How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
The 7 ‘Friend Zone’ Destroyers: Go from Hearing ‘Let’s Be Friends’ to ‘Let’s Go to Your Place!’
Tue, 11 Mar 2025
You think a date went well, only to get that frustrating text: “You’re a nice guy, but I just didn’t feel a connection...” The Friend Zone can be brutal. Dating coach Connell Barrett knows this from experience. “I didn’t just live in the Friend Zone,” he says. “I owned real estate there.” But he also knows the way out. Now he’s sharing the 7 Friend Zone Destroyers simple, tested moves that you can make to spark attraction on your next date!You’re about to learn:8:24: Friend Zone Destroyer #1: Send Her Flirty Messages Before the Date10:34: Friend Zone Destroyer #2: Share an Authentic Personal Story14:27: Friend Zone Destroyer #3: How to Give Her a Sexy Compliment16:53: Friend Zone Destroyer #4: Find Emotional Commonalities18:31: Friend Zone Destroyer #5: Touch Her the Right Way (NOT the Weird Way!)21:41: Friend Zone Destroyer #6: How to Help Her Feel Connected to You24:05: Friend Zone Destroyer #7: Three Smooth First-Kiss Moves28:52: Bonus: Connell’s Favorite First-Date Game that Women LOVE to PlayStop hearing “Let’s just be friends” and start hearing “Let’s go out again!” Listen now.TO TAKE YOUR DATING RESULTS TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL, BOOK A FREE CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN ABOUT 1-1 COACHING:http://www.DatingTransformation.comEMAIL CONNELL FOR A FREE COPY OF HIS NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”:[email protected]
Chapter 1: How can I avoid the Friend Zone in dating?
Bro, I feel your pain. I did not just live in the friend zone. I owned real estate there. I was a friend zone real estate magnate. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I'm your host, dating coach, Conal Barrett. I'm here to help you flirt with confidence and make sparks fly on dates with women so that you can get an incredible girlfriend from some really nice options.
And do this with authenticity. No sketchy, weird, toxic BS. No pickup artist, scripted, manipulative games. Just... the amazing, attractive qualities of you being authentic, being real. Because guess what? Women like you for you. They really will like you for you once they meet the real, most authentic you. And today's episode is gonna be really powerful and fun.
I love talking about first dates and how to smash out of the friend zone. Oh man, the friend zone sucks. I remember a first date I had many, many moons ago with a girl named Courtney. And I had a first date. The conversations seemed to flow well. We seemed to like each other, at least as people.
And I'm thinking, oh, maybe, maybe this super cute, cool brunette with the cool tattoos, maybe she's the one. And by the time I get back to my apartment, I have that text buzzing on my phone, and it was her saying, hey, I just didn't feel a connection, but it was so nice meeting you. Let's be friends. I was so disappointed and frustrated.
I remember there was a stapler on my desk and I took the stapler and just threw it across the room in frustration. I wasn't mad at her. I was just frustrated and I felt like, why? Why don't women like me? Why don't they want to have second and third dates with me? So if you struggle with this too, bro, I feel your pain. I did not just live in the friend zone. I owned real estate there.
I was a friend zone real estate magnate and I learned how to get out. And today I want to share with you seven of the most powerful moves that I used to get out of the friend zone and that I teach my clients right now to get out of the quote unquote friend zone so that women start to see you as boyfriend material, not friend material.
In fact, I remember another date I had with a different woman who actually looked a little bit like Courtney. And this was maybe a year or so later when I'd really been taking a lot of action and working hard on improving my dating life. I had a first date with a woman named Olivia, a different cute brunette. Clearly I have a type, or I did back then. And I remember I was on...
It was either our first or second date. I think it might have been the second date. And the first date went well and the second date was going even better. And I was flirting and I was leading the dance and I was playing fun little conversational games with her. And I remember she said to me something no woman had ever said to me. She said, why don't we go back to your place?
Why don't we go back to your place? She actually asked me. to go back to my place. And being a gentleman, I agreed because it's not nice to turn down a lady's request. So I want to help you go from literally let's be friends to let's go to your place. or let's go out again, or let's just keep seeing each other. So that's what today's episode's about. You're going to get seven first date moves.
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Chapter 2: Why is authenticity important in dating?
Once you get emotionally naked, that's gonna help the two of you eventually get literally naked down the road. So get good at telling stories from your personal life and be vulnerable, be really real. Okay, first date move number three. Give her a sexy compliment. Here's what you want to do. Look for something on the date.
Look for a trait that you notice about her that you like and tell her that you find it sexy. And I want you to use the word sexy. For example, I was on a date once with a woman from Bumble. Her name is Rebecca. And I had been playing it safe. I was not taking my own dating coach advice. And I remember thinking, find something, find something really sexy and special about her.
And she got up and walked from our seat to the ladies' room. And as I looked at her walk, I thought, what a sexy walk she has. She walks like a runway model. When she gets back, she sits down next to me and I said, listen, I gotta tell you something. You have the sexiest walk I've seen since the Obama administration. I could not take my eyes off you when you walked away.
And she blushed and she swooned a little bit. And she touched me and leaned in and said, well, you know, I used to do some modeling in my 20s. And all of a sudden, just by giving her that sexy compliment, I had changed the romantic tone of the date from more friendly to romantic. And we were pretty much all over each other at that point.
And all I did was tell her that there was something specific about her that I found sexy. So when you give her the sexy compliment, make sure it's a trait or it's not something purely about her physique. So don't say you have sexy eyes or a sexy body. That might be true, but those are common cliched compliments that other guys give.
You want to compliment her intelligence, her wit, her laugh, her walk, something that she does or something that she is. Another quick story. On my first date with my now girlfriend, Jess, the love of my life, my schmoopy, as I call her, that's our pet name, on my first date with Jess, I was blown away by how witty and funny she is. And I said, hey, you know what's really sexy about you?
Sure, you're pretty, anybody could see that, but you're so quick-witted, you're so quick on your feet, I'm just trying to keep up with you. That's very sexy to me. And she later told me that that made her melt inside.
because women are used to surface level compliments about their looks give her a deeper more impactful compliments tell her a trait that you find sexy or attractive and that's going to keep you out of that friend zone for sure here's first date move number four find emotional commonalities
this will allow you to connect with any woman emotionally so here's the tip the tip is you want to find out what you and she feel the same way about rather than trying to find informational commonalities you may or may not have things in common with your date maybe you didn't both go to the same college maybe you don't like the same music or like the same movies however you can always find certain emotional commonalities you can find things that you feel the same way about
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