Episode#705: Bryan managed to find the single most boring PUA in the whole internet universe! And now we all have to suffer as B&K breakdown his extremely poor power point skills, his droning presentation style and never ending "Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!" Plus, the gang discusses the yr24 asteroid that DID have a chance of hitting earth and now, suspiciously, does not. Hmmm... Watch episode #705 on Youtube Text us or leave us a voicemail: +1 (212) 433-3TCB FOLLOW US: Instagram: @thecommercialbreak Youtube: youtube.com/thecommercialbreak TikTok: @tcbpodcast Website: www.tcbpodcast.com CREDITS: Hosts: Bryan Green & Krissy Hoadley Executive Producer: Bryan Green Producer: Astrid B. Green Voice Over: Rachel McGrath To learn more about listener data and our privacy practices visit: https://www.audacyinc.com/privacy-policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit https://podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
His client is me, basically. His client looks like me. And he's talking to a girl who's probably no older than 21 years old. He's probably in his 40s, I would imagine. And there is zero chance that this guy is going to walk away with any of these girls' phone numbers. They're entirely too young and pretty.
Not the real ones. Yeah, not the real ones.
That's true. After our training, once you have memorized the process, you will then be able to go out on your own and, quote, rinse and repeat. Again, it's just like me being a master chef and or cook and or baker, etc. And you, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc.
The next episode of The Commercial Break starts now.
It's 30 in the morning! Oh, yeah, cats and kittens. Welcome back to The Commercial Break. I'm Brian Green. This is my dear friend and the co-host of this show, Kristen Joy Hoadley. Best to you, Kristen.
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Chapter 2: Is the asteroid YR24 a threat to Earth?
Best to you, Brian.
Best to you out there in the podcast universe. Thanks for joining us on this episode number 703,000. Thank you very much. Chrissy, I was going to share with you this week that there is an asteroid headed to Earth that is probably going to mean certain doom for all of humanity. It's called Asteroid YR24 because it was found in the later part of November of 2024.
And scientists were telling us that it had a not zero chance. of finding its way to Earth or our moon. So in the direct path of Earth or the moon. Now, you're wondering to yourself, if you do the math just a little bit, there should be a zero chance or a hundred percent chance that something should hit the Earth, not a one percent chance.
It was like one or two percent, three percent at some point. So I was going to tell you this so that we could all freak out and hide under our beds and make good on the last six years of living here on Earth. But... I just read that it's now a 0% chance that it's going to hit Earth. So that is good news.
You heard it here last, the commercial break, keeping you informed about all the comings and goings of the asteroids circling around Earth. Just last night, I read that it is no longer a threat to humanity. That's good news. This was a football field-sized asteroid that would have created a crater a mile wide and a lot of drama for those living in or around that particular asteroid.
That, to me, is some of the scariest type of apocalyptic visions that you could have. Accelerationism and something coming from outer space, whether it be aliens or a rock hitting Earth and then certain destruction for all of us. Think about this. I want everybody to take a deep breath, driving in your car, at work, having sex with your girlfriend because we are the best podcast to have sex to.
And to sleep to.
And to sleep to. Probably more to sleep to. But okay, if you're having sex then. I want everyone to take a deep breath and then I want you to think about this for a second. For months and months and months, we look up in the night sky, maybe even the day sky, and we see a growing object. getting bigger than our moon as every day goes by fiery ball from hell coming toward us.
And we have no choice, but to suffer the consequences of certain doom, like a black cold night for many, many months until we die of starvation. That to me is the scariest kind of apocalyptic vision because we will see it coming and we will see it coming for a long time. And we will have not, there will be nothing that we can do. Hmm. unless Bruce Willis can get back on the horse and ride again.
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Chapter 3: How would you spend your last six years?
It's already knocked. Yeah, it's it's it's struggling as we don't need to kick it. We don't need to kick it while it's down. So but if someone came on the television today and they said, you know, president or whoever, and he said, Bitcoin, Asteroid.
If Trump came on today and said, unfortunately, we have figured out through mathematical calculations that I clearly did not do, that asteroid is headed straight for Pittsburgh and we're all fucked.
Yeah.
Right. It wouldn't take 24 hours. before everybody was going loony fucking tune around the world. So for that reason alone, I am sus about this particular article that says it's no longer a threat because I think that people in charge may know better than to actually say that out loud. Yeah, like Paradise, they're secretly pulling people into a bunker.
We need to check in with Neil deGrasse.
Neil won't come on the show. I've asked him a couple of times.
God, I love that man.
He said, I'll think about it next time I'm out there doing podcasts. And that was two years ago.
Yeah. That's two years ago.
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Chapter 4: Should you know the day you'll die?
I mean, a lot.
Yeah. Well, tell me, what do we do? What do we get to? What do we get up to if there's six years left?
I don't know. God, that's tough. It's like you need money to do stuff.
You do, and we don't have any. Yeah. Well, first thing, I sell all the equipment in the house. I sell all the equipment, and I desperately try and get a real job for six years so that I have some money to feed myself and my children. I don't know.
For like the last year?
Yeah, for the last year of life.
For another five years.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What is accelerationism and who's behind it?
Oh, Teresa Caputo's got to be there because she's got to figure out our secret word that we can't remember.
Nope.
Nope.
I think at one time it was Henry Fonda.
It was Henry Fonda. We need to update that. Now we need to update it.
Change password. Change password.
Please update your password. Yeah, I think that's a complicated question with so many different – like there are – There are causes and effects to knowing the day that you're going to die. And one of them is like if someone said, hey, Brian, you're going to die next month.
Yeah.
I would be freaking out. Absolutely freaking out. But then I would do my best to get everything done that I needed to get done, make sure that my family was OK and everything was going to be fine, say my goodbyes. But I'd also be incredibly sad. Right. I think about all the things that I'm going to miss. If someone says you're going to die at 89 years old.
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Chapter 6: What's the new spin on pickup artistry?
And it made national news.
I saw that.
Go to Silicon Valley where the rest of the people are with your kind of skill set. Go do something good with your life. And then because Musk cannot get a security clearance because he was not born here in the United States and because, because, because, because, because, because there's even questions about whether or not he actually is a citizen.
They can't actually appoint him to the head of Doge. So they appointed someone else the head of Doge. Did you see that?
I did see that.
And it's some lady running it. Yeah. And it's some lady who her entire social media is about her kids and, you know, treating kids with certain conditions and disease as well. And she seems like a perfectly reasonable, lovely lady who's on vacation in Mexico for three weeks and no one can get a hold of her. So it's like they just like pointed the finger and were like, you do it. Yeah, you do it.
He'll call you and tell you what – he'll tweet at you, X at you, whatever you call it, and you do it. It's unbelievable. What the fuck is going on? I don't know. I don't know either. This is one bad episode of the commercial break. There is more organization at commercial break LLC than there is in the current administration.
That is saying something because this is probably the worst organization in the history of LLCs. I'm telling you that right now. No doubt about it. All right, let's do this. I don't want to get on a rant because people hate when I get on. Well, some people like it, but, you know. Some people like it, but those are the only people that are still listening.
And since our numbers are going down and not up, let's take a break. I'll take a deep breath, and we'll get to what we really enjoy doing, making fun of pickup artists.
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