Please enjoy our 2024 live show about the wild tale of the Madd Gasser of Mattoon. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
What is the Madd Gasser of Mattoon?
So at one point, one of the Chicago papers printed an off-record statement by Chief, I'm sorry, not Chief Cole, but Commissioner Wright, that said that they had zeroed in on a suspect, a mad scientist, and they quickly denied this and said, no, no, no, we're looking for four people, actually, two home chemists and two crackpots. That's a quote. It is a quote.
So on Sunday, September 10th, this thing's been going on for about 10 days, roughly. Chief Cole announced that he had an idea, a new policy. If you called in a Mad Gasser call, if you called the Mattoon Police Department and said, I've been attacked by the Mad Gasser, the cops would come, they would show up, and they would give you a choice.
You could either go to the hospital with them and get examined to see if you have been gassed, or you could refuse to go to the hospital and spend a night in jail. This is the choice that you were given if you called the police for help, right?
And it's even worse than it sounds on its face Back then if you wanted to see if somebody had been exposed to a chemical you had to sample the stomach contents their stomach contents So either you chose a night in jail or take taking the hospital have a tube jam down your throat and some poor nurse like priming it Just to get it going Come on. It just goes on like that until it ends badly.
Oh, man.
Oh, it happened again.
It'd just be projectile vomit right back in the person with the tube down their throat space. Stop saying that word. A circle of life, basically.
You know, we follow the two maxims of live performance, say moist and vomit. Projectile vomit, no less. Like a 30-minute period.
Put a little mustard on it.
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