REAL AF with Andy Frisella
878. Q&AF: Is It Too Late For My Purpose, Feeling Aimless & Siblings Holding You Back
Mon, 12 May 2025
On today’s episode, Andy answers live call-in questions on what to do if you think it’s too late to follow your life’s purpose, how to handle feeling lost, and what to do if you feel your siblings are draining your energy and stopping you from reaching your goals.
Chapter 1: Who hosts the Darn Reality podcast and what is its purpose?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Frisella, and this is the show for the realest. Say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to Darn Reality.
Yeah. Yeah. As always, I'm joined by my co-host.
Brownie points right there.
Sexual chocolate. What's going on over there?
Oh, you know, another day on the internet.
Yeah, all right. We got Q&AF today, as always.
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Chapter 2: What is Q&AF and how can listeners participate?
starting out the week with some good information to help you guys win uh if you're unfamiliar with the show okay this is where you could submit questions and we'll give you the answers all right you could submit your questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email these questions in to ask andy and andy forsella.com or you can go in the youtube and uh ask in the comments section or if you want to call in you just click underneath the q a f episodes click that link
And maybe we'll have you on the show and get to talk to you. So however you want to do it, we can do it. But yeah, so that's Q and AF. Now we have shows within the show. Tomorrow we're going to have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we talk about society, culture, what's going on in the world. We speculate on what's true, on what's not true.
And then we talk about how we the people need to solve these problems. that these tyrants create for us all right it's more of a comedy show to be honest but uh it's fun so check it out there's also real talk real talk is 5 to 20 minutes of me giving you some real talk i've got a consistent schedule of real talks coming up for you guys so uh Those are going to get back thrown in.
And then we have 75 hard versus. And that's where someone who has completed the 75 hard program comes on the show. They talk about how their life was before, how their life is now, and how they used the 75 hard program to take control of their life. All right. If you're unfamiliar with 75 hard, it is the initial phase of the live hard program. And the entire live hard program is free.
You can find that at episode two zero eight on the audio feed is not on YouTube. We weren't, we're new to YouTube still comparatively. So, uh, episode two zero eight. Um, if you're unfamiliar with live hard is the world's most famous mental transformation program in history. It is free. Uh, but there's also a book and there's a book on Andy for seller.com called the book on mental toughness.
It outlines the entire live hard program. Plus a bunch of extra chapters on, uh, what mental toughness is, why it's important, and how to cultivate it to build your life, all right? And the last thing is we have a fee. The fee is, you know, send us money, like every other fee. But if you don't want to send us money, you could just share the show, all right?
So you could either send us a bunch of money or you could just share the show, all right? So if the show makes you think, if it makes you laugh, if it gives you a new perspective, if you learned something, if it helps you, Do us a favor and don't be a hoe. Shut the show.
All right. Help us not be EBT members here.
Yes. You could also look for these amazing first form energy drinks, which are available and will be available nearly everywhere very soon. I wonder what people's favorite flavor is. Well, they're going to, you know, I can't say, I can't say, I want to say, but I can't say, but they're going to be excited real soon. Mm-hmm.
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Chapter 3: Is it too late to rediscover or change your life’s purpose?
You start to lose interest in life because it becomes repetitive, monotonous, and not very much fun. And a lot of people, that's a pivot point in their life, right? Some people, they go down the road of heavy drugs, heavy alcohol, destroying their life because they think it's not what they wanted. And other people, they say, okay, I did good so far, but let me do better. Let me do bigger.
Let me use the tools and the knowledge and the resources that I have now to create something even bigger and when they create that bigger mission and that bigger purpose, the juice comes back, dude. It's like... The mojo. Yeah, dude. It's like you plugged your finger in the electrical socket of the mystery force. Don't try that at home. Yeah, don't do that.
Sorry.
But, you know, and it just rejuvenates you. And I think... We have to remember that we are always fighting against a cultural norm. And the cultural norm is celebrating the weekend, celebrating the vacation. You're not normal if you work all the time. Well, motherfuckers, some people ain't wired like that. And to be real, like if I lived like those people live, I would kill myself.
That is the honest to God's truth. And I'm not I'm not paraphrasing. I'm not exaggerating. I would literally commit suicide. because i would be so depressed and so sad and so unfulfilled and then society makes you think you're weird for being wired as a builder anything outside of that right and i just made a post about this today uh we're recording this on friday
know you can't explain this this this fire this intensity this drive that you have to build create and become to someone who didn't get that gift they're never going to understand it they're never going to make sense of it and they are typically heavily bought into the regular culture and the regular culture at the bottom level is do the least amount of that you can do all right
watch as much TV as you can watch, relax as much as you can. And dude, that's just not a fulfilling life for someone who got the gift. Okay. I got the gift. This person here, they got the gift. And if you have the gift, you should embrace that. And you should say, Hey, I'm not like those people. And the truth is they're never going to understand.
So fuck what they think and do what's going to make you feel fulfilled and happy and energized. For me, and for most ambitious people, and not most, every single one that I've ever met in my life, they have to constantly be building. And we constantly see this in examples of this in life. How many athletes get done playing sports and are super depressed?
Okay, how many people sell their businesses and are completely miserable? And the regular person will say, well, see, all the money doesn't make you happy. They're actually right. It's not the money, bro. It's the process of creating. It's the artistic process of building and becoming and doing things that are hard. And that gives us respect and gives us fulfillment in ourselves.
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Chapter 4: How can you turn mistakes and negative energy into personal growth?
Stop getting the last word in.
