In this deeply personal episode, Monica chats with actor and Traitors presenter Alan Cumming, who shares his story of surviving an abusive childhood with a father obsessed with his hair and the lasting impact it left on him. He reflects on the power of speaking openly about his trauma, how sharing his story has helped him heal, and why he still struggles with the fear of becoming a father himself. It’s an honest and raw conversation about breaking cycles, confronting the past, and learning to move forward.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who is Alan Cumming and how did he meet Monica Lewinsky?
Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky early and ad free right now. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, everyone. For today's episode, I spoke with my dear friend, Alan Cumming.
We met 25 years ago at a party where we were sitting in a booth and the people in the booth next to us, someone leaned over and started to touch my hair. And I said to Alan, sort of quite frightened that someone was petting me. And we had a moment and kind of both knew that we were going to be good friends ever since then.
So you probably know him as an actor, presenter, author, and host of the hit show Traitors. I've known Alan for so long and so intimately. I wasn't surprised in our conversation when he talked about how abusive his dad had been. But I was really surprised to learn that he had also been groomed by an older man when he was a teenager. So it was a little heartbreaking for me.
But I hope you find something to connect to in our chat. And thanks for joining us on Reclaiming. Thank you to our sponsor, Reformation. Visit Reformation.com to see why they're my go-to for stylish and sustainable fashion. I was thinking this morning, I was awake at 5 a.m.
Oh.
Lying there, nervous.
So this is your first one. You're popping your cherry with me.
Yeah, exactly. Popping my podcast post cherry.
Love.
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Chapter 2: What is Alan Cumming's experience with childhood trauma?
Who's Ellen's mom. She'll be so excited I'm doing this with you.
Aww. I love to tell everybody the story from your wedding, how she made the cake in Scotland and brought it down on the train.
I know. And then she's so happy because the chef wanted to speak to her about how moist her cake was.
Yeah.
She's got a picture of her kind of talking to the chef and being so flattered.
Yeah.
Terrible. She's in good form, yes.
Oh, good. I remember you said something at some point about that when you were growing up, it was like a, did you call it a Scottish Downton Abbey?
I grew up on a country estate, but the Downton Abbey house had been demolished because there was a thing. It's a terrible thing, actually. There's a really good book called Scotland's Lost Houses or something. So there's a thing where in the 50s, I think it was,
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