REAL AF with Andy Frisella
857. Q&AF: Getting A Raise As A Top Performer, How To Be Calm & Developing Entrepreneur Mindset In Kids
Mon, 24 Mar 2025
On today's episode, Andy answers your questions on what’s the best to way to ask for a raise when you are the top performer in your company, how to develop the ability to stay calm and focused in stressful situations, and how to help your kids to develop the entrepreneurial mindset to set them up for long-term success in life.
Chapter 1: How does Q&AF work on Andy Frisella's podcast?
What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the real. Let's say goodbye to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking reality. Guys, today we have Q and AF. That's where you submit the questions, and we give you the answers. Now, you can submit your questions a few different ways.
The first way is, guys, email these questions into askandy at andypurcell.com. Or you go on YouTube under the Q&A episodes, drop your question in the comments, and we'll choose some from there as well. Now, throughout the week, we have shows within the show. It's not always Q&A. Tomorrow, we'll have CTI. That stands for Cruise the Internet. That's where we put topics on the screen.
We speculate on what's going on. We talk about what's true and what's not true. And then we talk about how we, the people, have to solve these problems going on in the world. Other times throughout the week, we might have Real Talk. Real Talk is just five to 20 minutes of me giving you some Real Talk. And then sometimes we have 75 Hard Versus.
Chapter 2: What is Andy Frisella's 75 Hard Program?
That's where someone who has completed the 75 Hard Program comes on the show, talks about how their life was before, how their life is after, and how they use the 75 Hard Program to take control of their life. Now, if you're unfamiliar with 75 Hard, it's the initial phase of the Live Hard Program, which can be found for free online. at episode 208 on the audio feed.
Again, that's 208 on the audio feed. There's also a book at andyfrasella.com called The Book on Mental Toughness. You can get that book. It's not free, but it does go much further in depth than what the podcast does. So it has the entire Live Hard program. It has the entire 75 Hard book inside of that book. It has multiple chapters on mental toughness and a whole lot of extra stuff as well.
Chapter 3: How can you support Andy Frisella's show?
So that book is available at andypurcell.com. uh with that being said we are the largest show in the world that does not run ads now i do have an ask and the ask is very simple uh one share the show help us grow the show the show makes you think that makes you laugh it gives you new perspective if you learn some valuable skills do us a favor And help us grow the show by sharing it. All right?
We have a saying we say around here. It goes like, don't be a hoe, share the show. All right? And then also, when you see First Form in your convenience stores, in your grocery stores, wherever you buy your stuff, look for these First Form energy drinks and First Form snacks, meat sticks, protein bars, and give us a little support that way. That goes a long way for us. So that's all I ask.
So that's that. What's up?
What's going on, Yokeness? Yeah, I'm getting there. Yeah. Getting back. Yeah, man. No, it's a great day, man. We got some good questions here. Really? Yeah. I mean, I think so. To be determined. So what do you got? I got three good ones for you. That's what I thought. Yeah. I got three good ones for you, man.
Yeah. All right.
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Chapter 4: What is the MFCEO project and its upcoming app?
everything good with you though yeah yeah man everything's good uh you know staying focused feeling real focused um more focused than i felt in quite a long time feeling good uh excited about the future you know got a lot of new stuff getting ready to launch as you know but you guys don't know really yet um but the biggest thing you do know about which is the the mfco project's coming back it's going to be on an app
And we're going to inform you about that when it drops via email. I'm not really going to talk about it on the show. I'm not going to go out there and talk about it on social. This is for you guys who have supported me for many, many, many years. And you can get that through the email. So if you're not on the email list, I know most of you guys are because you get the enneagrams every day.
Go to my site, andyfrasella.com. Register for the Andygram, which is a daily email that you're going to get. I'm not going to blow you up with a bunch of bullshit every single day, 15 fucking emails a day. I hate that shit, too. We're not going to sell your information to other people. Go on there. Sign up.
