She Tricked Her Boyfriend Into Murder - The Ermalinda Palomo story

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This is Nate. And Nate has a problem. The Mexican cartel is trying to unalive him and he doesn't know why. So here's how this all started. One day, Nate's at work. He works security for an engineering company. And he meets this woman, who we'll call Z. And Nate thinks Z is foink! And so they start flirting and soon they start hooking up outside of work and secretly meeting at hotels to smash.

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Here's the thing about Nate though. Bro already has a girlfriend. His girlfriend is this woman, Irma Linda. And Nate and Irma Linda have been together for years. And now here's the thing about Z. Z is also in a relationship. She's actually married with two kids.

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And I don't know exactly how Irma Linda finds out, but eventually she discovers that Nate's been cheating on her with this woman at work, Z. And she is pissed. But for some reason, she doesn't want to dump his cheating ass. I mean, I guess that would be way too easy and reasonable. Instead, Irma Linda comes up with one of the wildest plans I've ever heard of to get rid of Z for good.

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So first she gets online and she makes a bunch of fake social media profiles and she uses these fake profiles and secretly starts messaging Nate. And under these aliases, she tells him he's being targeted by the Mexican cartel and the Bulgarian cartel. And these cartels seem to know a lot about him. They know his name, a lot of his personal information, where he lives.

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And so Nate is like, what the f**k? He doesn't know how he got mixed into some real cartel shit, but after receiving tons of threats and messages from them, he starts to take all of this very seriously. And he's anxious as hell. And of course, he has no idea that it's really Irma Linda behind this whole thing.

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Now, despite the fact that he's anxious and believes the cartel is after him, he keeps low-key smashing with Z on the side. So Irma Linda's weird plan to scare him isn't actually working because he's still cheating. So after nearly a year of this, Irma Linda has to try something a little different.

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And so using one of her fake online aliases, she contacts Nate and she tells him not only are these cartels after him, but that Z is actually a spy working for the cartel and that Z plans to unalive him. Now, at this point, Irma Linda is contacting Nate using the fake name Turtle. So Irma Linda, as fake Turtle, tells Nate that the only way to keep Z from unaliving him is to unalive her first.

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And Nate hears this plan and he's like... Aye. And so Nate and his new online friend, Fake Turtle, they research the layout of Z's house. Because their plan is to break into her house, unalive her, and make it all look like a robbery gone wrong. Now here's where it gets a little confusing.

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After a couple of days of planning out this murder, I guess Nate goes to Irma Linda and he tells her everything. That he's somehow mixed up with the cartel and that they're after him and that he has to unalive this woman Z so that Z won't unalive him first.

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And Irma Linda's like, oh my god, WTF, knowing damn good and well she's secretly fake turtle and that she secretly fabricated this whole cartel story so that he would stop cheating on her. Regardless, Irma Linda tells him that she will help him carry out this murder. So around 3 a.m. that morning, Nate gets his pew-pew and he and Irma Linda get into the car and she drives him over to Z's house.

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So they get there and she waits there in the car while he sneaks up to the house and he enters through the unlocked back door. Now, I guess Nate must have made some noise while doing this because pretty quickly Z's husband wakes up. Because remember, Z's married with two kids. So husband wakes up and he comes out to see what's going on and suddenly, blam, blam, Nate unalives him right there.

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And I guess Z hears these shots go off and she panics and she locks herself and her kids inside the bedroom. Oh, but this doesn't stop Nate. He goes to the bedroom, raises his pew-pew, and blam, blam, blam, he fires right through the door more than a dozen times. And unfortunately, this unalives them all.