How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Women Love Nice, Nerdy Guys like YOU—If You Do 1 Important Thing (with Dating Coach Nick Notas)
Thu, 03 Apr 2025
Are you a nice, nerdy guy? You might think this holds you back with women—but what if it’s actually a big advantage? Renowned dating coach Nick Notas joins host Connell Barrett (both proud nerds!) to reveal why many women are into thoughtful, even geeky men. Nick also shares how to make your authentic, nerdy self irresistibly attractive.Highlights of this Episode Include:02:45: The Day Nick Realized that the “Pickup Artist” World Was Toxic06:40: The “Aha!” Approach Moment that Changed His Dating Life08:12: Why Many Women Love Dating Nerds18:23: What to Talk About on Dates to Get Her Hanging on Your Every Word20:56: The Easy Way to Approach Women30:19: The Truth About What You’re Doing Wrong on the Apps33:41: How A Shorter Man Can Attract an Incredible Girlfriend49:59: The One Old-School Pickup Move that Nick Still Endorses58:16: How Nick’s In-Person Coaching Retreats Can Help Your Love LifeListen now and attract the right woman for you by being authentic!TO LEARN ABOUT NICK’S IN-PERSON DATING-ADVICE RETREATS:http://www.nicknotas.comWATCH NICK’S DATING VIDEOS BY SEARCHING “NICK NOTAS” ON YOUTUBE.TO BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 DATINGCOACHING:http://www.datingtransformation.com
Chapter 1: Why do women love nerdy guys?
I was just Nerdy Nick and some beautiful woman was like, hey, I want to talk to you.
Right. Wow. It's amazing how many women like nerds.
Absolutely. Especially nowadays for anybody listening. I feel like it's cooler and cooler to be nerdy, to be a little weird or quirky and lean into it.
Hey, welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you flirt with confidence, get more dates, and get a great girlfriend, all by being authentic, really genuine, really real.
And our guest today is the perfect person to talk about authenticity and being real, and basically dating with integrity, because that is, in my view, a lot of what Nick Notice is about. Today, Nick Notice is here. Nick is a world-class dating coach and He's got over 15 years of experience helping guys like you build up your self-esteem, get good at flirting, get dates.
And he's got a huge audience out there. His advice reaches over 300,000 people a month. And he's worked with pretty much everyone out there from... successful professionals to engineers to, well, nerds like me. And Nick has also been featured in outlets like Time, CBS, and Men's Fitness. He's the real deal.
I rarely have men on this show talking about dating, but Nick is a true shining light in this world of dating advice for men. And we're going to talk about helping you get a great girlfriend. Nick, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks so much for having me. And fellow nerd here, so I'm on board. Let's get nerdy. And you can go to nicknotas.com. That's N-I-C-K-N-O-T-A-S dot com to learn all about Nick.
And speaking of your homepage, speaking of your website, I was just reading it before we hopped on. And you tell a pretty compelling story. about how back in the mid-00s, you sort of hit a low point in your life. You were going through some things both personally and with your career, and it essentially began you on this sort of journey into now becoming a dating expert who helps guys date.
Can you talk a little bit about that moment of struggle you had and how you bounced out of it?
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Chapter 2: How did Nick Notas become a dating coach?
And to be honest, I was getting to the point where I love tech, and I'm a nerd, and I've been on a computer since I was like four years old. I hated programming. It just wasn't for me. And I like people.
You struggle with dating, right? Sure, you have a good job and cool friends, but you just aren't sure how to flirt, the apps don't work for you, and sometimes women put you in the friend zone. It's frustrating. Hey, I struggled with dating too. As an introvert and a total nerd, I didn't just live in the friend zone, I owned real estate there.
But I escaped, using the dating philosophy of radical authenticity, which I've used to help thousands of men in 17 countries find love. It's what I wrote about in my bestselling book, Dating Sucks But You Don't. And radical authenticity is why psychology today called me the best dating coach in America. And now I want to personally help you attract your dream girlfriend.
So go to datingtransformation.com and book a free call with me. On our call, I'll tell you how my one-on-one coaching will help you find your dream girlfriend, and you'll be doing it by flirting with confidence and authenticity. No creepy pickup tricks needed. So go to datingtransformation.com, book a free call today, and let my personalized coaching help you get a great girlfriend.
Tell us, tell me about a moment when you saw a man, a young man, maybe not a young man. You saw a man who you saw yourself in. You saw a really great win. You saw him do something he didn't know he was capable of. Tell us the story. Any early wins with some of the men you coached?
Yeah, I mean... One that just immediately comes to mind, it's a little bit early to mid in my career, but I would say the first retreat I ever held where I'm like, I have no idea if I can do this, if I can take people around the world and really, you know, there's always that voice in your head like, okay, you've been coaching locally and done some one-on-ones.
Are you really this person who can make a transformation in people's lives? And just winged it, hosted a retreat in Mallorca, and Guy came out of a divorce, had been reeling for a long time and the very first retreat ends up meeting a woman that he ends up getting married to and has a kid with now. And like I know it's cliche.
There could be some earlier wins but there was nothing more powerful than that of like you host something. You make a difference. Somebody's entire life has changed because of it and it just further reinforced like I want to keep doubling down. Because even at that time, I was doubting, like, okay, I've been doing this for a while. Is this, you know, where else do I take this?
You know, and so, yeah, now it's also led to the power of what I believe to be in-person work.
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Chapter 3: What is the problem with the pickup artist world?
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And, yeah, so don't break your legs, guys, please. Please don't.
And a good experiment for guys in big cities like New York, go spend two hours with headphones, walk around, and see how many women you find incredibly beautiful to be with guys that are shorter or that have the insecurities that you doubt about yourself. And you'll be like, oh, wow, it's everywhere.
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