Okay, here's what I'm getting at, brother. You need to talk to yourself like you're your own friend, okay?
every single person in the history of the world has done that you're talking about right now that you feel bad about and you got to forgive yourself bro you got to say hey i made those mistakes i'm conscious of those mistakes now i'm aware of how they affect my life and i'm going to work on it but i can't dwell on it man and if you were my friend cam which you are you support the show i'm gonna say this to you man give yourself a little grace
You're learning, you're growing. That's the point of life. And it's not about harnessing the dark side energy that we have in situations like this. It's about giving ourselves grace and saying, fuck, I'm a human being, bro. And if DJ was telling me the same shit that you're telling me, I'd say, hey dude, what would I say?
So, one, stop being a pussy, get it together, and just go fucking do it. That was you fucking years ago.
100%.
I'd say, hey, bro, it's all good. It's all good. We all go through this. And you need to talk to yourself like that, man. You know, when you're an ambitious young man, especially...
um we could talk to ourselves really really harshly and and dude i'm guilty of that right i high standards demand a harsh internal dialogue and sometimes that becomes uh counterproductive because it destroys ourselves from the inside when we make mistakes
But we always have to remember, man, there's only been one person ever that's lived in the history of the world that was perfect, and his name was Jesus. So it wasn't Cam, and it wasn't Andy, and it wasn't DJ. Okay, so we have to remember, man, to give ourselves grace. to be aware of our shortcomings and then to work on those things.
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Chapter 5: Should you be your own biggest critic and why?
and flip that intent and stuck with it correct yeah and it's it's created a very successful existence for myself the people around me um it's created tons of better higher quality people in the world who are happier and healthier and setting a better example and uh it's allowed me to create income and careers for thousands of people all off of that one intent switch so
If I were a young person and I didn't know what I was going to do, I would ask myself, what do I care about? What do I care about serving others? How can I serve other people in a way that makes me proud of what I just did? I would answer that question first. Then I would answer a second question, which is, what do I know how to do?
And if you don't know how to do what you thought of first, then you can learn it. That's okay.
if they align it's really good all right and then the third thing that has to happen is can i make money doing this can i do this at scale what are my dreams and how can i get there because there are things that we care about and we do well that can't scale all right most things can scale because there's niche markets that you can do very well in but depending on how far you want to go like if you want to make
200 grand a year that's a different conversation because you have more flexibility to do the thing that you love because that's a lower income if you want to make 20 million a year or 30 million a year motherfucker has to be able to scale okay so there's nuance in this formula it's it's what do i love how can i serve what value could i provide well, do I have the skills to do it and can it scale?
And you need to find the right mix of those things that's gonna get you where you wanna go.
100%, 100%.
I think, don't they call it like, I've heard it called like passion projects, things like that.
I mean, dude, people call it shit, all kinds of different things. I mean, passion projects, in my understanding, are more just like people do things because they love to do them, not because they want to make money. At all, right. Right, they don't care. That would be like what we do for Haiti or what we do for North St. Louis and things like that. You know what I'm saying? But... Yeah, bro.
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Chapter 6: How did Andy Frisella decide on his first business idea?
But the truth of the matter is, dude, like these fuckers are so full of shit. None of them have really done anything. They're good at marketing a fake lifestyle. And because you don't know what real wealth looks like, you think it's you think it's real. And, you know, people that are on the other end of that mountain, like I can look at that or someone like and be like, fuck out of here, dude.
You know what I'm saying? Like it's it's it's. we have a lot of dudes taking advantage of people and it, and it makes people, it makes people demoralized because they think they're doing it wrong.
Well, I think my point too was getting to that. It's like, You know, at 23, bro, you couldn't, like, are you even able, would you even be able to manage millions of dollars in your bank account right then? You know what I'm saying? Like, what's the wealth timeline? Like, are there not schemes and shit that you should have?
Well, I mean, there's 23-year-olds that have made billions of dollars. So we got to be careful about...
you know that um but to answer your question if you don't have experience managing money no you're not going to know how to manage it this is why we see all the athletes lose all their money this is why we see you know the lottery winners lose all their money because they don't know anything about money right they don't know how to make it work for them they don't know where to invest it they don't know how to run a business you know they think it's just going to be there forever because they don't have the perspective
know and you can't blame them because no one ever taught them you know um but no i mean managing money is a skill in itself and it's gonna take for most people it takes making money losing money making money losing money and then finally you make it again you're like i'm not losing it yeah i mean dude look that's the reality so um yeah no it's a real thing you know you
The process of building will teach you responsibility, right? Because you'll manage cashflow and profitability and you'll start to realize what you can afford, what you can't afford. But getting it overnight, you wouldn't even want that, bro. And I'm gonna tell you this too, because the hungry days, the lean days, the hard days, the days of pain and struggle and hopelessness and frustration.
When you look back on those days, those are the days you're gonna value the most because those are the days that taught you everything you actually need. The grit, the endurance, the mental toughness, all the skills, how to be resourceful. And if you take someone and allow them to skip that process
And then that person who had to learn all the shit the hard way has to compete with that person at some point in time. The person who had to struggle is gonna kick the fuck out of the person that got it quick. That's the reality because like bro, I don't care who I go up against. I could go up against CEOs of the biggest companies in the world.
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Chapter 7: What advice is given for feeling aimless and starting your own business?
Hello, it's Mandel.
This is Mandel? Yeah. Yo, what's up? This is DJ. Yeah, this is DJ. How'd you get? Oh, man. Mandel, what's up, bro?
What's going on, Andy? How you doing, man?
I'm doing good. How are you?
Man, I'm doing great. Yeah, nah, man, this is no doubt one of the best days of my life. I mean it.
Well, we're going to make it better, bro. Where are you calling in from?
Yeah, Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
Sioux Falls.
That's a beautiful country up here. Yeah, it is. It's nice up here, though. It's a good state. All right, brother.
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