That Was Us
Deja & Shauna's Past | "This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life" (S2E17) with special guest Joy Brunson
Tue, 15 Apr 2025
How did Deja find her way to the Pearson family? This week, we find out the answers to all your questions surrounding Deja and the two other generations of women that shaped her journey as we discuss episode 217, “This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life.” Mandy, Chris, and Sterling talk about the masterful weaving together of flashbacks to the present-day storyline in the show, the HOT TAKE about “Goodnight Moon,” and the parallel of this episode’s title to those on the journey to recovery. Plus, the ever-talented Joy Brunson joins us to talk all things Shauna and how playing Deja’s mom was the role of a lifetime! Support Our Sponsors: - Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for DeleteMe. Get 20% off your DeleteMe plan today by texting TWU to 64000. - Head to dabbleanddollop.com, use code THATWASUS20 and get 20% off your first order. - This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TWU and get on your way to being your best self. - For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to Quince.com/TWU for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order. That Was Us is produced by Rabbit Grin Productions. Music by Taylor Goldsmith and Griffin Goldsmith. Follow That Was Us on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Threads, and X! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the main topic of this episode?
On today's episode of That Was Us, we will be discussing Season 2, Episode 17, This Big, Amazing, Beautiful Life. Through a powerful series of flashbacks, we witness Deja's journey from birth to the present as she navigates her mother's struggles, deals with the insanity of the foster system, and ultimately finds her way into Randall and Beth's home.
Hello, hello.
What's going on, gang?
Wow, this episode was a doozy.
It really, really was.
It was one that I... I watched every episode of this show, but this was one that felt completely new to me. Me too. Rewatching it, I was like, there was so much about it that I didn't remember. Although I do remember like... Just the idea of it, of when people talked about our show, I loved to reference this episode, which was pretty much entirely about a character that wasn't the Pearsons. Right.
And following her story and journey and how unique that was in our storytelling sort of device. Yeah. That our audience trusted us enough to be able to do these kinds of episodes. So I remembered in that sense, but then like getting into the nitty gritty and the little details, it is heartbreaking.
It really is. A couple things, real quick. There's an episode of our show that has Pam Grier as a guest star, and I got to do nothing with her.
I'm sorry. I thought about that.
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Chapter 2: How did Deja's journey begin?
She bad, like, not bad being bad. When I saw Pam Grier come on the screen, I was like, oh, right. Because I've been watching Pam Grier as well. I thought to myself, I'm like, I don't know what the... the kind of Mount Rushmore of, what'd you say, bad bitches? Is that what you said? Something like that. But she's on it. She's up there. She's on it.
She's outstanding. Yeah, yeah. Point number two that I want to make, and it's what you were talking about, Mandy. To find a young lady that you can trust to anchor an episode of television. Yeah, yeah.
Like Lyric Ross.
Lyric Nicole. I'm going to believe the whole name. That little girl. Yeah. She's grown now. She's 21. Yeah. But that little girl... She wasn't playing around. She wasn't playing around. And she was, it was great. We'll get to everybody else in it too, because everybody else is wonderful. But like, you got a little girl holding it together, man.
So quietly.
Yes. But confidently. It's, yeah, it's really remarkable. She's just outstanding. She's something special.
She's something special. So where do we want to start on this one?
I guess where the episode starts, which is sort of, we see echoes of this throughout the entirety of the episode. And this is something we were talking about just a few minutes ago, but like it begins with Deja's birth and the birth of all of the Pearsons. It was Rebecca birthing the big three. It was Randall's mom birthing him. It was Beth birthing Tess. I mean, so it's just like...
I think to sort of illustrate the point that you were making just a few minutes ago, it's like we're all connected. We all share this like same DNA of what our lives are. Ultimately, there's violence, there's death, there's life, there's immense joy and every color and shade in between.
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Chapter 3: What parallels can be drawn between Deja and the Pearsons?
She cut her hand while she was trying to make dinner for her mom. And it's like, look what that kind of like, how that unfolded. That's right.
