Monday Morning Podcast
New York, L.A. Airspace, Shakespeare | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 3-13-25
Thu, 13 Mar 2025
Bill rambles about New York, L.A. Airspace, and Shakespeare. (00:00) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast (31:51) - Thursday Afternoon Podcast 3-13-25 - Bill rambles about do-wop, heaven, and half-a-dude wrasslin. Thursday Afternoon Interlude: Roy Ayers - Liquid Love
Chapter 1: What is the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast?
hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in on you i'm just checking in on you seeing how it's going in your part of the world um oh billy press boy this morning look at you all grown up doing the town um
Chapter 2: What shows did Bill Burr appear on to promote his stand-up special?
I did Good Morning America today. They kept calling it GMA, which made me think of GMOs, which are genetically modified organisms. I don't know what it is. Something about what they put in the food. But they pay the politicians, so that's fine. That's all right. And I did The Breakfast Club. I had a great time. And I did one other show. I'm spacing here. I had a great time.
This morning, promoting all that stuff. Why? Why you didn't ask? As I go to whore myself out and whatnot. My stand-up special, Drop Dead Years, is coming out, I think, tomorrow. On Hulu. I'm very excited. And I hope you guys enjoy it or whatever. But I had a fucking great morning. Had a good time on Good Morning America.
That's a really like fun show to do as far as like the vibe, the vibe that you have to have to do one of those morning shows. It's like the level of like, I don't know, like you have to be like upbeat and positive. It's like people are starting their day. You know what I mean? You can't do the CNN Fox News thing. We don't do that here. I mean, it was fucking fantastic.
There was a chef there making food. There was puppies. I was playing with puppies. It's like impossible to be in a bad mood doing one of those fucking shows. I got to do a quick little thing there with everyone on the show promoting Glenn Gary and the special. So I had a great time. And then the Breakfast Club. That's my second time doing it. I love those guys. I had a great time with them.
$75.
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Chapter 3: What is Bill Burr's experience with theater previews?
And after we're done paying for renting the theater, all the money goes to Patrice's... Wonderful mother. And we make sure we take care of her every year because Patrice was taking care of her. So it's a great, great, great thing that you can do if you can come out. All right. And with that, let's blow ahead here. All right. So guess what? We are officially in previews.
previews now what i've learned is previews are not official shows yet this is used just sort of working the show out now in front of a crowd and um i gotta be i'm a little confused by it because people are paying a lot of money to still come see it so it's like i don't it doesn't feel like it's okay to just be you know you can try out stuff but you gotta bring it and um
I cannot tell you, like, how awesome it is to, you know, get to do this and to watch all of these actors that I've been working with, you know, seeing them. They tried stuff when we were rehearsing it and then watching them try it out and adjusting it and everything like that. I get so fucking amped up.
And then I'm also fascinated, like, watching, like, oh, man, you know, so-and-so got a laugh on that. What did they figure out? Was it the crowd? Was it the way the other actors set up the line or whatever? It's sort of like infinite, like, the options, but...
We're three of those performances in, and I think last night was our best show, and everybody keeps getting better, and people were getting applause breaks, and it's really settling into this cool thing where it's dark, but it's also funny. It's sad, and then it's hilarious, and it's just this unbelievable ride, And, oh my God, Michael McKeon last night was fucking on fire.
It's going to be such a good time. And I was already thinking backstage when I was waiting for the play to end and then come out and do the curtain call. I was already thinking of how sad I'm going to be on the last night because this is going to be... This is just one of those things that totally lives up to the hype. So thank you to everybody that's come out so far.
And I am looking forward to everything else. Also, I definitely get the fucking butterflies before I go out there. Because I'll tell you, what's funny is you go out, you have a good show and everything's awesome. And the night ends and you feel like this amazing feeling of accomplishment. And then you wake up the next day and you're like, oh, fuck, I got to do it again.
Oh, this is what they're talking about. When I was talking to other actors going, you know, you got to like, you know, it's a grind, you know, so you got to like blah, blah, blah. But I'm just going to. I don't know. Just go one show at a time and listen to whoever the hell I'm talking to and. on stage and see if we can have another good one tonight. That's it. All right.
And with that, with that, with that, it's such an exciting time of year. Baseball's coming back. Hockey and basketball is getting close to the playoffs. You got MotoGP. You got fucking the F1. And you got match madness coming up. You have all kinds of distractions. Distractions. To not freak you out. You know what I mean? To have some sort of normalcy. I'll tell you what's freaking me out.
