My Girlfriend Jess Reveals the #1 Secret to Landing Second Dates! (Most Men Make 3 BIG Mistakes)
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What makes a dating profile stand out?
She's the most important person in my life, and I wanted to have her on to talk about, well, how I got her to be my girlfriend. Welcome to the podcast, Jessamyn.
Hi. Thanks for having me.
I was about to start chatting with you and all of a sudden I had flashbacks because we've never done a podcast together. And I'm like, wow, this is kind of like a new first date.
It definitely feels like it's the first date all over again.
A little nervous. How's it going to go? Is she going to like this? Let's see what happens. And by the way, stick around to the end of the episode because Jessamyn is going to share with you three of the biggest mistakes that men make on first dates that you might be making. And we're also going to talk about how to fix those things. So stick around until the very end. Okay, so thank you for being here, Shmoopy. By the way, Shmoopy is our kind of pet name for each other. So it's annoying, but it's us being cute.
It's annoying, but it's us.
Trigger warning for people who don't like Shmoopy.
Who don't like Seinfeld.
Exactly. Let's talk about how we met. We met on a dating app called The League. And what made you want to match with me? When you think back to first seeing my profile, what made you want to swipe right?
How did Connell and Jessamyn start their relationship?
I remember I had just joined the league. I think I was on it for maybe five minutes when I came across your profile. So it didn't take very long. And I just saw this tall ginger. He had some really nice photos. I think your tagline or headline was something like the real life hitch. And I was like, okay and you kind of read further and you're a dating coach and i'm just like it wasn't necessarily looking to have fireworks or have like you know jump into a relationship or anything like that i was just trying to get back into the dating game after being isolated for so long um yeah it was mostly curiosity but good curiosity maybe a little curiosity
So one of the things I teach my clients, and this is in my book too, is think of your online dating profile as a piece of marketing, and you want to stand out and be different in a positive way. So I stood out to you because of the dating coach angle. And in terms of the photos, do you remember anything about the photos that made you say, okay, I like what that photo is saying about him? What do you remember about the photos?
I remember they were mostly, they were good photos. They were, I don't, I couldn't tell if they were necessarily professional photos. I think a couple of them were, but they were like well-framed. It was just you. I think there was one of like you and your niece. There was one of you with a dog, but the pitfalls that you see a lot are like, you know, guys that have like a clearly cropped photo, like group photo. And it's like blurry, um, Or they just take a bunch of selfies. Like there needs to be some sort of effort put into it. And there was obviously some effort in there. And then you also had a photo. Your head was cut off, which was a little concerning. But it was like the last one. And I'd seen your face. I didn't care. But it was you in the policeman's Halloween costume.
Right. I was a hot cop. Sergeant Dick Utopia. My alter ego. Halloween photo. Yeah.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What makes a dating profile stand out?
0:58–2:19
2
How did Connell and Jessamyn start their relationship?
2:19–9:27
3
What texting strategies lead to successful dates?
9:27–31:44
4
What are common texting mistakes men make?
31:44–34:20
5
How can photos enhance your dating profile and conversations?
34:20–36:25
6
How did Connell perform on their first date?
36:25–48:43
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)