The Action Catalyst
REMASTERED: Protect Your Time, with Christy Wright (Business, Time Management, Success, Author)
Tue, 23 Jul 2024
Author, speaker, business coach and podcast host Christy Wright covers the importance of saying "no", disappointing the RIGHT people, choosing between popular and effective, and why balance doesn’t mean 50/50.
You can get more of anything in this life that you want, except time. You can earn more money. You can gain more relationships. You can find more stuff. But regardless of how much power or money or fame you have in your lifetime, you cannot have a single minute more than every other person has, which is exactly 24 hours in a day.
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I'm so excited to introduce to you Christy Wright, and she is inspiring and enthusiastic. She educates and entertains audiences all across the country. She speaks at business conferences, Fortune 500 companies, some of America's top universities. And so, Christy, I'm so excited to have you. Thank you for being here.
Yeah, thank you, Josh, for having me. I appreciate it.
So, you know, when we talk about time management, why do you think that is so important today? Why is that whole conversation such a big deal?
Well, you know, it's interesting in the last few years and speaking on this topic, is it such a pain point for people? This is something that we are struggling with in every industry, every demographic, every age, every generation. It doesn't matter the gender or anything.
We're all struggling with how to deal with our time and how to manage it because we never seem to have enough for everything that we want to do. And I think one of the real challenges is that we don't realize just how finite it is. You can get more of anything in this life if you want, except time. You can earn more money. You can gain more relationships. You can buy more stuff.
But regardless of how much power or money or fame you have in your lifetime, You cannot have a single minute more than every other person has, which is exactly 24 hours in a day. And so when you think about just how finite our time is, you start to realize how incredibly valuable it is. It's the only thing we can't get more of.
So it's that much more important that we really make sure we're putting it in the best places, the right places, and using it in a way that's going to be the most effective for the results we want to get.
If time is finite and it's the one thing that we all have the same amount of and you can't create more of, then why do you think some people accomplish more things and influence more people? So what's the explanation for that?
Well, I think how we manage it is definitely a big differentiator for our success. We have to keep in mind, too, everyone's version of success is very different. So someone that is a high achiever will have different goals than someone that wants to have a small people live in a small town and not have accomplishments or accolades. They value different things.
And so our version of success will really determine how we handle our time. But because time is so finite and we all have to frame them out, then how we handle that really determines our ability to be our version of successful. And so whenever you look at it that way, you start thinking, okay, how can I manage this in a way that's going to get me to the results that I want to get to?
And what's interesting is there's a great quote by Warren Buffett where he says, the difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say no to almost everything. And I would say to answer your question, what's the difference between our ability to be successful with our time? It really comes down to our ability to say no.
Because when we can't say no to things that, you know, demands and opportunities and guilt trips and things people try to suck us into, then we live our lives for other people. And we don't end up intentionally creating it on purpose, creating a schedule on purpose proactively to get to our results. We're achieving everyone else's results.
And so I think it comes down to the ability to say no and whether or not we're going to use that time in the way that we want to reach our goals.
So when it comes to saying no, when I really think about that, a lot of times we know we get asked to do something, we really don't want to do it, and we feel this guilt. What would you say to somebody who struggles with saying no and the guilt or the fear that they maybe feel to go, I really want to say no, but I'm having a hard time doing it?
I know. I think the reality is that we have a tendency to believe that, you know, somehow we can please everyone. And I know that we intellectually understand that we can't, but we still try to. And that's where that comes from, wanting to say yes and please that person versus do the right thing and say no when it's not the right thing for you.
But the reality is that we can understand that you will always disappoint people because your time, your money, and your energy are finite. You're always going to have to make choices. And so leadership is really about making the right choices. And when you realize that you're going to disappoint people, in leadership you will disappoint people. That is a fact.
But the key is just disappointing the right people. And if you discern it to understand, I'm going to say yes to this situation because this is the right decision for me and for my business and what I'm doing, my goals. then you have a little bit more confidence in order to say no to that person because you're focused more on your yes.
This is so that I can say yes to this thing versus just feeling the guilt of saying no to this other person. But really, I mean, all leaders and everyone in general, we want to make people happy. We don't want to disappoint people. But I think if we realize that we're saying no in order to say yes, to something better and something more right for us and get focused on a guest.
And that makes it a little bit easier to do that. You need to decide in leadership, do you want to be popular or do you want to be effective? Because you can see both. And you can be popular and try to make everyone happy and say, yes, everyone should be everyone's friend, but you're not going to be effective.
And if you're going to be effective, sometimes that involves saying no and doing the right thing for the greater good of the business and the goals and the proper and yourself personally. But that leads to a more effective leader, possibly less popular at times, which is hard. But in the long run, everyone will benefit when you're more effective.
Yeah. So how do we avoid overcrowding the schedule?
Well, you know, it's a temptation for a lot of people because it's just so normal in our culture. As a culture, we are maxed out. We're maxed out on our credit cards. We're maxed out on our time and our commitments. We are burning the candle at both ends.
And this is just the normal day-to-day where people stand around the water cooler and talk about just how little sleep they got that night before. Almost like it's a badge of honor of how hard we work, how long we work, how much we have going on, how many errands, etc., But the reality is, is that's not what leads to a productive or even fulfilling life because it's not sustainable long term.
You're not going to be as effective or productive at work if you maintain that long term. And so really the idea of just to avoid overcrowding your schedule is just to create margins. So you want to create pockets of time, and it's not a prescription of it has to be this amount of hours.