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Chapter 4: Why does Bill Burr find New York fun again?
When my character exits the play, there's still a decent amount of time left in the second act. So I was actually downstairs playing the drums, waiting for the... There's a point where they're in the play that I can walk upstairs and be there on time for the curtain call. I don't know. The whole thing is... It was pretty exciting. So, anyway. Plowing ahead here. Old Billy fucking gym bud.
Old fucking Billy gym bud is going to the gym again today. I've been crushing it. And the little apartment they got me staying in. Dude, fucking New York is fun again. It's fun again. It's definitely, you know, there was like a... A period there where it got so fucking nice, it was like weird. You felt like you were in The Truman Show or something. But the free entertainment is back. In a big way.
In a big way. I'll tell you one thing that's cool. There's like this fucking liquor store. And I don't know what it is. It's like this gathering place for these guys that like... I don't know if they're the guys that ride bicycles or whatever, delivery or something. But they're just fucking hanging out.
And they're smoking cigarettes and they're getting into sports arguments and they're drinking and shit. And they're kind of blocking the street when you go to walk down. And that's like the neighborhood shit that kind of went away for a while. Like one of the worst things I think that happened probably... for like neighborhoods is air conditioning.
Like back in the day, like air conditionings at nighttime, everybody came out and they, you know, left their windows open and they sat out on the stoops. I mean, obviously this is way before my time, but I can't imagine like the conversations, you know, people, whatever, smoking cigars, cigarettes, playing cards, shooting the shit, debates and all of that stuff.
So it's kind of as much as they're getting fucked up you know, drinking and stuff, it is good to see people like, I don't know, not just like not staring at their phones. I think that that's what it is. Like these guys are hanging out being their own entertainment. Um, so anyway, uh, I decided that I was going to do something. Um, I wanted to do a bunch of shit that I've, I'd never done before.
Um, I always wanted to do in New York, you know, but I was always too busy trying to get somewhere being a comedian. So one of the things I wanted to do was to go up to, you know, Columbia University because I'm like, you know, that's a fucking Ivy League school like right here in Manhattan. It's right in Harlem. Like, that's fascinating. I want to go see what that looks like.
And my dumb ass, I didn't know it. You know, I don't watch the news, so I didn't. know what was going on. I guess it was a bunch of protests up there and stuff. And evidently they got whoever started the protest. They're trying to deport him, which is not a good sign of a democracy. Like, why aren't you allowed? You're right. You should be allowed to protest.
You know, it doesn't line up with our foreign policy. You need to get the fuck out of here. That's not a good sign for democracy. A good sign for democracy is somebody has a protest. You're like, well, I don't agree with that, but I agree with your right to do that. That's it. Not like you say what I don't like. Get this guy, arrest him and get him the fuck out of here.
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Chapter 5: How does Bill Burr feel about raising a child?
Denzel Washington. And Jake Gyllenhaal are doing a play and it's just like, I mean, it's fucking Denzel. I got to go watch this guy act like live. Like how amazing would that be? But I am too fucking stupid to understand Shakespeare. I just don't understand what's happening. I know it's English, but it's like retired English. So it's like there's no fucking way I'm not going to go to that show.
So what I'm going to do is I'm going to get the book, like the cliff notes, like just like back in the day when I was in high school. So I can read the fucking play and try to understand what is happening first. So when I go there, I can enjoy it.
everybody's performances rather than you know when you're too dumb to get something and you just sort of sit there quietly and you look in the same direction as all the other humans but like you don't move your head but your eyes are kind of like looking out the side of your head like am i the only guy who uh is a little confused by all of this so um i don't know i think it's time i put my big boy pants on and try to understand
So I don't know. Or maybe I should just understand my limitations because like I think Denzel and Jake are so good that even if I don't quite understand what's going on, just watching what they're doing alone is going to be enough. I don't know. We shall see. So anyway, so getting back to that other shit. So I went up to Columbia, did not walk the campus, but something good came out of it.
I walked down the street and there was this Hungarian pastry place with a line down the block. It's been there for I don't know how many years. Looks mom and pop run or whatever. So I'm going to take my lovely wife there because I don't eat sweets anymore. Try not to anyways, because... Because that's how I got my fucking dad bod or whatever. So today I'm going to the gym. Ego day, baby. Ego day.
