How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Say This, Get the Date (No Flaking!) How To Never Run Out of Things to Say (Part 3 of 4)
Fri, 14 Feb 2025
You’re talking to a woman you like—now what? How do you avoid running out of things to say and awkward silences? And how do you ask her out? In Part 3 of this special dating IRL series, dating coach Connell Barrett gives you a simple, 3-step roadmap to keep the conversation flowing, spark attraction, and smoothly get her number. Plus, discover the 7 biggest conversation fails that kill attraction (and how to fix them). And you’ll learn the right way to meet women at the gym, without being “that guy.”You’re About to Learn:2:47: The 3-Step Roadmap to Keep Conversations Flowing and Get the Date5:37: What to Talk About First After You Approach8:15: The Magic Word that Makes You More Interesting to Her12:30: The Exact Way to Ask Her Out21:51: How to Get Her Phone Number27:07: The BIG Mistake that Will Get You Ghosted28:45: The 7 Conversation Fails that Kill Attraction and How to Avoid Them47:10: Why Women Ghost You—and the Simple Move to Fix It56:54: How to Meet and Charm Women at Your GymListen now to have flirty conversations with women you meet IRL—so you can get dates!FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]
Chapter 1: How can you keep a conversation flowing naturally with women?
And knowing that you are more than enough for a woman. What you say is enough for a woman because it's coming from you, a really great guy. You don't need great game because you're a great guy. Ooh, I just made that up. That was pretty good. Welcome back to the How to Get a Girlfriend podcast. I am dating coach and bestselling author, Conal Barrett.
I'm here to help you confidently meet and attract wonderful women in real life and do it without weird tricks or cringy pickup moves. Okay, so you've got her attention. You just broke the ice with this wonderful woman. Now what? She's smiling. You said hi. Now you're in a conversation, but suddenly your mind goes blank. What do you say next? How do you not run out of things to say?
How do you keep her interested? What if the conversation dies? Most guys struggle with this. They either freeze up, or they ask boring questions, or they ramble, or they have a really long, awkward pause, and then she just slinks away. And the result is no numbers, no dates, no chemistry, no success. But not you.
not after today's podcast episode, because this is part three of my four-part special series here for Valentine's Day week on how to meet women in real life. And if you missed the last episode, please go back and check it out. I taught my natural approaching method, so you know exactly how to break the ice with women anywhere in a way that works so, so well. But let's be real.
Just breaking the ice, just approaching isn't enough. you have to keep the conversation flowing. You've got to create some kind of connection. You've got to ask for her number, set up the date. And if you don't do these things the right way, then all this time and effort you put into talking to the woman, she'll lose interest or it will fall flat. So today I'm going to give you
I'm going to give you kind of a three-step plan that you can follow. Let's call this a three-step roadmap, a three-step roadmap to make your conversations feel natural, authentic, flirty, much more effortless, so that you can turn that approach into a phone number, into a date, and eventually into getting a great girlfriend.
And also, I'm going to break down the seven biggest mistakes guys make when talking to women, post-approach, and I'll teach you how to fix those mistakes.
And by the way, please stick around until the very end of the episode today, because at the very end of the episode, I'm going to talk about one of the most common dating questions and problems I hear about from guys, which is, how do you talk to women at the gym? How do I talk to her at the gym without being that creepy pickup guy who's bothering her mid-squat?
So I'm going to give you that tip at the very end. So that'll give you a reason to stick around to the very end. Okay, here's your three-step roadmap to flirty, authentic conversation. Okay, so you walk up to that woman. You use the natural approaching method from last episode. And you've opened in a strong, positive way. You've got her attention. And now you're thinking, now what?
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Chapter 2: What is Connell Barrett’s 3-step roadmap for flirty conversations?
If you're a software engineer, if you're an engineer or into mechanic or into software stuff, if you are a number cruncher, if you're an accountant, it's very possible you're trained every single day, 40, 50 hours a week to be very logical and analytical. Then when you go approach a woman at a bar on a Friday night, she's looking to have fucking fun.
She wants to laugh and joke and flirt and dance and be silly. She does not want to live in a logical analytical place. That's like cold water in the pool. Logic and information is cold pool water to women. So you want to bring them some warm water. You want to bring her to the warm end of the pool. In other words, you want to not be boring.
So a really easy way to not be boring is, well, the last tip was bring emotion to your conversation, which I'll talk about in a second. Well, actually, I'll tell you right now. This is sort of an extension of the last tip. To not be boring, start off a lot of sentences with I love or I hate. I love, I hate. Charisma, when talking to women, so much of charisma comes from having a full,
unfiltered, raw, real range of expressiveness, going all the way, being amplified, being a bit more spiky is a good word. So I love this. I hate this. I'm not saying be negative. Oh, I hate this. I don't mean be a negative person, but feel free to let her know that you absolutely love the Beatles.
and love Coldplay, but you fucking hate country music, and you hate reality housewives shows, and you love what she just said about X, but you hate what she said about Y. Having some love and hate in your conversation is a good way to kind of spike the conversational punch. Because you're doing what bad boys do.
You're doing the thing that more unfiltered men who just quote unquote tell it like it is do. But you get to do it as a big hearted, authentic, awesome guy, as a gentleman, as what I call a 1% man. You get to do it as that best, most authentic self. So you get to steal the bad boy moves. without being an asshole, without being abusive, without being a dick. You get the best of both worlds.
Women don't want assholes and dicks. They date assholes and dicks sometimes because assholes and dicks have a full range of expression. They're very bold with their words. They give fewer fucks. So I guess what I'm saying to you is you want to give fewer conversational fucks. You want to be more expressive and extreme in your expression. So lots of I love and lots of I hate. Not lots of I hate.
Some I hate. I was on a date once. And by the way, the things you love and hate can be the smallest, silliest little things, like trifles. I was on a date once, and I remember we were talking about, oh, my God, I love travel. I love seeing the world. I just got back from Ireland. I felt so lit up standing on the cliffs of Moher. I was so connected to my family, my past, the waves crashing.
I felt superhuman. And she was just loving it. And then I said, but you know what I hate? On the flight back, this asshole guy behind me was using my seat back to stand up five times. He kept jerking me back. I hate people like that. People like that should be thrown out of the plane. So I'm not really being negative. I'm being grumpy and also so genuine. I hate people like that who sit behind me.
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