You're going to get valuable information sent to your inbox once a day, and then you'll get an email about when we drop the app. I'm excited about that, bro. As you know, we've been recording those for quite some time. And I'm having fun recording them, dude.
It's really my wheelhouse to talk about business and success and winning and mindset and the psychology behind winning, how you have to think, how you have to act, and then obviously the techniques of how to win. These are the things I enjoy to talk about the most. And it energizes me as opposed to talking about the current events, which sometimes leave me frustrated.
As they do you but you know, I think it's important that we need we need to understand both especially as entrepreneurs You know, we have to understand the social environment because if we don't have good soil meaning freedom to plant our seeds in they can't sprout and so in addition to that we need the techniques and you know, we have
some big problems going on in the world and in this country but the reality is is those problems are solved by each of us individually and like i say to you guys all the time personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion and that includes becoming financially free of the system building things becoming the best possible version of ourselves building creating becoming
everything that we were here to be. And once we become great, our family picks it up. When our family picks it up, our neighbors pick it up. When our neighbors pick it up, our community picks it up and the standard of everybody raises. And we all have a unique responsibility and an independent responsibility to do that.
And so I'm excited to sort of merge these two things together that I've done over the last 10 years. We spent the first five years doing MFCEO project. We spent the last five doing Real AF. And I'm really excited to really show you guys what we have cooked up for you. It's much different than the old MFCEO. We have a lot of people who have gone on to create
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Chapter 5: What should you do if you don't get a raise despite top performance?
You know what I mean? 100%, man. Well, personal excellence is the ultimate rebellion. So let's make some people rebellious today. Yeah, let's do it. Guys, Andy, question number one. Andy, I'm not even sure where to begin with this question, but I'm looking for your opinion on my situation.
I recently received my yearly performance review, which I met or exceeded all expectations, was a top performer with top quality results. And all year long, my manager told me, quote, I have no items for improvement. Just keep up the great work. Overall, it was a great review.
However, when discussing the merit increase that is supposed to be based on the performance review, he gave me a 0% increase. To say I was am disappointed in this is an understatement, especially when his reasoning is that he wants to give others on the team more in order to raise their salaries, as I currently make more than them, supposedly.
Truthfully, I don't believe anyone else's salary is my business, nor do I believe I should be penalized for something that has nothing to do with me. I had an incredible year and I feel I deserved a matching merit increase. It should be noted that this is our only opportunity per year to earn an increase. So two questions for you, Andy. If you were in my situation, what would you do?
And then as a business owner, what are your thoughts on this? And would you ever do this to your top performer? Thank you in advance for your insight. Entrepreneurs, man.
Well, look, I think that's a fair... I like the way that that question was asked because clearly this person understands there's two sides to the equation here and they're not being bitter about it. The way that that was presented was very professional and I appreciate that. So, where do we start here? First of all, if you really are the best performing person...
and they promised you a raise, and they didn't give you one, that's kind of fucked up. That's pretty fucked up. That's not indicative of... You have been gaslit. Maybe, maybe. That's what I'm saying. That's not indicative of normal behavior, in my opinion.
I am a big believer that if I ask someone to go do things and they do them and exceed those expectations and rewarding them for that performance, I think most effective businesses feel that way. But there could be a couple other things that are playing into this that you may not be aware of. From the business owner's side, profitability could be down.
Maybe there's not enough money to actually give the raise, and maybe he doesn't want to say that to you because he doesn't want you to fucking quit. Maybe he's telling you this excuse, which sounds absurd to me. So that you don't think that he's just stiffing you or she's just stiffing you. And I don't know why they would tell you that because that makes no sense.