Upper body. Upper body. Here's the thing. If you can somehow get into lower body the way you are upper body, I've been trying to do that. Right? Because I came up in the 80s. I'm institutionalized. All it is about how much you fucking benching. Dude, he curls with fucking 180 pounds. Every time I was at a gym and I saw this guy curling 225 pounds, he had fucking 245s on both sides.
Didn't have them locked either. So they were sort of rattling when he did it. And everybody just out of the side. It was one of the most amazing feats of strength I've ever seen. He did, I think, like four or five reps of it. and he was curling it, and I remember every time when he would bring it up, he'd go, he'd go, hap, hap, hap, and it was fucking, and my goal was to bench 225.
old Skinny Billy Skinny Billy back in the day was my goal was to bench what this guy was fucking curling with and I did bench it I did it one fucking time but the problem is the one person who saw me do it has passed away the late great Wayne Previty we used to go to this place the Bulldog Gym on Hollywood Boulevard and I think it's like a nightclub now and we used to work out there and uh
I remember we were there when that dude was curling 225. I remember looking at Wayne and he looked at me like, dude, what the fuck? It was insane. It was just one of these guys that like, I mean, he was putting the work in and everything, but he was just like, he was just built like the Hulk and it was all natural. He just, one of these guys that was just a fucking walking refrigerator. Um, Yeah.
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Chapter 6: What movie did Bill Burr highly recommend?
What's going on? Mandy, what's going on with you? You're scaring me.
You know, that's the type of shit you can do when you're abroad. But if you're a guy, you can't do that. You can't be like, Mike, what's going on with me? What's going on with me? What's going on with you? You're scaring me. You know, as you're taken by both his hands. All right. I got an hour here to do. And I got to be honest with you.
I don't have shit to say because my life has become very compartmentalized. Being a dad here. Daddy, oh, oh. she's asleep downstairs, man. She's fucking awesome. Anybody who says that being a parent is hard is a fucking pussy. You know, I'm not saying that it's not tedious. I'm not saying, saying it's not like walking around with a little fucking kettlebell all day long.
You know, especially if you fucked up one of your rotator cuffs, I got to keep her in close on the right hand side. You know, keep her in tight. Tiki barber. Don't fumble. Um, But we just sit around. We listen to a lot of music with her. I was listening to fucking. What was I listening to yesterday? Just like they called Malt Shop Oldies. It's basically like doo-wop from the 1950s.
And I kind of settled on that channel. And after a while, I wanted to turn the channel, but I couldn't because she was sleeping. And the remote was across the table. Once they fall asleep, dude, it's just like. You know, I don't care what position you're in, you're not moving because they're fucking sleeping, right? So I just sat there and listened on a loop to all this.
Slowly going out of my fucking mind. Doo-wop's great for about four songs in a row, and then it just becomes the same song over and over and fucking over again. I was listening to that shit for like a fucking, like an hour. And like half of those songs have been in Scorsese movies. You know, it's always like some guy's name and then the name of a card.
You know, so and so in the Fleetwoods, something, something in the Belmonts. Deal in the Belmonts. You got to love them. They're still fucking great. You know, The Wanderer. That fucking song is so applicable to anybody who didn't get married. You're in your 40s. Well, I'm the type of guy who will never settle down. It makes you feel great about the choice you made.
Until, you know, you realize he sang it in his 20s. You're like, oh, fuck. What was another one? You talk too much.
You talk too much.
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Chapter 7: How does Bill Burr view modern car technology?
I basically don't want my kid to be like me. that's why I got to keep up with this meditating. Cause I didn't do it for a minute. And the, Oh, the old gray mare, she ate. I started fucking going back to what the fuck I was, you know, like I fucking, uh, I was trying to, you know, sneak out of the bedroom cause I was going to go work out cause I'm a fucking fat cupcake eating douche. And, um,
Nia just opens her eyes and just goes, could you change it really quick? I just stopped and I looked at her and I said, you really need to work on your good mornings. She's like, sorry, good morning. And even though I was right, my tone was just, it was way too, you know, I was like that, uh, I always say Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson. I don't know, whatever. I took it too far, which kills me.
That's why I love meditating, because I don't take it too far. And if I make a point, I'm still right. But when I don't meditate, you know, I basically I walk around at a six. You know, like saying 10 is completely losing your shit. I walk around. I'm just walking down the street with a fucking balloon on my wrist at a six to a seven. So it's very easy for me to go right to 10 unless I meditate.
