... Troy. Troy. Troy. Dry Roy in the background. Longing. As Greg Cody steals his good friend Dwork, there in the background is Roy staring.
I hope y'all choke.
A totally dry Roy. A Troy...
One of the bartenders called my dad her spirit animal.
No. I can't believe that we have the shot live of Roy losing his friend Dwork to an older man right there, stolen out from under him at the bar.
That is a hater meme. Oh, jealous.
Are you jealous? Are you jealous there that it's drinking or that your partner has run off with a 70-year-old man? Which is making you jealous there?
Yes.
Troy. Troy. Juju, what else do you have for us? Any critique or criticism from today's show?
There's nothing going to top that, bro. I feel like I know the hour we got one. You're welcome.
All right, you got to see it on YouTube. There it is in the shadows. Troy being jealous that his partner has been stolen by Greg Cody.