And the last episode ends with them living in their car. And you see, I see people in Los Angeles all the time living in their car. And I'm sure for every person that I've seen, there is a new story about how they got there. And all the little things that need to happen for someone to end up in that situation. And like you said, how we're all not that far from that.
16.
16 years old. Is her mom present at this birth?
No.
We don't know what happened to the mom, do we?
Nope.
Not sure, but we know she's being raised by her grandmother. Yes.
Gigi.
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Chapter 4: How does the episode explore themes of family dynamics?
It is important that we become parental with our parents at the right time. So it's interesting to... Because the passing of a matriarch or a patriarch implicates that the child has now officially become, hopefully, an elder in the lineage. And a lot of people get older. A lot of people age, but not very many people become elders.
So as we raise our kids, we want to prepare them, set them on that path of wisdom and connection and becoming elders. And eventually we will become like children ourselves and need taking care of. Hopefully our children will be able and willing to do that, but they should only have to do that at a certain point. Not five.
No.
Let me know when we want to get into hot takes about Goodnight Moon too, because I got some. Drop it right now.
Yeah.
I know it's a heavy episode. Here it comes.
All right, let's do it.
Hot take. That book is creepy as hell.
It's creepy. Good night, nobody.
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Chapter 5: What role does trauma play in Deja's story?
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Chapter 6: How does addiction impact family relationships?
Exactly.
And this young lady is there by herself. Yeah. Right? Her mom shows up. And this is the intro. Deborah Jo shows up for the first time.
Yeah, because there's no water. She calls her mom. Her mom doesn't answer.
Because there's a child at the hospital by himself.
Yeah, so she has the wherewithal to take herself to the hospital.
And it was so... This was really well done. This was really well done. And I'm going to say this because it wasn't... it wasn't an opportunity to make this woman look bad. This woman being Shauna. Cause Shauna comes in and she's like, baby, you okay? What's going on? It's like, mom, where were you? She's like, I decided to go out with some friends of mine. It was my birthday.
I completely forgot that the girl told you seven o'clock. You know, at least be home by that time and whatnot. She just goes out and does her thing. Cause she's still a baby raising a baby. Right. And at this point she's older and it's still like in here. We've all met those people who are 42 going on 15.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. And so what I really applaud, and it's probably because Kay wrote it too, is like, hey, can I talk to you for a second? Deborah Jo says, and they walk up to the side, like, what's going on? I need to see my baby. She's like, well, I'm from child, you know, CPS and whatnot, and I can smell the alcohol in your breath and whatnot.
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Chapter 7: What lessons can we learn from Deja's experiences?
That's right.
And it just... goes to show you, as you were saying earlier, having compassion. We think we know someone's story. So we meet Deja when we met her a season and a half ago or whatever. As she enters the Pearsons' home and she's quiet and she's removed and she flinches when Randall touches her. And the entirety of this episode has illustrated why. Mm-hmm.
what this poor girl has endured, has experienced, has seen, has witnessed, has absorbed and digested. And you're just like, I mean, how she is able to be as open and vulnerable and loving as she is with the Pearsons in spite of what she's gone through is just like, is what... is so remarkable about her.
I love that you said a season and a half ago and it was at the beginning of season two.
Oh, sorry. I thought it was the end of season one. No, it was the beginning of season two. Sorry, sorry, sorry. It's okay. 15 episodes. Yeah, 17 episodes, 16 episodes again.
It's like, yeah, she... But it's just crazy what these writers are able to do where it's like you bring it back around to that moment of origin of how she entered the lives of the Pearsons and therefore our lives as an audience. Yeah. and what she had experienced when she arrived in that moment.
And I just, I was so taken by the compassion that you have of like, wow, you don't know what goes on, what everyone is bringing with them to the moment.
I was reminded of how Randall felt like, I'm not connecting. And Deborah Jo, Linda's like, hey man, calm down. I can't tell you everything that the girl just went through, but you can be all right.
There's no one you can't love if you know everything about them. Or at least know more of the picture. If you hear someone's story and you hear what they've been through, obviously it doesn't excuse bad behavior or abuse or anything like that. But it begins to give you an idea of how this person arrived in this place.
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