Then that backs me down to about four or three, which still is pretty high, but it's kind of cut my number almost in half. But what kills me is when I'm not meditating and I'm up around a six or a seven, you know, it gets that point. Even if I'm right, my reaction gives them this this wiggle room. You know, some Bill Clinton wiggle room to get the fuck out of it.
You know, some Trump executive order thing to go around some shit. So, you know, so I got to I got to I got to stay on that type of shit. Dude, speaking of fucking. Liam Leeson. Liam Leeson. Why can't you know, it's one of those fucking goes by so fucking quick. You never really even hear it. No, Bill, we all hear it. You don't. I mean, look, I'm going to get this guy's fucking name right.
He's great actor here with Liam Leeson. Oh, no, it's Liam Neeson. His first name's not Liam. Yes, it is. Liam Neeson. Ah, whatever. I'll never get that right. I'm never going to get that fucking right. Anyways, look at the fucking head of hair on that son of a bitch. Anyways, I saw a fucking great movie this week.
So Saturday night, Saturday, Saturday, we go out.
And we actually have a date night. So we're like, all right, we'll get maybe like dinner and a movie. We'll basically turn about appetizer and a drink. And I'm sitting there like, you know, I'm on the wagon. I can't do it. He is like, oh, just fucking have one. So I was like, all right, I'll have one, you know, still on the wagon.
You know, I'm not like a fucking alcoholic where I just got to shut the whole thing off. You know what I mean? So I had one. I had a cognac, a fucking cognac. And I just said, you know, I just ordered the best one that they had. So it tasted amazing, but it was also like drinking gasoline. So I could only sip it. And we got like an appetizer.
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Chapter 8: What are Bill Burr's thoughts on the Celtics' performance?
We went to the movie theater and we saw Get Out.
The Jordan Peele film... Dude... It was fucking... That was amazing... You gotta go see it... I know there's... You know... There's always that movie... Everybody's like... Dude... You gotta go fucking see it... And it doesn't live up to the hype... It lived up to the hype man... It was fucking great... And what I loved... What I loved about it... And what I love about all fucking movies like this... Is there was a bunch of shit in there... That you had... He left you to figure out yourself... And... I saw the movie like two, three days...
ago, Saturday night, was it Monday, two days ago, you know, and I keep, even though I'm driving, I'm still thinking about the movie, I was like, oh fuck, that was this, and this meant that, and this is over here, and this person's that, like, you know, it was the perfect length, the whole thing, and the acting in it was unbelievable, dude, that fucking guy, I swear to God, man, that's like one of the most talented people to come around in a long, long time,
you know, to be that good at like, you know, the characters that he did on his sketch show and the writing. And then on top of that, you can direct, I mean, he's kind of fucking limitless as far as his talent goes. But if you haven't seen it yet before somebody ruins it, you got to go check it out. All right. There's my, I never do a movie plug. So there you go. There's one for you.
Um, so we ended up going to that thing and, uh, I don't know what the fuck we did after that. I think we just came straight home. Oh, I know. Walked up to my car and for some reason the fucking lights were on. Because cars are so goddamn confusing. Like wherever the fuck my lights used to be was the automatic. You just turn the car on and they fucking come on at night.
Like somehow the lights sense night. Fucking creepy as that. And I did the manual one. And now that it's on the manual one, I can't figure out where the fuck to put it. So now I always have to do it. And now I'm like, you know,
But you know what kills me with today's technology is I left those things on, went and had a drink and an appetizer, and then saw like a fucking whatever that movie is, 90 minutes, hour and 45 minute movie, and I came back, my car still started up. Back in the day, you were fucked. Everybody had jumper cables. Dude, can you give me a jump? Do you mind if I hate to bother you?
Can you give me a jump? And it was always like the shittiest fucking car ever, and you're like, oh, man. Nah, man, I can't. I can't. Now you can just say, no, I can't. Why not? It's like, well, with today's technology, it's pointless for me to ever look under my hood. I just take it down to the dealer and they deal with everything. I don't even know where the battery is.
I can guarantee you when I when I fucking lift up the hood, I probably have to remove something to get to one of the terminals. So I don't know why you're not a member of AAA, but I don't want to tell you. And I leave and I get in my car and I drive away from a fellow American. You understand me? Dude, what's going on with the fucking Celtics? They've lost six of their last 11 games.
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