Monday Morning Podcast
Glengarry Previews, NBA Horror Show, Neighbor Issues | Monday Morning Podcast 3-10-25
Mon, 10 Mar 2025
Bill rambles about Glengarry previews, the NBA horror show, and neighbor issues. Hims: Go to www.Hims.com/BURR for your personalized ED treatment options. SimpliSafe: Visit www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and get your first month free.
Chapter 1: How did the Glengarry Previews go?
Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast. For Monday, March 10th, 2025. What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? March 10th. Holy shit. Holy shit. Previews start tonight for Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. Saturday night, we did our first show in front of like about 900 people. And, uh, I don't know. It could not have gone better.
I was so amazed watching all my castmates, like, thinking about where they were, you know, six weeks ago versus this amazing stuff that it became. I'm not saying it wasn't good from the beginning, but, you know, you know what I'm saying. and just hearing where all the laughs were and everything, and everybody was very happy.
Crowd was very happy, cast was happy, people producing it were very happy, directors and everything. So we're off, we're off. So next week we just have rehearsals and then we have premieres at night. And then I think next week we just get into the regular schedule where I just have premieres at night. So I don't know what the hell I'm gonna do with myself.
With all that free time back, I'll just sit around here being fucking lonely. I am FaceTiming the hell out of my family, but Jesus Christ. The other night I was just sitting here. We rehearsed all day and then we ran the thing. And I came back to my little corporate apartment here and I was fucking just like, what am I going to do? Fucking lonely here.
So... Just ended up, like... I... It's funny. I don't want to get involved in the politics of the New York comedy scene, but, like, I was trying to find... A comedy show to go do where there was a comedian that I knew, you know, because I haven't lived here in almost 20 years. Right.
So I start checking out all of these different comedy clubs around town and I'm looking them up and I'm trying to go to their Web site and I keep ending up on the Web site of the New York Comedy Club. And they're doing that douchey thing where like, you know, I was looking for Gotham Comedy Club.
And then like they have in New York Comedy Club has in their search, you know, Gotham's number one comedy club. So you end up on their on their on their Web site.
fucking dirty pool man so i ended up going down to uh it was weird i felt like remembering the blair witch where they just kept coming back to the same part in the woods that's what it's like searching a comedy show in new york city no matter what comedy club you look up you end up at the new york comedy club's fucking website um anyway um so i ended up going down to the uh gotham comedy club
And they have their main room upstairs and they have the one downstairs. So I ended up doing a spot there and hanging out with Chris Mazzilli, who I've known, Jesus Christ, I've known him since I came to New York. So we had a great time catching up. And so I figured that's what I'm going to end up doing. You know, what's funny is the Chelsea Hotel is right next to the Gotham Comedy Club.
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Chapter 2: What are Bill's thoughts on the New York comedy scene?
Hey, Billy, the fabulous elderly workout influencer. Well, when you're an elderly workout influencer, the great thing is you get to show people your results with your shirt on. let's see. I just wanted to let you know, in a recent podcast, you were talking about the measuring tape you recently purchased was showing higher than normal numbers for your measurements.
Once upon a time, I worked at a men's suit store and typically the waist size of your jeans ranged anywhere from two to four inches lower than your actual waist size. That tape or slacks for a suit would show. Um, For instance, if you were 34 waist and jean, your waist for slacks would be 36, 38. Because jeans stretch and slacks typically do not.
Hope this helps in your judgment of yourself and your shirtless yoga. P.S. Go f-f-f-fuck yourself. Um... Yeah, I mean, listen, the tape doesn't lie. The jeans do. It's so stupid. I feel like the jeans...
are in business with the people that poisoned our food supply and then big pharmaceutical that's the triangle of death all right you buy a pair of 34 inch jeans and you can wear them until you're a 39 inch waist and then you're like oh well i went up to 35 36 inch jeans i need to lose two inches and it's like no you need to lose like seven That's where I ended up, you know?
But you don't notice because your genes have an elastic band on them now. So they just keep stretching, stretching, stretching, right? And then meanwhile, you're filling your fucking gut up with this fucking poison. And then now what? Now you need big pharmaceutical. There you go. And then you go into the hospital and then they don't cure you. They keep you alive. And then you die.
And you weren't able to work because you were so fucking sick and you accrued a bunch of debt and the credit card companies aren't going to eat that. They pass that on to your loved ones. So what's the moral of the story? Start wearing slacks. All right. Neighbor wants to store. You know what the fucking the slacks are? version of the elastic waist is suspenders.
I don't think I've ever seen somebody in shape wear suspenders. It's always been a fat fuck. I remember there was a moment where they were like in style. It was really bad, at least in New England it was. And these guys would come to work with green suspenders that had blue whales on them like they were fucking five-year-olds. It was a really weird time.
That preppy look with the boat shoes and the effeminate, like, polo colors. It was really weird. Fucking sweaters, horn-rimmed glasses. All right. Arguably, when it came to, like, bosses that era, bosses had the most punchable faces ever. you know, in the history of bosses, I would say.
in the 80s if you had a boss that was into the preppy look and he's wearing those yellows pinks those pastel colors and the dumb fucking sweater and his horned rim fucking glasses and his boat shoes with khaki pants and you had to go to work and whatever that guy told you to do you had to do there was just no way as a man that you didn't think like i mean it's a cubicle it's stupid like
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