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Chapter 6: How to leverage your value for a raise?
we're in a situation now where we really need to get these other guys to perform because i don't have the profitability or the margin to pay you this extra money uh you know how do you know that the owner's even getting paid we you know what i'm saying so there could be a lot of different things happening and i can tell you there's been times in my career where we didn't have enough money to get raises and there were people that deserved them and i couldn't afford to give them to them
and when those situations happened i'd have a frank frank discussion with them and i'd say look here's where i'm at bro and i would be very transparent and i would say what do you suggest that i do here and then that becomes a very productive conversation because usually if that person is really invested like it sounds like this person is they will get on board with with you the owner
to help the other people start to perform so that we can get in a position to give the raise. So that's what I would do. I would have a conversation. If it goes well, he's probably going to be transparent. There's probably going to be a better reason as to why they didn't give you that.
If it doesn't go well, he's probably going to feed you the same line of bullshit, and you're going to have to understand that this might be an indication that no matter how hard you work or how much you perform, you're going to be capped at your earning potential in that organization, which means you have to find a new organization. Okay.
So it's a tough position, but you know, most people, let me give you the, the real way to get paid more money while we're talking about it. Here, here's the real way. This is the only way that fucking works. Okay.
you have to be so fucking valuable that the company can't afford to let you walk okay that is it because you you have to be so valuable that you can literally leverage the company into giving you more money no one's going to give you more money no one's going to bless you with riches it's not going to fucking happen
We are one of the few companies that I think pays people more when we start to see it automatically without having them have to ask. Now, sometimes they do have to ask because we have a lot of employees and not everybody gets the proper recognition. But in most cases, Companies are not like that. They will force you to have a conversation to get the money.
And how many years you've been there doesn't fucking matter. How many days you showed up doesn't fucking matter. Participation doesn't fucking matter. None of these things that most people think matter actually matter. Here's the truth. If you perform to a level that is undeniable and it's undeniably valuable to the company,
You have the leverage because there's not many people out here that actually operate that way. So your goal should be to outperform expectations in such a way that you could now walk into this person's office and say, hey, listen, man, you know, you guys didn't pay me. And I was told that we were going to do this and I did everything I was supposed to do.
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Chapter 7: Why is simply doing your job not enough for a raise?
that if i went to that fucking company right now i bet that the ownership is not aggressively growing the company i bet they are in that fucking coast mode or they don't care enough to actually grow and get aggressive if you're with an aggressive company they will pay people who are top performers over and over and over again to continue to progress and perform
I have guys that started with me at $7 an hour that are now C-level executives doing very, very well. I have guys who own franchises do very, very well. Those promises that I made them are kept as long as they keep their promise, which is to continue to get better and better and better. And how do you get better as an entrepreneur? One, you do everything you can when you're there.
And two, and this is the one people hate, you do everything you can when you're not there.
oh i don't get paid for that no you're getting paid in the future for what you're doing now okay so what you're getting paid for now is what you did in the past so to get more you're going to have to do more outside of the requirements to improve your skill set to become better which that pay will cap too if you don't continue to get better so if i were you i would just follow what i said i would make a report of all the things you did
I would include all the books you read, all the things you did on the side to improve, any programs you went through, any courses or seminars you went to. I'd include the cost and the investment of all of these things that you're doing to get better with the metrics of how you got better. And I would say, pay me or I'm fucking leaving. That's what I would do.
But most people can't do that because they don't have the ability to go fucking say that. They can't back it up either. Right. So people love hearing this. They're like, yeah. Fuck yeah, I'm going tomorrow. But remember, if you go in there with garbage, you ain't getting anything. And so, dude, we have this situation in culture where people believe that just doing the job
And working hard and showing up, they get paid a premium for that. Bro, I don't know if you guys understand what's going on in the world, but most people are replaceable right now with a fucking AI bot that will do every single fucking thing that you do perfect. So if you intend on keeping your job, you're going to have to remove this idea of mediocrity from your brain and really step on the gas.
Otherwise, eventually, and remember I said this, you will end up on some sort of subsidized government income that the government pays you to stay the fuck home, and yeah, you get to run around through the fields every day, but you're gonna be broke, and you're gonna be eating fucking shit, okay? Because that's where the world's going.
The world is going to a place where mediocre performers will not be employed, and they will be replaced with technology.
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