But you need to have some margin and some cushion in your time, just like we teach people with the faith account. You don't want to live paycheck to paycheck. You need some cushion and some savings and some margin to fall back on. But that's true with your energy, and that's true with your time. I wrote an article on my blog about this a couple months ago.
But what if we just treated our schedule and our energy a little bit differently where we stopped before we were completely burnt out, exhausted, where we called out moments of time, whether that's an hour or 20 minutes or an entire day, where we didn't allow any commitments to come in. And then we were able to focus on the West and recovery and hobbies and helping our families.
And some of these things that then when we went back, we were actually more productive and effective. But the way that we operate right now is that if I have five extra minutes, I try to crowbar something else in and write a blog real quick or catch up with someone or make a phone call.
And it's like we don't have to operate that way and we'll actually be more effective if we can create some space and margin. It doesn't make sense logically because we think, oh, I could be getting more done.
But essentially those pockets of time is what's going to enable you to be more effective long term and be more sustainable for the wall haul and leadership when the demands are going to continue to increase. You can't be creative when you're exhausted. There's no room for new possibilities.
There's no room for spartaneity where you and your wife just want to go off on a trip or, hey, let's go to this new random restaurant. There's no room for so many wonderful things in life like creativity and rest and rejuvenation and recovery and new possibilities, innovation. All those things occur in space.
And so if we never allow there to be any breathing room or space, then we're missing out on all those awesome things in life that also enrich our business and ourselves personally.
So you talk about boundaries. What do you see as the connection between boundaries and your calendar?
Well, I think when you set a boundary and these are absolute, it's guidelines. But when you set a boundary, it really helps you decide in advance. And when you make decisions in advance, it takes away so much of the mental angst of trying to decide at the moment. Every single time an opportunity or request comes up where you've got that pull of, I want to say no, but I feel like I need to say yes.
And you've got this mental anxiety going on. If you have a few boundaries set in place, then you go ahead and you have already decided in advance to take the pressure off of you where you can rely on that boundary because it made the decision for you. So I'll give you an example. Sunday night on a night that my husband and I have protected since the beginning, since we even dated.
And it's just a time that we set aside and we said, with very few exceptions, this is the night that we're going to have together. We don't do anything exciting. We do laundry and just catch up and hang out and get ready for the week. It's not a very You know, exciting time, but it's our time. That has protected that time that we can count on together.
And so anytime anyone asks me to do anything on Sunday night, I don't even have to think about it. Making that decision is effortless. I'm like, oh, no, I'm sorry. That's the time for my husband and I. And what's so great is this really protects our priorities and it keeps life's endless demands alive. from chipping away at those because you have this protected time.
Now, of course, exceptions come up. This last week I flew out on Sunday because I was going to Connecticut to speak and then doing media and then going to Philadelphia and we didn't have much Sunday night. So there's going to be a few exceptions. It's not rigid and absolute, but for the majority of the time, That's the time that he and I can count on.
And it's a great boundary that makes decision-making effortless on you, which is what you need when you're already in so high demand. People get caught up in this idea of, okay, things just mean I'm supposed to work 50% of the time and be at home 50% of the time. And no, that's not realistic. That's not the world that we live in. That's not how we function.
And so I tell people, it's really not about a 50-50 split. It's about being 100% present. When you're at work, work hard, be there, be focused. But when you're at home, let the phone down. Close the computer and be present for the people and the moments and the memories that are happening right in front of you. Life balance is not about giving everything an equal amount of time.
It's about giving the right things at the right time. And so there's going to be seasons where you work more. So it's going to have an ebb and a flow, but people get caught up in this prescription of it has to have this equation that equals balance. No, it's really not that.
It's really just carving out time for the right things for you and giving them attention at the right time in your life when that makes sense.
So, you know, one of the things that's just heartbreaking for me is when people, you know, they have kids and they feel so like helpless, like, oh my gosh, how do I keep up with the spouse and my job and I have kids and all this sort of stuff. Have you seen any sort of common characteristics or traits of people that really do that effectively? Yeah.
Yeah, I think it comes back to kind of what we were just saying. There's no one right prescription for it. But here's one of the things I have identified. The people that are the most fulfilled and have that sense of valor, meaning they just feel at peace with themselves. It's not an equal split of things, but they just feel pretty good about the way that their life looks.
People spend all of their time, or at least the far majority of their time, on things that are important to them. And they don't do things that are unimportant to them. Where the opposite is also true.
The people that they may have families and they may have jobs and their schedule may be, you know, they may manage their schedule well, but when they spend their time on things that they don't care about, just like you and I were saying, they go to a business they want to go to, they take on projects they shouldn't take on, they take on other people's problems and responsibilities that are not theirs, they quickly get stressed, quickly get exhausted and anxious and frustrated because they're doing things that are not important to them.
And so your decision-making paradigm is, do they need me and can I do it? and you spend all of your time for someone else, you will get stressed and frustrated and feel out of power. even if you have all the time in the world, but you can be incredibly busy and incredibly productive and you can have a lot of things on your plate.
But if those things are all important to you, then you have a little bit more sense of balance because you're not wasting time just trying to fill everyone else's needs and pleasing other people. You know that what you're doing actually gives you energy and joy because you chose that whole purpose versus reacting to someone else's demands of you.
I love that. So Christy, thank you so much for being here. We wish you the very best.
I appreciate it.
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