For decades Tammy Franklin has been the backbone of one of music's most prolific artists and global creative forces, Kirk Franklin. In retrospect, Tammy is a force all her own. In this episode, Crystal Renee Hayslett and Tammy Franklin talk marriage, motherhood and the importance of therapy.
Chapter 1: What is the main theme of the episode?
Coming up on Keep It Positive, Sweetie.
There's a group called Next. I used to choreograph for them.
You are kidding me. Now, did you do Too Close?
I didn't do that, but I was in the studio when that was actually recorded. Are you kidding me? I am not kidding you. I love Next. I grew up to Next.
I was like in junior high, high school.
So we all lived in Minnesota at the time. So our manager was the same manager at the time as Nick Condition.
Wow.
And so...
You got a story to tell.
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Chapter 2: What insights does Tammy Franklin share about motherhood?
How do you pronounce your son's name?
Keziah. Keziah. Yes.
Okay. I knew it. What was it about him that you were like, I know this one's going to marry me?
Very mature. Very relational driven. He was the one, even when dating, that I would have to remind, hey, we're not at forever yet.
Oh, he's like me. Yes. I'm the one that's going to be like, so I'm like already writing like to see how our last name goes. His last name goes in my name. I'm like, ooh.
I think Keziah being a creative, he was able to kind of tap into that. Because typically, you're right, it's the girl. Because, baby, we have our weddings planned out. Well, we done met them in junior high. We got the names and all this. Right. But it was just something about him and then his faith compass. Mm-hmm. was very, very strong.
The way he regarded, I would say girls, because he was young, and then later women. He was always intentional. Dating with a purpose. Love that. That was his mindset. And so I remember telling my husband, probably... I want to say as early as junior high. You knew it. I said, oh, he's going to marry early. I see him doing maybe, because he has my husband's gift times 10.
Yes, he's instrumentally inclined. I saw it, musically inclined. Amazing. But he's also a speaker. He's a writer. Wow. And so he's left and right brain. He was an athlete. That's incredible. Yeah.
Yeah, a unicorn. A unicorn.
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Chapter 3: How did Tammy and Kirk Franklin navigate parenting?
to foster and usher them into adulthood. And so I always planned for it. But I know at 25, who thinks like that? Short of the Holy Spirit. I know for a fact God was downloading that into me. And so I'm still their mother. I'm more of a friend now.
I love it. I ain't one of your little friends. That's what my mom used to say.
Yeah, I used to say that. But now I'll be like, okay, we friends now. We friends now. And it's so funny because they're like, oh my gosh, now that we're in the friend zone of our mother-daughter or mother-son relationship, they're like, you telling us everything. You just... We didn't know this. This is new. Because it's like, well, welcome to adulthood. Now you know that that cousin was crazy.
And now they're saying things. But I've always wanted my kids to feel so comfortable. And I want it to be approachable. Even when they would tell me things that I was clutching my pearls on the inside. But on the outside, they're going to see. I got you.
I love that.
Ain't nothing you can't tell me.
That is beautiful.
I love that. They're my little homies. They're my friends.
I see it.
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Chapter 4: What advice does Tammy give about relationships?
Yeah.
And so, you know, for me, it was a way to take care of my daughter. I've always, you know, it's funny how God prepares you for what you're going to do.
Yeah.
And you have no idea.
What it is, like what are you preparing for?
Yes. And so even within the group, I was the one that did the choreography. I was the one that did like our outfits. There's a group called Next. Yeah. I used to choreograph for them.
You are kidding me. Now, did you do Too Close?
I didn't do that, but I was in the studio when that was actually recorded.
Are you kidding me?
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Chapter 5: How does Tammy view her role as a mother-in-law?
Be the list for yourself.
Yes.
Yeah. As opposed to expecting someone else to fulfill all of that.
Yeah. The immature Crystal was definitely looking for someone else to fulfill all those things.
You deserve it.
Yeah.
You deserve the healed side of you. Yeah. Yes. And a mate.
Yeah. And a lot of times, I don't think I even realized that I wasn't healed and how much trauma I was holding on to until I got into therapy. I was like, what? Listen, it opens your eyes.
I'm going to need people to understand it is therapy in Jesus. Can you say that again? It is therapy in Jesus. Thank you. It is both and.
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Chapter 6: What experiences shaped Tammy's view on marriage?
There's flawed people in the Bible.
Hello.
All people. Why do we require perfectionism? That is man-made, it's not God. And that's why I really try to encourage people that walk away from God. I'm like, people hurt you. People hurt you.
They do. God didn't. What have you done to stay strong when you see the comments? Because I know for me, when I see comments, I'll be ready to clap back. And you know, like what, how do you keep it together?
I leave the clap back to Kennedy.
I know that's right.
Kennedy ready for the smoke, but she is so her daddy. She ready for the smoke, warm for smoke. Yeah. 4'10". I call her my little chihuahua. She ready. I am more contemplative.
Really?
I am. But when they come to my kids.
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Chapter 7: How does Tammy balance her career and family life?
I love that.
And not be served. I think it's important in life to intentionally, especially if you are in a place of always being served.
Yeah.
It's so important to be in a place where you're being a service to someone else. That you can't get anything back. You may not get a thank you. You won't get paid for it. Yeah. They're not going to park your car. You know what I mean? That's important.
I'm also, now that I have more time on my hands and empty nested and going through my own therapy journey, I'm recognizing as a child, there were times, a lot of times, that I experienced great trauma and I should have had counseling.
Wow. Yeah.
And, but back then it just wasn't.
It wasn't a thing.
It wasn't a thing. And so I am, we shared on the episode I did on Oprah's Behind the Man. I love that my mother's story was able to be shared and my mother's story is one of domestic abuse. I was that kid who was in the room of a domestic abuse. And so the organizations that I am partnering with now I'm loving because it is helping the woman, but also the child.
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Chapter 8: What are Tammy's thoughts on self-identity and personal growth?
Yeah.
Like, you know, you're comfortable with it. I've done a little television. I've done a little radio. Yeah. I'm not like craving for it.
That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Because some people like. I want it still.
It's kind of scary. There's this one project that hasn't been greenlit yet, but I love it because it infuses all. That's me.
I love it.
And it's got some fitness in it. It's got some faith in it.
Yes, I'm excited for that. Fingers crossed. Yes, that's going to happen.
I can see it. And I get to encourage people.
I love it.
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